Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

Sounds painful and very unhelpful. DH will be back in time for the next one I hope? It never ceases to amaze me the difference between healthcare professionals. Some are amazing and some seem incapable (or just not interested) in listening to what we have to say.

No, I'm not a doctor but I'm also not stupid so don't treat me like I am!

Lots of sympathy. Hope you're not alone tonight.

Yes thankfully DH will be back for the next one. I've spoken to him on the phone tonight, he was great, but not much he can do at such a distance.

Am alone tonight, even the cats pissed off outside (she never comes near me if I'm upset or ill, disloyal animal!).

thanks for your kind messages it is such a lovely thread to be on for virtual support of any kind!
lottie sorry you had such a bad appointment- so annoying how presumptuous the dr was being when all you were asking was for advice in order to make an informed choice!! Thats cats for you!!

welcome to the thread dragon sorry you are here again but it is such a help to be able to share with others here.

Lots of teachers on here! At least with hols coming up hopefully that will give some much needed recuperation time. henrietta I had an awful lot of stress at work during my first HG preg which undoubtably contributed so I would stick to your guns. Agree that there is no point agreeing to duties in sept at this point (hoping for you that you will be feeling a lot better by that point but you don't want to be stressing the whole 6 weeks about it when you should be resting/de-stressing!)

waves at everyone. Hope you are feeling better lucinda ?

lottie there is a definite shift away from cs to natural. Not that I ever had a choice as I'm in the land of wonderful natural delivery only! But I was reading a lot about it and the feeing was too many c sections and not enough vaginal in the UK so they are pushing it the other way. Having ended up with an assisted delivery after a 28 hour labour, there can be just as many risks with natural as well as c section and the recovery time just as long. They are just different but either way both are still very safe.

And, I think after 9 months of exhaustion, malnutrition and dehydration, a c section might be better. It's bloody hard work labouring and physically it can be even more detrimental I am sure. Enforced rest as a result of surgery (which is a walk in the park these days I'm told by friends) must be better to help recover as a whole? This is from the woman who slept between pushes!

You aren't stupid, you can well assess what is best for you. Can you switch consultants? Glad you had the midwife there at least, they often know more than the doctors I found when I was in and if you can't switch, make sure dh is primed to be forceful. Mine was wonderful with one awful nurse and it was such a difference.

There's some bullshit here in the Netherlands that you haven't experienced pregnancy and childbirth properly unless you had a natural delivery and it's some sort of bonding process to do it blah blah non hg vomit kind of like breastfeeding snobbery (which is non existent by the way, if anything breastfeeding is seen as outdated and old fashioned by many mums according to my consultant), but for delivery. Who cares so long as the mother and baby are healthy!

henrietta I am sorry you had that at work. I would have replied with a link to the HSE policy on safe working conditions for pregnant women and copied my union rep in. What a stupid woman she sounds.

living thanks . DH is adamant that I should have a CS and very good at beligerently getting his own way in situations like this so I think I've got the next two weeks before he's back to really get my head around what I want then sell it to him when he comes back and then let him tell the doctor what's happening.

She literally did a stony faced 25 minute rant about how I was silly for wanting a fake 'easy option' and how natural delivery was the only sensible and safe choice and then sat back, smiled and said 'obviously it is your choice'.

By which time I was so upset I couldn't speak. Argh! As I'm coming out of the upset I'm just getting more and more pissed off with her!

Well I'm off to work in 10 mins. I have held back on replying to email so far as I've been at home, resting. I can't be expected to pick up my emails at home, right?! I know this will drive her nuts.

Funnily enough, she already copied the leadership team - she clearly thought it'd make her look good & me bad. I'm hoping my measured, professional, clear and no nonsense reply will do the opposite.

Sadly she is highly ambitious, ruthless & known to be a bully, other than by management who think she's lovely. At least 3 teachers and several TAs have left because of her, and others have gone off sick.

I will definitely cc management into the reply and make reference to dr note which says 'increase as tolerated' and confirm important of safely managing my return. Then I may thank the head for his support in making my return to work as stress free as possible.

I'll keep copies of email and if it continues cc union rep.

What do you think?

lottie I feel furious about how they treated you - to let you sit there and get overwhelmed and cry and STILL continue to blither on without taking care of you and your wishes is the complete opposite of best practice or being human beings. God, I'm not surprised you were and are so upset.

