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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

An Idiots guide to babies...

104 replies

BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 17:53

Can I ask some probably very stupid questions please? My first baby is due in February and I've been wondering about the following things, but I am too embarrassed to ask anyone in real life as I feel I should just know these things.......

Formula feeding - does anyone know what milk they use in hospitals. If I use something different when I get home will it upset my baby's tummy?

How soon after baby is born do you give their first bottle? Is it straightaway?

Do they bath the baby in hospital?

How often do newborns need their nappy changed, and when do you do it - before or after a feed?

Thanks in advance.....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
milktraylady · 28/10/2013 21:37

But on the other hand if you stay in overnight it means at least one if you (dp) gets a night sleep. Otherwise you find yourself gone through labour birth & recovery then go home, the 2 hr feeding cycle & are both shattered.
I wish I had stayed in 1 night.
But at the time I felt a huge need to go home.

Yes there should be a course/test or something! The most important thing you've ever done- creating a person- and you get to just go home totally clueless!

But you will manage, and everyone will be fine.

(And if you want to bf, be aware you may need help & where to go to get this help) (bitter voice of experience, thought I would have no problems & everyone who uses formula does so by choice.er no!)

rachyconks · 28/10/2013 21:58

The practical stuff is really easy! Nappy changes, feeding (babies normally feed until they are full, I don't know any that feed until they are sick. I could be corrected on that. You will probably find in the early days the baby will fall asleep on the bottle), dressing - it just comes naturally. The hard part is the anxiety you feel in wondering whether you are doing it all right/doing the best for baby. But, a year on (where I am now), you'll look at your happy, healthy baby and wonder how you did it. It's the best feeling!

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 22:25

Thete are no stupid questions here! It's my first time too so I have one for our fountains of knowledge...

I'm hoping to be able to breast feed. How do I know how much milk baby is getting considering it's going straight from boob to baby?

I'm probably going to be giving birth in the hospital. Will me and baby have my own room after or be on a ward?

gwenniebee · 28/10/2013 22:35

Ooh I would disagree about discharging yourself quickly - before I had dd I was certain I wouldn't want to stay in hospital and indeed after she arrived I couldn't wait to get out - however, we ended up being readmitted because dd wasn't feeding properly, and if I'd stayed in longer that probably wouldn't have happened.

Don't be scared to ask the professionals for help - I didn't want to make a fuss and we got in a right pickle. Ask, ask, and ask again! (Even if they think you're a PITA you'll probably never see them again.)

ScariestFairyByFar · 28/10/2013 22:37

Lots of people have said it'll come naturally and so much of it does. Have a look at BabyCalm by Sarah Ockwell-Smith it's a great book that comes for the start point of you know what to do.

clare8allthepies · 28/10/2013 22:39

The best guide to see if your baby is getting plenty of milk in is wet nappies. i had a massive stress as I was feeling inside the nappy and they were really dry, didn't twig it was because they're so absorbent. Feel how heavy the nappy is and that will let you know how much weeing has been happening!

SimLondon · 28/10/2013 22:45

Different hospitals have different policies - at ours, if labour involved any kind of intervention then there had to be a pediatrician doing the 6 hour check - only they do their rounds at certain times so we ended up on post-natal, which actually was kinda nice compared to being kicked out at 3am after an 18 hour labour.

Anyway mill - the cow&gate pre steralised bottles have very hard teats which may not suit baby - we found our hospital didnt offer milk but they did have per-sterilized bottles and teats which we could use on the cow & gate bottles. Although cow&gate was not suitable for our LO's tummy and we ended up with Aptimil.

rachyconks · 28/10/2013 22:48

Totally agree with gwenniebee. I was discharged after one night, though I was offered a second night. It's one of my biggest regrets about the whole thing. Being at home was overwhelming with grandparents and stuff. I wish I'd taken more time with just me & DD.

BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 22:51

Sim, can I ask - how did you know cow & gate wasn't suitable for your LO? Can you tell by looking at nappies, does it make them sick etc

OP posts:
clarinsgirl · 28/10/2013 23:15

Jolleigh If you are planning on breast feeding then you don't need to worry about measuring the volume of milk. Baby should feed regularly (at least every couple of hours when newborn). He/she will let you know when they are hungry and providing you are regularly changing wet (or rather heavier) nappies then you'll be fine. Like most things, it sounds incredibly complicated until you're doing it. The truth is that most of us haven't a clue to start with but babies are programmed to ensure we don't sleep learn quickly.

BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 23:18

Ok I've thought of another,
How long can I expect PFB to fit in a moses basket?

OP posts:
Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 23:26

Thanks Clare & Clarins

RunningOutOfIdeas · 28/10/2013 23:36

DD1 grew out of her Moses basket by 3 months. DD2 still fitted in it at 4 months. She had to be moved out of it then because she had hip dysplasia and was put in a harness to correct this which did not fit in the Moses basket.

One reason some hospitals are now more wary of swaddling is that it can cause hip dysplasia, also overheating.

Mumof3xx · 29/10/2013 06:04

Another one here who would vote for discharging yourself
I only stayed in with ds1, but while he slept peacefully I was kept awake by one crazy woman winding her baby repeatedly and quite loudly

I went home 6 hours after ds 2 was born and 5 after dd

DampDudes · 29/10/2013 06:13

Don't put baby in snow suit then in car seat. It reduces efficiency of car seat and can cause them to over heat as well. far better to put a Cardigan on then then a blanket over the top of the straps.

scratch mitts are not recommended if you want to breastfeed as they significantly affect the bf response. Just tuck hands under the blanket to keep them warm.

GreenSunrise · 29/10/2013 06:39

My hospital sounds a lot more supportive than some of the other posters' experiences. With ds I had a cs and was very ill from various complications and the midwives / healthcare assistants did all nappy changing and dressing for me for the first few days. I was too ill to bf initially and so they fed him formula which they provided. When I was a bit better they helped me with bf and hand expressing and showed me how to use a breast pump. They gave ds his first bath and talked me through it while I watched

I did wonder if this level of help was unusual and just because I was so ill but I have just had dd (no health complications this time but another cs) and the day after she was born a nursery nurse came to my bedsidevto check if I needed help with bf and positioning and to ask if I knew how to give my baby a bath (I didn't need help on either). When we first got to the post natal yard a healthcare assistant dressed dd and changed her nappy because I couldn't get out of bed or lift her at that point due. I could also hear other women being given formula, although I don't know if this was just for cases where a top up had been advised or if it was where the baby was being completely ff

I would check with your midwife or a friend who has recently given birth in the same hospital about what kind of support you will get in there. If you have a cs make sure that you ask for help by pressing the buzzer, ven if no one comes round to proactively needs help, asxyou won't be able to twist and lift your baby at first.

Antenatal classes will usually cover things like nappy changing and feeding as well as labour so you might find it useful to sign up for some.

Good luck with the rest ofyour pregnancy.

GreenSunrise · 29/10/2013 06:42

Sorry for typos. On phone with predictive text. Hopefully you can work out what I meant Smile

Mumof3xx · 29/10/2013 07:24

Our local hospital is one if the worst in the country unfortunately!

Jolleigh · 29/10/2013 08:14

How do people know where the best and worst are? I know nothing about mine other than I'm probably going to end up giving birth there!

Julietee · 29/10/2013 08:46

If I can add a question -
What do newborns sleep in, and how can you tell if they're overheating?

OP, I'm also clueless and due in feb :)

Mumof3xx · 29/10/2013 08:47

Mine has been on the news a lot this year

It has one of worst death rates in the country

Not necessarily labour and delivery related but still it doesn't create a great feeling

Mumof3xx · 29/10/2013 08:49

Newborns sleep in ....

