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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Realistically is 35 too late to plan for my third child?

85 replies

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 07:41

I have DS who is 2.4 and DD who is 21 weeks. I have had quite bad PND after both babies and once I'm (hopefully) over this bout I'd like to have a third child (if we're lucky enough to be able to conceive). However I feel like my body needs a bit of a rest and would like to wait until DD is at school before we tried for #3 by which point i'll be 35. Is this realistic? Anyone else with two reasonably close in age and then a larger gap?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Romily · 31/08/2013 10:43

I had my first at 25 and I am now 35 and expecting our second and I have no concerns at all about the age gap. My hubby and I are both the youngest of two with a large gap and get on well with our siblings and have never felt left out.

When we decided to try for this baby I was concerned it would take a long time however it only took 5 months and I have been feeling fine so far.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 10:45

I am so sorry to of offended - It was more of the whole picture as regards to two lots of PND, wanting to wait until I feel right again, the age gap being v small between first two DCs and then significantly bigger for a potential DC3 (if fertility plays along at 35).

OP posts:

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 10:47

Yes I'm a regular MNetter.

OP posts:

BreasticlesNTesticles · 31/08/2013 10:48

DD1 at 31
DD2 at 32
DC3 currently pregnant at 35.

All of which were conceived within a month. Really, 35 ain't old

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 31/08/2013 10:50

Go for it, had first at 34 and this pregnancy ill be 37 by time it's born... I figure I'm going to feel knackered whether I'm 21 or 41 with a new baby, so in a perverse way I will be feeling like a 21year old in my mind

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 31/08/2013 10:51

I really don't see why people are offended! I'm afraid it is a fact that problems in pregnancy, both with mother and baby, increase massively after the age of 35. Surely there has to be some kind of sliding scale?

I am 34 and am 39+6 with my third. This one was a big surprise, to put it mildly, and I have been and am still much more worried about possible problems this time than I was with my others (who were born when I was in my mid 20s).

Things are likely to be absolutely fine, but no-one can be sure of anything at any age, so you need to think carefully about the risks. You will probably feel much more tired at 35 than you did before - I have felt every year of my age during this pregnancy! Good luck, and really hope the PND cloud clears for you soon.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 31/08/2013 10:52

Ps my mum was 43 when she had her 3rd and vowed he was what kept her do young

mrspaddy · 31/08/2013 10:54

I will be 35 having my first! It did take a while to conceive though..

BumbleChum · 31/08/2013 10:55

I had my first at 36 and my third at 40. I have a friend who couldn't conceive her we one at 28. Fertility is v individual And u don't know how it will go. Not a problem to plan for 35 as long as u accept it might not happen (ditto for any other age really) Families work in all sizes.

BumbleChum · 31/08/2013 10:56

Second not 'we one'!

Armadale · 31/08/2013 10:56

Thanks for that
I'm 38.
I have been trying since 34.
Lost 4.
Presumably you think I was too old to bother trying.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 31/08/2013 11:00

Oh my goodness, it's not the OP's fault! She was simply looking for info/experiences, which is what MN is for.

hettienne · 31/08/2013 11:01

I don't see what is offensive either, but someone will be offended at anything I guess! It's harder to get pregnant after 35, the pregnancy is more likely to be difficult as you get older, the OP will have a bigger age gap, and you'll be heading towards retirement age before all kids have left home. No one has said not to bother trying after a certain age, the OP just wants to recognise possible issues.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 11:02

Armadale - I'm really sorry. I should have worded my OP differently - or at least the title. Hopefully the other posters will have shown that 38 is not 'old' to have even a first baby.

OP posts:

SoonToBeSix · 31/08/2013 11:02

No, not at all

LouiseD29 · 31/08/2013 11:04

Am 36 and just had first DD 10 days ago. Six weeks to conceive, no health concerns during pg and labour quick and natural. I'm hoping to have another one in a few years!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 31/08/2013 11:05

But 38 is old to have a first baby! I'm totally not saying it's wrong, or that it's anybody's "fault" to not have a baby until then, but there is absolutely no way in which 38 is not old to be having a baby, and it's worth giving this due consideration! OP you've done absolutely nothing wrong in asking this question.

SoonToBeSix · 31/08/2013 11:06

Striped you haven't worded anything wrong , people are too sensitive you are asking about your ttc plans nobody else's.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 11:07

Congratulations Louise26!

OP posts:

FrussoHathor · 31/08/2013 11:08

Not too late at all.
I'm 34 dc1 and 2 had a 2.4 yr gap, and DC is 16wks. So a 5yr gap. And dc1&2 both at school before dc3 was born.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 11:10

Thank you - I certainly didn't mean to cause offence. We all have challenges and in my case it's PND. Would have swapped that for having three DCs past 35 with not a hint of it .

OP posts:

hettienne · 31/08/2013 11:11

A couple of generations ago it was quite common for women to have their last babies in their late 30s or even early 40s, after starting in their 20s - the change now is that more women start at that age. My grandmother had her seventh baby at 40.

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 11:13

Frusso - did a part of you question whether you wanted to 'start again' once they were both out of nappies, at school etc? I suppose that's a main concern. We've been able to reuse a lot of stuff as we were all still set up for a baby when DD arrived.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stripedmum · 31/08/2013 11:14

Biologically would we have not 'kept going' until menopause?!

OP posts:

Emmabombemma · 31/08/2013 11:17

I'm 35 and my first is due in November. There no 'too old' these days. OP just do what's right for you x

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