Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Ha motor I think we've all had a few days out. You'd think nothing of it apart from we all know our dates. Three days ahead is nothing if you think about the accuracy. My scans were always +/- 7 days at that stage. (and I was a week ahead at 12 weeks but then later back to normal).

shaz i did the exact same thing the other day as inspired by reading the Bounty magazine while waiting for my scan. I think it's the first time we communicated, so I was a little teary. Also sometimes I get these huge internal thumps, that I can't quite pinpoint where Kip's kicking. It's quite an odd sensation. I'm stopping on the 1st Nov, at 36 weeks. But am not starting till the week after next... That's so great you can work from home.

dildals did you feel like the voice of experience then, having to bite your tongue? I'm glad the couples were welcoming even if the teacher wasn't really. I guess you're the opposite of all their non intervention crap but look at you persevering BF in these circumstances. You're doing amazingly. And I'm glad DH hasn't gone back to work. There's no rush surely. I hope his work are being understanding about it. I too am always amazed at the grunting and groaning from newborns, even those bigger ones at term. And if you think little Bella's tummy is not really designed for milk just yet. Are you about 32 weeks equivalent now?

fairy i can't remember if you found out the sex or not? Let me try a list
Expat - unknown
Fairy - ?
Shaz - unknown
keep - unknown
mrshy - girl i think
sweetie - one of each
crisps - babies were uncooperative so going back next week
i think that's all of us who are past 20 weeks so far?

Just popping in quickly, so pleased to hear of the good scans sweetie and motor!

Wanted to let you know mamas and papas have 30% off all weekend... I can feel a splurge coming on...

Keep - I'm having a little girl, 'definitely' according to the scanner!

Hope you all have good days

shazza, I've known lots of people who've had babies and not a single one of them hasn't coped. You will be absolutely fine, I promise! The only thing I wish I'd known is that the first 6 weeks are the hardest, the next 6 still quite tough, but it gets an awful lot easier after that.

Aw at her prodding you back. I like to think it's communication.

Trenchlet is known by several different names already. It's bizarre the nicknames that emerge for babies.

Oops meant crisps not sweetie, sorry!

Yes Keep she's 32 weeks plus now. She'll be 33 on Monday.

mariana glad you confirmed Trenchlet does the same! :-)

keep I'm having a girl. She will sometimes push back if I prod her in the right place. At the moment her bum is sticking out quite a bit on the right side of my bump so I keep poking her there. She will no doubt grow up with a complex about her bottom!

shazza like mariana says, the first 6 weeks are the worst but you will cope and be a great mum. Just don't aim for perfection or feel you 'have to' do anything. Most of all do not feel you have to follow some regime set out in a book (either on the attachment parenting or the 'cry it out' side) or else the baby will be "spoiled" and you will still be sleepless and bonkers four years later. Just do what seems like the right thing because each baby is different as is each parent.

I have to say that I found BFing very easy. I had a bit of pain when the letting down was established and my nipples were sore for a while and a couple of bouts of mastitis but actually getting sufficient milk in DS was no problem. He latched on immediately after birth with no problems, I think maybe because he was a very robust baby who could practically hold his head up from birth. It definitely wasn't anything I did in particular so I guess I was just lucky. He did used to get terrible wind but he would when bottle feeding as well (I had to go back to a course one day week 3 weeks after giving birth so DH would look after him that day and give him a bottle of expressed milk).

Shazza at our counselling session for using DE we were asked about our worries and I mentioned ability to cope. The counsillor actually said lots of people feel very daunted with coping with parenting so I don't think anything you are feeling is out of the ordinary. As the others say of course you will cope, sometime it will be tough but you will get through those times and it sounds like you have very supportive DP and family network.

