Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

Pipsqueak is doing really well, thanks starry except for some oral thrush and a bit of a cold. But he's generally a peaceable baby. Proper velcro baby too, but we're both enjoying that :) and Big Brother is lovely.

I will admit that I'm struggling mentally post - preg. I look back and get a cold prickling feeling of, if it's not too strong a word, horror at the misery and fear during the whole preg. Also the meltdown I had in the last weeks kind of upsets me a lot, keep crying about it. Hate to say it but I didnt want to be pregnant any more, I just couldnt handle the misery even though it was close to the end. I was saying things that I really can't bear to think of now.

The physical nausea that comes back now and then, and the odd half- metallic taste in my mouth that was typical and the excess saliva isnt too bad. Oddly, it just makes me so glad that it's so so so much better now. Its just mentally Im really struggling to come to terms with how bad it was and how much I wanted it to be over.

Hope you don't mind me posting and letting it out even tho im post-preg. It's become a bit of a home tbh, this thread. I dont know how I could ever have got through without it and my husband and MIL's amazing support.

meerka I think it's great you're still posting and I totally understand what you mean about this thread being a home.

Nausea has ramped up again tonight and just been a bit sick. Hope it's just because I've overdone it today and not the start of a relapse...

meerka I'm glad you're still with us :-)

But, I'm really sorry that you are experiencing this. Have you considered contacting your GP about getting help? I mention this because I have spoken with my GP and consultant about getting therapy after my pregnancy because I know I'm going to really need it. I don't know how anyone can go through the horrors of hg without needing some professional help...

From what I've read and heard from people, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress, depression and anxiety all seem to be pretty common after effects of hg. I know for me, my panic attacks and general anxiety have sky-rocketed since becoming pregnant and that is completely down to the hg.

I'm starting to look into therapists in my area so that I have the support there as soon as I need it after having the baby.

Meerka, after my last pregnancy I was diagnosed with severe PND with elements of PTSD as a result largely of the HG. I think there should automatically be therapy/counselling follow up after HG, especially for women at the worst end, and/or who suffered all the way through. Can you access something like this now? Post natally is actually a good time to try to get psychological support quickly because of the awareness of treating PND rapidly to avoid probs with bonding etc. Can't remember where you are but can you ask your midwife or gp?

Btw meerka I'm so glad your little Willem is doing so well, and his big brother too! :-)

Also, I don't think you are at all unusual in your feelings about your pregnancy. I know I feel guilty that I couldn't even touch my bump for a long while because I couldn't cope with the idea I was pregnant - I was just trying to cope with trying to keep myself sane with the sickness/panic. I also struggle with the idea that I truly dislike my pregnancy and I feel as though I have lost months of my life - which I have - because of it. And, yet, I absolutely love my baby girl with all my heart even though she hasn't even been born yet. I feel so strongly bonded to her already. Reconciling those feelings or trying to come to terms with them isn't easy.... and that's before we've even got to the trauma of the physical effects of hg and how to mentally deal with what we have experienced/are experiencing! Truthfully, it would be weird if we stepped out the other side and life was all rosy and we completely and utterly forgot, within seconds, how unspeakably awful it was. The lady I spoke with through the PSS website said that a significant number of women have PTSD because of it and, frankly, I'm not surprised.

Epidurals are amazing. I had to have one my contractions were so frequent and at the intensity of end labour! Excellent anaesthiologist did it in about 5 minutes! Even been able to sleep a little and at last check was 6cm. Doctor is pleased with my progress. Dh is having a much deserved sleep. I have horrible acid! I'm also contracting on my own now so no need for the drip.

Going to try for more zzzz :)

Eeeek - honesly overexited about livings updates!! I droppee my glasses down the headboard of my bed late last night and now cant reach them. This does not bode well for my day - dam you crappy eyes.and short arms!!

living, im hoping that you and your husband are now holding your baby daughter :) \So glad you got an epidural. Thinking of you and hoping you can let us know how you are, as and when possible

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thank you for your very kind words Kali, Starry and lottie. Rigth now they are very much appreciated.

I am accessing support, good support, this time around. Its just that well, the only people who -really- understand are the Ladies of the Sickbowl and soemtimes it just all gets too much. Can really, really understand why people get PND or PTSD. Things are genuinely soooo much better now but in a way, I feel lonely with the after-effects of the HG. like you said, starry, months of my life have been lost. And it highlights how damned ill I was after our first son was born and how difficult it was to bond. Just sad. Hopefully the support will help a lot

Marking my place too. good luck living looking forward to the next update!

