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Original poster

Is 47 too old for a father?

29 replies

WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:09

A father that has an 18 & 20 year old from 1st marriage (with us) and a 2.3 year old with me.

I am 36. Thinking I would regret pushing it and things are good. Just starting to get 'that' feeling, plus DD will grow up an only as older Brothers will soon move out

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Flexiblefriend · 13/03/2014 11:14

No it's not too old, but what does your DP think of the idea of having another?

ChicaMomma · 13/03/2014 11:16

So- your husband is 47, and you are 36, and you're thinking of having a baby? is that correct?

Go for it. I'm 37, mu husband is 49, we're due our first in June.
Some stats show that men >50 are statistically more inclined to produce genetic defects (such as ADHD and Autism) but it's negligible.

if the issue is that you collectively have too many children already, that's a different issue. But in answer to your Q, 47 is certainly not too old to have a baby, no way! I think that's quite young nowadays!

Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:16

If I wanted one he would have one. But I don't want to do the wrong thing by him.

OP posts:
nevergoogle · 13/03/2014 11:18

I'm 36 and Dh is 49. Baby no 3 arriving in April.

I don't see an issue.

Nocomet · 13/03/2014 11:19

No, DH's at 56-58 managed petty well.

DH perhaps took over some practical stuff as a teen that he wouldn't have done if his dad had been younger. But then again he's an incredibly oractical scientist and his DF was a bookish academic.

Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:22

I just worry he will be raising kids for 40 years. He is family orientated and hands on, but does have dreams of learning to fly.

I don't want to talk to him until I decide it is right and not going to mess up what we have.

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Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:24

In my mind I can think of so many reason why not but I am feeling broody. I see pregnant women and my heart leaps. Maybe this will pass.

OP posts:
nevergoogle · 13/03/2014 11:25

You need to talk it over with him, not wait until you've made a decision.

How else will you know whether he considers it to be such a bind to raise children for 40 years etc?

stripeyblacksocks · 13/03/2014 11:35

I'm 32, dh is 50. We already have 3dc and I have only just accepted that we won't be having any more. I would desperately love a 4th but when our youngest dc (3) was born dh said he was getting too old.
If your husband is really okay with it and you want to, I'd say go for it.
I dread getting a bit older and regretting the choice dh made for us.

Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:38

I also think my DSSs adore DD. They buy her things like bikes, play with her for hours etc. Will it take that magic away?

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BEEwitched · 13/03/2014 11:46

I'm 32, DH is 45, we're just expecting our first child and would like a 2nd. I think he'll be a wonderful dad and he is really looking forward to it!

I think it really depends - I know my dad didn't want another child when my brother came along (11 year age gap between us) and he was impatient with him and couldn't cope, he was 46 at the time.

Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 11:50

We have spoken about DH reducing his hours so that he can do the before and after school time with DD. He missed that as was working away a lot when DSSs were young. He seems very keen. He is more patient and relaxed than me. Very fun.

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Shellywelly1973 · 13/03/2014 11:57

I've just had dc6. I will spend 42 years parenting! There are 24 years from my oldest to youngest.

If your both happy to have another dc then why not!

He sounds like a good day & your relationship sounds very caring...

Good luck.

Roseandmabelshouse · 13/03/2014 13:26

I'm in my 20s my father is in his 70s. I've never had a problem, maybe I was a bit embarrassed at school. The only thing is that I've grown up expecting my dad to die young.

The silly thing I realise now is that you can never guarantee your parents health whatever age.

You main question is does he want more children?

Fishcake77 · 13/03/2014 14:12

I'm 37 and my DH is 46 and we're expecting our first child at the end of June. Admittedly it has taken us 7 years to conceive our first child but age is just a number especially in male fertility and if possible I would love to squeeze a second one out before it is too late for me not my DH!

noseymcposey · 13/03/2014 14:17

WhisperingShadow DP has just turned 50 he has an 18 year old and a 16 year old and we have a nearly 3 yo together. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with our 2nd (his 4th)

My feeling is that with DP being an older father it's more important to me that our DS has a brother or sister his own age as well as his big brothers. In 10 years his big brothers will have their own families and will be more like uncles to him I think. In event of the worst and DP croaks off and leaves up I would rather DS had someone other than just me.

God that all sounds a bit maudlin! Plus the fact despite being quite a few years older DP copes on less sleep than I do and having a family together is wonderful!

BakingBunty · 13/03/2014 14:23

We had our first when I was 35 and DH was 50. He is a wonderful father - active, patient and incredibly supportive. We're now expecting our second at 38 and 53. I went through exactly the same internal debates as you, but when I discussed with DH, he was just as keen as I was. Talk to DH! He may surprise you.

I did, however, have 2 miscarriages last year, and I will always wonder whether our combined age was a factor. Recent research shows that male age can be of influence.

Wishing you all the very best for your discussions OP. Hope to see you back here with an announcement before too long!

DrewsWife · 13/03/2014 14:29

I hope not. Grin my hubby is nearly 48 and I'm 37. We are trying. I already have a nearly 18 year old

Original poster
WhisperingShadow · 13/03/2014 15:08

Maybe I will talk to him then.

OP posts:
KitCat26 · 13/03/2014 15:54

Dh was 45 when our first was born, and 46 when our second was born. He is 50 this year and has said no more because he wants to have some time to relax.

I'm (selfishly) trying to persuade him though as I'd like a third (I'm 31).

hootloop · 13/03/2014 16:08

Not necessarily, but DH is 40 and father in law is 80, we have a 7 year old and a 4 year old, it is very difficult to have the family life we want too while caring for FIL who has suffered TIAs and is showing signs of dementia.
We are doing the same care my mum does for my nana but whilst raising our own small children.

Being older parents can be great I know some brilliant parents of children my children's ages but I think about coping with FIL and always think that by having babies aged 45+ Those are the problems you are giving your children when they have their own families.

BakingBunty · 13/03/2014 16:16

nosey makes a good point, it might be a bit maudlin but the same thoughts went through my head.

Do let us know what DH says, hope it goes well.

Tigerlily14 · 13/03/2014 17:07

A friend of ours is 60 and just had his third. I'm in my early 30's and I swear he has twice at much energy as me! It's totally down to you both, you can be a great dad at any age. And babies are just soooo cute....:)

SweetPea86 · 13/03/2014 17:12

So when your child is 20 the father will be 67. My aunts and uncles are all the ages now and are loving life. I wouldn't consider them old at all,

Go for it if he is happy to raise another child then why not. He can still follow his dreams :) it will also inspire your child showing how amazing their dad is.

mrsruffallo · 13/03/2014 17:17

It's quite old. Older fathers find it hard to keep up. I wouldn't have a baby at 47 years old.