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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

An Idiots guide to babies...

104 replies

BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 17:53

Can I ask some probably very stupid questions please? My first baby is due in February and I've been wondering about the following things, but I am too embarrassed to ask anyone in real life as I feel I should just know these things.......

Formula feeding - does anyone know what milk they use in hospitals. If I use something different when I get home will it upset my baby's tummy?

How soon after baby is born do you give their first bottle? Is it straightaway?

Do they bath the baby in hospital?

How often do newborns need their nappy changed, and when do you do it - before or after a feed?

Thanks in advance.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsOakenshield · 29/10/2013 09:01

skipped the last few posts but unless you are walking home you must have a proper infant car seat, many hospitals insists you bring it into the hospital on discharge day so they can see the baby being put into it.

Whilst I was in hospital (5 days) we just had DD in a vest as it was so hot, but had sleepsuit, cardies and snowsuit for going home as it was, in fact, snowing.

Moses basket - around 3 months.

Baths - DD wasn't bathed until we got home but I did top and tail her - face/bottom with warm water and lots of cotton wool - important to keep their eyes clear. We didn't bath her much to begin with as she had eczema and baths are actually rather drying for babies skin. No soap or anything like that as that's even more drying.

in my hospital they made you do all the nappy changes from the off which felt rather hard-hearted at the time but was fine really. I'd practiced on my niece!

Grumblelion · 29/10/2013 09:05

I'm shocked reading how little basic help people were given at some hospitals. I was so embarrassed asking the HCA on the ward how to put the nappy on DD - hubby did the first one while I was having my stitches (but sadly AFTER she had pooed all over me doing initial skin to skin!). They were quite happy to show me for the first one and it seemed like every MW who came on shift wanted to check the breastfeeding technique - which actually caused more stress as they all told me to do it differently!

DD was out of her Moses basket at 4.5months when she outgrew it - if you haven't got one yet try second hand/eBay. They're really useful but definitely not worth the money new for the amount of use you get out of them.

Evelynevening · 29/10/2013 09:32

I look back in shock at how little I was prepared for a newborn. And I had read baby books, attended breastfeeding classes etc.

It was just in the post-labour, sleep deprived haze I forgot so much basic care and I just was too fuzzy to ask for help, I didn't even think of it.

I do think midwives/care assistants should be a bit more interested in checking on newborns and their mothers.

I had no visitors, was by myself for most of the day and night (dh visited when he could). And I forgot to feed my ds for the first several hours (i didn't realise you had to wake them and he was sleeping soundly). Im not exactly sure exactly sure how long he went without a feed at least 7 hours :( )

I remember 'remembering' he needed to be fed as I overheard the midwife telling the woman in the next bed that babies needed to be fed very 4 hours!

So I then tried to keep to those timings, although I was breastfeeding so should have been feeding him more more than that.

I am so ashamed remembering this, but also cross that nobody thought to check on us as I obviously was in no fit state to care for him myself :(

Fortunately we both survived, somehow we were discharged and we managed to muddle through at home together. So I think most healthy newborns are quite resilient.

Also I disagree about the mother intuition as well. It didn't come naturally to me at all. I felt very awkward and unsure of everything. Thank goodness for the Internet!

Original poster

BatPenguin · 29/10/2013 10:00

Aww Evelyn don't be ashamed! Look up thread, there are a few of us who have had to ask the most basic questions!

So if a baby hasn't woken for a feed we are supposed to wake them up and feed them? Does this mean I should set an alarm during the night in case he doesn't wake himself....

OP posts:

Original poster

BatPenguin · 29/10/2013 10:12

I didn't know that about snow suits. We have got a blanket to keep in the car so will use that when he's in the car seat.

GreenSunrise wow sounds like you had some great midwives at your hospital. My friend had her baby in my local hospital a year ago and she said they kept trying to push her to breast feed and giving her leaflets when she said she was going to FF. I'm normally quite outspoken but don't know what I'll be like when I've just given birth.

