Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

You need to be relaxed as possible with all those hormones raging. Having a spare room is good so everyone has their own space.

Non humane mouse traps here too. It's the only way. Again we have no mice here in the country except in the compost bin. Dirty neighbours have a lot to answer for.

Cardies unbuttoned.

There's no way I could cope with African beasties.

Leaking: Only once when I was pregnant when I held a new born. Freaky!

Dildals love the new pic of Bella. She looks like she's in a nest. I'll upload a new Trenchlet one too.

Hope everyone has a lovely bank holiday weekend. The rain is beating down here...

Just had a thought ... Wouldn't Mariana be a fab NCT teacher? To the point, practical... I think I have learned more on this thread than I would have done at NCT!

Ha! I'll take that as a compliment but I doubt they would have me, I dont think I share their views either. I do think you learn far more from the internet generally though.

I do wish Trenchlet hadnt decided she was getting up at 5am. I'm going to be exhausted by 10am.

Bella and I had an eventful day yesterday. First of all Bella played the trick on me that all babies eventually play on their parents. I was changing her, and I should have known better really. She had been doing a lot of straining and complaining, red head, pushing face. I thought she had finished and felt bad for her being in a pooey nappy. Lesson for next time. Just leave her for a bit until she's properly done. I had a nappy there to 'catch' any after poos, but just as I lifted her legs up (which seems to have a compressing effect on her bowels) she projectile pooed and spray painted the back wall of her incubator mustard yellow... I would have said 'good girl!' if it had happened to anyone else but me!!! I almost called Harvey Keitel, the problem solver, for the clean up job.

Then I went to labour ward today as well ... Last night 2am I got these shooting pains in my right boob and a couple of hrs later I was woken up by these horrendous pains in RHS boob. Because of the pain I could only get minimal milk out and I ended up with Massive Boob. It was so painful I quietly sobbed early Sat morning. It being the weekend the Maternity Assessment Unit was closed but they said the MWs at labour ward would still see me because I was

Oh dildals what a day! Did you find out what was wrong with your breast? Is it ok now? Im sorry you had the labour ward experience. The feelings are so new its bound to be hard. And with such a strong memory trigger its best to avoid the place. So you have experienced your first poonami. It sounds like a rite of passage. But bless bella for BFing and loving it.

I think dildals is right. Mariana you are the oracle. Maybe i could come and live with you for 6 weeks ala Kate Middleton going home to her mum's

Afm I'm at my parents. That is great but bro and SIL from hell are here with Dd's 1 & 2. She only said 3 or 4 insensitive, offensive things yesterday. I find it hard to bite my tongue though and DP says I have to tolerate her for my lovely bro.

We did request that they all refrain from telling us how awful it is going to be and how our lives are never going to be our own again. And laughing at DP because he had a nap in the day. He has been working so hard this week, we are on holiday and we dont have a child yet. His tiredness cant be compared to theirs they have an 8 week old baby. What is wrong with napping while he can? We have wanted this baby for so long. We want to remain positive about the experience even if it will be hard in the beginning. SIL actually said that pregnant, birthing and new mothers have no dignity. I drew the line there

Today we are going to look for a pushchair. Very exciting.

Gin I've joined Sw16 family selling/buying/giving on Facebook. It's good you should have a look. I bought a digital monitor and 3 stair gates yesterday for £35. I've also sent a request to Streatham mums network but haven't heard back from that one yet. Finally Facebook is fun ( yoni worriers) and useful (buying and selling).

Hello to everyone Have a good bank holiday. X

Ps I went for the 4d scan groupon in the end. I'll book it for before 30 weeks which is only a couple of weeks!

Oh dildals what a day! I think babies wait to poo on you as there are not many ways that they can make jokes ;) I'm so pleased she's doing well bf. How awful having to go back to the labour ward, I'm sorry they weren't more useful, and more thoughtful.

shaz I totally agree, nap while you can. I hate it this competitive tiredness, and people always saying it will be awful etc etc. I mean, they have two kids, so they can't hate it that much! How sad that you don't like your sil.

Drumroll please....... We bought our first purchase, a cot!! In kiddicare sale. It was all very overwhelming, all these questions about car seats and travel systems and teats. So we stuck with the cot for now. shaz you do realise they can't crawl for a while so you won't need stairgates seriously, I'm in awe of your organisation.

dildals yes, that is a favourite trick of babies! Did you get some relief for your breast? Sounds like a clogged duct, I'm a bit surprised it took so many hours to sort that out. Very painful but it should pass.

