Telling the family on xmas day.... how are you doing it??

[dontsqueezetheteabag]

PG with baby #1 - will be 8 weeks on xmas day and DH and I are going away with friends over new year. I will not be able to hide the fact that I am PG from our friends while we are away so I need to tell our family on xmas day.

I have made up picture frames with a picture of a stock and a line underneath saying "Baby ..., due August 2014". I am going to wrap them and give on to each family couple after they have opened their other pressies on xmas day.

If you are planning on telling your family on xmas day how are you doing it??

I need hand holding until then so I keep my mouth shut!!!!

I agree. I have never had a miscarriage but I certainly don't think those who are talking about it are being miseries or cruel or any of the other words that have been banded about. They are just sharing their own experiences and urging caution. I have urged caution myself and like I said, I haven't even had to go through such a tragedy but still see the reasoning behind waiting - including reasons surrounding the 12 week scan and potential issues that can bring up too.

There is no reason to think anything will go wrong with the OP's pregnancy but there is no reason to assume everything will go perfectly either - hence why some people has suggested an early scan to make sure everything is at it should be before making such an early announcement.

I don't think anyone has said anything offensive, just being realistic and offering different opinions and things for the OP to consider.

I announced my pregnancy to my parents on a pre-Christmas visit. I was in the very earliest stages and was in my mid/late 30s. The baby would be my parents first grandchild.

It was - predictably farcical. Firstly there was trying to get my OCD mother to sit down so everybody would actually be able to hear the news. Then there was my father with his complete ability to engage on an emotional level with anything or anyone.

When after about ten minutes of saying yes, we really did need them both to sit down in the same room at the same time, I finally broke the news. There was a pause.

This silence was broken by my father. He asked, 'Did you have to provide a urine sample...?'

I actually found telling the grandparents quite an anti-climax.

I think my dad was the most excited - but my mom and DH's parents were quite casual about the whole thing I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

Wow op. You've had a hard time here! I'll only be six weeks on Christmas day but intend to tell my family then. I've ordered a tshirt that says "I'm the big brother" and am going to wrap it for ds but give it to my parents to open. Like you say, they will work it out when I'm not drinking anyway and if I do miscarry then I know from experience that I will want them to know. Also like you, I know the close family around the table very well and know there's no one else ttc. I've done the crying in the loo at announcements thing and sympathise with anyone who's been in that situation, but you've clearly considered that and decided it's not a problem for your guests. Enjoy your day. Congratulations

Truth - Is your DS young enough not to really understand what is going on? I assume so? It is very hard for young children to process if something goes wrong with a pregnancy, which is why a lot of people wait to tell them. If he's 18 months or whatever then obviously I understand he won't really take it in. With my 4.5 year old, we have deliberately waited until after the 20 week scan, though the 2 year old was at all the earlier appointments and oblivious!

Good point pengiuns. He's two. I don't think he knows what a brother is so don't think he'll understand, but I hadn't planned on telling him until I really had to and he does sometimes understand things i don't expect him to. Hmm. I'll give it some thought. Thank you.

I had my scan on 21st Dec. last year and put my scan photo on facebook saying "Baby all I want for Christmas is youuuu! Or maybe I can wait until July.. ;)"

Family already knew!

Truth - On a more positive note, I speak from experience when I say that once a two year old does process that they are having a sibling, they will ask approximately every two days whether the baby is coming yet or not. I think with DD1 this resulted in me answering that question quite frequently from about 7 months onwards. Does start to grate, so if you can postpone that bit it's probably best for everyone's sanity

Sorry, that should say with DD2 (obviously answering the question to DD1)

New plan: will give tshirt to parents while ds is napping amd keep it from him until he asks why I'm hiding a melon up my top

Good plan! Enjoy the moment. x

I'll be 10 weeks on Xmas day with dc2. Ordinarily we'd wait til after the scan (no date for it yet but i imagine it'll be 1st or 2nd week of jan) and not do a giant announcement. BUT - we're having both sets of my parents over on Xmas day (they're divorced/remarried) as well as PIL ad my brother. There's no way in the world I could get away with not drinking and we figure it'll be nice to tell them all at once. DH is going to wait til we're all sat at the table and raise a toast and mention it then.

I think it will be lovely and a good way to break down any awkwardness of the whole dysfunctional family aspect (PIL find it odd that both sets of my parents get on ok).

One of my best friends has just started ivf and out of the 5 of us who are "BFF"s (lame phrase but sums us up!!!) I'll be the third to announce a pregnancy in as many months so am planning to tell them individually - if we end up planning a get together I'll tell them before my scan (again the no drinking will be a huge red flag), or will wait til after my scan if we can't all get together but will still be discreet for my ivf friend as she's finding it all v hard to deal with and I think another close friend announcement will be hard for her.

Good luck op, your plan sounds lovely!

As said Op, just be aware that anyone you tell about your pregnancy are the same people you would want to know if, god forbid, the pregnancy doesn't proceed as hoped. Since suffering 3 miscarriages myself at 9, 10 and 12 weeks all around Easter time, and my dear SIL announcing her pregnancy by the gift of a picture within an chocolate egg! i would just be aware that your news may be opening old wounds.

All said though if you are secure in your families reaction and that sort of thing floats your boat, go for it.

OP seems to have vanished. Poor thing.

I remember DMIL getting upset one Christmas because she had decided that as I wasn't drinking I must be pregnant. I wasn't. She seemed really sad about it having waited a very long time for GC's

I have just joined this site after finding this link. You are exactly in the same boat as me. We will be 9 weeks on xmas day, first child, first grandchild. We are going away with friends for a week on the 27th, we will have to tell them as its a skiing holiday, I cant ski or drink so we do have to tell them.

We have already bought frames and with some bits n bobs added- I (heart) Nanna & Papa, Auntie etc plus a cute wee teddy bear. Not decided what will go in as a pic yet but eventually it will be the scan (fingers crossed)

We would have waited for 12 weeks otherwise however I think telling our nearest and dearest is fine no matter what happens. Immediate family on xmas day and the close friends on our holiday will be the only people to know until the scan.

We have been ttc from the start of the year however I have ended up in and out of hospital after finding two large dermoid cysts on my ovaries. After a successful op in July we were given the all clear to try and got lucky on month 3! Nobody in our families has any idea as far as we know so cannot wait to see their face.

Congratulations and thanks for posting, got me sooooo excited now x

Smith- You might want to be careful of that user name. If it means what I think it means, if any of the people you plan on telling on Christmas day is on MN then you may have just let the cat out of the bag early! Congratulations on your pregnancy.