Wading into spring with the all new shiny Posifrickentivity thread. PG after MC? Dive right in!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

All comers welcome, we're a rolling thread. Newbies, middles and oldies alike, join here for hand holding, knicker checking and general batshit craziness!

Thanks lovely. I know I need some perspective, it just really threw me. All I could think of was the word resuscitation. We're so close now, if anything went wrong...
However my issues are no more relevant than yours! I think each and every one of us is a wonder woman, purely for doing this without going entirely bonkers!
What is the fodlet weighing in at so far?

Hey Saggy it sounds like the consultant was a bit insensitive when he said it??? Just going through the motions and ticking all the boxes from his perspective but it's not for you is it? A perfectly understandable wobble IMO, amazed you didn't do it at the time - no one would want to be asked about the resuscitation of their baby. Think of it as better to wobble now whilst ryvita is safely tucked away indoors than store it up. Big hugs, hope you got some sleep and are feeling a bit less jelly this morning? Can't wait to hear about Ryvita making an appearance xxx

saggy I think that sounds like a consultant covering all the bases, but maybe not being as sensitive as they could have been. I must have missed something, what has ryvita been diagnosed with?

You are so near the end now, bound to be a fee wobbles before getting over the final hurdle.

saggy I'd have been a mess, but I'm a very emotional person (my star sign is cancer you see) I've always thought that with anything of that nature there should be a room where you can be sent to divulge that information, have a brew, pull yourself together and prepare a list of questions that you may have for that particular consultant. My mum saw a specialist last week and it was only once she had arrived back home and tried to piece the days events together that she realised all the questions she had - she was very good though and did not google!

Your particular journey has touched so many of us and I think all the women on here would agree that your bravery cannot be surpassed. My bean has been predicted to be 10lb plus, my DS was 8lb 9 (which was a nice weight) DD 9lb 4 which shocked the midwife at the time due to lack of swearing, drugs and tearing (although I was like one of those OBEM women that had been instructed not to embarrass herself this time) and as she has been plotted on the 90th centile at each appointment that's whst they think ooouuuicccchhhh! My mum was hoping they'd induce me before that but it doesn't look likely

PS sending lots of posifrickintivity your way saggy and hugs, flowers oh and how about those chip and mayo butties you crave? Keep your chin up huni - your nearly there xxxxx

Aoife Ryvita has Downs Syndrome and a large but apparently very fixable hole in her heart. We found out months ago now and it's all become very run of the mill. Everyone has been amazingly supportive, friends, family, medics, MNers, its a bit of a shock when I actually have to 'think' about it.

We have been told to expect her anytime from now to term, early is common with DS, and given my emotional state, the completely out of character scrubbing ive been doing and the general aches and pains ive been getting, sooner rather than later wouldn't surprise me.

Thanks for the chip butty Fod. Its top of my 'could murder but absolutely mustn't eat' list atm.
10 lb does seem a lot, but its also incredibly common nowadays! And given your 2 other larger ones AND the fact that growth predictions are often highly inaccurate, im sure you're just getting the worst case scenario like me. In the morning light I can see that they need to cover themselves. its just flipping scary to be on the receiving end. I suppose at least we are talking eminently deliverable, everyone will be right as rain once it's over, babies, and not being faced with the worst case scenario of some potentially life threatening illness.

saggy I had no idea, about ryvita's hole in the heart or her DS. Preg after mc is hard enough but then hit with all this worry, and now with the scaring from doctors - I too think they are just covering all bases - like fod said in relation to erpc with burst bladders and all sorts. C-section babies often need help breathing / clearing out the mucous as something doesn't happen like it does with a vag birth. In my opinion, if doctors were genuinely concerned they would do a planned c section.

Its ok Fedup we found out months ago and it was all on here, just several threads ago.
tbh I just see her as my baby. The rest is all just other stuff. I know they cover all bases, im just tired and hormonal right now. A lethal combination in my house!

saggy you've amazed me with how strong you've been. I came across your original posts when researching with a friend, as she was given a high risk of having downs syndrome too. This has also been confirmed and her son is due any time around the 4th march so similar to you I think. You seem so matter of fact about Ryvita now , and very excited to meet her :-)

I think the attitude of the consultant is "normal". I had the same when my son was born 6 years ago. He was 2 months early due to PET and weighed 2lb 12oz. He developed meningitis in special care and I was asked whilst he was off having his lumbar puncture if I wanted to sign a DNR order (do not resuscitate). I was horrified and said of course I would, he's my baby and I'd rather do anything to have him here than not.

But to ask a mother who's traumatised about something a question like that is out of order in my opinion x

That should read would NOT sign the DNR x

Dito what Giraffe and Fod says. I had no idea you were facing these extra challenges on top of the worry about MC. This must have been a loooooong nine months for you - but hopefully the end is nigh and then it will all have been worth it.