Meerka it's always lovely to hear from you...I can understand how you are feeling. The only thing stopping me from howling is the planned CS for Monday, if I did not have that to cling on to I would absolutely crack.
Today so far consists of nausea, vomiting, photophobia. This will only end on Monday.

I wish I had found this thread in my first pregnancy. I struggled so much mentally. I didn't know anyone who had been or was going through a HG pregnancy. I felt very alone and unhappy.

Living won't be long now. The end is in sight. Glad you were allowed an epidural . Woohoo, keep the updates coming :-)

Finally found you all! Phew!

living I am hooked on your updates, I can't wait for hear you have your little girl in your arms.

I am lucky in that I found this thread early on in my first pregnancy and even through the loneliness of being home alone for months I had you guys to reassure me or encourage me to seek different meds or go back to the doctor! Goodness knows what I'd be like now if you hadn't.
meerka it's lovely to hear the other side of things to be honest. It reminds us there is an end!
Still on morning bile runs, had an awful moment with some melon yesterday morning, eurgh!

punk you couldn't possibly overtake living now that would be cruel and unusual punishment!

meerka I am so sorry you are feeling this way! I don't have anything helpful to offer other than I can understand your feelings. When the pregnancy is so ambivalent, causes such illness and such joy, it must be difficult to pull the feelings apart and forget the suffering when it's over. Hope you feel better soon.

living hope it's all going well - came on for a quick update - hope you are having, or are very close to having, lovely new baby snuggles.

meerka, my HG has always been at the mild end of the spectrum (as in it wears off by 20 weeks, please let this time be the same!) and I can still really identify with what you are saying. Post my last pregnancy I couldn't read anything about HG (and the was a lot in the press because of Kate) without bursting into tears. It's also really affected me announcing my pregnancies - with DS2, although I told the people who would notice my absence from daily life, other than that I didn't tell a soul I was pregnant until about 25 weeks, I just couldn't face all of the "congratulations" type responses, when to me it had been so bloody awful, and I had completely blocked out the "having a baby" part of it in my mind. As I approach 12 weeks this time I'm having the same issues - absolutely no desire to announce the pregnancy, which I think my family struggle to understand. All I can say is that after you being so ill for so long your reaction is completely understandable. Hopefully you can get the support you need to move forward and put the HG chapter of your life behind you.

meerka I'm glad that you are accessing support. If you want to pm please do. It is hard to talk about this stuff. I saw a psychologist at the local children's centre and I was also lucky enough to live v. close to the Anna Freud centre so had regular mother-infant therapy there for free, which was really excellent. Once years ago I had a drug-induced manic episode which took a v. long time to recover from, so I am unable to take anti-depressants at all, which made treating the PND tricky, it had to be therapy + lifestyle stuff (prioritising exercise, sleep etc). Even so it was a slow road and I did not feel fully myself until DS was 1. I didn't get any pleasure at all from DS or from looking after him until he was about 9 months, and I couldn't really say I enjoyed being with him until he was 1 or maybe even a bit over. It was just this awful endless slog. I know lots of women can be quite depressed and still enjoy their baby but that wasn't the case for me. It is so hard to write honestly about these things but I think it is important that people do. I was probably always going to be someone who enjoyed toddlers/children more than small babies - I don't mind tantrums and toddler obsessions at all - but I had really loved looking after tiny babies before for friends and family and I was shocked to get no pleasure out of it at all with my own child. I still feel really sad about it. BUT I feel very different now.

Some things I will definitely do if I feel similarly a second time are: access help more quickly (I didn't see the GP till DS was about 3 months last time but had felt pretty dreadful from birth); get more rest; put less pressure on myself to 'recover'; get more help with the childcare. Although it is great to feel so much less sick after the birth, I think the sheer relief makes it easy to underestimate how depleted you are, both physically and mentally, and how much time and rest you need. It is an odd situation: to go straight from a serious and protracted illness to being in sole charge of a tiny baby, a stage that even completely fit women find exhausting. If the illness had been of a different sort it would be taken for granted that you would need a considerable period of convalescence, but instead you get pretty much the opposite. At least this time I will know that even if I do have a tough time in the first year, it WILL get better and I do genuinely enjoy the toddler phase.

Any news living?

I'm so glad to hear you all say that. I have been worried that my reaction was extreme or weird but it sounds like we're all the same. Though I guess it would be pretty difficult not to be traumatised by HG.

I think it really doesn't help that there is so little public awareness or understanding - or even among medical professionals, a lot of the time. It means there is no 'framework' for appropriate recognition and response, as there would be after e.g. a car accident, a bereavement, a nasty break-up or a serious but 'recognisable' illness. Added to which there is of course huge social pressure to be at your absolute happiest after having a baby.