I had to go back to the labour ward where DS was born briefly when having some antenatal appointments and that made me feel nervous 5 years after the event and even when I had a completely positive outcome overall so I'm not surprised you found being on the labour ward stressful. Birth is such an emotional experience, I can't think of anything else that compares. When I saw the MW consultant about my home birth and I was describing what had happened with DS I got teary and she said, "You know, these feelings never leave you" and I found that quite reassuring as I had been feeling a bit silly getting worked up so long after the event.

shazza you mentioned having your mum visit because DH has a show on - I am very lucky in that my mother is a calm, quiet person who knows when to just get on with things. We also pretty well agree on most aspects of baby rearing so I don't have to deal with her telling me off for holding the baby too much (which has happened to a friend of mine with her mother). She is also marvellous with my DS and quite happy to do mundane things like picking him up from school and making his breakfast. So having her around postpartum is ideal but if it were otherwise I would probably think twice. She is not perfect but in this respect she pretty well is!

keep congrats on the cot purchase, at least that is quite straightforward! I am trying to motivate myself to buy stuff for DD and generally prepare but I am finding it hard. I really just want to lie around and do nothing. I have to take an impromptu 6 days off work (which actually means working in bursts when I can justify plonking DS in front of the telly) because DS doesn't go back to school until the 4th and there's no childcare available. So I am working this weekend to make up for it and I am not enjoying it. I might just go to the pool now for a swim, which might help to relax me.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and it is not too rainy where you are (there were torrential downpours here).

Dildals loving the mega poop story, Bella is a little star sounds like boob time went well too. Has the breast pain eased today? I can not imagine how upsetting it must be for you to have to go up to the labour ward. Hope all is going well today, love the fb photo of Bella little hand.

Shazza sorry to hear about the insensitive comments from SIL, we get the same from my DB and SIL. I just ignore them as every child is different and they seem to have forgotten they had a breeze with DC1, but DC2 is the devil child so they have him fresh in their minds. How did buggy purchasing go? We loved the Kiddicare experience, very overwhelming, the staff were so helpful and even showed DH how to fit car seats and bases in our own car. They got us free cups of coffee and cake in their cafe while we were deciding. So we purchased our buggy, car seats, car bases and other bits & bobs all with 10% off.

Keep we have decided to go for nursery furniture from Argos as we can get a full set plus additional cot the same. Did you go for wood or white?
Have you got bedding too? Do you need those bumper things? I am not sure what bedding we actually need other than those cellular blankets, any advice Mariana?

We have a family Christening today with DHs family so no doubt loads of questions about how we are getting on. I am going to take a few scan photos in case anyone wants to see them, I am always a bit nervous of boring people with stuff like that. I now need to find something to wear, I am really conscious of wanting to disguise my bump best as possible. I feel really self conscious at the moment that people will be commenting how big I am or not. I suppose there is no getting away from it as people comment regardless.

Hope everyone else has a lovely weekend planned.

Eventful indeed!

How is your boob now? Do they suspect mastitis or do you have no fever? I hope it's 'just' a blocked duct, these can by eye-wateringly painful. Did you manage to drain it?

Revisiting the ward is traumatic. We had to get post mortem results in an office on the delivery ward and I unexpectedly found myself shaking and crying. With my subsequent pregnancies my consultant offered to transfer me to another hospital but I stayed at that one because despite what had happened, there was no fault ascribed to any of the staff. The situation is not clear cut for you and it would definitely seem better, to me anyway, that you not deliver there again. You have a choice at least, in London.

Yes, the nappy off too soon conundrum. Speaking of nappies I have a Top Tip for you all courtesy of a friend. I was complaining about the cost of nappies and how annoying it is to 'waste' one if the baby poos right after you've put it on. She said save the expensive ones for night time when you know it'll be on for longer and you need something high performance and just use cheaper own brand ones in the day e.g. Asda, Lidl etc.

Hope everyone's enjoying the weekend. We're heading out for a picnic seeing as it's sunny up here.