I have been lucky with my consultant and he agreed to a cs for me (various reasons, including my panic attacks) without any sort of lecture or anything else. He saw what sort of state I was in and had my medical records in front of him. I haven't had a cs or natural birth before, but, like most people, I know a cs isn't an 'easy' option but it is one that I have chosen as the most appropriate for me. I know myself and what and how much I can cope with and, all that in mind, I know a cs will work best for me. Not that I'm not terrified - I'm very scared, very anxious...

Your dh sounds like a fantastic support and great advocate and I'm really glad he will be able to be there with you for your next appointment. Good luck to the ridiculous dr when your dh is around next time!

meerka out of curiosity, do you know how people come up with the whole 'there are too many cs being carried out'? I've tried googling, but can't find the source of such a statement. Personally, I think it is a combination of individual choice and medical need, so am not sure how one can predict how many cs are 'too many'.

Henrietta That sounds like a great plan and one that puts you in the best light as a professional doing her best under difficult circumstances. Good luck with work today!

HenriettaTurkeyGoodness, that woman sounds awful - it's amazing how in workplaces there always seems to be one person who spoils things.
You're handling it really well, but you don't need this strain. How are the union where you are? You need to take care of yourself, not this strain.
Lottie That's awful - how condescending and insensitive. if you have extra health problems, why will they be helped by a natural delivery? Obviously, don't say if you don't want. These consultants may not always know as much as they believe - I was told years before I had DD that having a baby would cure my migraines; it made them worse!
DragonBoobs Cyclazine being the starting point, bossy Mother Hen says, don't hesitate to ask for something else if it isn't helping, though I'm sure you know that as a veteran.
Booboosto Waves. I've got to do another list!
Livingzuid Fascinating facts. It's so long since I gave birth that 'natural' birth was all the thing when I did, and it seems to have come full circle.
Elizebethsmum Hugs.
Oklahoma It's so dismal that there hasn't been any let up yet.
Apologies to anyone rudely ignored. Back soon.
xx

Well I am still at home, though totally crippled by the nausea, can't get out of bed, or even sit up most of the time. I spoke to a lady at PSS who was really kind and is matching me up with a volunteer. What a great scheme, will definitely look into volunteering myself when this is all over. 10 weeks today. Sorry I can't read thread properly.

hey kalidasa glad you are still at home :-) I have a PSS volunteer too and we stay in touch by text (and phonecalls if I want) - she is wonderful - really glad you are getting one too! I really, really hope you feel much better soon.

Well, I'm at work. I arrived and did my lunch duty. Then no-one turned up to relieve me, so I did half of a second duty too. Then the head arrived and asked to see me. I told him that I couldn't leave as no-one had turned up to replace me, so he found someone.

So my 30 minute break was 15 minutes of duty, and then a meeting with the head. I let it go, as I knew I had PPA after lunch.

He then said that they assumed that I wouldn't be having my PPA as he assumed that as part of a phased return I would be here to teach (guilt trip much???) - also the person usually taking my class at that time is off sick. With stress.

I said no - I was here to do PPA, this was my third session back and that was on my timetable - and I would be sticking to it. I reminded him we had discussed this in our previous meeting on Monday, as I would be writing a risk assessment.

He looked surprised, and said he had forgotten.

I asked him to confirm that the risk assessment hadn't already been written - and he called the 'lovely' assistant head, who said that she had already written it. Even though he emailed me asking if I could do it, and I had confirmed in a meeting that I would.

Finally they rejigged things and I got my PPA. The head then told me to plan lessons for the students for the coming weeks 'in case I wasn't well enough to be in school' (he's not meant to direct my PPA, btw).

By the time he left I was in tears in my classroom. I'm only still here because I want to see out my day so that I don't have to officially go sick till Monday.

I won't be back in this term - this is ridiculous and far too stressful. And I'll be contacting my union - when I've calmed down. Such a shame - the head used to be a bit of a radical lefty, when he was a regular teacher.

...as for the email - I still haven't written it, but certainly will no longer be thanking him for his support.

You guys, however, are awesome.

That sounds rubbish Henrietta I guess you've tried everything now though so at least you can be off guilt free (or as far as that is ever possible!).

It's stupid though. Surely having some of our time would be better than no time and yet they make it impossible to make a phased return work. It's just counter productive.

