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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Furious and Fed Up!!

32 replies

harman · 22/02/2004 16:00

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highlander · 22/02/2004 16:05

Yikes, what's so bad about you being pregnant?

Angeliz · 22/02/2004 16:08

that's not nice harman and i can understand why you are upset!! Sounds like they had a sense of humour failure!

collision · 22/02/2004 16:11

You must be gutted! I know I would be. How many grandchildren have they got? Where they like this with other pregnancies?

Hulababy · 22/02/2004 16:15

Oh Harman, how terrible for you. No wonder you are both annoyed. Don't let them spil this for you.

Huge congratulations to you

spacemonkey · 22/02/2004 16:16

poor you harman ((HUGS)) their behaviour is absolutely atrocious!

Angeliz · 22/02/2004 16:18

Oh yes i forgot,

CONGRATULATIONS++++++++++++++++++++++++

(I'm trying too at the mo so may join you)

Cavy · 22/02/2004 16:29

My inlaws are like this. Certainly got no congrats from them. And FIL, he doesn't even like children. MIL said something like: "If you find out the baby has Down's syndrome, after you terminate will you just go ahead and get sterilised?"

Her other son is gay and totally disinterested in fatherhood, so we are providing her 3rd & last grandchild, but she still thinks that going beyond 2 is barmy. We can afford it, I don't know what her problem is....

Lisa78 · 22/02/2004 16:32

Well bollocks to them Harman Lots of congratulations from us here instead, I for one am really thrilled for you

Give them a bit of time and see what happens - have you any idea why they have reacted like this?

lou33 · 22/02/2004 16:33

The more children I had the less congrats I got. One aunt even said " you aren't going to have it are you?"

Sod the lot of them, Congrats Harman, we are all pleased for you anyway!

shrub · 22/02/2004 16:59

could she be jealous? and a big congratulations surround yourself with people who are happy for you. i would try and practice the tricky art of detatchment in this case, it is such a special and fleeting time for you, you don't want her behaviour to overshadow your pregnancy. families are so bloomin weird!

collision · 22/02/2004 17:07

I can be so dim sometimes! I read your situation and thought 'how can anyone be so awful?' then I remembered my cow of a MIL said that my dh was fat (which he is not), stupid and irresponsible!!' for getting me pregnant!! He is her first grandchild and he is 22months now. She has seen him a handful of times and is just awful. I was in hosp having him and was in for 17 days and she didnt even bother coming to see us.

IMO it is entirely her loss and she is the one missing out. My ds has no idea who she is and it is her fault. So upsetting though and I really feel for my dh as his father isnt around either.

I do feel for you and hope you tell us why you think she is like she is. My MIL is just a bitter and twisted woman who 'chooses to only have 2 friends and there is absolutely no room in my life to be friends with you!!!' Ah well.

hana · 22/02/2004 17:25

it must be awful to be met with a reaction like that - was it completely unexpected? Sorry that you got this reaction, esp when you're feeling so very excited about it all yourself.

twiglett · 22/02/2004 18:24

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suzywong · 22/02/2004 18:27

miserable old bat

aloha · 22/02/2004 18:31

Congratulations!! Wonderful news. She's a miserable old cow though so who cares about her? Hooray for you and your dh instead.

Original poster
harman · 22/02/2004 18:58

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emmatmg · 22/02/2004 19:05

I've said congratulations already but can't resist saying it again so....CONGRATULATIONS maybe we'll get to meet your new babe at a mumsnet meet up at Godstone Farm next year.

I had this sort of reaction when Pg with DS3, my mum said "oh you're not!" "oh well" although I don't think she meant it in a horrid way she just doesn't think before her mouth starts going but someone else who knew I'd been broody for ages and ages simply said "Oh you got what you wanted then" like I'd somehow got PG without DH's knowlegde and consent but as I haven't been on the pill in years and we use condoms I somehow think he knew what the result would be if we didn't use one during that 'special' couple of days during the month. She also knows I'm not on the pill so that comment really hurt me.......It p*ssed me right off aswell!

bundle · 22/02/2004 19:09

congratulations, harman. I'm sure there's something going on with your mil, but she has no right to be such a cow over your good news. best to tackle it head on imo (her, not you - ie say what's bothering her)
I know a family who recently had a dd when the sil had just had her 4th boy and she just can't even bring herself to visit them because she's gutted (even considering having ivf when she's perfectly healthy just to have a girl), and it's caused all sorts of problems, when in fact it's no one's fault, it's just got out of hand. good luck with the pregnancy

Marina · 23/02/2004 09:53

Harman, big hugs. I got the same response from my mother when we told her about my second pregnancy. I know how deeply upsetting it is. We're all pleased for you, anyway! Congratulations.

Twinkie · 23/02/2004 09:58

Well congrats from me - I have to say I am jealous!!

What an old cow to behvae like that - some people are too intouch with their feelings - why not step back and think of your sand be kind and congratulatory instead of sooo mean!! - Sure she will come round and love and cherish this little bundle just as she does all of the others though!!

(My FIL's response to me being pregnant was to tell my DH (now x2b) that he should go out and find himself a job before he thought about doing silly things such as having children!! - MIL siad she already knew (That will be on account of her being a f*cking witch then!!))

CountessDracula · 23/02/2004 09:58

Harman ignore her she sounds like she's being stupid and I hope she regrets it.

And CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Chinchilla · 23/02/2004 19:06

Congratulations Harman! I take it things improved between you and dh then?

kiwisbird · 23/02/2004 19:08

Thats awful!
GRRRR

kiwisbird · 23/02/2004 19:10

ALSO....Massive congrats Harman, wonderful news!!!
Also praying to lord that my inlaws are lovely
Just my own mum is the problem
Sod em!
xx J

Blu · 23/02/2004 19:15

Some people have no idea, do they? Do they think that the world revolves around their own warped opinions? Whatever her own view, they should have the grace and generosity to be pleased for you and your dh in WHATEVER pleases you.

It was a LOVELY way to give them very good news. If people can't hear good news, it's their loss.

CONGRATULATIONS!
Lou, Cavy et al, I never realised people could be so horrid. How did you / your dp's all grow up so lovely with such horrid parents???

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