Realistically is 35 too late to plan for my third child?

[Stripedmum]

I have DS who is 2.4 and DD who is 21 weeks. I have had quite bad PND after both babies and once I'm (hopefully) over this bout I'd like to have a third child (if we're lucky enough to be able to conceive). However I feel like my body needs a bit of a rest and would like to wait until DD is at school before we tried for #3 by which point i'll be 35. Is this realistic? Anyone else with two reasonably close in age and then a larger gap?

35 aint old....I had my second baby at 39! All good. Feel like crap of course but I would any way!

I'm having my first just before my 34th birthday, so will be hoping to have a second at 35/36yrs. I don't think this is too old at all.

Well I'm only on my second and am 36, had no problem conceiving but I'm not sure you can ever really plan it as you don't know if it will happen when you want or at all! I think we'll want a third in a few years but as I'll be getting on I know we'll just have to play it by ear. I think just enjoy the two you have, get yourself feeling well in yourself and see where you're at then. Have you had any counselling for the PND?

I had my first at 36, then my second at 38. Now 40 and certainly don't feel too old for another. I am, however, too skint for more nursery fees!

My SIL had #4 at 39. You are def not too old! But def try and get yourself in a good place with the PND beforehand. Good luck!

I am utterly stunned you are even asking this question !

Similar situation to OP's. Had 3rd at 40. Took longer to conceive, so the age gap between dc2 and dc3 was nearly 4y. Did not have PND after dc3 (but developed straightforward D a couple of years later...might have happened in any case). Dc3 took longer to conceive, and I had a couple of early mc along the way, which was why I had the bigger age gap.

My one and on ly regret about having dc3 is the bigger age gap. It has been very much like having two separate families. With a smaller age gap their needs are far more compatible. It's less rushed, too. It doesn't matter if you're late to nursery, but it does if you're late to school.

I have also found that I cannot 'wait for my depression to get better'. If I wait, if I put my life and my desires on hold, then it does not get better. Part of recovering from my depression is achieving things I want in life.

It's an up-and-down road. I wonder, does anyone ever truly recover from depression, or do we simply find coping strategies? I find it easier to accept, OK, I'm prone to depression. When things are good, I work on strategies to keep them good. When things are bad, I use those strategies and go to the GP for extra help. But I've got to keep my life moving forward, otherwise I give up on myself and things get really bad.

Not at all! I had DC2 at 35, DC3 at 36 and am 21 weeks pregnant with DC4 at the grand old age of 39.

My biggest problems were ttc DC2 -it took 18 months of disappointment and unhappiness - so between 32 and 34. It took no time to ttc DC3 and I was actually on the pill when DC4 was conceived

Health-wise I've had no problems in any of the pregnancies, but my last two labours and births were easier by far than my first, at 30. Hoping for the same again this time

35 is no age at all to be having a baby, but my experience second time round taught me we're all bloody lucky to get pregnant whatever our age

im #3 and my mum had me at 36, wasn't even considered old back then and I've certainly never seen her as an old mum!!

I was 37 when DC1 was born, after 18 months of trying, then had dc2 at 39 after 3 months, so no, not too late at 35.

I'm 35, will be 36 when the baby's born.

My DC will be 14 and coming up for 13 when their sibling arrives.

Not too late at 35, but bear in mind that it might take a while to get pregnant.

Thanks everyone. Iloveafullfridge - yes that's what I was afraid someone would say...you never really 'get over' it - it's just a case of depression not affecting your plans (in my case 3 DC).

In terms of age gap - the having one much younger than the other does concern me a bit due to the differing needs thing.

If course like others have said - can I ever actually 'plan' for a baby? Feel very lucky to have conceived two without problem - a third mightn't be as straightforward.

Thanks again. In my neck of the woods 35 is not the norm. Not unusual but not the norm.

In my opinion (and that's all it is!) a third baby with a big age gap might grow up a little lonely and left out. My own brother did. He was born when ny mum was 36 though, so if course that's possible, and she coped fine with being an "older mum".

I think if you have it in your head that you want another, you won't be able to relax until you do! (again, that might just be me though!! )

I came off ADs when I conceived dc3 and am keeping sn eagle eye out for symptoms; can't say it's always been easy with two little ones and pregnancy but so far so good (touch wood).

Good luck with your decision making and ttc

Lol, I had ds1 and dd1 aged 22 and 24 and then me and dh decided to start all over again and had ds2 at 33 and due to have dd2 next week after just turning 35!! I will say that current pregnancy was a big surprise as were stopping at 3 however, it now feels meant to be mainly in relation to the age gaps, it is like having a second bash at it all

Razzdazz - that's so lovely! It must be great feeling that you are getting to do it all again and get it out your system once and for all!

Thanks blackholes - yes the one younger is concerning in part for that reason. However I'm in no place at the mo to consider #3 as don't want to push myself over the edge! I am currently having reoccurring nightmares about being pregnant

I suppose it will be a case of balancing my wants and needs (a DC3) against what's best for DC3 and my family.

We will see

I had ds1 at 36 and ds2 at 38 so no!

Strikeout overload

Jeez, I had my first at 35 and third and last at 42. Absolutely no problem. Ok the maths is sometimes a bit scary- I'll be 60 when youngest is 18 but ageing is different these days. 60 year olds can be bouncy, healthy and out for a laff. Go for it. Enjoy. Good luck with getting the pnd controlled.

I am 37 and about to have my first. I feel like a dinosaur now, thanks :(

36 and having my first. A bit of an odd question to ask if you're a regular Mumsnet poster! X

I think you should be fine.

Personally, I want to be done having children by that age and if we do have a DC3, I won't do it later than 32/33 but you see on here that this is just one opinion and lots of women do it differently and have children later. You need to do what feels right for you and your family and hope that your fertility plays along.

Razzdazz- awesome set up! Congratulations!

Yes striped- good luck with sorting the PND xx

I had twins (first babies) at 33 and I really want more. My body is finally back to normal, it took a year to feel myself again. I want to TTC when the girls are 4 so I will be about 38 when we have DC3.

I feel like I lost out on many aspects of having a newborn, time to cuddle them, natural birth to name a few. I really want to know what it is like to have a single baby consultant said I have a high chance of twins again

I feel quite offended. I'm 35 and about to have my first.

Just shy of a biscuit.

I was 22 when dd was born and dc2 is due shortly before I turn 26. Age is just a number, we're all damn lucky to be able to have babies anyway!