Oh dildals so sorry you had a difficult day. Its surprising sometimes and can catch you out when you least expect it. Bella sounds like a trooper, congrats on your first splat attack of many! Hope the pain is easing today...as someone who hasn't bf before I have to say it sounds much more complicated and painful than my dictator mw would have me believe!

keep congrats on the first purchase. For us IVF worriers it's one of the first acknodwledgments that This Is Actually Going To Happen! We love kiddicare, looking forward to feeling confident enough to go on a spending spree. I have seen a lovely Moses basket in a second hand children's shop in my village that I keep looking at but not quite there yet...I bought five packs of baby wipes the other day as they were on offer and still worried about that being too babylike even though we use them for dd1!

shazza I have similarly annoying family on both my side and DHs. Hope a good moan at the end of the day is helping you de-stress, it's so rude when people close to you tell you everything. People love to tell you how difficult child-rearing is to make themselves sound like geniuses. In general I think being a parent is mostly fucking awesome with a few interesting days in between to make memories that you can laugh at later. You'll do it your way and love it, fuck em, sounds to me like she is a bit worried that you will be stepping on her 'parent-of-a-beloved grandchild' toes. Napping while you can is an ace idea! DH is out visiting the horses in the field down the road with dd1 am total country bumblefuck an am planning a nap shortly. You sound super organised, I was when I had dd1 and it was great because when she arrived I was able to just relax and spend time with her without running out of stuff or having to watch our money too much on maternity leave because we already had things. I think planning is good for the soul too, it's a long way back down the road after convincing yourself you might never have children and buying things always helped me to accept it was about to happen.

sweetie we got our furniture from a mixture of babies r us and ikea last time, although that was before kiddicare had been invented. I liked cot bumpers as dd used to spin around a lot in her sleep and I was worried she would get her hand or foot stuck in the bars, but I didn't like the huge padded teddy bear ones so we got some plain white ones from idea that did a grand job, only about £8 each I think. We're getting two idea cots this time as we can't fit two cot beds in with the sofa that is in the room, and I think I may need the sofa when there are two screaming babies in the middle of the night! Def going with the mountain buggy duet, I think e sale ends on Tues but it's still too early for us.

I'd second mariana's cheap nappy rule. I changed dd loads in the day and supermarket own brand were fab. I think we used pampers in the night as huggies were a bit squidgy for me but most are great. Hoping to try cloth nappies in the daytime this time I think but need to look into it.

Have had a lovely day...took dd to the theatre to see aliens love underpants (awesome book if you haven't discovered it...dd and I are addicted to kids books, need to do a list of good ones sometime soon) and then went out to a nice restaurant for dinner in the big city - I even went n a tram and everything! The theatre was ace, three mums around us breasted through the show which I thought was lovely and it was really chilled. Made a nice change from being out in a play centre where everyone is bawling at their kids and arguing and felt like a Good Parent for once (doesn't happen very often).

Hope everyone is having a nice chilled weekend, hello to expat, mrsHY, motor, nokaroonie, buzzy and everyone else I have missed!

shazza I can only say I agree with crisps about your SIL and brother. It sounds as though they are either being extraordinarily cynical or are unconsciously trying to keep you in your place as the 'clueless ones'. Yes raising children is hard and tiring but it's really not unrelenting misery! And of course you don't know what it's like before you do it but then that's the same for most things. I did find before I had DS that people enjoyed patronising me about how much my life would change. As it was, it changed a lot in some ways and not at all in others. It's just an easy thing for people to feel superior about.

crisps glad you had a nice day in the city w dd. DH had the honours of taking DS to a playcentre this morning as it was pouring with rain. They are pretty horrific places.

Having thought about it, the real reason why I'm reluctant to start planning and buying for the baby is that it necessitates clearing a lot of rubbish out of DS's room and moving things around (we're moving him into a bigger bedroom which will then be a nursery for him and the baby) and I lack the will. However, I did throw a bunch of rubbish out of our shed, which is a start.

I'm thinking of cloth nappies as well, has anyone tried this? We used disposables with DS because we had a tiny flat and couldn't face it being filled floor to ceiling with drying nappies.

Hello everyone

I took DP to babies r us (the butchering of the English language with the name of this shop gets on my f'king knackers). I had his attention for about ten minutes, the big tool, before he almost wandered off muttering something about wanting to find Star Wars bedding for the nipper. I can see that baby furniture shopping (and accompanying bedding, of course) is something I'll have to do with my mum instead. Fuck only knows what he would put the nipper in if it was left to him. When I broached the subject of us having to purchase bedroom furniture last night, he said 'oh don't worry about that, I'll make it something'. Erm no you won't. You will have over five hundred bucks to me and I'll sort it out. Why do blokes have such a short attention span ?

