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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Large age difference between siblings

31 replies

Marcie123 · 18/04/2014 10:46

Hi all

I am 12 weeks pregnant with my third child ( huge surprise!) I am 37 and will be 38 when this little one is born

I also have a 20 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. My 20 year old will be 21 when the baby is born and I am worried about the huge age difference between them all. I was only 17 when my daughter was born so wanted to wait for my second until I was settled I thought I was done so this is a big shocker for me!

I was worried I was too old but I am getting over that now! My partner who is 45 is still worried but l am trying to convince him we will be ok

Has anyone else got a big age difference who can share any experiences with me

I would be really grateful of any comments:)

OP posts:

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Casmama · 18/04/2014 10:52

I would have thought that you would have a better understanding than most with a 13 year age difference between your kids. Presumably your 20 year old will be helpful with the baby and may be thinking about moving out soon anyway.

I'm sure it will be fine. Congratulations!

peppercold · 18/04/2014 10:54

I have an eight year gap between ds1 and ds2 and a six year gap between ds2 and am 14 weeks pregnant! Ds2 worships his older brother! Not as big a gap though!

Bowlersarm · 18/04/2014 10:59

I don't think it's a problem as such. It is what it is. It will be normality to your children because what they have is the only family life they are used to, especially for the baby and your 7 year old. And you are still quite a young mum!

whatadrama · 18/04/2014 11:03

Theres the same age gap between me and DD1 (17 years) as there is between DD1 and DS4!

I started at 17 and had my last at 35.

My Grandson is only 3 years younger than DS and another DGC is due this summer.

The big age gaps has worked really well, lots of DC in the family of all ages now and all generations.

I do a lot of the nursery runs for DGS and people think i'm Mum because my DS is only 5 and they look so similar

I cant think of a single negative as my older DC have adored DS and basically parented him alongside me and DH because they wanted to be so involved.

Win, win situation

Original poster

Marcie123 · 18/04/2014 11:43

Thank you:) it is nice to see my situation is not so unique!

I was feeling so worried about my age and mainly the huge age difference ( I worry far to much about what people think!) hopefully my daughter will be ok about it.

I am going to look to the positive. I may not have a typical family but nowadays families are so different anyway :)

OP posts:

FoodieMum3 · 18/04/2014 12:01

I think it's a lovely age gap.

I also think a 7 year old is still a very young child, so it's really not that big a gap.

We all have different life circumstances. Focus on the positives. You'll have no jealousy issues, no toddler tantrums, you'll have time alone with baby while others are in school/work/college/out of the house.
You'll have a spare pair of hands to grab you a nappy or watch the baby while you have a shower.

Congratulations!

TeaAddict235 · 18/04/2014 12:08

i'm 15 years older than my little sister, and my parents basically got a babysitter on tap. my summer holidays were spent helping out. morning watches permitted my mum to go jogging and have long showers afterwards. then when I came back during the holidays from uni, I saved my parents tonnes in nursery fees, helped with bath times and funtimes. now, aged 30, my little sister adores me and sometimes only listens to my advice. But on the down side, she still spends school holidays with me and tries to push the boundaries (make up, clothes, phone etc). but it's fine really

Foxeym · 18/04/2014 16:13

I'm 42 and my DC3 is 6 months old, my other 2DCs are 15 and 13 and it's lovely as they really help out with him and love him to bits

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 18/04/2014 17:38

My eldest is 18
My middle is 9
My youngest is 10 weeks.
Last one was a huge shock and I've just celebrated my 40 the birthday before her birth .
The older 2 adore her and help me no end , however people have on 3 occasions presumed she's my grand daughter lol .
Congratulations

Emzzy26x · 18/04/2014 20:14

Im the eldest of 4
Im 23
My brothers are 17 and 21 and my youngest sister has just turned 5
Im also expecting my first little one in November... So she'll be an auntie at 5 :)
Its really not that uncommon
X

squizita · 18/04/2014 20:44

It's a more recent thing to have a 'cluster' of 2-3 kids within 5 years, and quite British I think? I think perhaps it's because it's the 'norm' in the media etc' we tend to worry about anything else, as if it's weird.

My parents and my DH parents didn't come from families like that, siblings were stretched out over 15-20 years and my relatives in different countries still do. It's 'normal' and as other posters have said, older siblings can be a great help and are unlikely to have tantrums at the loss of attention. :)

breakfastnotattiffanys · 18/04/2014 20:51

My 1st was 21 and second was 18 when I had my third (now 11)- they have all got along brilliantly with the added bonus for me of ready, and in our case, willing helpers. Good luck!!