Dildals lovely to hear about Bella doing all the normal things like breaking wind, bless her. I can imagine her little face when boob comes towards her, I bet she is a little startled. Your NCT class sound like they are in for a shock and this is one of the reasons I am in two minds about joining one myself. I think they gloss over too much that we need to know, it is an expensive way to meet other new Mums. I feel for you DH too, it must be so difficult for him to be at work leaving you and Bella behind.

Mariana DH admitted to leaving the back door open due to the dryer being on and it getting very warm in the utility room. So the slugs may have taken advantage during this time, this is what I am hoping as I can not cope with slugs in any shape or form, give me spiders, mice or insects any day. I would have to move too, even though we have only moved in 6 weeks ago.

I am trying to ignore the fact we have had a couple in the conservatory too which is where I intend spending most of my time with the babies when they arrive. DH has already been around the skirting boards with clear silicone. Is there anything else we can do? I don't really want to use poison as we have a dog who I would be scared of eating anything we left down.

I bought a sack of salt and poured it into every crack and hole in the kitchen using a plastic funnel (ours was an old house with stripped floorboards with some big gaps, especially round pipes under the sink which is where I think they came in). I filled smaller holes and gaps with sealant and stuffed larger ones with wire wool! I couldn't fill them all though so they did keep coming in. Your dog will probably take one lick at the salt and then avoid it and it won't harm him. Good luck, they are vile.

sweetie we had slugs in our last rental (which was a major impetus to buy!). They danced across the living room carpet every night and up the kitchen cupboards onto the cutting board (shudder). We eventually resorted to pouring slug poison around the skirting boards downstairs, which worked thank god. At the time though DS was a v young baby and we could keep him away from it and our cat was canny enough not to touch it. I think they make the poison very bitter so that pets should spit it out but it depends on the individual animal - I have known some dogs who will eat virtually anything. Maybe you could get someone to take the dog for a few days? It didn't take more than that to kill off the whole colony.

Oh god, I used to come down to their trails up the walls! it makes you all OCD. Once I went down at 2am as Dd was ill and I needed a cup to give her a drink. There was a 2inch monster on the floor. I nearly gagged. I always kept everything I might need in the night upstairs from then on and wouldn't go downstairs before DH if at all possible. Despite our rural life now we have far less vermin in this house than in the inner city.

i have been reading an old MN thread about slugs and feel sick now. We are going to have to go down the poison route I think, or can you get people in to sort them out? I cannot stand the thought of having new borns where the slugs have been. We have recently moved to this house, it is only 15 years old. I wasn't expecting this problem as I don't think it is damp and doesn't have the nooks and crannies of an older house. The dog sleeps in a crate with a blanket on the top to keep it dark for her and I noticed the trails on her blanket but the floors are laminate downstairs so we can not see where they have been unless we actually come across them.
We had mice in our last house and I wasn't so bothered by this as I am about the slugs. Off the further Google getting rid of slugs.

But if they're coming in through an open door that's ok isn't it? Just keep the door closed? If not then I'm sure poison will see them off. Or get a hedgehog.

I don't think slugs are dirty or carry diseases, do they? They're just slimy and gross. I'd worry about the dog too sweetie - they just eat anything, don't they?

motor good news on the scan, I wouldn't worry about the measurement I was always 2-3 days behind at this stage

sweetie can I ask if you had DE ??

shazza I think tears are natural, I am surprised I haven't been in tears more, its a long emotional rollercoaster, I think most people are unaware of what is really instore for them when they have a baby, it depends on each couple and how they manage in general, I haven't read read any books and I'm in no great rush to, I think you can have too much information. I love the story about little shazzlett :)

dildals glad Bella is still doing well

Buzzy yes I had donor eggs. I had done ivf with my own but was a poor responder. I only made 1 egg on 450 of menopur. Happy to answer any questions.

sweetie Mine is DE, but I went overseas as I could not do egg sharing here in the UK, we only had one shot so didn't bother with my own

we had slugs in our previous flat. One night I went to the kitchen in the dark and stepped on one barefoot!!! EEEK!