Anyway.....dildals Bella's poop explosion amused me greatly. Her anties wholeheartedly approve of her behaviour. However, I got really sad for you reading about your trauma at having to go back onto the ward (and yours mariana). Steer clear - don't make it harder for yourself than this already is. I hope you are feeling a bit better today...these things obviously take time and you're doing brilliantly, considering what you've all been through.

shazza your SIL sounds bloody ghastly. You and DP will do things your way and will be awesome parents so she can go and stick her head in a bucket of pigswill. I reckon the girls are right - she doesn't want to share the breeding limelight with you. Well, tough. . Are you spending the whole week with her ?

crispywispy my sweary MN double. Fuckitty fuck fuck, fucky fucky fuck. Sounds like you had a great day with DD. Do you have a MW who graduated from Tit School ? I have to say, I am quite sceptical about the Tit Police and their patronising ways because not everyone can BF (or BF exclusively) and I hate it when they are then made to feel like a failure. I was researching the other night about BF, mixed bottle and boob and mixed boob and bottle formula feeding (just because I like to know what all of the options are !) and happened upon the nct website. Well, I have to say that they seem part of the Tit Stasi - what is everyone else's experience ? mariana I think you said that you don't agree with their stance on everything -is this why ? Sorry to ask, but I am so curious about all this and really would like to read-up on it all before I give birth. Also, if the nct classes are going to be like one long sermon of the virtues of the mammaries (and that you are a slovenly slapper who is bound to have their child taken into care if you can't give your baby the boob) then I will give it a miss as I'm bound to be thrown out for doing a Gregg Wallace.

fairy I think you mixed it up with a bottle with DS. Was this easy to introduce ?

mariana top nappy tip. I also love your list as it has really helped me to sort out what I need to get and when. I reckon if I ever met you in real life, I would just grab hold of your right leg and never let go stalker

sweetie have a lovely time at the christening.

keep woohoo on the cot purchase.

mrsh expat motor and buzzbuzzbuzzBUZZ how is it going y'all ? And anyone else I have forgotten.

Noks xx

And gin too !

Oh yeah....while I'm here rambling like a mental, make sure you check your account with your gas/electricity providers. Mine were holding onto over a thousand pounds of my money. I'm not joking either. I had to provide a meter reading for both (as I hadn't done it for months) and logged onto my account only to find that my account was massively in credit. Even with up to date meter readings, they still owed me over a grand. Now, the timing of the rebate is fabulous but.....they are such a bunch of robbing whorebags that they won't refund you unless you approach them. It's just worth checking.....you never know. Xx

I missed everyone's early morning posts, must have kept the browser window open for too long without refreshing.

Argh at your SIL shazza, I hate hate hate that attitude. My BIL is like that and it drove me fucking nuts. No advice but much sympathy. It doesn't stop either as after I had DD1 he kept saying 'oh wait until you have two... Ho ho ho' while I cursed him.

Sweetie Baby bedding: I absolutely swear by sleeping bags, but they have to be of a certain weight to go in them. 7lb something I think. I bought a swaddle wrap from Gro this time which was good but you can do the sane with a cellular blanket. The Gro wrap is stretchy and easier to use though they can still escape, kick everything off and then wail piteously. Trenchlet now has a fitted sheet on the cot mattress then she goes in her grobag on top of that and that's it. I have grobags from DD1 going up to 2 years and then I'll put her in a bed. The bags are good because they can't kick them off, you know how warm they are and it's easy to adjust clothing layers to make sure they don't overheat, and eventually they get the message that once they're in their bag it's sleep time and it helps them settle. When you're breastfeeding you just lift the baby out and feed them and because they stay in their bag they stay warm and snuggly. Grobag ones are good, wash and dry well but are expensive although you can almost always get them in TKMaxx. I have 2.5 tog and 1 tog in each size.

keep, well the cot is a very good start! The travel stuff is overwhelming, I'd just decide a maximum cost and go for whatever you can get for that. Some are better than others but none will be truly awful. Even my shit 3rd hand Chicco functioned. It just wasn't as whizzy as my current Mamas and Papas one, which presumably isn't as whizzy as a Bugaboo.

