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Original poster

An Idiots guide to babies...

104 replies

BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 17:53

Can I ask some probably very stupid questions please? My first baby is due in February and I've been wondering about the following things, but I am too embarrassed to ask anyone in real life as I feel I should just know these things.......

Formula feeding - does anyone know what milk they use in hospitals. If I use something different when I get home will it upset my baby's tummy?

How soon after baby is born do you give their first bottle? Is it straightaway?

Do they bath the baby in hospital?

How often do newborns need their nappy changed, and when do you do it - before or after a feed?

Thanks in advance.....

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Original poster
BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 19:51

Thanks for the tip on pulling vests down. Just checked and all the vests I've got so far have envelope necks so that's good.

Fingers crossed that when he's here I will have the natural instinct that all other women seem to have.

OP posts:
Swannykazoo · 28/10/2013 19:52

Very helpful -thank you all and thank you bat for letting me join in too.

MrsPatMustard · 28/10/2013 19:54

I'm in a similar position - really new to all this. Can I add questions in here?

The question about formula in hospitals has kinda confused me - don't they expect you to breast feed from the word go? My midwife seems fanatical about it....

Do staff in hospitals help you with things like feeds and nappy changes or is it solely your responsibility?

Sorry to appear gormless but this really is a whole new language for me....

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 19:58

I didn't get any help with Feeds or changes in hospital

Re scratch mitts - these are now not encouraged by midwives hv etc as they say baby should be able to touch their own face to help them to learn to self sooth

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 19:59

Oh and breastfeeding is encouraged, but it's your choice at the end of the day

MunchkinJess · 28/10/2013 20:03

I got zero help with changing or feeding and I had a c section!

luckiky my mum was about to show me and partner what to do. I had a good idea but just wanted reassurance.

the hospital I was in told.mw they were a breastfeeding hospital and my baby didnt feed for the first 27 hours after birth as I couldn't breastfeed. I would find out ahead if you can as I wish I was told.

the hospital reluctantly gave me formula and told me I could only have one small bottle as they are dead againatr formula feeding ( even tho I had no choice) I really had to throw my toys out the pram as I was so worried that my baby hadnt fed even tho I did try.

AnotherStitchInTime · 28/10/2013 20:06

I have had two girls by EMCS and my husband dressed them both and did the first nappies.

12 nappies a day is average, you may need more. Depending on the size of your baby they may not be in newborn first size for long, so wait and see before you buy loads. The first poos are meconium poos and very thick, dark and sticky. I found cotton wool pads better than cotton wool balls.

Mine weren't bathed fully until their cords fell off when they were about a week old, I just strip washed using a top and tail bowl.

Not an expert on bottle feeding as bf both of mine, but my nieces were bottle fed and just fell asleep with milk dribbling from their mouth when full or possetted up some milk.

If they are crying checks:

Are they hungry?

Is their nappy wet/dirty?

Do they have wind?

Do they just want comfort?

can be useful when they are very little.

Main advice is to sleep when they sleep, everything seems harder when you are tired.

Good luck Thanks

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 20:07

I am amazed that some hospitals refuse to allow mothers to feed their babies formula

Livvylongpants · 28/10/2013 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 20:15

How odd! 6 months ago I was told off for mitts lol

WhosLookingAfterCourtney · 28/10/2013 20:29

I never realised that about envelope necks!

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 20:31

Neither did I til I saw it on here a few months back and I have 3 dc lol

Somanychanges · 28/10/2013 20:33

I think if you are unsure about feeding and nappy changing in hospital I would ask the midwives for help. I am sure that there are many mums who are unsure of all these things but don't ask for help. After all that is what they are there for to assist you and baby. I think all midwives should ask new mums if there is anything they are not sure of. I can't imagine how scarey it must be if you haven't had any experience with babies at all.

I was lucky I grew up helping raise my cousins and siblings and was always up for nappy changing and feeding etc. I was also a nanny before having my own children and cared for lots of babies. So when my turn came I was more than ready. But my husband on the other hand had never even held a baby before. He was petrified, I remember how sore his shoulders and back were as every time he was holding/changing her he was so tense bless him as he was scared he would hurt or drop her.

They sleep most of the time when they are newborn so it is pretty simple and everyone has their own way of caring for their little ones. I think just have confidence in yourself and what you naturally feel is right.

I did hear people say that about swaddling recently, that it is not advised anymore. I don't care what the midwives say my baby will still be swaddled as I know it was great for my other babies. That's the thing they constantly change guidelines it's bloody confusing so just go with your gut.

MunchkinJess · 28/10/2013 20:37

I asked for help and was told by a very rude midwife that they do not look after your baby for you....errr I was asking for a little , support , advice and help not a full time nanny Envy

MunchkinJess · 28/10/2013 20:40

sorry my aftercare has been really shocking. ...I have mainly relied on instinct, family advice and mumsnet for advice Grin

Original poster
BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 20:45

You are all angels, thank you.
I have very little experience of babies and neither has DH but we're both really excited.
Fortunately when I told my midwife I'm not planning on BF she said as long as baby gets fed she doesn't care if it's with boob or bottle. Shame other MW's don't have that view

OP posts:
Phineyj · 28/10/2013 20:46

The Mumsnet book is really good - take it in and you can get visitors to look up stuff for you!

Livvylongpants · 28/10/2013 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyWindsor · 28/10/2013 21:07

Can I jump in with a question please?! I'm due in a week a point raised on here has confused me ConfusedBlush

If baby falls asleep whilst feeding do you still wind? Will they just bring it up while snoozing?

milktraylady · 28/10/2013 21:17

Re wind- I was confused about this too (lo is 6months now) - if breastfeeding there's not a huge need to wind- especially when they are just getting colostrum.
If on formula, as they take so much more volume quicker, yes winding is needed.

Tricky to not wake em up doing winding tho. And if you don't they will defo wake up crying, or puke

milktraylady · 28/10/2013 21:18

I also found it scary how much you are left to struggle by on your own.
But you do manage, instincts kick in, mumsnet to ask for advice, and if you are lucky a female relative

milktraylady · 28/10/2013 21:21

The mumsnet book on babies is great!

My major problem has been sleep deprivation. It is so awful, but you can't prepare for it, little you can do about it, and you just have to keep going.

Original poster
BatPenguin · 28/10/2013 21:26

I will have to get the mumsnet book.

It is scary milktraylady to think that you are left to it! I can imagine getting him home and thinking 'what the hell do I do now?' Shouldn't I have to take a test before they let us take him?lol

OP posts:
ChipAndSpud · 28/10/2013 21:27

If DS fell asleep feeding I'd just burp him by putting him over my shoulder and patting his back, he just carried on sleeping!

All hospitals seem to give different advice eg mine told me not to worry about the unbiblical cord getting wet and give DS a bath whenever I was ready (well DM gave him his first bath at about 5 days old), but other people get told not to get it wet!

Just do what you think is best and try to rest whenever the baby is resting!

SaucyJack · 28/10/2013 21:30

You be fine, honest.

If anything, it's best to discharge yourself ASAP instead of staying in overnight as there really isn't any fucking point medical need to stay.

You'll probably be happier and better supported at home with the baby's dad to help you muddle through.