The worst thing I found was how often even v. sensitive people - e.g. my excellent GP - would say "goodness that was a terrible pregnancy, but it's all worth it now, isn't it?". For the first six months at least I couldn't say that. I wasn't sure it had been worth it. But I felt like an absolute monster for not feeling that. And I realise lots and lots of women even after the most dreadful pregnancies or births do immediately feel absolutely overwhelmed with love and fulfillment and the "worth it" feeling. Just that not everyone does.

checking in, hope everyone is ok,
excited for you, living !
meerka sounds like PTS and totally understandable. keep talking/posting about it. do you have hv in Holland?

baby chaff doing great, he's 9weeks old now, hard work in the day but easy at night bless him!

I didn't think I would love my baby, I couldn't face looking at any baby paraphernalia, OH researched and picked it. I couldn't tell anyone I was pregnant as I felt so alone and unhappy, I thought people would think I was a terrible person. I had to email friends because I thought I would just cry if I spoke to them.

This second time we pretty much told everyone at seven weeks about the pregnancy as it was apparent I was very ill and we needed help. Due to my last experience everyone knew what to expect and they also put up with my pregnancy hatred. My body is pretty deficient of any strength and I wonder how long it will take to recover. This is a very difficult thing for me to deal with as prior to pregnancy I trained frequently and was extremely fit.
However HG has spanned across 2011,12,13 and 14 for me now :-(

It's good to talk about these things and especially with other folk who understand :-)

hello everyone,sorry ive been off the radar for a while as my partners been off work for halfterm and been hanging out with them which has been nice.

Wow living thats so exciting...i hope everything is going well and you have your gorgeous baby in your arms now!

Meerka Great to hear your little one is doing well,I really hope you feel back to your normal self soon.

Congratulations all those newly pregnant :) but so sorry to hear you are so sick...the worst bit for me was 7-19 weeks...it was totally horrendous and not sure how i managed through it but somehow I did and so will you even if you arent sure how right now.I really didnt think I could do it and spent most days crying.

Im now 22 weeks and somewhat improved although still exhausted all the time,unable to work(Im a nanny) and nausea comes and goes.I just dont feel right.Ive not been sick for a few weeks..except violently when i attempted to take a pregnacare tablet :(

Anyone further along did your symptoms keep improving after week 20 or did they just get stuck at that level? I want to be able to do normal things but even a short walk still exhausts me :( Sooooooo bored and fed up with it now and a bit scared i will never feel normal again.

George from 20something weeks I had good days and bad days. I still vomit and have constant nausea but I generally don't feel as unwell.

I can do more things now but it all has to be carefully planned, if I do too much I'm pretty bad again. I've managed to see a few friends, worked one day a week (admittedly very tough and a bit foolish of me) I even went swimming (once)
I find it difficult to go out for food but I live in a city centre so have managed to mooch about some shops very slowly.
I've never felt well though and have stayed on medication throughout. The fatigue never left me but I'm nearly 39 weeks so I'm blaming that now :-)

I hope you get more lift, no reason why you can't. Last time I managed to go out walking quite a bit from mid 20 gestation so each pregnancy is different :-)

Daisy Cecilia arrived at 7.30am this morning :) meerka dh was so keen to give her husband grandmothers name I didn't have the hear to say no! Meconium cleared up they think out of her lungs - it was a bit of a scary moment as the chord was round her neck and she didn't immediately wail but all good after a few minutes.

I am totally buggered for want of a better expression as I haven't slept since Tuesday! Ended up with the cone and stitches but it's all worth it. I'm going for more zzzz now but really interesting to read the thread - I was talking to my psychiatrist about exactly the same things today. Will reply properly when less exhausted. I was so tired I was falling asleep between pushing!

All I can say is I really really enjoyed my triple chocolate cookie after labour, the hg has totally disappeared and even though I hated pregnancy with a passion it really is worth it. You are a wonderful group of ladies and hang on in there - the reward is beyond price. For the first time in a very long time I'm content :) I will try and put up a pic.

And never having a McDonald's again!!

Eh? To give her his grandmothers name!

Pic is up. Looking forward to punk's baby!

Congratulation! A big well done to you, living. So glad that you are feeling well. Lovely name too (my niece is Cecilie, but basically prounounced 'Cecilia' - her dad is Danish- so I am especially fond of it). Enjoy your first day with your girl, and thanks for reminding me why were all doing this .

living oh my goodness - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Such wonderful news and I'm tearing up at how great it all is!!!! So glad it went well and that you are doing so wonderfully well too!! Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know you and your little Daisy are fine!! I'm so happy - you've totally made my day!!!! And the triple choc cookie sounds fabulous too - YUM!!