The general safety advice is never to use cot bumpers as they are seen as a suffocation risk. However, they are widely on sale because as crisps says, babies do get their arms and legs stuck through the bars and wake themselves up. I was too nervous to use bumpers so I improvised and using net curtain I fashioned a wide band around the cot that I wove in and out of the bars and then tied very tightly so it was taut enough to stop limbs going through the bars but impossible to suffocate the baby. It looked pretty nuts but worked. I could provide detailed instructions on how to do this if anyone wants.

fairy your mum sounds like mine. She's great to have around and is coming to help me when DH buggers off again next week. I feel for you with the childcare / school gap. We have 5 whole days when nursery has finished but school yet to start. I'm going to have to decide on a billion activities to keep dd1 busy. Otherwise she is quite capable of throwing a five day tantrum with occasional sleeps. Mind you, I had her cleaning the bathroom floor earlier so she is easily entertained.

sweetie, hope the christening went ok and you weren't too annoyed by people prodding you.

crisps, you're terribly cultured ain't ya?! We have the Aliens / Underpants book although it's not one of DDs favourites. That's a great idea though to do a list of decent ones as there's so 18 carat shite out there masquerading as children's books.

Mega post here and more to come... (It's a long feed!)

noks have you been smoking something we went to B&Q and Barry was looking at all the Thomas the Tank Engine stuff at the tit stasi, I won't feel like a failure if I can't manage to use the boob, I plan to give it a good go though you are right for some it just doesn't happen

shazza I totally disagree with your DP, you are a pregnant woman not a fucking martyr, why do you have to put up with her shite just because she is married to your brother I would have ripped her tongue out by now, me hormonal absolutely not

This is something that bothers you and rightly so, I think they are being totally disrespectful, your SIL sounds very insecure and competitive, perhaps she is worried that the dynamics in the family will change when you have the youngest grandchild, just speculation on my part,

I think you need to put something in writing saying that you are happy that they have 2 lovely children to be cousins to shazzlett but this is your one and only time at being a new parent and you would like to experience and discover all the highs and lows yourselves. Also state that if you feel you need some advice in the future you will ask, right now you just need their love and support,finish up by saying you are looking forward to seeing them sometime soon.

If it is writing then you have a copy of what you have said so they can't say you were rude or unreasonable.

dildals sorry about your experience, I have to say I was surprised taht there is little healthcare available on the weekends, back home it is very different,I hope they checked you out, I can understand being back on the labour ward was upsetting, I felt the same going back to EPAU, never wanted t go back there again.
Your poo story has made me decide that I need rugs in my place as I have stupid light coloured carpets

fairy I have some cloth nappies given to me and plan to use them, will have the other kind for when we go out, we need to swap our rooms over but the thought of having to sort it is too much to think of right now, plus where to put cat

crisps glad yo had a lovely day with DD, I shall add that book to my list

sweetie I hope the christening went ok

We have been busy with DIY, fixing up the mess from the new windows Barry has done a grand job on the sills and the cat agreed as she left her paw mark of satisfaction behind, I have cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom, and I am now totally knackered, I did catch up with a couple of old work colleagues and came home sober from seeing them for the first time ever.

Breastfeeding. Hmmm. I am a fairly committed breast feeder but I can't fucking stand the way it's pushed down your throat and the way formula feeding is demonised. Whatever you do, you are feeding your baby and that is all that should matter. I would feel less angry about the hard sell on breast feeding if they would at least acknowledge that it's not alway easy. It is for some people but it certainly wasn't for me in the early weeks at least. I'll be honest and say I have no idea how you'd EBF twins. I see how you could express and mix feed but not EBF, surely you would do nothing else. Also mixed feeding is never mentioned when that can be a nice compromise.

fairy, never tried cloth nappies. My sister did and got on fine with them. I feared the initial set up cost and also the tumble dryer costs. I wish I didn't rape the planet every time I change my baby but I rape the planet in so many other ways too it seems but a drop in the ocean. It's Pampers and Boots own all the way here.

noks get off my leg woman! I've already said I'm uncomfortable with the way bf is promoted and I didn't do NCT classes so this is only what I've heard but yes, they seem quite full on. The main reason I'm not keen though is their stance on pain relief and interventions in labour. Now they swear blind they aren't judgemental and you can't really see it in their literature but again, anecdotally, I have heard some of their group leaders attitudes that absolutely appalled me, really scaremongering about epidurals and sections. They did used to be called the Natural childbirth trust and I think that seems to still be their remit, albeit unofficially. Natural childbirth works for some people and that's great, but it does have a tendency to kill women and babies and I strongly suspect that neither I nor DD1 would be here if it weren't for epidurals and forceps.

