Comments that annoy you

[elliejjtiny]

Currently 18+3 with DC5 and got the pregnancy rage. Just thought it might be therapeutic to share some of those annoying comments. Here are mine:

There's no way you're going to go full term (really hate this, feel like they're wishing a premature baby on me)

It would be so lovely if you have a girl this time (I don't really care)

It's definitely twins (with ds4, after 9 scans showed 1 baby)

seff I can offer you instead? Sorry!

One more, Dh today after I cried at a stretch mark, oh they are lovely part of the process. Cue expletives at him as he retreated out the back door. Now on my way to buy proper cream!

Definitely "are you pleased" noo ive just been trying for a baby for the fun of it!!
Then the same question being asked to my partner infront of me... because you know I've forced him into this and he doesn't actually want a child (idiots)

And I suppose a bit of an opposite is my partners parents not really saying anything or showing any interest even though this is their first grandchild! Slightly disappointing.

"Was it planned" because although im 22 older people act like your a 14 year old knocked up teen who doesn't know who the father is and will probably be on the jeremy kyle show in a few years :/.. grrr

lol some of these are hilarious! Cheek of some people!

Ok, my favourite one when I told my Mum I'm pregnant with our second... she said 'oh, its still early days'!

Like she's hoping for me to miscarry or something?!?

Told MIL today 'were you expecting this news'. .

(Yes) but how to answer that without passing reference on your sex life? Argh!

At work if I'm eating something that obviously isn't breakfast or lunch "are you eating again?" Which is then followed by "she's definitely eating for 2" to the other people in the office. Em I'll eat as much as I bloody want thank you, mrs "I never gain any weight no matter what I eat!!"

Rant over

This is DC4 - our oldest is seven.

I am SO over the "Nothing on the TV then?" comments. As it happens we don't watch TV much, so technically that's true, but given it took us 14 months of charting, a few chemicals, and large amounts of testing including a lap/HSG, I don't think the lack of decent telly made much difference really.

"Don't you know what causes it?" - Well, it took 14 months to work it out. I think it was the small briefcase of pills I took every day in the end.

"You must be insane" - Why, exactly? In my experience once you have two children you're already as stressed as you're going to be with child-stuff. We have the space and the finances for the four we always wanted.

"You've got your hands full" (whilst I'm dragging all three to school on crutches from SPD) - No shit. Look, it's raining too! And it gets dark at night. Or were you offering to help with something, like, perhaps offering to take my DC in occasionally given you live next door and yours go to the same school? No, thought not.

I know people mean well, really I do, but I'd never dream of saying any of the stuff in this post (or this thread) to a pregnant woman and I wish other people would just think before they speak!! There are tons of perfectly pleasant things you can say that aren't likely to cause offence!

I think the main one that annoys me at the moment is 'You'll get no sleep when he's here'. Considering I have insomnia and only get about 2-3 hours a night anyway I don't think I'll really mind having a reason to be up for a change.
Others include being asked why I'm not on Maternity leave yet, I still have 12 weeks and I've not been slowed down by being pregnant. The guy at work who tells me what I should and shouldn't be doing just because he wife didn't do them...'You shouldn't be carrying that, you're pregnant' It's an empty cardboard box!!
And yes I know nipple shields saved your wifes breasts but I don't need to be told every single day, I get it.

Anything along the lines of "In my day we never worried about..." followed by references to smoking, drinking, eating liver, giving birth in a field or whatever.

Likewise "I don't know why people make such a fuss nowadays, women have been giving birth for thousands of years".

Any kind of horror story about labour or the early weeks. I know it isn't going to be easy! Do people talk like this to someone who has heart surgery scheduled? It seems like a really weird thing to do.

Ditto the "was it planned" - such a weird question!

Im 31wk today, i get a lot of 'i cant even tell your pregnant' and 'are you sure' which annoys me. Today 2 people at work said 'oh you actually look pregnant today' that also pissed me off. I just wish people didn't feel the need to comment on my size.
Also, we have found out DC2 will be DD2 and i have had countless people ask if im disappointed! Ask me that when shes here and i will poke you in the fricken eye!!

I got a text from someone saying "enjoy being able to stay in bed while you still can". Yep, having a blast trying not to vomit and being unable to lift my head off the pillow!

My DM must have reminded me at least twice a week in my first trimester with DC2 that 'she had a very easy first pregnancy but then two miscarriages and a 6yr age gap between my sister and I, and I should prepare myself that this could happen to me...' - at least twice a week! I had to tell her to stop it in the end as I was scared she would jinx the pregnancy. Which (at 28+2 after an embarrassingly easy conception) is going as swimmingly as the first, mind.
She also keeps telling me that her second labour was barely shorter than her first and I shouldn't get my hopes up if I don't get a reduction on my 21hr stint with DS1. I keep telling her that everything I've read on here suggests for most women second labours are significantly quicker. And yes I am going to weigh up dozens and dozens of experiences with her one experience and hope for the best.

