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Original poster

Telling the family on xmas day.... how are you doing it??

141 replies

dontsqueezetheteabag · 13/12/2013 10:17

PG with baby #1 - will be 8 weeks on xmas day and DH and I are going away with friends over new year. I will not be able to hide the fact that I am PG from our friends while we are away so I need to tell our family on xmas day.

I have made up picture frames with a picture of a stock and a line underneath saying "Baby ..., due August 2014". I am going to wrap them and give on to each family couple after they have opened their other pressies on xmas day.

If you are planning on telling your family on xmas day how are you doing it??

I need hand holding until then so I keep my mouth shut!!!!

OP posts:
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MiracleOntheM4 · 14/12/2013 11:56

voices of doom? ie. those who have experienced the very real experience of pregnancy loss. Nice.

brighthouse · 14/12/2013 12:10

Op go with the idea you planned it sounds great, I am sure all your family will be overjoyed for you. Have a great Christmas and new year knowing that you will have a lovely baby in August.

mssleepyhead · 14/12/2013 12:19

I've just found out I'm pregnant and will be spending New Year with my I laws in Spain. Not telling them isn't really an option: they'll be feeding us steak, chocolate mousse and champagne whilst we're there! So I think we'll have to tell them. Thinking of giving my parents and them a positive digital pregnancy stick, so they'll see how early it is too and understand how nervous we are!

Mattissy · 14/12/2013 12:24

Miracle... They're predicting or suggesting the possibility of the same for the op, I find that horrible tbh.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 14/12/2013 12:32

Of course there is a possibility of the same for the OP. Have you invented some cure for all mc that we don't know about? No-one hear is wishing it on the OP, now that would be a horrible thing to suggest. But blythely assuming there is zero per cent chance of anything going wrong isn't really a kindness either.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 14/12/2013 12:34

Of course there is a possibility of the same for the OP. Have you invented some cure for all mc that we don't know about? No-one hear is wishing it on the OP, now that would be a horrible thing to suggest. But blythely assuming there is zero per cent chance of anything going wrong isn't really a kindness either. Mostly people have brought it up wrt the possibility of those around her having experiences that make it hard to keep a brave face on when hearing the good news of others.

BobaFettTheHalls · 14/12/2013 12:41

Are you hosting OP?
Last year I was 6wk pg at Christmas and we told them before as PIL were hosting and MIL was going on about buying me pate, steak and making all the lovely things you can't eat when pg so pre-warning them saved her wasting her money.

Congratulations,

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 14/12/2013 12:42

Mssleepy - You really want to hand them something you have peed on?

Matissy - No one is predicting or suggesting miscarriage for the OP. What they are trying to say, in most cases quite gently, is that she's only going to be 8 weeks and without having seen a heartbeat there is, what, roughly a one in four chance things might go wrong (or might do before Christmas). That's the kind of statistic you want to take into account in decision making, that's all. I am a normal, healthy woman who started my family in my late 20s. I have had five pregnancies, two ending in miscarriage. One at 8 weeks and one around 6. I am, medically, utterly unremarkable.

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 14/12/2013 12:43

Sorry MsSleepy- I was going to add, maybe a photo of you with it would be the same effect but a bit less, well, wee covered Grin

greentshirt · 14/12/2013 13:55

We had to tell my in laws at 6w because we were going away with them for the weekend and are all big drinkers! It was my MILs bday so we filled a box with pink and blue helium balloons with a scan pic attached to the bottom and wrapped the box so when she opened it they all came floating out.

It was a brilliant moment, she was so happy! She's been waiting for ages to become a grandparent so it wasn't me me me as some have suggested, it was the best birthday present she could have wanted!

I see where people are coming from re scans and miscarriage risk etc but totally understand your reasoning behind needing to tell them as you will get rumbled by your friends the following week anyway. In an ideal world you would wait but circumstances mean you can't so enjoy it!!

Mattissy · 14/12/2013 15:32

These people are close family, she wants to share her news, she obviously feels comfortable enough with them to tell them a little earlier than 12 weeks. Let's save it, many many people do. I told my do and pil before 12 weeks but no one else.

The op is exited to share her news with the people she loves and asked how other people announced. I think coming on and talking mc is not nice.

Does that make me unsympathetic to people who have mc, erm, no!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 14/12/2013 15:34

I told my family on Christmas day. Or rather they worked it out for themselves, because I kept turning down offers of gin.

mssleepyhead · 14/12/2013 15:46

penguin I was going to put it in a sandwich bag...! Funny how the more tests you take the less you worry about a bit of wee though... Maybe they'd find it a little gross... But then, if it's a fancy one it'll come with a cap so I hope it would be ok. I might also supply hand sanitiser!

