PG after MC: Posifrickentivity, Batshit Crazy and a Rash of New Babies...

[SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten]

Here we go ladies...

Yeah, our lives as women trying to grow babies and bring them into the world are hard enough as it is, so I think we all need to be kinder to ourselves!

Right, off to drive to a meeting miles away. Urgh. At least i have the nice car with cruise control today

Hi ladies! Wow, lots of scans today - good luck emki, penguin, tomcat and anglo*!

pixie I know how you feel! I totally agree with santa, I just wanted to add that with the first baby it's all new and daunting. I remember being in shock at how hard the first few weeks were - at least this time you know what to expect and what you need to do. It'll all be fine, I'm sure.

emki I've had MMC, successful pregnancy, MMC, current pregnancy. Ever since my first miscarriage, I've been terrified of every scan and felt all doom and gloom whenever I've had one. It's natural to be scared.

polka I'm sure you can find some tables online. What you need to remember is that for the NHS the cutoff point (i.e. at which you're considered high risk and offered an amnio) is 1:150, irrespective of age. I'm also surprised you have to pay for the nuchal test, it'd be a good idea to query it. I wonder if they offer the harmony test as an extra and that is what you pay for, if you wish to do it.

lucky sorry to hear you haven't been feeling that great but at least you know the reason and are being monitored closely. I've been super thirsty throughout the pregnancy!

eek just realised i accidentaly liked the link (on my fb account) that someone put on a while ago to a meme on the alpha parent thingy. the one with the book that is titled formula feeders excuses. now anyone who saw it will think i am part of the bf gestapo - am v much not!!! i suspect my dh did it as i showed it him.

polka the nhs charged for the nuchal scan when I had DD which is almost 3 years ago. I have just looked at the nhs website and there is no mention of a charge for the test just that it will be offered. If it is just that your pct has decided to charge could you maybe go to a different hospital?

Did a nice big post last night and mumsnet wouldn't let me send it. Did the big bold name-checky thing and everything, so was unimpressed when it hung. Humph.

Now can't be fagged to repost everything, so in brief:
Hello new people.
Fod, I think we should do bad things to your boss.
Sorry it's so hard for particularly pre-12 weekers. I drove myself nuts.

That's about it x

Thinking of everyone who is having scans today. Here's hoping for lots of good news soon.

Santa I totally agree with your post, even although this is my first it echoes my feelings on the subject exactly. I have been amazed at the attitudes to BF I have encountered since I fell pg, I had no idea people were so militant about it!

Another subject which seems to bring out strong reactions in people is the apparently thorny issue of NCT classes. I am interested in people's opinions on whether or not to NCT? I appreciate they are expensive and there are free courses available through the NHS but as a first timer I have no idea whether to go NCT or not.

Half my friends are completely opposed to them and feel they have an agenda which they shove down your throats while the other half are very enthusiastic about the benefits and feel the classes were totally worth the money.

I'm interested in anyone's experiences/opinions on the matter here as I simply can't make up my mind...

kjh5

I did NCT when pregnant with my dd. I thought the classes were great, and our teacher wasn't at all overly biased. In fact, the way she described a c-section made us all wish we could just elect for one right there and then! (I ended up going totally natural without that really being my plan so hey ho. Though I did have two paracetomol as my temperature was high).
NCT is also a great way to meet other parents-to-be.

However it is heavily dependent on the teacher you get. so maybe check for word-of-mouth references locally before signing up.

The NHS also run(or used to run) Parentcraft classes in some areas, these would be free I guess (NCT not exactly cheap if I recall correctly).

I went out for dinner on Friday with my NCT class who I've now been best pals with for over 7 years
The course was useful, I don't doubt I could have researched it all myself from a book or websites, but the friends we made have been invaluable.
The NHS classes were crap, overcrowded, at massively inconvenient times for DH, no chance to ask a question, much less make friends.
I think the emphasis was on natural childbirth and breastfeeding, but they were quite realistic about the chances of that being the outcome - they said 2 or 3 of us would end up with a C-section and they were absolutely right (2 Csections, 1 forceps, 3 unassisted but in some way medicated vaginal births, one homebirth) I think they were pretty good about making sure we understood the implications of the choices that we made at the time.
Good luck for everyone who has a scan today. I am crapping myself about Thursday.

I agree with tins, the nhs classes that I went to 7 years ago were shocking. Midwives that couldn't really be bothered and got in a hypnotist instead so we all laid on the floor for an hour! Another class consisted of handing the woman a knitted boob and a little chat about feeding whilst the men were in the opposite corner with 6 pieces of a breast pump trying to work out how to put it together!

Hopefully we will be able to afford NCT classes this time as I'm that bit older and don't know any other expectant mums. Apart from you lovely lot that is.

Hang on in there tins

yup, only good thing about NHS classes was meeting my best mum friend there and the first aid info which was good. The breastfeeding acrostic we all wrote together, not so much

I have heard nct classes described as an expensive middle class introductory service for parents but I do wish we had done them. Can't due to lack of babysitting this time but they do seem to put a really positive emphasis on building a social network for both mums and dads which is really good.