I think generally people tainting you with their ideas/ experience of pregnancy/ labour/ newborns is irritating and they don't realise how double-edged some comments can be.
'I didn't find breast feeding easy like you did' (Well actually it wasn't that easy, my nipples bled for 3 weeks)
'I don't know why you put yourself through a pain relief-free labour with all the drugs that are available these days' - you know what? I don't know either now. Maybe with my next one I'll arrive at the hospital with litre of wine and a few joints and see if that helps at all...
'Wow, you're 6 months pregnant? I can hardly tell!'
JUST WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??!!!
Because in my slightly over-emotional, sleep-deprived, heartburn riddled state at the moment I take it as:
You're starving your unborn child.
You're so fat normally you usually look 6 months pregnant.

You dress in really unflattering, badly fitting clothes.
You're lying and you're not as far along as you say.

Wow. Ok. Breathe. Didn't realise these things wound me up as much as they clearly do. Good rant over. Good thread :)

When I was pregnant with DS1 I was showing off my ultrasound picture to a group of friends when someone I didn't know butted in and told me that ultrasounds were very dangerous and I should have had an x-ray instead .

The school secretary offered her condolences when my healthy DS3 was born .

Condolences???!!! Was that supposed to be some kind of weird joke?

And they say it's pregnant women w

Who are crazy!

A (male) colleague looked at me and said "Wow. You are looking positively bovine today." Think that was the nicest. Arsehole.

Following that, when I was then pregnant again with a 15 month age gap, the usual "Gosh, was that planned????"

Im on dc4 now. But when I had ds2, I was in town a elderly lady wanders over has a look and announces "thats a shame two boys your ll learn to love him i suppose...better luck next time".

I was speechless!

Even now, dc4 is a boy (dc3 was a girl) I get comments like "are you disappointed wouldn't a girl be better? Even numbers?"

The lack of engagement between peoples brains and mouth is quite astonishing! Lol

When telling my boss i was 3 months pregnant " oh, at least it's not even a real baby yet'. then what the heck was i carrying if not a baby?.

Seriously, what were the condolences about elliejjtiny??? That's awful!!

Pretty much every well meaning bur badly thought out comment made when we told people that baby has Downs.
"Think about your other kids"
"what ll happen when you die"
and other little gems! My standard reply was "OMG! I hadn't thought of that!

'Cos we haven't spent every waking moment for weeks thinking about just those kinds of question!
And as for "we'll, you can always get rid and try again!".... don't even go there!

"you can always get rid and try again"

Even after reading all these, I'm still surprised at what shit people can come out with.

Oh this thread is just perfect for the mood I'm in today! Currently 29+6 and so tired of hearing the following...

"Once you have children you won't be bothered about/have time to put make up on, dress nicely or ever have a beauty treatment done ever again" ... oh so becoming a mother means you suddenly loose all pride in your appearance!?

"You have cream carpets in your house? Oh dear they will be a right mess in no time"

"You're house will never EVER be tidy again" ... surely there are mothers out there that manage both children and a clean house!?

I have a blood condition that causes 90%+ miscarriage untreated, but treated (with injections of well-tested drugs like clexane) women have well over 60-70% success rate.

Nevertheless, people (even those who don't know yet, and are giving me 'advice' for the future) always stick their beaks in with 'reasons' for my pre-diagnosis losses, which are usually unavoidable or would mean I was doing something 'wrong'. What makes me really is the way they ignore anything I say, nod sagely and know better than the Profs at Imperial College/St Marys. Ludicrous suggestions include:
-drinking (F off how dare they suggest I drank/drink when pregnant)
-Eating Indian food (!!!)
-Not eating/taking various herbal remedies/spices which the internet say is 'better than drugs at beating cancer' etc' (and I don't have cancer)
-Being too warm or too cold
-Having a managerial job (usually prefaced with "I'm not being sexist but...)
-The day/position of conception (TMI much? NOYB!)
-One cup of weak tea a day (well within NHS guidelines)
-Should you be injecting drugs if you're high risk (the drugs are the medicine for the high risk, idiot).

...and the old chestnut "If you're worried or stressed about miscarrying, you'll cause another miscarriage." Demonstrating a lack of empathy, common sense and medical knowledge and setting up a horrific vicious cycle of worry/guilt/worry.

...aaaaaand relax.

Sorry your and not you're... silly phone!

catpuss I'm disgusted that people have actually made those comments to you, so unthoughtful!

The condolences were because DS3 was another boy. You can imagine the comments I got when DS4 was born, another boy and disabled as well.