Is it cruel of me? I feel sad for having a boy

[FirstTimeMom12]

I thought I would be OK no matter what the sex although I was secretly hoping for another girl, so that my daughter can have the sister & friend I never had. Is it cruel of me?

I feel sad and depressed all of a sudden, I wanted a second girl :(

It does not help that my mom and an aunt always said that they prefer girls over boys and my mom blatantly told me she also hoped I was having another girl...

four
Well and we'll are two different things.
Using either incorrectly detracts from the point one is trying to make.

OP - I felt exactly the same when I was pregnant. I'd always, always wanted a daughter and cried my eyes out when I found out DC was a boy, especially because he was likely to be my only child. My chances of having a girl ar approx nil now. However, DS is now three months old and I wouldn't swap him for all the tea in China. He is beautiful and delightful child and I utterly adore him.

To have a gender preference is natural and it's understandable that you feel disappointed. But I promise you'll love him to bits when he gets here.

MrsPat, I was exactly the same, I was afraid of what raising boys would be like. I'm glad to say, there's not that much difference and the disappointment vanished after a few months of getting used to being a mum.

MrsPat that's reassuring. Well for my DH... He was a bit of a rebel as a child and worries 'boys are hard to raise, to be neither a mummy's boy nor a rough/naughty boy...'
Its not a preference so much as a worry if you catch my drift. Based on his own youth!

I pointed out my female relatives are tearaways to a woman! So a girl can be just the same!

I think it's really important that we have the freedom to say stuff like this. No one should be made to feel they need to squash down and hide something that's worrying them.

I think he worries all the more because we've lost several... If that makes sense. The wish to do best by the kid and not 'mess up'.

I don't think we will, BTW. DH will be just fine.

But what could be seen as preference by some can be totally different from "I want a cute girl or a little mini-dad-football-lad".

Squizita I think boys get a bad press. There does seem to be a prevailing stereotype that boys are hard work and girls are easy. "Slugs and snails and puppy-dogs tails" etc. I used to buy into this myself - hence my original desire to have a girl.

However, I used to be a teacher and, I have to say, the worst bullies I ever encountered during my teaching career were girls. Teenaged girls can be just as challenging as boys...

Pat I'm a HoY so... tell me about it! I think also the 'grass is always greener' - if someone feels they were a lovely girl/boy and enjoyed childhood, they want the same gender. If you had a stormy relationship with school/parents, you might tie it up with gender and blame that (and I bet plenty of teachers/parents/counsellors back then would accidentally re-enforce stereotypes).

hi OP, i recently had a gender scan too and found out im having a boy - i have one of each at home and secretly wanted a girl this time, i know what you mean, you feel awful to even think it let alone say it but i just felt a teeny bit of dissapointment however now im thinking it this way - we have one little girl who will always be our only girl to spoil with pretty dresses and shoes! and my DD will have 2 brothers to help get rid of those boys who will be after her at school when shes older! lol.
Ofcourse, when baby arrives it wont matter one bit so dont worry.

Nobody WANTS to feel disappointment with the sex of their baby. Of course we'd all love to be thrilled with whatever we get. For some people it just doesn't happen (immediately). It takes a lot of guts to talk about it and just because you may not be able to personally relate to the feelings someone else has doesn't make their feelings less valid.