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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

22 and Ready for a baby, Am i too Young?

37 replies

MissMartin1092 · 29/08/2014 22:54

Hi!
I've recently turned 22 and i am so ready for a baby.
Me and my partner have been together for 7 years in Jan, In love with each other more now than ever! We have our own home.. car and both have permanent good paying jobs. We both really want to start a family! But im so scared of what my family will stay and don't want to let them down.. Am i too young?
Anyone else been experienced this?
Thanks :)

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rainbowinmyroom · 29/08/2014 22:56

No, you are not too young. Who cares what they think? This is you and your partner's decision. Go for it!

AlpacaYourThings · 29/08/2014 22:58

No one on here can know if you are too young.

You need to make the choice yourself, after all you are the one who has to live its your choices.

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 29/08/2014 23:00

Would 'being the youngest' bother you massively, say for example at Mother and Baby groups? If you are the first in your friendship group to have a baby, would you be able to make friends with other mothers easily?

These are the only issues I have found, and I am the same age as you when I became pregnant. They aren't really reasons for delaying your family though.

Original poster

MissMartin1092 · 29/08/2014 23:01

Thanks so much for your quick replies and reassurance :) I think ill go for it! Haha

OP posts:

Original poster

MissMartin1092 · 29/08/2014 23:05

My friends would be very supportive as a few of them already have children and it wouldn't really concern me what other people think, just my parents/grandparents.. :)

OP posts:

ashtrayheart · 29/08/2014 23:23

Well I'm 38 and have a nearly 18 year old, I also have 3 more; 2 of which were in the last few years- pregnancy was a doddle at 20 go for it

ashtrayheart · 29/08/2014 23:24

My mum thought I was being stupid every time do what is right for you both.

LBNM19 · 30/08/2014 00:00

I don't think your to young, I fell pregnant and had my son when I was 21, best thing I ever did, I've always wanted to be a mum. I'm 24 now and pregnant with our 2nd due in October. Xx

Waggamamma · 30/08/2014 08:12

As long as you and your partner can provide for a baby that's all that matters.

I had my first child aged 21, it was a bit of a suprise but I already had graduated, a career job, mortgage, lomg term partner etc. All the things that make a stable and loving home for a child. 4 years on we're now expecting no2 .

Saying that we did miss out on some things, like we've never had a real holiday without ds and can't do things we might like gym or seeing friends in the evenings (dp works shifts so I have to be home a night for ds). Our spare money is now spent on toys, the house and day trips rather than ourselves. If you are sure you are happy to sacrifice these things then go for it. I also lost a lot of my younger friends due to different priorities but now have a fab group of local friends from toddler groups, they're a great support network.

Emma0811x · 30/08/2014 08:14

Noo way! Your not too young I turned 23 in June! Me and my partner also have our own home, both work good paid jobs and we're expecting our little guy in November! I cannot wait

Good luck xxx

Showy · 30/08/2014 08:24

Absolutely no reason not to if it's genuinely what you want. I got married in my early 20s and started trying straight away. My only advice is to think if there's really nothing else you have a burning desire to do first. No treks, trips, courses, expensive or time consuming adventures? Do them and enjoy them if you have the desire, if not, you are a grown up, you can have a baby if you like.

tomanyanimals · 30/08/2014 09:09

I'm pregnant with my second and I'm 23 I do wish I had maybe waited till I was married for both but that's more because of the security I think? But if you both have well paying jobs and are ready for the responsibility then why not

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 30/08/2014 09:09

Its funny really - just one generation a go it was normal to have a child in your early 20's. Yet now the norm is 30's.

I got pregnant at 20 and had ds at 21. I dont feel too young but it does seem to be a strange age now. At baby groups moms are either teen moms, who consider you an older mom or they are in late 20's through 30's and consider you a young mom. I havent actually met a mom around my age at groups.

Only you know if your a mature early 20's or not. I was, engaged, with a mortgage, reasonably good jobs, liked cheap uk holidays and good on a budget. If your like that then go for it.

Oh and biologically they say that 21 is the the optimum age, for your body to cope and it gets harder as you get older.

flanjabelle · 30/08/2014 09:25

I had dd at 23, and have never once felt too young. I was never one for clubbing and all that anyway. If you don't mind giving all that up for a while and having a lot less freedom, go for it. Dd has made my life better in every way and I would never ever change it.

flanjabelle · 30/08/2014 09:28

Oh and my family surprised me. They were all really excited, when I thought they would be disappointed. My dd has brought a huge amount of joy to my family and they love her to pieces.

