Older mums - what age is too old ?

[Tillyboo]

In light of the recent news about a 62 year old giving birth, I wondered what others opinions are of older mums.
62 is excessive as far as I am concerned (for lots of reasons) but at what age do the majority think it's still safe, fair, socially acceptable etc to have a baby ?
I had my dd at the age of 40 and although it's been physically tough sometimes, I don't feel there has been a lot of difference between myself and mums that are a lot younger. In fact in a lot of ways I am better off.
Obviously you have to take each person on an individual basis but would like to hear other people's general views.

Nope, MuddyMum, its not just you

MotherInferior, I know what you mean: I am half thinking I'm nuts to be doing this again, and half wishing we could have a third - not that thats going to happen. Do feel free to borrow one of mine as an antidote, anytime.....

I have no problem with 60 year olds having kids - after all if its fine for men, why not for women?!!

I had my dd at 31 - I wish I had met a great potential father in my twenties instead - and now at 38 personally feel too old for more children - but with better health, more cash and/or a better relationship would love to have more kids!

Life doesn't always turn out according to plan. I would have ideally liked to have 4 or 5 kids in my 20's and been a SAHM

i personaly think its up to the couple having the child what age to concieve, but i do also think women who have medical intervention after they have had the menopause is wrong as its natures way of saying its to late.

I however being 19 and 25 weeks pg with no2 have no idea how i will feel when i am getting older.

I used to feel like that too, but now I think it depends on what age menopause hits at...see below, my friend at 26, my sister at 40, etc.
And Nature (which I'm pretty keen on, myself) says lots of things, like 'its time to die of an infectious disease' or 'your eyesight is crap, you can't see to read' and we intervene like crazy, thank goodness. I wish it were that black and white, but the older I get the greyer life (and my hair)...

I don't mind at all. Yes, I did - and really didn't expect it to work!

And thanks for that reassuring post, Aviatrix, its good to hear someone say that a year on - lovely

Just got back in town and saw the comment about feelings towards children in the 20's and 30's. I have to say that does sum me up for the most part until about 35 or 36. I couldn't see what all the fuss was about

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I repeat what others have said more eloquently than I can manage .

I think 50ish tbh. This is sort of normal menopause age so that's probably why. I think that I would worry more about the effects that pregnancy might have on an older woman's body than anything else. Concerns about children feeling that their parents were old would be secondary to that for me.

I think that now more than ever fertility is dictated by individual circumstances and that has to be a good thing. If you are lucky enough to be able to have children when it is biologically thought to be easier then great but if not then go for it whenever you can. I feel very privileged to have conceived dd easily, at what is now a relatively young age (27),to have established myself in a career first and to feel extremely secure in my relationship with dp. I do worry that too many people have too great an expectation of how perfect their life must be before they can ttc but ultimately it is they who must make that judgement for their lives, not me. I just worry that too many people are unrealistically opimistic about their chances of conceiving in their late thirties/forties and beyond.

Beautifully eloquent, L

My mum had my sister at 38, her mum (my gran) had a son at 38 and her mum had my gran at almost 40 (and that's going back 80 years). So there's three generations of women, living in totally different circumstances who all lead totally different lives and had these babies for different reasons.

As long as someone is very healthy (past the menopuase age) and has entered into it with a great deal of thought and planning. I don't see why not. I think older mums have allot to offer in terms of life experience and finding their outlook on life and that's invaluable.

By menopause age, I mean the age by which most woman are unable to conceive naturally due to the menopause, i.e 50s.

I had children at 37,39 and 41 and dh was 46 when the last was born. I personally feel too old now but possibly because I've had three children in four years and need a break!
we also used the criteria that another person mentioned of what age we would be until they became independent e.g university. We didn't want to be passed retirement when that happened.

Interestingly there was an article in The Times at the weekend that women who have children later (naturally I presume) live much longer. My gran had my dad at 40 and lived to 100. It's not having children that makes you live longer (we all know that can't be true ), but that if you can conceive then you're body is ageing more slowly. The article was written by our old friend Aloha I believe.

I know I would certainly have been a different mother in my 20's, much less confident and with a different world view to pass on to my children.

your body -

I had DD at 36 and will be having number 2 when I am 38. Hoping to go on and have number 3 if all goes well.
My sister's friend's mother started having kids at 37 and went on to have 6 girls!
I think I am enjoying motherhood so much more now than I would have in my 20's, but do feel a bit creaky at times!

Wow, six - at any age, hats off, but from late 30s on? Respect! Two will be plenty for me!
Hmm, have heard that about living longer if late onset menopause, but in my family...not sure it holds true. My grandmother is currently fighting fit at nearly 100 (had her kids early, and was in mp by 50) and my other grandmother died at 96 after menopause in her 40s. My sister was in full menopaus by 40. Hoping for the genetic factor to count more than the fertility factor, in my case - because I had to have help due to early onset menopause (and immune issues).

Just thought, apropos of nothing at all: my sister's best friend thought she was in menopause, then had twins at 49 (naturally) shortly after marrying a much younger man: coinicidence?

And I feel creaky too, and expect to feel creakier once dd2 is born. But I am a lot calmer and happier than in my 20s, and a lot healthier than in my 30s....I'm sure the dds will have something to say about having creaky parents, but hopefully some of it will be positive....

I'm an older mum by choice - in that dh and I really didn't fancy having children until I got to 36, then spent a little while thinking abuot it so i was 38 when dd1 was born, 40 for dd2. I find the whole older parent debate annoying as there's almost always an implication that it's something that needs to be justified - as if being 10 or 15 years younger would automatically make you a better candidate for the job. I think if there's any debate to be had about who should and shouldn't have children, it should be about quality not age. There are people of all ages doing an excellent job as parents and - unfortunately - others of all ages who are doing a crap job. Why not say that someone is too lazy/impatient/self-centred or downright unpleasant to become a parent than question whether they're too old?

Oh absolutely,Jodiesmum

Aviatrix - no twins or triplets!