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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

DH staying sober in late pregnancy

28 replies

Lazybones80 · 14/05/2014 12:34

Just after some opinions about what others have done/are doing. I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my 1st baby. DH and I had decided that he shouldn't drink alcohol from 37 weeks just in case he needs to drive me to the hospital. However he's been invited out at the weekend, so he's delaying sobriety until next week.
None of his friends have kids and once baby arrives his social life will end for some time, so I'm all for him making the most of the chance to go out with his mates. I may be pregnant for another 4 weeks before I'm induced after all.
What did others do in this situation? Did you have a gestation cut-off when he stayed in and stayed sober? Did anyone just continue going out as normal and hope the early stages of labour allowed time to sober-up?!

OP posts:

Isabelleforyourbicycle · 14/05/2014 12:53

Same situation as you, 37 weeks. DH is knocking booze on the head this weekend I think, it's a good excuse for a detox and some proper quality sleep before the chaos of a newborn! I suspect he may still have the odd one but not enough that he can't drive me to the hospital.
The exception we've agreed on is a friends BBQ in two weeks time. He is definitely going to drink at that and risk it for one night!
We are bearing in mind that I was 11 days overdue with DD so have form for late babies.
I'm looking forward to him abstaining considering I've been sober for 9 boring dull months now!

Yamyoid · 14/05/2014 12:56

Dh didn't stop and there weren't problems, contractions started during the day for both dcs.

ikeaismylocal · 14/05/2014 13:08

My dp is not a big drinker and didn't drink throughout my entire pregnancy but his work Christmas party was when I was a week overdue so I sent him with the instruction to get "too drunk to drive" I hoped that sods law would make me go into labour that evening ( I was desperate to give birth) we would have just got a taxi. Sods law didn't work and ds arrived a week later.

I don't think it's necessary for dps to not drink at all, I wouldn't want an extremely drunk dp supporting me through labour, but I wouldn't mind a tipsy dp ( I felt off my head with gas and air anyway!)

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 14/05/2014 13:09

No deadline for going out here. DH was out for a drink when I was about 7 days overdue. But he stuck to one or two from about 38 weeks. Would not have been pleased if he had decided to get plastered.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 14/05/2014 13:14

I don't think DH stopped drinking. That sounds like he drinks loads he doesn't at all! He occasionally has a glass of wine and doesn't go out that much. As it was my waters broke at 2am so it didn't make any difference.

Lanabelle · 14/05/2014 13:15

It doesn't bother me and it never did, I drove myself to hospital twice in early labour and it was fine. The chances of it happening that one night are slim but maybe have a backup plan if you don't think ou will be able to ie ask of a friend of someone would mind being on standby just incase?

Poledra · 14/05/2014 13:21

DH doesn't drive. Consequently, we had no rules about drinking. I had my strategies in place to get to hospital (my mum was driving me, we had friends as back-ups in case something went wrong, there's always a taxi!). So, the answer is, IMO, have back-up plans in place and good luck with the birth!

RoseberryTopping · 14/05/2014 13:29

He's not a big drinker anyway but he won't be going on any big nights out from 38 weeks onwards. He's going to a wedding a couple of hours from us on my due date but is under strict instructions to drink nothing!

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 14/05/2014 13:38

For me it wasn't so much about not being able to drive (there are taxis...) as not wanting a drunk birth partner! Thankfully DH felt the same.

thereisnoeleventeen · 14/05/2014 13:38

At 37 weeks I'd probably be happy enough with DH going out for one last do, I'd be in bed early with a film and an early night. So far my DC's have been late or on time, DH usually stops drinking anything at all around the 39 week mark.

slev · 14/05/2014 13:46

DH had planned to stop drinking a week before (because first babies are always late - apparently). Cue DS turning up a week early and one very relieved DH because he didn't have to stop drinking (I went into labour at lunchtime and didn't go into hospital until the next day so he would have had plenty of time to get rid of the alcohol anyway).

