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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Horrible 20 week scan (having a bit of a rant!)

114 replies

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 16:27

Well I was all nervous and excited for my 20w scan last friday, thinking I will see a bit more and get a bit more info but it was rubbish :(

The lady doing the scan was really off, and said nothing to me and my partner once she'd asked me to get on the bed. She never said what she was scanning for or anything (I'd done my internet research so I wasn't in the dark, just thought she wouldn't have done it in silence!)

So about 4 or 5 minutes in I say "If you manage to see please could you let me know what I'm having"

"You're having a baby" was her response abruptly... and not in a joking manner.

So she carries on and shakes at my belly because my baby wasn't for moving. I ask her if she wants me to have a cough or wriggle onto my side.
"No, why would I ask you to do that?"

The only reason I offered was because the previous (very nice) lady at the scan had me doing that and a bit of jiggling on the spot to stood up.

Anyway... I end up asking again about the sex and she just replies back immediately 95% girl.

I asked if we could buy a picture of the scan and she said yes, but didn't really try and get an angle of the baby or anything, so when it printed off it was a mess, barely resembles a baby (luckily our 10 and 12 week scan were brilliant)

So everyone I know and my partner were convinced I was having a boy, I was hoping a girl... but I wasn't even excited once she'd told me because she had put me in such a down mood about it all.

I didn't even know everything was ok until I got my notes back from the reception.

Instead of discussing our baby my other half just walked out from the room and said "well that was shit"

Not sure what I wanted to get out of this but I needed a vent!

I know it's not for fun is the scan, she has a job to do.. but way to bring everyone down with you! lol

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ElephantsNeverForgive · 08/09/2014 17:14

Some HCP are miserable fits, just like people in every other profession.

The ultrasongrahers I had with DD1 were lovely (and I saw them several extra times). They were lovely with DD2 too.

The one I had for DD2's 20 week scan was a bit misserable, but I realise, now she probably disapproved of DD1 sitting in the corner. Tough, I'd just moved and didn't know anyone to baby sit and DH was in France.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 17:14

LittleBear

I never asked for chit chat or a conversation. I was just told to lie down and that was it. And when I asked about gender got an irritated snappy comment. I then sat and let her do what she had to do. And spoke to her at the end once I was stood up and got the same bad attitude.

I also stated I didn't receive a letter. The only information I got about my 20w scan was an appointment date and time at my previous scan.

The only letters of information I've had from the hosp. are about my gtt in October.

I wish people would read my comments instead of making abrupt responses. I CLEARLY stated I wasn't expecting her to be a jolly ray of sunshine talking about my baby....

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ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 08/09/2014 17:17

Both my 20wk scans were like that and I was watching her while she worked. She was concentrating hard, constantly manipulating the images, and having to look very closely to make out all the organs etc. the baby is wriggling round in there and it's obv a fairly difficult job because if they miss something they could potentially miss a life changing defect. They have to take measurements, do weird thing on the screen which shows the blood flow and the heart pumping it etc. there are so many organs, so many angles needed to get a good view of all those organs, it's not just like a biology lesson where you have to name all the parts, they have to check they are functioning properly. I suspect she was concentrating, and concentrating hard. Let it go OP, this will be a distant memory when the baby is here. It seems big now, but it really isn't. Be thankful she wasn't chatting away and missed something!

LittleBearPad · 08/09/2014 17:19

If there was a problem with the structure of the heart or brain you would have been told. This is definitely a situation when no news is good news.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 17:24

Shadow that doesnt really explain her bad attitude from me walking in the door and standing up after the scan. I know the difference between someone working hard and being a moody cow lol

OP posts:

MyGastIsFlabbered · 08/09/2014 17:29

I work in a radiology department and unfortunately the sonographers are there to check that the baby is ok, not to chat with you. This requires a lot of concentration and sometimes they can be a bit abrupt.

It does sound like the person who scanned you was a bit shitty but as long as the baby is fine, honestly that's all that matters.

Girls are notoriously difficult to identify compared to boys, where everything is a bit more obvious. Some trusts won't even allow sex identification any more (or so I've heard).

Honestly, if anything was wrong you would have been referred to an obstetrician or EPAC straight away.

Mariposa10 · 08/09/2014 17:48

Having a horrible scan is finding an anomaly or defect, not having to ask for a picture FFS. Get some perspective.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 17:49

Mygas im going to assume you didntread any of my responses and im not writing it all again so ill just make it clear again that a. I DIDNT want a chat and b. I WASNT bothered about the gender. People seem to be adding their two penneth before reading anything thats been said.

