Telling the family on xmas day.... how are you doing it??

[dontsqueezetheteabag]

PG with baby #1 - will be 8 weeks on xmas day and DH and I are going away with friends over new year. I will not be able to hide the fact that I am PG from our friends while we are away so I need to tell our family on xmas day.

I have made up picture frames with a picture of a stock and a line underneath saying "Baby ..., due August 2014". I am going to wrap them and give on to each family couple after they have opened their other pressies on xmas day.

If you are planning on telling your family on xmas day how are you doing it??

I need hand holding until then so I keep my mouth shut!!!!

Congratulations! We did the same 9 years ago! I remember that feeling of bursting with excitement all morning waiting to tell everyone.

I had a plan to put the scan photo in a Christmas card - didn't quite go to plan and I ended up telling them earlier for various reasons - I assume you won't have had a scan yet? Your idea sounds lovely

Scan not til 28th January which feels like aaaaaages away!! Too much on in between now and then to hide it so might as well come clean!

Can't blooming wait!

Are you absolutely sure that no-one in the family is dealing with primary or secondary infertility?

My sister gave us embroidered Christmas ornaments that said 'World's Greatest Aunt' and so on. I still have mine, more than thirty years later. It was a great moment.

Auntiestella... I don't understand your question? It's for my dad, his partner, my in laws and my sister in law who already has 2 kids.

Ahh sounds lovely.

I can't wait that long (11w tomorrow) but following our scan earlier this week we are wrapping a "how to muddle your way through being a grandparent" book and a "savvy auntie" book for the PIL and SIL to tell them this weekend! I can't wait! Will do the same with my dad who I'll see next weekend!

I asked because in your first post you did not specify the who's who in your family, and it is easy (in excitement) to overlook the impact of a big announcement on a memorable date upon those who might be having difficulty in conceiving (whether their first or umpteenth) or have recently miscarried or whatever.

I never considered a big announcement because of the circumstances I knew of one family member. And I don't think I'd ever be sure enough of the up to date reproductive hopes of other people.

AuntieStella makes a good point. I'm 20 weeks and haven't really 'announced' it yet, so some of my friends are going to have a shock when they see me at Christmas. Your idea sounds lovely though! My sister told us about her pregnancy when we were playing pictionary. She drew her family and a stork bringing another baby...it was quite funny, because people were guessing for ages...

i wouldn't be able to do that 'cos I would be too emotional.

But If its right in your family circumstances then go for it !

We do have very close friends undergoing IVF at the moment but we will not be keeping it under wraps as if they knew we had done that to spare their feelings they would be annoyed.

I want to do it in a way that my family will remember.

So many people these days having fertility issues some are vocal about it some keep it to themselves. You never know.

However id like to think that all out family and friends no matter what their situation would be happy to hear that we are having a baby. Surely?

I think AuntieStella is obviously very considerate, but really, not announcing a pregnancy because one is not up to date with the reproductive hopes of people?
You can't pretend it isn't happening and I don't think you should underplay your own joy in case it might offend.
Congratulations to you.

we tried TTC for 3.5 years and finally conceived via our 3rd attempt at IVF. As hard as it can be hearing people's news I would hate to think people felt that they couldn't share their exciting news for fear of upsetting me, that would have just made me feel worse to be honest.

Sounds like a lovely idea OP

I think what auntiestella is trying to say is that you need to be careful when sharing news on such a memorable day- what makes your Xmas fantastic could ruin someone else's; people with fertility problems often need time to come to terms with other people's pregnancy and baby announcements, no matter how happy they should be for you...

Having said that, your idea sounds lovely, and if you're sure that no one is going through anything like that, then I would go ahead and enjoy every moment of it, it will make for a lovely and exciting Christmas :)

Can I just double check that you are happy with all these family members knowing if things don't go to plan with the pregnancy? 8 weeks is still very early?

If you are then obviously go ahead. I'm personally not one for big announcements, but I know some are. But I think it's something to bear in mind. I didn't mind if people guessed earlier, but I didn't want to have to deal with the sympathy and questions if there were problems from anyone other than my parents. This time we didn't even tell them until well past 12 weeks.

