Comments that annoy you

[elliejjtiny]

Currently 18+3 with DC5 and got the pregnancy rage. Just thought it might be therapeutic to share some of those annoying comments. Here are mine:

There's no way you're going to go full term (really hate this, feel like they're wishing a premature baby on me)

It would be so lovely if you have a girl this time (I don't really care)

It's definitely twins (with ds4, after 9 scans showed 1 baby)

Miscarriage comments. Oh well you know so many pgs end in mc. You're past the worst but can't be too careful it can still happen. Etc.

Why why why would you tell me this.

Oh and why does everyone immediately start telling you about their horror birth stories? SIL went into such immense detail. Really, ignorance is bliss.

my dad has an odd sense of humour and kept saying to my sister when she was pregnant, and everyone else, that she was "whelping", which even I found offensive, and wasn't pregnant!! i did try to say something to him but he just thought it was hillarous!! he is nearly 80...

All of these comments are just making me want to delay telling anyone for as long as possible!! i'm sure there are lovely comments too but... i have always tried to say the nicest things possible, though i'm sure i've got it wrong at times. i'm 10 weeks, DC1, so have a few more weeks to go before i'm even going to start to think about telling anyone. we are seeing OH's family the day after we have the scans etc and he is super keen on telling them then. i'm not, but he's leaving it up to me.

my sister has just had her first (he's 5 days old now!) so want to know we are all ok before i tell her & other family incase there is bad news - i don't want to dampen her joy!

You look small for 32 weeks
You look big for 32 weeks
Your working until 39 weeks - you wont last, trust me (bore off!)
Is the baby going to be a footballer - Yes, she does kick/move, all babies do this....
Hows Mummy - this makes me cringe.

"whelping"??? Is that a dog giving birth to puppies?? jeeez.
I can't believe how rude and insensitive people are. I rather hope they just don't know what to say/what they're saying is awful. I am finding just general "advice" annoying, I'm sure I'll actually want to ask some people some things at some point, but just offering it uninvited is making me never want to speak to them about it!!

Flymo79 - yes! i know... hence why i'm delaying saying anything to anyone for as long as possible - though it is really hard!!
SIL had what she felt was a terrible birth as it wasn't what she had planned and has zero tact at the best of times (she wanted all the details of my sister's birth to compare/contrast - i just gave her the minimum i.e. it all went fine, she's up and about) so i'm dreading what she is going to have to say and react. I bite my tongue the whole time i'm with her! still that's another post!!!

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

My worst ever comment when pregnant was 'I can't believe you're having a baby, you don't seem the motherly type'. It still upsets me now and he is now 3.

I constantly got comments on how small my bump was, is he growing properly, are you sure there is one in there etc. it was very upsetting as the doctors were concerned about his growth and I had to have lots of extra scans/appts, very worrying time and could have done without every man and his dog commenting on my small bump!

I wish people would think before they speak.

Prettyinpink TBH it's a lot like a bereavement situation. People don't know what to say and resort to clichés. At least people are saying something.
Its just annoying after the 100th time when the person saying it thinks that they must be the first!

My 3 year old keeps telling me her back hurts, does that count?!

This is why I avoid saying anything other than
"Congratulations"
"Would you like some tea/cake/biscuits/food?"

About 50 people asked if it was planned. Absolutely; we thought halfway through our degrees was the PERFECT time to have a baby.

'Some people would give anything to have a baby'. I'm well aware, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't feel ready and I'm scared.

'You look really small for 28 weeks! Is there something wrong? Are you eating enough?'. Actually I'm a normal size according to midwife. Concern is appreciated but please don't make out it's my fault I have a normal-sized bump.

'When are you dropping out of uni?' I'm not. Term finishes when I'm 39 weeks. I'll be back to do my third year in September. Why, when are you dropping out of uni?

When people were making guesses on gender, the guy in my class who's a bit of a loner because he has a generally disgusting attitude towards anyone he doesn't consider as 'worthy' as him - so anyone who isn't male, English and constantly high on weed - asked, "I reckon it's a hermaphrodite. What will you do if it is, castrate it or drown it?". He was just greeted with a resounding look.