That's what I would've thought too...and yet in the meeting he was still talking about increasing my hours to full days next week. :(

lucinda I don't really want to do details if that's ok, but basically there is research that shows some women's condition is helped by childbirth, other women however, are made much worse. So it's a pretty big risk! Consultant wasn't acknowledging a risk at all- just this is a cure for all your problems, why wouldn't you want to take it?

henrietta your SMT really have shot themselves in the foot. Stupid people. Time for a new job when you get over this and maternity leave? To put it in context my phased return lasted all term (doctors note only covered first half), they kept on my sickness cover for the term and we split my classes between us (she's also covering my maternity leave so I've been able to handover everything properly). There was no question of my doing duties this term at all (completely removed from the rotas, normal duties and sports day etc...) and no questions asked when I've come in late/gone early for naps etc... I've worked in state and independent and you get bullies in both... But I can't imagine there being scope for this kind of support in the state sector.

Lottie that sounds amazing.

I agree they really have shot themselves in the foot. It was all unnecessary too, as Y11 and Post 16 left last week so there are a fair few available staff at any given time.

I just need to double check what I believe, which is that pregnancy sickness doesn't count towards sick pay - as I used up all pretty much all my full pay allowance being off with a bad hip. When that's confirmed I will get myself signed off with pregnancy related sickness until the beginning of the summer holidays, which in fact is only 2 weeks of term.

Henrietta I hope that you are keeping a record of all verbal discussions with and actions of the school / your employers, as well as documenting as much as possible in emails and saving them. Even things which seem small now might be relevant in the long run. Re sick pay, AFAIAA pregnancy related illness is treated the same as any other illness, i.e. You will get the same sick pay (statutory / contractual) as you would receive were you to be absent for an unrelated illness. Pregnancy related sickness can't be counted towards your total sickness for disciplinary reasons, or otherwise used for disciplinary reasons, but there isn't a distinction in terms of how sick pay is applied. Do check this with a practising lawyer though (or CAB - or post on the legal board here) as it's now over 4 years since I've worked. I'm so sorry that you are having such a bad time, it's just rubbish.

Lottie likewise! sorry you are having a hard time. This baby will be my 3rd c-section. I'm all for full and frank discussions with medical professionals to allow patients to make an informed decision, but at the end of the day it really should be your decision.

kali good that you are still at home. I would like to think about volunteering too when all of this is behind me. Bad day today!

PS Henrietta, if you receive only SSP during your qualifying period for maternity pay (I can't remember now what the qualifying period is) this might affect your maternity pay - I'd suggest also looking into this (although if you're sick, you're sick).

Thanks, Sunny. That's really useful.

I've had a quick look on my union website which says sick leave is calculated from 1 April - 31 March and if you're off sick over 31 March it continues with previous year's provision. Hoping that means that going back for this week has 'reset' my allowance so I won't go down to half pay. Need to make some phone calls to check that out...

Sorry for hijack everyone - I'm aware this isn't really an HG problem...

Kali I*m so glad you are not back in hospital, but this inability to sit up even does sound grim. I hope it's peaking now. Glad, too, you've been in touch with PSS got a volunteer. Do you listen to the radio? I expect the printed word would be too nauseating for long, let alone screens.
Henrietta Somesunny Okla and everyone. Everyone's advice is so good and I certainly can't add to it, ages since I was a union rep and that wasn't in a teaching union. That sounds like what my father used to call 'malicious stupidity' ie, half deliberate half careless sabotage of any attempt made to give you a comfortably phased return to work. I'm so glad you've gone off sick, it is so ridiculous. It's bad enough you had to do ONE dinner duty with Hyperemesis - but one and a half! As I see the head found somebody soon enough when he needed to see you, it does annoy me [anger].
Lottie It seems a calculated risk, then, and surely it isn't a decision you should be pressurised about?:
Apologies to anyone rudely overlooked.
xx

Thanks everyone for the kind words.

lucinda you're right it is a calculated risk. I don't feel like I've got all the info to make the decision though. The senior MW was totally pro c-section, and then next appt. with the consultant I got a complete barrage of the opposite. I feel like they are basing all their advice on their own prejudices and on the 'average' birth, not looking at me as an individual at all. The MW's are trying but by their own admission they can't answer my questions because they don't know the answers and the consultant won't! I'm going to write a list of Q's for the next appointment I think and try and get DH to insist the consultant goes through her answers to them. I feel pathetic for failing to get anywhere at all on my own, but I just couldn't.