I'd also say be prepared that the main people this is massive news for is the prospective grandparents. Others will be happy, but possibly not in a 'wow, this has made my Christmas' kind of way IYSWIM. I only mention that because I've heard various people who made big announcements then be unhappy/upset by the response.

Congratulations

I think the op is only spending Christmas with inaws, parents and sister. I would not say this is being made a "big" announcement.

I'm also not a fan of "big" announcements, but am looking forward to telling the grandparents in a memorable way. I don't think this is making a big deal out of it, but actually for me and DH is easier than having to the say "we're pregnant" out loud which would actually be harder for us - how would we even start that conversation? Having something to unwrap is the ice breaker for the conversation! Great idea!

I think it is a lovely idea but are you sure you want to tell them so early? Of course everything will more than likely be fine - but if it wasn't - would it matter to you that you'd made a big announcement? I think that's worth considering (hope am not being too depressing and like I say, more likely to be fine :))

Watching with interest as this is my plan too, I will be 12 weeks on christmas eve which we are spending with my family. (Then Christmas day with MIL and New years with FIL)
We are planning to tell them all on those days we are staying with them
This will be a huge surprise for them as we have had IVF treatment in secret, though they all knew we couldn't conceive naturally after 4 years TTC.

I think AuntieStella is being considerate in what she says, however looking at it from the other point of view (i.e. me - the infertile one) someone else announcing their good news would not have bothered me at all, in fact I would have loved some lovely family news like that when we were all together.
A couple of friends were very wary about telling me they were pregnant and the fact they felt they couldn't tell me hurt me more than the news.
Yes, I am jealous if someone else gets pregnant easily and has a healthy baby, and of course I wish it was me, but it doesn't stop me being happy for others. It's no different to me than being envious of someone else's lifestyle, figure, haircut etc.

Anyway, I too am looking for ideas to announce (we will have scan pics by that point as we already have an 8 week one from the IVF clinic and we are paying for a private scan at 11.4 weeks (My NHS 12 week is not until 27th Dec.)
Idea that have been suggested so far are scan pic in card or frame which they all have to open at the same time.
Grandma, Auntie gifts etc
Personalised calendar with relevant family photos in each month with scan pic for July (due month) and due date circled.
My current favourite idea is to take a group photo of everyone, so I will be behind the camera, and announce or hold up scan pics just as I take the photo to capture everyone's shocked faces!

Still not 100% though - for my side of the family I want to do a big surprise and I don't care how cheesy it is, they will love it!
I had a bit of a thought about somehow incorporating it into a board game pass the parcel type thing but not sure how that would work.

Any other ideas welcome!
Congratulations don't squeeze!

What a lovely idea. I think it's fine to do that - if you don't know of any family having fertility problems then how can you be expected to spare any feelings. Of course it's different if you knew. I have had a miscarriage previously and certainly wouldn't have expected my close family & friends to to not tell me in case they hurt my feelings.
I am in a similar situation, will be almost 10 weeks as Christmas and ordinarily (when I was pregnant with my 2 year-old) I would prefer to wait until after the 12 week scan but trying to enjoy spending Christmas with your closest family and not being able to tell them your exciting news is not an option (especially if you are refusing all those glasses of sherry and Bailey's!). Enjoy.

Merry - saying 'I'm pregnant!' instead of 'say cheese!' is a fab idea. Congratulations.

God Filthyanimal do not under any circumstances do a calendar with the due date circled. Believe me, if you go over, you will have enough trouble fending off stupid questions without your whole family having the date looking at them every time they pass the calendar

Can you tell I've gone over twice?

Congratulations on your pregnancy though.

I totally agree with this

Last year I was 10 weeks pregnant when we visit PIL just before Christmas. My own parents already knew (my mum knew before I did). We wanted to tell them, and SIL, who was also PG and over from Australia for Christmas, in person, even though I'd otherwise have waited until after the scan. We didn't do anything special, I just casually dropped it into the conversation when we were talking about plans for BIL's wedding in the summer. It took a few seconds for them to realise what I'd said.

I totally agree with AuntieStella