Anyway. I'll stop ranting. We had a lovely day out and I prowled round a few village churches. I was moved to tears by gravestones listing four or five children from the same families who all died in infancy. So sad and yet so common then.

Am now about to have an enormous glass of wine and watch DH watching the cricket.

x posts with mariana thanks for the tip about the grobags, did make think about tomatoes though :)

noks I had to go back to a course one day a week 3 weeks after DS was born. So DH looked after him from 8:30-7pm that day - he was freelance at the time so it wasn't really difficult. I would express milk at the break times, morning and afternoon and DH would bring DS to me at lunchtime (the college wasn't far from our flat) so I could give him a guzzle then. In between he had a bottle of expressed milk. He had no problem with 'nipple confusion' or anything like that but as I said before, he was a dream to BF from the start. It was a bit of a drag expressing in the loos at the college during the breaks when everyone else would be grabbing a cappucino or a cigarette though. I also found that I would sometimes get the equivalent of a shy bladder, if other people were in the loo and it was quiet the milk just wouldn't flow (the pump I had was quite squeaky and I used to get very embarrassed wondering what the hell people thought i was doing in there!) It also wasn't so great carrying a breast pump around with me along with my books but I managed to keep it unobtrusive most of the time.

He only got a bottle that one day a week and I expressed to keep up the supply so it didn't affect that either. I finished the course when he was about 5 months old and I didn't give him a bottle again until he started nursery at 8 months. I started back at work 3 days a week and quickly realised I just could not manage expressing along with work, it was too much planning and effort. So I stopped after a few months and luckily DS decided at the same time he only liked formula in the bottle so that's what he had at nursery. I still BF'd him the other 4 days a week exclusively and it was fine. I only would sometimes get quite engorged by the end of a work day.

Sorry v long post about BFing! BTW I had the opposite experience with my gas/electricity provider, they suddenly told me in June that I owed them £300! But they've never actually asked for it nor have they adjusted my direct debit so I'm just laying low.

mariana you are, as always right about the grobags, they rule. Such a brilliant idea and no worry ever about the little one getting tangled up or uncovered and as you say you can lift them out of the cot at night for a feed and back down with no probs. I also justified disposables by thinking well I am harming the planet so much more just by producing another first world resource guzzler so really the harm is minor in comparison but this time I am wondering if I should be more strict. DH is totally against it and he was in charge of nappy changing previously so perhaps I should defer to him or else risk having to take that over as well.

I love the image of DD cleaning the bathroom floor with you! DS is also v keen to 'help' and sometimes I am able to exploit him quite shockingly. I wonder how long this will last. Is your DD starting reception? I hope it goes well. DS had a great reception teacher and it all went smoothly last year but it was a bit scary at first (for both of us).

Fairy your DS sounds like the perfect breast feeder! I don't think I'll ever have a day off until Trenchlet is fully weaned.

Yes DD is starting reception, she was only 4 last week so she is the youngest in her year. She's quite mature physically (she's strangely tall considering I'm 5'5" and DH is 5'9") and academically, but she's very much a 3 year old emotionally.

buzzy I would never dare put stuff in writing like that. Perhaps it's better to be explicit though. I try to be quite open with my siblings but it has mixed results. I don't live their spouses as much as I might love them...

We've just sat outside and drank a bottle of wine. Trenchlet slept on DH the whole time. Was really lovely. And he's off tomorrow so yet more joint parenting. Hurrah!

mariana were you a bit tipsy last night ? . Thanks for the NCT heads-up. I'll seek some reviews of the classes where I am and then make a decision. One of the advantages of doing a class is that it would be lovely to meet people in the same boat as us , but then I think that I'll do that anyway eventually.

fairy thanks for the Boob Bulletin. Very useful information. I will definitely try the boob. I think that there are many options between either the boob or the bottle and just in case I'm having a bit of trouble, I would like to have these options in my mind other than 'give the nipper a bottle' and take him/her off the boob. My mate has recently had a bit of a hard time with all this which is why I'm keen to research it now.

buzz I am high on life my darling. We went to Winchester today. We were shown around the cathedral by a lady called Judy who was so posh, she called pizza PIT-ZA.