starry im sorry, I don't know much about the CS thing at all, I think it was someone else talkign about it. However there was a thread recently about how the nursing profession is moving to encourage less medicalized birth and more home birth .... there was a very knowledgeable lady there. Although I note she didn't answer the point that the in Netherlands (where home birth is very common and the medicos prefer it when safe) women are voting with their feet and waddling to the hospitals in increasing numbers so they can get pain relief.

henrietta Im so sorry to hear about your head and deputy :( the last thing you needed! Im sure you know already, but they can't make the sick leave count on your record if it's preg related (Im sure of that) but I wonder also if they are unable to cut your pay if it's preg related too?

kali .... thinking of you.

lottie some consultants really are arrogant tosspots who can't see anything but their own prejudices. I used to work with disabled people, some of whom had been pressured into getting steralized 'becuse they couldnt possibly want children'... despite being on 45k + salaries as professionals. fortunately people like that tend to know their own minds a bit more, but you really have to be strong to stand up against them. Which is difficult if you are ill :(

Hi all, just marking my place again. Apologies in advance if I miss anyone or anything. No news here.

On the cs front I find the difference in attitudes very interesting. I can see myself having the same battle on my hands as I am starting to get very anxious about the actual birth too. I don't suffer as bad as some or have any mental health issues diagnosed but I can empathise with the others. I went through a phase where I thought home birth was the answer but I couldn't imagine anything worse now. Here there is a similar culture to Nl. No gas and air though, pethidine only and only an epidural for a section. I can't remember who it was but it was (someone on this thread apologies I can't remember who, living maybe) anyway it was the story of the 28hr labour and the assisted delivery and I'm thinking I really couldn't do that! My doctor at the general hospital is very blasee about the actual birth. I'm supposed to just let them do whatever they want. The doctor in the private hospital thinks I will need a section and would book me in whenever I wanted. Just wish we could afford it. If we have to stick with the general I can see myself having a meltdown at the consultant as well.

Kali, thinking of you too,

Henrietta, I couldn't believe what I was reading about your work situation what an absolute nightmare!

meerka persuaded to be sterilised because they were disabled?! Are we back in the 1940s?! I'm so shocked at this! On a separate note, I'm not surprised women are opting for pain relief... isn't that a normal reaction to being in a lot of pain??

Henrietta it sounds as though you are doing the right thing. Like everyone else, I find it so disappointing and frankly disgusting at the way you are being treated. I hope your union will be able to help. No one needs this sort of stress, and definitely not with hg as well.

Forgot to ask - I had a quick question. I'm 34+2 and, all of a sudden, I'm hit with really awful nausea in the mornings again. I'm so scared that this is going to escalate into being sick again in the mornings and more nausea. Has anyone else had any issues towards the end of pregnancy or at this stage?

I'm feeling very slightly better having taken my medication this morning, but after having about 3 'good' weeks, I'm not sure I could cope with a resurgence of sickness/nausea :-(

Well I read back to catch up but my brain is so fogged I've instantly forgotten just about all of it. Henrietta I hope you can sort out details of the sick pay stuff and get your self signed off due to pregnancy now and not get finacialy hit. Unbeliveable how badly they've handled your phased return.

lottie that is just SOOOO horendous. I'm so furous to read how you were treated. I do hope you can get some answers when your OH is back. Any chance you can see a different consultant? Could your OH phone and ask about that option when he's back?

Kali Oh I do hope this is the worst bit for you and things begin to let up a little soon.

Any one have any food tips? Is there anything you actually fancy eating, or anything particularly palatable? I am so lucky that I can eat and keep food down: appart from once in the morning I'm not being sick. But absolutly nothing appeals. Briefly crisps did, then apples and pears, then grapes, and mints, but one by one even those sound horrid to me. I feel nauseous non stop which is draining and I know eating does ease it, at least for a few minutes, but I just wander round in a daze trying to think of something I think I could stomach. So hard to make yourself eat when you feel so ropey.

Had been doing quite well at the begining of the week and finding it quite managable, but am utterly utterly exhausted today and don't feel capable of anything which is making the nausea worse.

Oh dear. DD has just fallen asleep sat up right in her high chair whilst I ignored her for 5 minutes. Think we all had a bad night.