Completely agree with why about the baby groups though. I haven't found any with similar aged mums yet, they are all in their thirties round here.

CripesItsTheGasMan · 30/08/2014 09:33

Your not too young at all you're in a good position to. Although when I was pregnant with my daughter last year one of the midwives said 'oh you're only a baby yourself'.....I'm 26

mindalina · 30/08/2014 09:36

i came on to say that whyowhy, about not slotting into either group of mums! it's really not important in the grand scheme of things though, and if you've got friends with kids already that'll help a lot.

NewEraNewMindset · 30/08/2014 09:47

Nope you are not too young, good luck

weebairn · 30/08/2014 09:56

My brother and his wife were 24 and 23 I think. Seems like a long time ago now!! Generally I think there were lots of advantages for her doing it younger, I had my first at 32. She has since started her own business part time, the kids are 10 and 6 now and she is only in her early thirties, all the time in the world to do anything. The kids are lovely. They are very busy.

I was too busy partying and writing and travelling and stuff in my 20s so I don't regret waiting at all (we both got together with our partners in our late teens so I easily could have) but I can see it has plenty of upsides. I felt the need to have another baby quite quickly as I didn't really want to be having kids in my late thirties, she waited 5 years to have another.

I think late twenties would have been my ideal time, but I was in the middle of retraining at that point and wanted a few years in my job first.

She did say she felt quite isolated at first as none of her mates were having kids at that age, and she had to make a lot of new friends and didn't have much in common with lots of them aside from babies. If you have mates with kids it's a different story I think.

Physically I expect it's usually quite a bit easier younger.

My parents were delighted every time me and my brothers told them we were having a baby and I can't think why yours wouldn't be - you're not a dependent teenager or anything.

polkadotdelight · 30/08/2014 10:02

Im having my first at 36 and honestly think it would have been easier on my body had I done it in my 20's - but the circumstances weren't right. There is never a right time so as long as you are both in agreement and you've thought about the finances it is no-one elses business. The only thing that was important to me, and this is very personal, was that we both were married (for traditional and legal/financial reasons).

KitKat1985 · 30/08/2014 10:26

It sounds like you have a very stable relationship and are in a position financially to manage a child, so don't see any issues there. The only thing I would say is just to think about if there's anything else you feel you would like to do first (things like dream holidays, or undertaking further study etc are a lot harder with a child in tow) so if for example you have a burning desire to see the world a bit or something then maybe do that first and have a baby in a year or two? However if there's nothing either of you feel you particularly want to do now then why not. What your family thinks shouldn't really matter.

squizita · 30/08/2014 11:13

You sound like you have a steady home life and supportive oh so that's great.

My friends have had their first between the ages of 23 and 37! Such differences BUT in the end their experiences have more in common than differences.

If you are confident you have everything in place as you'd like it, of course go for it.
One of the great things about the modern day is its OK for a woman to plan her family based on what's best not "get married and have kids when the menfolk tell you. "

I would always say to try to have a secure job, home, support and lifestyle 1st but that's not age - it's things you create yourself.

Good luck.

Original poster

MissMartin1092 · 30/08/2014 11:29

Thank You all for your kind support and wisdom! I love knowing peoples opinions :) I have only just started TTC, so now i guess ill just have to see what the future holds.. And just because a few people mentioned it i thought i might as well say i don't feel i would miss out on Holidays i have already had many away with just my partner, And his brother and his partner have a little girl and they love their little family holidays away together. I'm not really one for partying and i don't ever really drink. Thank you all so much i really appreciate everything each one of you have said, I really love how positive everyone is on here! x

OP posts:

RedPony · 30/08/2014 11:42

You are definately not too young! I am 22 and have just had my first baby, he is 8 weeks old now and I couldn't imagine life without him! You won't necessarily be the youngest at mummy and baby groups either as the one I got too has three people younger than me.
I got all the partying out of my system when I was 18 and it doesn't really appeal anymore (although I do quite fancy a nice cocktail soon :))
I have missed out on nice holidays as DP and I had only been together 8 months when I got pregnant and have only had one holiday together but that really doesn't bother me as I have lots of family holidays to look forward too
I was surprised at how many people stopped making an effort with me including one of my best friends but I have made better friends at mother and baby groups who are fab :) My health visitor keeps saying "your mummy friends will be your friends for life"

If you feel you are ready then go ahead and do what YOU feel you should do and not what other people think you should do.

Wrcgirl · 30/08/2014 11:50

I know mostly 20 something mums :/ maybe that's just because my friends and i all wanted babies about the same time? It's supposed to be safer that age so very positive if you are ready for the responsibility

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