Writerwannabe83 · 14/12/2013 15:49

Just remember the batteries only last about 24 hours in the digital tests so make sure you time your wee right Grin They might get confused if they open their present to find a blank test.....they may think you want everyone to pee on one as part of a new Christmas Party game... Xmas Grin

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 14/12/2013 19:09

Hhhmmm, personally, even in a jiffy bag I wouldn't want to touch anyone else's pregnancy test. And I am in the middle of potty training and so dealing with a lot of wee soaked clothing! Maybe I'm just squeamish though. I guess you know best whether it will be a lovely announcement or "eeew" as they drop it and wipe their hands! Grin

hackneybird · 14/12/2013 20:35

Congratulations OP. Totally understand your reasons for sharing in early pregnancy.

I'm also pregnant (15 weeks) but we have told families over the phone already as we couldn't wait til Xmas, and we are not 'big announcement' sort of people.

I can see why others are urging caution (I've actually been down the Xmas announcement followed by disappointment road), but if you're comfortable with everyone knowing then why the hell not.

I totally disagree its making everything about you - for a lot of people Christmas is about FAMILY and the prospect of a new addition to the family is just lovely news.

Sorry you're a bit hurt at how 'rude' some people are being. However, this is mumsnet and if you're going to post, you have to be prepared for a lot of opinions in response!

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 14/12/2013 20:44

Really wouldn't advise messing with a digital test on Christmas Eve, if it's the clearblue "how many weeks" type - if it doesn't show what you are expecting you will spend christmas day on tenterhooks, in another country to boot! Go with a regular test if at all Smile

twinklestar2 · 14/12/2013 20:58

I've told my family already by buying them special uncle, gran, etc, cards, as I won't see them on Xmas day and I wanted to tell my mum before we saw OHs mum on Xmas day, it was lovely!

Congrats OP, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

I actually find it really, really strange that people tell strangers on the internet they're pregnant before they're own family!!

mummybears1 · 14/12/2013 21:04

Congratulations… what a bunch of miserable comments from some people. Agreed that when you post you ask for opinions but OP does not deserve negative spouts about miscarriage. She is obviously excited and wanting to make telling people a nice memory, what better way to do this than at the time of year centered around family. Even if family members are struggling to conceive, it should never mean that someone can't share their news their way. I was trying for some time and my SIL announced (even though she knew) and I wouldn't dream of not being happy for her!!

I myself am not a big annoucement person either but I wanted to film my MIL and Mums reaction as I knew they would be great to watch back. Its your news and you should do it your way… No method should be criticized as its how the mum / dad want to do it.

Good luck and christmas day will be a special memory for you now xx

Mabelandrose · 14/12/2013 21:21

I think it's a lovely idea however having experienced mmc I would be cautious making a 'big' deal out of it so early.

I still agree that a lot of people will guess over the festive period, but might be easier to suggest you have an exciting secret, but it's yet to be confirmed, hint hint. Maybe I'm biased to be more negative but I really would take it step by step.

Congratulations by the way!

greentshirt · 14/12/2013 21:41

How is not drinking with an exciting secret yet to be confirmed hint hint really any different to telling people you are pregnant?! They will all know anyway then put their foot in it when they think they have missed the inevitable announcement if something does go wrong!

Writerwannabe83 · 14/12/2013 22:00

In order to avoid the alcohol issues when I was in the early stages I just told people that me and my DH were trying for a baby and my doctors advice was that I cut out alcohol in order to increase the chance of conception. Nobody questioned it and nobody suspected that I was actually already pregnant. In fact it made my announcement more fun when we hit the 12 week stage as they all laughed that I'd already been pregnant when spinning my lies.....

Mabelandrose · 14/12/2013 22:13

Because there is a difference between a big official announcement and a subtle hint to prevent too many questions early on.

Yes, most close friends will probably guess, but anyone with a little bit of understanding and sensitivity will probably just quietly acknowledge it and wait for the official news following a scan.

Good luck op and I hope it goes well for you x

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 15/12/2013 09:57

negative spouts about miscarriage posters have talked about regretting their announcements due to subsequently miscarrying. which is very pertinent to this thread.

i find your words offensive and i haven't even suffered a miscarriage.

PenguinsDontEatStollen · 15/12/2013 10:28

I have had two miscarriages. I don't find it offensive. But I do find it naïve to think that people saying "As well as thinking how you will feel if this is all great, do think if it would make a difficult situation harder if the worst happened" is a just a bunch of people being miseries and raining on someone's parade.

I actually think that this has moved beyond the OP, who has confirmed that she has thought about these things and is still happy with her plan. Great. I wish her the very, very best. I hope that they have a marvellous, marvellous Christmas and that her pregnancy goes well.

But I don't think I'm a misery for ensuring that, for her personal situation and attitude, we haven't egged her on whilst she made things worse for herself if things don't pan out.