I am in full on preggo rage. All things computer are total shite. I am tired and hungry and angry and think I should prob not go to work today. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

OMG was the doctor asking whether or not you wanted to resuscitate your baby or not?? How horrible! I know I wouldn't be able to sign a DNR too.

Oooh! Stay home and watch TV! Tell them your morning sickness is bad! Eat lots of crap for me!

You know, just talking to you guys is calming me down. Thanks. x
And Fod extra for you. x

morning all. welcome lotty here is a very good please to share concerns, we will try and help

saggy just reading what the consultant said to you sent chills down my spine so I think your reaction is entirely justified, I would have been very shaken by that question. I don't really understand why he would ask it I know that consultants can be insensitive but I feel that's quite far beyond insensitive really. I hope you're feeling ok this morning. Really looking forward to Ryvita arriving safely with you, nearly there now.

oh saggy if only that consultant had any inkling of the long, painful and worrying journey being PG after an MC is and could hear the gasps of horror from this whole thread at being asked that question!

Poor you, we will all be fighting for the best for our babies forever more and your gorgeous girl is no different so I'm not surprised it knocked you for six.

Try and focus on the very exciting fact that she'll be in your arms before you know it xxx

I am trying. You guys help a LOT. love to you all. xx

Lotty If it's really making you suffer, you can ask your midwife for counselling/CBT. I did and they were very reassuring - exactly the kind of thing you describe. They did tell me to avoid random websites at all costs: only use the NHS one.

Saggy That sounds a scary appointment. I think sometimes consultants say the most terrifying things and have no bedside manner whatsoever: there are probably boxes/things they have to tick in the very tiny chance they are needed, and he just came out with it in a really insensitive way.

Fod & Lottie I think it's about 95% at 8 weeks (on the MC Assoc booklet) and rises from there to 98%! :)

having a bad day today ladies. I am really tearful and my heart is pounding. I think the fear of it going tits up again is really just surfacing now I have a scan booked. I feel like I have been so strong for so long, but stories like Saggys just make me wonder am I as strong as i need to be. Sorry to be so self indulgent especially after hearing what others are going through. feel like crap

Ruth Exactly! I am filling this new bra and think in a week it will be giving me double boobs at this rate. AS you may have seen earlier this week my nausea got worse, I felt dreadful, but of course as soon as it eased off I was panicking. I empathise. But as for your body forgetting it is pregnant just because your mind did I feel I do have to swat you one with this big wet slimey fish wallop! Remember all the things your body does without you thinking about them eg breathing!

Also, if my boobs keep on growing like this I am going to need more maternity clothes or bigger size clothes way sooner than I thought I would as I won't be able to get my boobs in my normal clothes even if I don't have much bump for a while!! I already have trouble getting clothes to fit and flatter my mega chest. Agh!

Squiz I was being nosey about round ligament pain as I'd never heard of it and I read this "Sudden movements can cause the ligament to tighten quickly, like a rubber band snapping. This causes a sudden and quick jabbing feeling." That would fit well with when you said you were feeling it when moving suddenly.

Aoife Great scan news and lovely to have your sister with you

Hi Lotty I hope you can tell what good company you are in. Sorry everything is a worry for you but it is totally understandable. I cope by

1. Reading this thread helps me feel like I am not alone and if these ladies can find the strength to cope then so can I
2. Coming here to write everyday is better than sitting worrying
3. Trying VERY hard, and it's not easy, to take one day at a time and stay in the present. Where I am pregnant and all is well.
4. Distracting myself with books, making kits -you should see the mess I am making learning to knit- and films

Congratulations on your pregnancy. TODAY YOU ARE PREGNANT.

Saggy I am not surprised you had the wind taken out of your sails, that is a lot to process. But it's just what if's and covering everything isn't it? Sounds like they are trying to make sure your wishes are at the forefront which is good. Sorry it's worried you so much. Lots of hugs. Having a further read through sounds like you have had a lot going on this pregnancy and I would like to second that you are indeed a power house of a woman!!

Aoife Sorry your having a tough morning. The hunger and anger and tiredness is going to mess in with your emotions. As you were concerned about booking your Dr appointment in the first place it's not surprising a scan on the horizon makes this more real. Be kind to yourself. You are hugely strong and you can make it through the next few days I'm sorry it won't be easy but try to remember that it's just as likely to be all fine on Wednesday, in fact, surely statistically more likely than not? It isn't a given that it will be the same. I know it must be really difficult

Aoife PLEASE dont let my story put you off. Things like this are really rare, I tick all of the high risk boxes, and this thread has me, I like to think that I cancel out the risks for all of the rest of you. As for being strong enough, if I can deal with this, ANYONE can. I am the biggest wettest fish going.

Heart pounding and worry all go hand in hand with early pg. you sound entirely normal to me.