Dildals eugh that is horrible

Buzzy I had my treatment here in uk with Care. They were brill. we had a dedicated donor but only got 5 eggs. At the time I was gutted but look at me now - pregnant with twins and we have a blasto on ice. We used the embiescope to monitor the embies, I am convinced this increased our chances. How was the overseas experience?

at the slugs. Must be the time of year for critter invasions, as we were kept up last night be a mouse seemingly chewing floorboards! Argh. Anyone know of humane ways of getting rid?

Again, motor great news about the scan. Not long til the 12 weeks one now.

shazz sorry to hear about the tears but am sure hormones must have a part to play. I had a little pity cry last night, as was just so knackered and had awful trapped wind. I then felt guilty as I so so wanna be pregnant! Hope you are feeling a little better. I think shazzlet is due just as I start my mat leave :)

I've too have been feeling a tad overwhelmed about all the stuff we need to get and decisions to be made. At least the buggy is one thing I don't have to think about, as we're buying my colleague's. It's so odd to find myself obsessing about baby gros at 1am... However after my M&P splurge I feel a bit better and I know realistically we have ages to get stuff. There's just a lot to think about!

Go bella and her huge fart! I hope you were proud dildals. The NCT BF advice sounds a bit crap. Think we have a 3 hour session on it in our classes, eek! I hope Mr D is doing ok. Must be so hard for you both with him back at work. Have you got any 'rents nearby ?

I'm planning to give BF a go, but try not to be too bothered if I really can't get on with it she says. Btw, is anyone else leaking a bit? I have small crusty patches on my bra already and have done since about week 20. Urgh, maybe it's boob cheese...

Am loving poopoulets too fairy. Sounds v cute, unlike the reality!

keep I'm hoping to get away with pre preggo cardis and blazers unfastened and maybe just investing in 1 jumper for when it's proper cold. I think Top Shop and JoJo mamon have some, but not sure how smart they are.

crisps my gp mentioned ranitidine, but said she'd rather not give it to me unless totally necessary, boo. I now have a ginormous bottle of gaviscon, so I can have a gaviscon chaser after every meal! Congrats on the scan! I too am aiming for the 24 week target (in 2 days time!) and then the 28 week one. Does anyone else feel like you get to one supposed pregnancy milestone, expecting to feel better, but then realise there's another one and the the target has changed?

DE seem to have such a great success rate. If the FET hadn't worked, I was going to do an egg sharing round as a way of funding another ivf cycle. I really like the idea of giving someone a chance, but I'll be just too old by the time ginster is born. They really need to change the age legislation over here and do it on individual fertility rather than a random cut off.

Waves to everyone else.

Does anyone know anything about paternity leave? DH is starting a new job and HR have told him he won't be entitled to anything, not even unpaid, as he's new. Am shocked that in this day and age there are no statutory requirements around PL. We're hoping they'll be flexible and let him bring forward some leave from next year

Hi guys, according to BBC breakfast slugs can have toxins that affect dogs. Talking of dogs, if any of you have one do you have a strategy for introducing it to baby?

Shazza, yes have been tearful throughout the pregnancy. Sometimes it's been for a specific reason but often it's an outlet for the thousands of random stressy thoughts. The fact that you worry will be what makes you a lovely mum. We've carried a lot of tension with us during the quest to get pregnant and it needs to be released somehow.

gin my DH just started a new job 1 July and isn't entitled to PL either. You have to have worked 26 weeks for your employer by the 15th week before the expected due date (see www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave/eligibility). However they have said they will let him take a few days off unpaid - it would be rather draconian to say he can't take any time off at all! What if you have a long labour, is he supposed to leave you and go to work? He certainly wouldn't be effective at all.

Luckily my mother is going to come for a month so I don't really need DH to be around all the time after the birth, in fact it is preferable to have my mum because she is much better at looking after me than DH! But if I didn't have her I would be very anxious about not having DH at home for at least a week or two.