Probably depends how much you drink normally - DH would only have had a beer or two in the evening at the weekend so most of the time would be fine to drive anyway.

slightlyinsane · 14/05/2014 14:04

No ban imposed by me but dh has stopped drinking. He won't drive even after a mouthful normally so imposes his own ban. I have tried to get him to have one but he won't.

ChicaMomma · 14/05/2014 14:33

No ban imposed by me either.. not really the way i roll. That said, we are really only 20 mins from the hospital by taxi if needs be. And he's a sensible sort, not unlike Slightlyinsane's guy.. normally i'm the one shoving wine down his gob!!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/05/2014 14:38

I think the driving issue is a red herring as you can/should take a taxi, especially if parking at the hospital is scarce. However you could go into labour at any time really and he needs to be sober enough to be helpful and not a liability.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 14:42

I didnt ask DH to stop and seeing as he doesnt drive we already had other plans in plae to get to the hospital.

Could you have someone on standby for that weekend or ask Dh To ring round and get a list of taxi firms which are happy.to transport a labouring woman?

SouthDerbyshireMamma · 14/05/2014 14:44

My OH is free to decide if he wants to quit drinking at any stage. I'm happy to drive myself to hospital if he can't drive me or if that isn't an option I'll ask a friend/relative or ring a cab. He doesn't drink often or excessive so doubt it would be an issue anyway.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/05/2014 14:49

South have you had a baby before? I doubt you will be able to drive yourself if you are in labour!

SouthDerbyshireMamma · 14/05/2014 15:32

Plenty of my friends have driven themselves a further distance than what I need to travel whilst in labour. Its a real short journey thankfully. Another poster above has also managed it.

As I said, failing that I would ask one of my friends/relatives or book a cab should my partner be over the limit and in the event I couldn't drive.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 15:51

at being able to drive yourself to hospital in labour.

loopylou52 · 14/05/2014 15:54

We agreed from 37 weeks dh wouldn't drink more than would mean he could drive if needed. We probably wouldn't have worried from quite that early on, but we were quite far away from home for a wedding when I turned 37 weeks and we'd had a recent scare over the baby's growth so all of that made us that bit more nervous of anything happening from that point on. I think if it had been a night out near home then I wouldn't have been too worried as long as there were other options (taxi, family nearby etc) and as long as dh wasn't getting so drunk as to be no help to me as a birth partner.

ChicaMomma · 14/05/2014 17:13

Just be careful about Car insurance-god forbid if anything did happen if you drove in labour, it's likely that your insurance company will count the policy as 'null and void' if you were 'incapacitated', which i'm sure they could argue you were if you were in labour. I used to work for an insurance company, they will try EVERYTHING to get out of paying out for claims, and it's rare they lose a battle, as the T&Cs are the length of your arm!

thereisnoeleventeen · 14/05/2014 17:51

TBH it's not just the issue of getting there, DH stops drinking because he knows how much care and support I need when I am giving birth and also afterwards.

It is a team effort, I do all the work obviously but there is quite a bit that your birth partner needs to do (if they do the job properly), they can't just sit in the corner in a drunk/hung over heap!

Lanabelle · 14/05/2014 19:12

SouthDerbyshireMamma you will probably be fine, I was only 17 with ds1 and DH was away at uni, I managed to go to my neighbour and ask him to give me a hand to jump start my rusted heap of an A REG ford escort soft top (leaking haha) then drove 17 miles to hospital. Early labour isn't as bad as everyone makes out - its actually quite boring tbh, I didn't know what to expect and didn't think I would be on my own in the ward before things started progressing so had to go buy some magazines and things to pass the time.

Bumpforme2014 · 14/05/2014 19:31

Haha I suggested this to my DH and his response was we could call an ambulance instead, he loves his booze! I was not impressed.

Original poster

Lazybones80 · 14/05/2014 23:19

Thanks everyone- this is really useful. We live about 40 mins drive from the hospital, so I could get a taxi easily. We have no other potential "support people" if DH is out of action, so I think this is the real issue.
No way am I driving myself while in labour, but kudos to all those women who manage it!

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