Julietee yay another clueless Feb mum to be!

For those looking to get nappies ready, I was in boots yesterday and they have them on 3 for 2 - I got 3 packs of Pampers size 1 for £6. And these ones have the wetness indicator for the uninitiated like myself!

OP posts:

Evelynevening · 29/10/2013 10:20

batpenguin I am the last person who should give advice lol! But I would write down feed times during the day (if your bottle feeding how much/ breastfeeding how long etc) and double check with the midwife before you go to bed that night.

Maybe download an app to help you. Remember that you don't know how you well you will be feeling/functioning after the birth so try and educate your dh about newborn care so he can help 'remind' you. I think that is where I went wrong.

I think my ds was a particularly sleepy baby for the first few days, so I should have been waking and feeding him a lot more than I did, particularly during the day, but I didn't know!

LittlePoot · 29/10/2013 10:29

Laughingeyes - your checklist post is so helpful! I wish someone had told me all of that before I had my first. The thing I found hardest was getting different advice from every mw/hv/book/'helpful' visitor. Now looking back I can see that the reason from all the different advice is that there are different ways of doing things and not one right choice. There are some key Department of Health type guidelines which I don't think you should ignore, like sleeping on their backs to start with and not overheating them. But I obsessed about the temperature thing and found it really stressful - until I realised the guidelines were particularly zealous and the odd degree here or there was not the difference between life or death.

Bithurt · 29/10/2013 10:30

When I had my ds last year, I was so sound asleep that I didn't hear him crying and the next thing I knew I had a really snooty support working pretty much giving me a telling off as he'd been wet but I wouldn't wake up even when she was trying to. She'd taken him away, changed his nappy and vest then put him back in the cot with the wet sheet so I had to do it again!

I got asked if I wanted to bath him at the hospital and if I wanted them to do it to show me or for me to do it. Also asked if they were happy for shampoo to be used.

They had their own formula bottles there.

Original poster

BatPenguin · 29/10/2013 17:22

Ok so I will remember all this advice along with not dropping the baby on his head and I should be ok.

OP posts:

Chocolateteabag · 29/10/2013 23:02

Hi all, great advice given on here. Just wanted to add that I found Lucy Atkins book "First time parent" really useful as it covered the first couple of days post birth really well. I borrowed it from the library bu have since given copies to friends as baby shower gifts and had good comments back from them too.

Also remember you will have MW home visits in the first few days - don't be shy in asking their advice while they are there.

I would also be careful re snow suits - they are great if you are outside for long periods (walks, watching sport) but if you are in and out of shops say - you would be better off with blankets that you can easily wrap/unwrap to regulate temperature.

brettgirl2 · 30/10/2013 07:21

I doubt that you will need an alarm on the postnatal ward

alteredimages · 30/10/2013 08:29

I feel the same as you OP and this is my second. DD is only 3 but I've already forgotten everything, and not convinced I was doing it right the first time!

I gave birth abroad where there is no support for how to take care of babies and medical surveillance is just basic immunisations and jaundice tests. They assume family will teach you how to feed, but I was clueless and DM and MIL had totally forgotten. Ask for help, and anyone planning to bf definitely look up local support groups before the birth because it's rubbish not knowing if you're doing it right.

To my eternal shame, my DD wasn't feeding and I didn't notice for three weeks. I thought because she was peeing lots she was fine, but they need to poo lots too! I also knew that babies lose weight in the first week or so, but at three weeks DD had lost almost 20% of her body weight. She was spending lots of time on the breast and sleeping after feeds so what I took for her being full was actually exhaustion. I was feeding her almost 24 hours a day but nothing was getting in. Luckily DH's cousin staged an intervention with a bottle of formula because I had clearly gone a bit mad from sleep deprivation and had no idea what I was doing. After three more weeks of bottle feeding DD finally learned how to latch.