I had leaky breasts a few times around 20 weeks but haven't had it since. Bit odd since you'd think it would only start later on but I guess it was just my body adjusting to the hormones.

I'm a bit amazed at how prevalent the slug infestation problem is. At the time I thought it was just us and we had somehow attracted them by our slovenliness. We had to have a housesitter for a few weeks while the slugs were still around and I was completely ashamed by it.

DE success rates do sound very good. I would have been completely up for it if the first round of IVF hadn't worked since the idea doesn't bother me and anything to improve the chances would have been attractive.

fairy I was planning on having my mum come down too and you are so right about mums being better at looking after us (and keeping the house clean) than DHs! As you say any work place would have to be v mean not to give a few days to allow the father to attend the birth.

al you must be so near now! Hope all's ok.

Hello girls

Feeling much better today. Maybe cause I'm 'working' from home and I'm going away tonight for a week.

Motor you are almost at the 12 week mark which is fantastic. My dates changed twice as well.

Gin thanks for the M&P sale tip. I'm having a shopathon this weekend so will go. I think mothercare also have a sale. And so do kiddicare for that matter. Sadly I'm abit of a mouse expert after we had a terrible infestation that lasted a year i was desperate by the end. Luckily our neighbours moved, the house and garden was a tip and filthy and the mice seem to have stopped now they have moved thank goodness. I'm afraid that the only way was little nipper traps for the odd one or two although I couldn't empty them DP had to do that. But when the squirrels came to settle in the loft as well i had to get a man in and we had poison put down. It goes under the kitchen cupboards and in hidden places but I would do it now before Ginster arrives.

Im not leaking but my left nipple is very sore. It looks like a couple of the ducts are blocked and abit swollen. Any tips?

Yuk to all the slug stories. Dildals it is gross to have stepped on one I did step on a mouse once when I was washing up and it made a dash for it. I was very upset.

Fairy re your mum staying. I was thinking of asking mine to do the same for a week or so. DP has a show booked just after shazlett is due so he will be really busy painting and prepping. It's not ideal timing but we need the sales so he has to do it. I was wondering how to manage my mum while I'm learning about a newborn. I guess you have done it before so it's different. Any tips welcome.

Finally what are your thoughts on 4d scans? There is a groupon offer for £99. I've looked and the package is usually over £200. I wouldn't do it for full price but I'm thinking it might be a nice record. I don't want to find out the gender and also I'm worried it might spoil the mystery if we can see Shazlett in colour. Has anyone thought of doing this?

Have a good day x

shaz I had 4D scans at both 13 weeks and 20 weeks in Thailand. The 13 week one was a bit weird as it looks quite like an alien, but at 20 weeks it was super cute. I think they say don't go after about 30 weeks as the baby is too big and you can't see much. While it was nice to see, and it looks so much more like a baby than the 2d one, I'm not sure i'd pay £99 for it. Having said that, if you were thinking of having a scan anyway then it's not much more. I don't think it'd spoil the 'surprise', and you can just look away when they get to the 'nether regions' (am my sonographer called them last week). At the size shazlett is they won't be on display the whole time, just as they move down the body.

My worst slug experience was when I put on a shoe and a slug was in there. Oh god it was revolting. We then moved to Africa and I was paranoid about more sinister things lurking in shoes, and always shook them out before moving on.

It looks like there are loads of sales on at the moment. Maybe we will start to get our arses in gear this weekend and buy some stuff, as while it seems like there is ages (26 weeks today!), I guess you just never know.

Oh gin i've had v small amounts of whitish stuff coming out of my nipples since maybe 15 weeks. It's a bit gross and I scrape it off. It's not liquid though. I'm strangely jealous you're leaking - how weird is that?!

I had my mum to stay and she was absolutely brilliant, but we get on very well these days so she knows how to play it. She stays quite a lot and can just get on with things. If you have a tense relationship it might not be a good idea as y