Midwife comments on weight - confused!

[rampallion]

I’m 26+2 and had an appointment with the midwife this morning. When it came to weigh me, she observed that I’d put on 7kg (just over 1 stone) and disparagingly said I’d put on a lot of weight , repeating it twice (yes I heard you the first time!) I’m 164cm/5ft3 and weighed 50 kg at start of pregnancy and weight 57 kg now.)

I felt thoroughly disheartened when I left and burst into tears when I got home! (Thank you pregnancy hormones…!) I’ve always been really careful about what I eat; however it is true that since being pregnant I’ve been far more relaxed - without ‘eating for two’. I then had a look online at average weight gain for 26 weeks, and every page I looked at said that my weight gain is completely normal for this stage of the pregnancy, bang in the middle of the range… So now I don’t know what to think, whether or not I should keep a closer eye on how much I’m eating? Ignore her and carry on?! I just don’t understand why she remarked on my weight gain in such a negative way and now feel really down and like a big old heffalump.

You are right, 7kg is not a massive weight gain and your starting weight was very good. Most midwives do not weigh patients except at booking in so I have no idea why she was weighing you at 26 weeks.

Weird... well, maybe her bedside manner sucks & she was battling wedgie at the time.
The problem is with her, not you.

Don't worry about it. You sound like you're being perfectly sensible about your eating, which is all you can do. It's really hard.

If it's any consolation I put on just over for stone with my pregnancy despite being very careful. I had a major fruit craving. Baby is three months old now and 2.5 stone lighter. Sensible eating and exercise will shift the rest.

Just keep on doing what your doing and enjoy your pregnancy.

Ignore her and carry on! According to the NHS' own guidelines, you're perfectly fine as you are. And frankly, weight gain in pregnancy is sometimes nothing to do with how much/what you eat.

for you and a hug. You're at a perfectly healthy weight and as long as you're eating enough of the good stuff along with anything else, I wouldn't worry about it!

Is average weight gain and healthy weight gain the same thing though?

OP is Tiny. At first I thought she said something like 15 stone, but actually she said 50 kg. There isn't a lot of room for that baby to go. 7kg is reasonable for 2/3 way thru the pregnancy. Honestly, I think MW just wasn't thinking how she sounded.

She's lovely

Op, I put on very little weight (not a stealth boast, just shows how much weight the old vino collapso puts on me!) and they never said a thing.

I'm your height and you're way lighter than me so IMunqualifiedO you are totally fine.

Thank you for all your replies! I think I'll just try and take her comments with a pinch of salt and try not to worry too much... I haven't been weighing myself at all home during pregnancy as I really didn't want to obsess about it so her remarks just came as a real shock!

Hi rampallion I'm also 26+2 today but different from you in that i started out at a high pre-pregnancy weight (dress size 20). Because I'm concious of my high BMI i have been extra careful about eating lots of good things and even asked my midwife at my last appointment how much weight I should be putting on. My midwife told me not to worry about it and to stop getting on the scales at home! She says it isn't a good indication of how things are going for baby and that bump measurements (and growth scans for me due to the high BMI) give her a better indication of what's happening in there.

I am sure you're nothing like a big old heffalump!! I bet you have a lovely bump! Maybe your midwife was having a particularly insensitive day?

Worra her BMI has gone from 18 to 21 at 26 weeks pg, are you concerned that's excessive?

At that starting BMI OP you are recommended to gain between 11.5 and 16 kilos by 40 weeks.

Meant to add as well as the fact that the mw was talking a worrying amount of shite, guidelines don't support weighing after the booking appointment.

Me, my nanny, my sister all started at 49-51kg pregnant, and put on 30kg over the entire pregnancy,

Yes 30kg.

If you have no fat reserves to begin with, you have to put a lot on (and fianlly get some mahoosive boobs!).

I'm at 54kg 2 years on, and lost loads breastfeeding, and after i stopped so although all the NHS booklets say you only need to put on 10kg, my family believe that to be rubbish.

Sticks united!

PostmanPat - Sorry should probably have added that I live in Spain, it sounds like they are far more into weighing here, I didn't realise they don't do it in the UK.

My.midwife has never weighed me! I keep track myself.
Doesnt sound like you have gained too much at all! Sounds like you have a healthy attitude to food as well. Try not to worry.

Feel so much better after reading all your comments, really reassured that everything is going ok- thank you !!

Have had really bad lower back pain and sciatica the past couple of weeks and haven't been able to do much exercise as a result, I guess that was an additional worry with regard to the weight!

Absolute bollocks from the MW there. I have had 3 babies, each time gained 3 stone. If you are small (and you are) you will (and need to!) gain more weight than average.

PostmanPat I'm not sure why you addressed that question to me, after I asked a question

OP, I wouldn't worry to much about it if you're eating healthily and exercising etc.

Spain has an obesity epidemic that's almost as bad as the UK's, so maybe the midwives are told to inform the pregnant mothers of their weight gain?

Who knows, but she doesn't sound particularly helpful.

Should add I was around 48kg at start of each pg, around 67kg at end, back to 48kg when baby still fairly small.

Weight gain in women who are under or normal weight is totally different to gain in women who are overweight, you should not be trying to limit weight gain at all.

I'm 26+5 I'm 5'4 and pre preg 55kg now i'm 63kg, I sound pretty much just like you right now and I would say your midwife it's nuts, i think i'd laugh in someones face if they said i had put on alot of weight, it's true but it's for a bloody good reason and it's not by any means too much weight.

I've been looking at weight gain for pregnancy all the way through and i'm hovering around the below to average weight gain so you are fine!

If you are small (and you are) you will (and need to!) gain more weight than average.

That simply isn't true

Reading MN, there are plenty of smaller women who gained only a couple of pounds over the weight of the baby/placenta etc.

Pregnant women only need an extra 200 calories per day and even then, that's in later pregnancy.

Some smaller women do gain more weight than average, but they don't actually need to, unless of course they are underweight.

Ignore her.
In my last pregnancy I put on less than the average 2 stone. The midwife who weighed me was joking with me saying I'd be walking out the hospital in pre preg jeans. In my second pregnancy the midwife at the 6 week check said I was borderline obese!! I had put on roughly the same as last one.
I usually weigh about 12 stones at the very end and I'm usually a size 12/14,5ft 6. So 2 different views, clinically obese and less than average weight gain. Good job I don't have food or body issues!

Sources worra? Happy to be corrected if you have facts.

My source is the NHS

Being pregnant doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically put on weight. Maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy means it’s easier for you to carry your baby, and to have fewer complications at birth. It also means that your baby is more likely to be a healthy weight – both at birth and as they grow up.

It’s only in the final three months of your pregnancy that you need an extra 200 calories a day. That’s the same as two slices of wholemeal or wholegrain toast and margarine.

Link here

Ugh, who wants to take medical advice that advises you to eat margarine?

The source for the information I linked to up thread is the Babycentre medical advisory board]] whose credentials are listed here.