Having said that I did go to the post baby nct group and found it quite unfriendly, maybe because they'd all bonded beforehand though.

completely off topic but anyone looking forward to gbbo final? I think I want Frances to win!

Also wanted to say that all seven of us did breastfeed for at least 6 months, due in no small part to the excellent breastfeeding class as part of the antenatal course but also the support available afterwards from the local NCT breastfeeding counsellor. You can access her without going on the course - but having already met her made it that much easier to get in touch.
You can do just the breastfeeding class, or if you are on a low income you can get a significant reduction in the cost of the course.
I did do a infant first aid NHS class which was excellent, but it was actually run by St John's ambulance. The NHS post natal group I was too old for by a good 10 years (bearing in mind I was 31 when I had DS so hardly ancient) and felt like a complete pariah for breastfeeding there.
A good supportive group of friends all going through the same struggles are worth their weight in gold as a new mum.

emki if there's anything I've learned on this journey, it's that there is no such thing as woman's intuition, or if there is, I have not been blessed with it.

Last time, after experiencing some spotting, I actually sat myself down in a dark room and tried to ask myself if the baby was ok by really concentrating on what my body had to say. Surely, my subconscious would have picked up on it if the baby had stopped growing or the heart had stopped beating, surely I must know it on some level. Well, I came away from it feeling positive and that my baby would be ok. I found out at a scan a week later that the baby had been dead at least a week by that point.

This time around, I've been convinced that it was all going sour on a number of occasions, but hasn't happened yet. When it comes to this kind of thing, I've just accepted that I have no idea.

Pixie I'm totally excited about GBBO tonight! I've told everyone I'm sneaking off for an hour to watch it at work tonight - I'm rooting for Kimberley although I have to admit Francis' stuff always looks amazing!

Thanks so much for your thoughts on NCT everyone - I think I'm definitely leaning towards that option especially as while I have pregnant friends they all live quite far away from me. It would be nice to know other mums in my area. Plus DH and I are also an hour or two away from our parents. I'm very keen that we don't have any extra help looking after the baby in the beginning so won't be having anyone staying over to lend a hand. I figure we have no idea what we're getting into so we'll need all the advice and help we can get in the run up!

thank you medusa I know I'm clutching at straws, I've just got to get through tonight and tomorrow morning - scan at 11am - its just got to be all ok - I will seriously hit a big depression if this MC number 3... however I also know that I will bounce back ... eventually - but I'm 39 soon!!!! eek!!!

Thank you for your advice xxx

Ah I have just had the best news! one of my best friends is pregnant after a long time TTC. She will be 8 wks behind me! I'm so excited for her two of my best friends are now pg both after less than smooth TTC journeys (other friend mc'd just before me) I just wish we all lived nearer but it will still be lovely to all have babies around the same time

And the verdict is - baby is head down! Clever baby moved. Yay. So, all go for natural birth! Problem is, I had myself so convinced that it was going to be a c section, I have got out of the 'zone'!! Need to get back into the 'zone'! Where does one find a 'zone'?! And someone get me some raspberry leaf tea, stat!!!!
To update on hippo baby, they also still refusing to give me another scan. However, when I literally broke down and cried on the poor midwife, she has decided for my 'emotional well being' it is best to refer me to a consultant. Phew! Still not sure if it will do any good at all, but at least it is progress.

Kjh, I have done nct. Didn't much rate the course to be honest but have met up with the thee mothers since and all the couples are all meeting up again this week for lunch. Done a wraparound course - so have a few more classes in jan with just mums and tots involved so think it is well worth the money. I think there are a few I will prob keep in touch with so if you are thinking about joing to make friends def worth it xxxx

Are have been trying to hide all day from who won gbbo and had done well but just google who won the first one as it was bugging me and the search came up with who raymond blanc he wa having a row with! Arghhhhh I am stupid, stupid!!!!!!!!!

Yey for baby turning pink and yey for pregnant friends pixie great news.

I had a similar conversation with DH earlier about intuition and it's reliability. Back in March when I had a BFP I felt it was doomed from the start. Never once thought I'd MC (that happened to other people) but didn't feel right throughout and thought that there would be something very wrong at the scan. My body didn't let it get that far though. We had an early scan on the BH Sunday and all ok then big bleed Monday and game over. Looking back I'm pretty sure I can say exactly when that baby died as I suddenly felt very very different. Despite the normal apprehension post MC I feel like all is well with this one and haven't had that feeling of doom. With any luck it won't bite me on the ass tomorrow!

emki we both have scans at 11 in the morning. I'll be thinking of you with your belly out x

tea I'm in complete agreement! I've received a friend request on fb today from (I assume) my director, however she has only 2 friends and I can't see any info/pictures etc we have no mutual friends either! Do you ever get the feeling that people assume your some kind of mug???

pink yay clever hippo baby! I'm not sure about getting into the zone... write a birth plan maybe? any time to read up on hypnobirthing? I'm finding Maggie Howells book quite good at the moment. Good luck!

on the other hand, maybe its better to go into it entirely open minded!