'I never thought YOU'D be the sort to have a baby at 19/in uni/outside of marriage!'. I wasn't really ever a paragon of shining virtue but I know, who'd have thought that not all teenage mums match your stereotype of being uneducated and unambitious?!

That last one annoys me more than anything because it just shows that people really do believe the stereotypes, and it's dangerous. Part of my dissertation is going to be about disproving the stereotype, and that 'It Won't Happen To Me' just doesn't work, and judgement and stigma isn't the way to combat it.

last weeks of pregnancy, if one more person asks me if I had the baby yet I swear I will do something dangerous as if I did I would have informed them !!!!!! During pregnancy some people actually made comments that morning sickness must be in my head ....as well as acid reflux issues ... I felt like punching !

That's what my mum said to me happychick!

Not a comment, but I get very annoyed by the fact that not one member of my family understands the misery that is severe PGP or that I might be miserable and grouchy because I'm tired and in pain and that a hug might help more than being left alone!

Bugoven, I can only sympathize, people are just strange some times, even your nearest and dearest

Some of these make me feel so much better about the comments I've had so far! (Only 12 weeks along.)

FIL: "Congratulations! So, how much weight have you put on already then?"

SIL's first words after being told: "How horrible. Just like in Alien."

I'm going to be so good at this deep breathing stuff by the time labour comes along...

My real bugbear with this pregnancy are comments in meetings.

Eg. I get (rightly) annoyed with someone whos taking the piss and creating obstacles for our project for no good reason. Someone (male and female have both said it) says "oh, careful, don't give birth"

Or I ask everyone (25 people in one meeting) to only have one conversation at a time and someone says "otherwise we'll wake the baby".

FFS, yes I'm pregnant, it doesn't affect my brain/skills and doesn't need mentionning all the time!

DH: 'If reading about all the stuf to do with labour upsets you, don't read it.'

Yes, because I'm sure that not knowing what the hell is happening at any given moment is going to make me feel so much better...

TwoThreeFourSix I'd be tempted to raise a grievance if they don't stop that shit, it's bang out of order.

My worst at the moment I'm nearly 10 weeks bad hg everyone telling me I need to eat! I bloody know but when you are sick after every mouthful of food or start retching before food even gets in your mouth it's pretty bloody hard! And yes I know I look shite! Please don't keep telling me!

Wow you're massive!!

There's no way you'll last till the end

It's definitely twins - DH's Gran will not give this up despite 3 scans and several heartbeat monitors...think they'd have noticed!

How does it feel to be THAT big? And you'll just keep going!

I'm all bump, I've actually lost weight and I'm measuring completely on time!!

Generally I'm ok dealing with the touching and comments but occasionally I just want to shout "FRIG OFF IM NOT FATTY!!!!!"

My mother has said all the inappropriate things to me so far. over Skype yesterday I showed her my bump (am 23 weeks) and she said 'oh you're still at the fat looking stage, you don't look pregnant yet'. Cheers ma.

When I told her I was expecting she immediately regaled me with tales of how horrendous all 5 of her births were. We then went out for lunch (was thinking about spiking her falafel with a vallium to keep her quiet) and as it started to rain I went back to get my brolly, she immediately scoffed and said 'now you're pregnant don't start thinking you can be all pathetic. Bit of rain won't kill you'.

She then proceeded to talk constantly about other subjects and as I pointed out a type of pram I liked she said 'do you realise all you've talked about is babies?'. Er, no I haven't and feel free to show a slight bit of interest at the prospect of your first grandchild I told you about an hour ago.

So any other comments wash over me quite easily when I have to compare them to the gems my mum pops out with!

I have been told I look awful newlywed followed shortly by comments about how I'm not ill.

I got it's just morning sickness get over it! Hg is more than morning sickness you cannot function you are feeling sick every second of the bloody day! You have a drink you want to be sick! You have food you want to be sick! You think of anything you want to be sick! You cannot do anything and I've lost so much weight only leggings fit me all trousers keep on falling!

And yes keeping a custard cream down yesterday was a big deal!!

I don't even get comments anymore for the last couple of weeks people have just been doing that teeth sucking thing whilst shaking their heads at me. Though people do seem to be getting impatient now I have had the audacity to go over dates how very dare I I've stopped worrying he will get here when he gets here.