Where is shazza ? Has she been arrested for shoving a succession of cream pies in her SIL's face ?

I can always set up a 'free the mumsnet shazza one' page on fb if we need to bail shazza out. I'm no stranger to in-law rage myself, I think it gets worse when you have a child as you have more to clash over!

nokkityfuckity hee to the tit Stasi. I generally don't like being told what to do so sometimes want to not bf the twins just to piss mw off. My own mum thinks bf is a bit 'unnatural' though which always makes me laugh. Am going to try to do what I can but also will allow myself to sleep and eat at the same time. Have also just and a mahoosive bill from the 'Leccy so you must be a lucky one!

fairy if the twins are like your EC then I'll have no problem I think. Good to hear some positive stories as most of my friends have had a bit of a nightmare bfing.

Def going to give cloth nappies a go but not exclusively...mainly for when I am at home I think. Our bins are only emptied every two weeks and used to reek when dd was in nappies so can't imagine how it will be with double the amount. We have a utility room so can keep them in there along with all the other shit we seem to accumulate

Have found an NCT alternative in my area...never went with DD and always regretted it but feel a bit of a nana going when I already have a child. It's called lazy daisy antenatal...they have classes all over. A mix of antenatal yoga and some general hype birthing stuff but is mainly about having a positive birth experience....living out in the sticks means there is a dsistinct lack of anything like that within a 15 miles radius but this is just up the road. It seems quite open minded and one of DHs friend says it is good...only £30 for six weeks too so a lot cheaper. The lady who runs the courses in my area said she had a bad first labour experience and did the classes to make sure she still felt positive about the second one which seems on my wavelength so am going to give it a go.

In laws are collecting dd for the day today so am going to go in to work to set up for next week and then sit on my arse all afternoon reading and generally doing sod all. Can't wait, am exhausted and ms has returned with a vengeance, the bastard. Have only put on 1kilo from the start of oregnancy so far due to all the puking despite having a big bump. A, going to be a size zero with a six pack from all the heaving by the end I reckon. I'm a bit worried I'm not big enough but mw and hospital seem to be happy.

List of books we love: (excuse lack of capitals, iPad has a fit when I try to punctuate properly)
The Tiger who came to tea
The snail and the whale (my favourite!), sharing a shell, tabby mctat, and most Julia Donaldson ones but these are our favourites
Giraffes can't dance
Each peach pair plum (esp for the smaller ones)
aliens love underpants
We're going on a bear hunt.

Dd has a huge bookshelf which is full already, we read a few every day. I've just started reading the faraway tree Enid Blyton books to her which are tripper than I remember but still awesome!

crisps I read the snail and the whale to Bella the other day! :-)

Question for the already-mums. What did you do about blinds in the nursery? The advice is to make it as dark as possible, I was thinking of buying those black out blinds that you can suction cup to the window, rather than buying special black out blinds. My experience with various 'black out' blinds is that they black out jack shit.

Oh and Shazza I was thinking of organising a meetup to check out the South London sling library. Not in the immediate future but maybe in the next 5-6 weeks or so? Before Bella comes home and I have no time to shake my tail. Or do you think it is better to go Mit Baby?

Crisps that alternative to NCT sounds great. Had to laugh at your mum not think bf is natural but she's probably that generation that hardly ever bf. My mum did bf but says she was considered a bit of a hippy for doing so. All my in-laws think I'm odd for having done it at all. Especially until the baby is one! My 93 year old grandma bottle fed back in the 1950s and is always telling me that Trenchlet has such long feeds because I'm not producing enough milk and should get her on a bottle.

Dildals They'll have (scary lifelike) dolls at the sling library.

I had black out blinds that fitted to a small bay window using Velcro tape. They were excellent at blacking out the room but a bit of a pain to open and close because it was three windows in one. Mine also had suckers which made them portable and I did take them on holiday with us. The trouble with totally blacking out your baby's room is that when you go and stay elsewhere and the room isn't blacked out they will wake at 5am or whenever it gets light, DD1 still does. For that reason I'm not going with a full on black out approach this time and have a black out roller blind fitted in the nursery, which as you say, isn't hugely effective but ok..

Tiddler - agree that all Julia Donaldson's are good.
Hairy Maclary, Slinky Malinky etc. the whole lot have been popular here.