My case was extreme, but what I'm trying to say is don't let people tell you they're feeding fine when you know something is up, bf does not usually come automatically but is definitely worth the initial struggle, and at least in my experience topping up with formula does not mean you won't be able to bf provided you keep offering the breast. I finally weaned DD with difficulty at 2 and she'd still have a go now if I let her. This time I will definitely attend bf support groups to keep me sane and to make sure baby feeds well.

I'm still not sure what the difference is between a babygro and a sleepsuit.

Mumof3xx · 30/10/2013 08:33

I think babygros and sleepsuits are the same thing tbh?

alteredimages · 30/10/2013 08:56

I think they must be, but the names really are confusing. I remember with my little brothers mum had nappies, vests, babygros, cardigans and blankets. Also bootees and hats for outside, and muslin towels for burping and wiping up sick. Anything else is beyond me!

moobaloo · 30/10/2013 10:25

So hang on.. you have to wake them up to feed them?? Is it likely that they sleep for longer than a couple of hours? How long do you let them sleep between feeds before waking them, 3 hours? 2? 4?

at what point do you stop doing this and just feed when they wake up?

aahh. I'm due in May and am clueless!!!

Great thread though learned loads already!

MunchkinJess · 30/10/2013 11:08

my newborn who is only 20 days old slept nearly 6 hours straight through the other night. I was so worried I woke up at like 3am all confused I hadn't been woken up. I woke her up changed her and fed her...im still trying to work it all out ! Last night she was up every couple of hours

Bumpsadaisie · 30/10/2013 16:26

moo some babies will sleep for 4 hours and more esp when very little. If bfing I would try and not let them go much more than three - four hours (as you are trying to get a good supply established). Tempting to let them sleep on though, ha ha!

Bumpsadaisie · 30/10/2013 16:34

I only just realised that about envelope necks on body suits and pulling them down! Which is a shame as my youngest is now two and has just moved on to big boy vests.

All those nightmare pooey bodysuit nappy changes could have been so much easier had I known!

Original poster

BatPenguin · 30/10/2013 17:13

Haha if my baby slept for 6 hours straight my initial reaction would be 'excellent, clever baby' Ahem.....

OP posts:

thistlelicker · 30/10/2013 17:34

I'm appalled by the level of care that some of u have received! In the hospital where I plan on having dc1, I know for a fact the midwives/hca support with

Bath demos to first time parents
Assist ans teach breast feeding this includes hand expressing! if your not happy you are not discharged
We help ff babies if mum isn't able to(it's a part of the btec/nvq that's required to be undertaken in this job)
The hca also have training to take blood, perform clinical observations/support ladies with personal care.

As well as all the same day to day jobs of a ward ie cleaning, bed changes, mattress audits, clerical work, giving out meals.

MunchkinJess · 30/10/2013 17:35

judging by last night's antics I think the 6 hour sleep was a one off lol

thistlelicker · 30/10/2013 17:38

Also the hospital where I'm having baby don't provide formula milk, you have to take your own! They say it doesn't matter which brand none are better than the other it's personal choice!! I think it's fair enough to provide your own milk, why should the hospital do it, they aren't going to fund it at home so why should they at the beginning.

ginmakesitallok · 30/10/2013 17:43

Dd1 will be 10 next week. I had her at 10.04 at night. Everything went well, she fed well throughout the night etc. in the morning after breakfast the mw came to see how we were getting on and asked "how many nappies did she go through?" ......... "Was I meant to change her?????!!!" Was my response. They just don't tell you these things! :)

Original poster

BatPenguin · 30/10/2013 17:43

thistle I would expect hospitals to provide formula as they provide food/drink for all other 'patients' during hospital stays. But i will go prepared anyway. Yes I thought all formulas were basically the same, so why is there so much choice? Arghhh

OP posts:

thistlelicker · 30/10/2013 17:45

The food at that hospital is a lot to be desired, I've already been an inpatient so I know to take my own

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