OP posts:

Bondy83 · 08/09/2014 17:50

I had a similar experience with my ds2 miserable cow didn't speak all the way thru I couldn't see the screen I like you was really upset for days after it. I appreciate that they need to check carefully for any abnormalities etc but she couldve at least showed me what she was scanning and say what each bit was spine lips arms heart etc.
My next pregnancy sadly ended when a mmc was discovered at my 12wk scan I have to say the sonographer was lovely and very sympathetic.
Currently 15wk pregnant again and again my 12wk scan was a big let down by the sonographer, given the circumstances of how my last pregnancy ended she was not one bit reassuring I was literally on the bed a few minutes all she said was 1single viable baby and to go make another appt for 20wk scan. My hubby had to ask what our due date was she just rudely said it'll be on the report I'll give you and ushered us out the door!
Needless to say I'm not excited at all at the prospect of the 20wk scan in fact hubby isn't even coming with me this time instead we've decided to have a private sexing scan next week where we can take our other children and all find out together if they're getting a bro or sis and get a good luck at our little bean.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 17:52

Mariposa. Sorry I offended you and failed to make comparisons to everyone elses situations in life. Nowget off your high horse and dont presume to know anything i have or havent been through just because i havent shared it here.

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Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 17:55

Good lucky with your private scan bondy, hope it will be a lovely experience for you and your family! X

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TheBabyFacedAssassin · 08/09/2014 17:58

I second what Mariposa said.

tomanyanimals · 08/09/2014 18:00

I think some people are taking this abit of the wrong way the least they could of done as you walked in the room was say I'm going to be quiet whilst I check the baby do measurement etc if you do have questions please wait until after and if you would like to know the gender I will try but can't promise I will see shall get started.
At a scan that can determine wether there is something wrong with your baby just that couple of sentences can make all the difference and people would understand why they were being quiet they seem to forget people go into scans expecting to be told the worst and some are so to know they are bing silent is so they can concentrate and that they can ask a few questions after is a big thing

MyGastIsFlabbered · 08/09/2014 18:00

Ok apologies for not reading every single post, but honestly OP let this go, if you're going to get this aggravated about a scan, then get frustrated on this thread it's going to be a very long pregnancy. Honestly, this isn't big in the grand scheme of things & I hope you feel better about it all soon.

I guess I'm lucky because I knew all the sonographers who did my scans personally & they were all lovely (except for one who didn't recognise me but she was notorious for being a bitch).

strawberrypenguin · 08/09/2014 18:03

She does sound a bit abrupt but the 20 week scan is not for pleasure it is there to check that your baby is ok. How do you know that she wasn't abrupt because someone before you really did have a horrible 20 week scan where she had to tell someone their baby had severe problems. Yes she could have (and probably should have) been nicer but in the grand scheme of things you did not have a horrible 20 week scan, you had the best news you could get - that your baby is healthy.

Bondy83 · 08/09/2014 18:05

Thanks I've got 2 boys already 1 wants a brother and 1 wants a sister so someone isn't going to be happy ha. Everyone keeps asking me do I want a girl this time but honestly I'm not bothered either way as long as its healthy.
Dont feel bad for being a bit upset after your scan yes its good there's no problems with the baby but at the end of the day we only get 2 opportunities to see our baby before its born so its understandable that you'd want to know what it is they can see it is your body and your baby afterall.

Branleuse · 08/09/2014 18:08

i wouldnt be guaranteeing it was a girl after her reaction. I dont think she could tell.

She sounds awful. Lets hope it was a one off and shes not like that with everyone

MrsCakesPrecognition · 08/09/2014 18:09

Mariposa is right.

PetShopGirl · 08/09/2014 18:15

I have had a horrible 20 week scan. What you describe is not a horrible 20 week scan. Get over it.

squizita · 08/09/2014 18:42

Rose sorry but as this thread goes on you sound more and more defensive. People will disagree as well as agree with you. The PP who was on their "high horse" may well have had the worst news hence her post ...

And as for the PP who thinks sonographers are "customer services"; the last one I saw (and I am pregnant too) was checking me for possible cancer. They're medics not customer services. It's annoying if someone is rude but they're recruited for their scientific skills.

MummytoMog · 08/09/2014 18:42

I probably would have been rude to you too. The 20 week scan is really difficult for the sonographer to do - they couldn't get a picture at mine because baby was so awkward, but I was more interested in whether or not she was ok. I paid for a gender scan because I know that's not what the 20 week scan is for. You and your OH sound a bit arsey tbh.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 18:42

Strawberry I already answered everything you said.. as for those of you who are being just as lousy as the sonographer and making presumptions about what is bad and what isnt let me say to you that you do not know anything about my pregnancy or current medical condition or anything else about me or my life. I am not into one upmanship on who has had or has got it worse and wont placate you by going into details about me. I believe everyone should have support in any situation they feel the need to. And hopefully no one had to reciev any bad news from that woman. Wouldntt wish it on anyone

OP posts:

squizita · 08/09/2014 18:45

And getting angry with people who have had bad news and speak about perspective is a bit hypocritical tbh.
A rude woman hurt your feelings ... so you snap at people who have lost a pregnancy or similar because they aren't saying what you want.

Original poster

Roseblossom2 · 08/09/2014 18:45

Mummy to mog u clearly didt read any of my responses about not caring aabout the gender or picture and the fact that my previoustwo scans were brilliant. But thank you for your equally arsey response ive come to expect it on this place. Lots of keyboard warriors about.

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 08/09/2014 18:46

Well then you can appreciate your scan wasn't 'horrible'. Was it.

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