Vest sleepsuit and wrapped in a blanket

You alter blankets and clothing depending on temp

You can get thermometers which give you an idea of how many layers

Remember if you fold a blanket it becomes two layers

Once they are big enough I think sleeping bags are the easiest option I have used them for all three dc and never have to worry about the disappearing under the blankets or kicking them off

laughingeyes2013 · 29/10/2013 08:50

Some new parents worry about whether their baby is doing enough wet nappies, and with disposable nappies it can be hard to detect little wee's. One way to tell while the nappy is still on, is feeling the nappy - the gel swells slightly when wet and you can feel this with your fingers.

When a baby is hungry they will gape their mouth open and turn their head toward you, like little chicks in a nest getting ready to receive worms!

When newborn, a baby should be fed every 3 hours or more. Sometimes you get a very sleepy baby who doesn't want to wake for feeds but you have to encourage them. On the other hand, some babies suck for England and can make you very sore (not to mention tied down!), which is managed by learning to notice when they've stopped gulping milk and are just nibbling sucking without swallowing. If that happens too much, you simply need to find different ways to comfort them (cuddles, white noise, movement etc).

You'll find your baby doesn't fit a "one size fits all" model, they grow at different rates (so some babies grow out of carrycots/moses baskets faster than others) and they prefer different comforts. For example, I had one very sucky baby (so in the end I had to use a dummy) and another who absolutely loved white noise (which I have on a phone app). One became deeply relaxed after a bath, the other woke up with a ping! One loved the car motion and the other screamed the whole journey. One fell asleep within minutes of breastfeeding and the other bites, squirms and wriggles the whole way through each feed. So as I said, one size doesn't fit all.

The most important things to know in my experience are:

  1. How to keep your baby alive
feed enough, check they poo and wee enough, keep them safe
  1. How to keep them safe
Most of it is SIDS related really. So don't overheat or underheat, transport them safely, keep them with you (or another caretaker) while sleeping for the first 6 months, lie them flat until they can hold themselves sitting upright, and on their back until they can roll themselves over
  1. How your personal baby works
you'll need to try lots of different things and soon you'll see which ones your baby prefers. When crying, do they prefer to be cuddled or left in peace to sleep with comforting noise in the background etc)

When they cry, go through a mental checklist of:

  1. Are they hungry
  2. Are they soiled
  3. Are they too hot or too cold (check back of neck or stomach rather than just the room temperature or hands and feet)
  4. Are they bored? As baby goes older they look for little chats with other people and want to see moving trees, traffic, squeaky toys etc.
  5. Are they tired? This is a biggy. If you have a "regular as clockwork" baby then you can give them an hour after feeding before you lie them down for a rest again. But if (like most babies) it varies, you have to learn to spot the clues. My babies were not eye-rubbing types, but have all been a bit past it after the second yawn so we had to act quickly or there would be a melt-down!

So what I've taken forever to say is there is a structure of basic needs and then a different layer of individual baby needs, which you will learn as you go.

Somehow we all make it though! So you'll be fine. There's always a way to find answers if you feel stuck. Are someone once said, "a worried Mother will do better research then the FBI"!

Shente · 29/10/2013 08:57

Re. Nappies I've only skimmed this so hope it hasn't been mentioned already but I loved the fact that Pampers newborn nappies have a strip that turns blue when they are wet, found it really useful as a rooky to know for definite if she was wet or not as the smell test only works for poo!

laughingeyes2013 · 29/10/2013 09:00

Julietee to can tell if a baby is overheated by feeling them. Is the skin hot, sweaty, clammy, sticky? There should not be sweat beads on their nose.

They can begin to breath rapidly.

They may look red in the face. Think of a person who has just been jogging, hot, sweaty, sticky, panting.

Also learn roughy what sort of layers are needed for different temperatures. You can get temperature charts with various clothes and blankets, or just google it online. If the chart is way out from what you're doing then I'd be needing a good reason and really double checking the baby.

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