Salmonspringroll · 18/04/2014 22:14

I was 18 when my younger sister was born, and honestly she's the best thing that's happened to me! Made me realise young how hard it is actually having a baby, and the bond we have is unbelievable. She's 7 now and I'm her best friend and she's mine. I can take her out for days, we have girlie trips and dance around together. I'm pregnant now and she's excited for our new friend. And I'm always here to help my mum out whenever she needs it, babysitting etc. oh and the new baby gets extra presents on bdays and Xmas!

atos35 · 18/04/2014 22:20

I have an 8 year gap between mine and it's great! No jealousy, no one feels pushed aside. Only downer is it would of been nice if they had a sibling a bit nearer in age to play with but they have loads of cousins so not an issue.

SassehMonsta · 19/04/2014 06:22

Theres 2, 8 & 10 years between me and my 3 siblings! My sister and I helped out loads when my brothers were born, and now the boys are in their teens my husband and I are able to offer respite care for the 16 year old (the 14 yr olds a nut job!!). They loving having people they can look up to and ask qnything of, plus we're good for giving lifts etc!

My husband has siblings that are 8 years younger, 11 years younger and 14 years younger. The littlies look up to him but we dont see them so often due to him nit getting on with his dad. The one whos 8 years younger idolises him - nothing DH can do is wrong in his eyes!

Lozmatoz · 19/04/2014 07:03

I'm a middle child, my sister is 5 yeas older. When our parents were 41 (mum) and 44 (dad) they had my brother. He's 10 years younger than me and 15 years younger than my sister. My parents say I was great with him, I pretty much entertained him all the time. I have to say I was utterly delighted he was around, still remember the feeling!

When I went to uni, he'd stay over with me, which he saw as a massive treat. He's now 22 and is great with my 6 year niece. It's just our family and isn't strange or more difficilt than any other family.

You'll be fine, partly because you have too, but also because you'll all love your new arrival! Good Luck!

Dolallytats · 19/04/2014 07:55

DD is 21 in June, DS has just turned 6 and will be 1 in July. My eldest doesn't live at home anymore, although her flat is only a couple of streets away.
They all get on great (DD1 and DS argue and wind each other up like any other sibling!), I just wish I'd had them closer together, but it didn't happen for us.
You and your children will be fine

Dolallytats · 19/04/2014 07:56

I meant DD2 will be 1 in July!

Notfastmainlyfurious · 19/04/2014 08:08

Eldest is 24, youngest is 2 and there's no middle child. My toddler adores her big sister. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

Tranquilitybaby · 19/04/2014 08:19

I'm sure it'll be fine, like starting again yes but you'll have two very able helpers!
How do you find the 13 year age gap now? We're TTC no. 3 now and have a 12 and 9 year old.

zoemaguire · 19/04/2014 08:21

I met a lady at the breastfeeding clinic the other day. She had a newborn and was there with her other daughter, who also had a newborn. The other daughter was 37!!! A 37 year gap between siblings I thought was pretty impressive - by comparison you are cramming them in

MrsMonkeyBear · 19/04/2014 08:32

No experience of having big age gaps myself, currently pregnant with DC1. However there is 5 years between my older sister and I and 8 years between myself and my little sister. As a child I thought this was ace, big sister to do grown up things with and a baby sister to use as a real life doll, (with supervision of course.) My mum also found with us being older, we could entertain ourselves, which we back 20 odd years ago, allowed us to pretty much go out at breakfast and not come back until dinner. It also gave her 2 extra pairs of hands, so she could have some "me" time everyday. It's definately not odd to have big age gaps but less common than it use to be. Congrats.

Only1scoop · 19/04/2014 08:34

That's already a big gap 7 and 20

I think you are probably the age gap expert.

Lots of luck x

breakfastnotattiffanys · 19/04/2014 09:33

Zoe maguire!! surely that cant be right?? Daughter of 37 would mean the mother would be mid 50s surely?? checks contraception

zoemaguire · 19/04/2014 16:42

Kids would certainly have bookended her fertility years wouldn't they! I only had her word for it of course, but assuming first child at 15, + 37, that'd make her 52. So just about possible! She certainly looked to be in her 50s, and her DD certainly looked late 30s.

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