Midwife comments on weight - confused!

[rampallion]

I’m 26+2 and had an appointment with the midwife this morning. When it came to weigh me, she observed that I’d put on 7kg (just over 1 stone) and disparagingly said I’d put on a lot of weight , repeating it twice (yes I heard you the first time!) I’m 164cm/5ft3 and weighed 50 kg at start of pregnancy and weight 57 kg now.)

I felt thoroughly disheartened when I left and burst into tears when I got home! (Thank you pregnancy hormones…!) I’ve always been really careful about what I eat; however it is true that since being pregnant I’ve been far more relaxed - without ‘eating for two’. I then had a look online at average weight gain for 26 weeks, and every page I looked at said that my weight gain is completely normal for this stage of the pregnancy, bang in the middle of the range… So now I don’t know what to think, whether or not I should keep a closer eye on how much I’m eating? Ignore her and carry on?! I just don’t understand why she remarked on my weight gain in such a negative way and now feel really down and like a big old heffalump.

worra the NHS also recommends different levels of weight gain for those with high, normal and low BMIs (with the low BMI folks being recommended to gain the most).

This NICE report (referring to US guidance but I have seen the same numbers on NHS materials) supports that: www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/13056/49926/49926.pdf

And absolutely Mintyy. I won't have that artificial muck in the house.

Yes they do eurochick

I was just pointing out that what a PP said was untrue.

Worra your question implied that you thought the OP may have gained too much weight, which is why I asked you if you really thought a BMI of 21 was excessive.

I wasn't wrong - read what Euro wrote, the advice for weight gain is different depending on your BMI at the start of pregnancy.

It stands to reason that a very slim woman like the op will possibly gain more weight than a larger woman. In any case she is likely to finish her pregnancy still within the normal bmi range for a non pregnant person so I think it is wrong of the midwife to have a go about weight to a person who is the ideal weight for her height! Her body will be laying down fat stores for breastfeeding. I have only gained 8kg at 38 weeks but my body probably knows it has more than enough fat stores already!

I'm not going to sit here arguing about it

You said "If you're small you (and need to) gain more weight than average".

We don't know that she will and we don't know that she needs to.

PostmanPat that wasn't my intention to imply that, so I apologise for the confusion.

*will

Worra again, sorry not meaning to pick on you, that info you C&P just says you should maintain a healthy weight, it doesn't deal with the question of how much weight one should gain within the healthy BMI range.

Smaller women are recommended to gain more weigh during pg than larger women; in the OP's case, between 11.5 and 16kg.

I'm bowing out now as I didn't mean to get caught up in a long debate

I just didn't want the OP or anyone reading this to think that A) They will gain more weight than average because they are small...or B) They need to.

I'm only 5ft 3" and slightly built. I gained no more than a few pounds in all 3 of my pregnancies. All babies were a healthy weight and there were never any concerns from the midwives.

I guess it boils down to the individual maybe.

The recommendation for smaller women to gain more weight. So yes they do need to gain more than 'average'.

I can't see what you're objecting to tbh.

Xpost - fair enough, I can see I've hit a nerve!

I'm little too, so got quite fucked off with the whole thing and contradictory attitudes.

And sorry if I phrased that badly.

She sounds a bit tactless but mentioning that you had put on weight is not a bad thing. It's very easy to get in the habit of eating for two especially if you are feeling tired.

I had to watch my weight whenever I was pregnant and I didn't mind my weight being monitored - it helped me with my motivation. I put the most weight on with DC1 and it was so boring trying to loose it I was much more careful with my subsequent pregnancies.

I know, their 'extra calories' advice calculated in slices of boring old wholemeal toast always make me want to shoot myself (in a non-dramatic, allegoric way).

It's like they're trying to kill off all the joy of being pregnant.

Also keep in mind that water retention weight gain can be a real bitch for some women! It's not necessarily about what you eat.

I am 5'5" and just before I got pregnant I was 49.5kg. I'm now 22 weeks and weigh 55.5kg, so have put on roughly the same as you. If any HCP looked askance at me I would punch them!!

Completely ignore her, Im confused as to why she was weighing you anyway. Every pregnancy is different and weight gain is different too and until you've had your bump you won't know what weight you've actually put on. With my first I put on about 3st that took a couple of yrs to loose. I didn't eat a stupid amount and worked 2 jobs. This time, 4th pregnancy, i weighed nearly 3 stone more at the end. I was big all over. My diet hasn't been fantastic due to ms and I don't work so have been able to sit a lot more. 2wks after having babies I've got 5lbs left to loose, all the weight was babies and water retention.

I've waffled a lot but I'm just trying to give examples of 2 different types of weight gain, weight gain that you can't control if your body needs some extra weight to help it get through then your going to put some on. All you can do is eat a good ish diet and listen to what your body is asking for.

Tell her to get lost. I am getting grief because I haven't put enought weight on and I'm pretty sure I have been presented with exactly the same chart you were looking at and told I should be aiming to be in the middle!! You just can't win. For some reason I haven't gained much with either of my pregnancies but then both times I ballooned while breast feeding. (Go figure??) Both babies were good health weights over 7lbs. We are all different and pregnancy is the time to go with what your body tells you it needs and wants. I' a scientist by training and usally love stats and guidelines but sometimes you have to go with what feels right to you. In my experience mum's gut instinct is usally the right way to go.

Don't know why she was weighing you at 26 weeks ! Or making comments on your weight...strange. Ignore her and carry on with what feels right to you.

Bizarre that she was weighing you at 26 weeks, i was only weighed once at my booking-in at 12 weeks.

Do you think she made a mistake? i do. Don't worry, the amount of times i got myself into a panic after a midwife appointment - i actually refused to go on my own after 5 months, go and see your GP for reassurance if your worried and perhaps take what the midwife say's with a pinch of salt.

The average total weight gain is 12kg if you are a healthy size to start with. Don't panic!