Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Ooh slinky malinky? Is that an actual book, if so then it must be one of the only ones we haven't got!

Re blackout blinds...I bought some from Wilkos secret guilty pleasure, my favourite shop! for about £10 that we fitted ourselves, with curtains in front it does a pretty good job. The man from hillarys said theirs wouldn't black any more light out. I did hear about magic Whiteboard which is a stationery product that can be cut to size and just stuck onto the windows for total blackout but I don't think it's something to remove every day...I guess it depends on whether you would want to use the nursery in the day or not.

dildals I love the snail....the bit where the snail says she feels so small is lovely! am blubbering fidiot. Try giraffes can't dance next if you don't have it already, it has a similarly lovely bit at the end which gives you a nice squishy feeling.

Sitting on my fat arse is going well...have read 5 trashy magazines and caught up with emmerdale so far. Have a couple of hours left before pils return and raise their judgmental eyebrows at me feeding dd vegetables and expecting her to sit to the table. I think people of our age were raised in the eighties on formula in a bottle, crispy pancakes and oven chips and so anything remotely 'good' seems a bit hippy!

Hello girls

I'm not in jail. Just a caravan in Torquay with my 'rents, DP and darling niece 1. We are actually having a lovely time although darling niece is very constipated. This is nearly 3rd day. I'm hoping that you mothers out there might have some words of wisdom please? Bless her little heart she is away from home and in pain. She loves nanny and Grampy and aunty shazza and is good as gold and I want to be able to help her.
Thanks for all support re SIL from hell. Thankfully we are on our own now. She is a nightmare. I think that it is a very astute observation to say that I am held as the hapless one. I've always been the one that is all high heels and no sense.

Keep congrats on the cot. Major purchase. Are you settled in now? How is Kip?

Fairy are you enjoying your week? I'm hoping to use cloth nappies eventually. I thought we'd start with disposables as there will be enough to think about. Someone has promised us some but I'm not sure which brand.

Sweetie how was the christening? Be proud of your bump. I'm sure it is beautiful and you are carrying your lovely babies.

Mariana I've become intimately acquainted with hairy maclary over these past few days.

Crisps lazy daisy sounds perfect and a right bargain. The theatre sounds fun.
Nokity Noks I feel for you with DP. I thought I had the biggest Star Wars fan. I had to steer him away from a very fancy futuristic looking Quinny because it looked liked a storm trooper.

Buzzy very true re SIL. I'm not sure she will listen to me. She is a law into herself.

Dildals I'll defo come to the sling library.
Hello to everyone else. We haven't heard from ceara for a while. And expat you are nearly there.

Very quickly as for me I finally bought a pushchair. The mountain buggy cosmopolitan. I love it. It's abit bigger than I was looking for but it's great.

Oh and I was approached by a woman who asked if I would be interested in doing one born every minute! She said I had beautiful hair . Anyway I said that I didn't think that a Hypno home birth would be dramatic enough for them.

I'd better go now. They are all waiting for me to eat.

Have a good evening. Xx

What?! shaz you absolutely HAVE to do it! Hypnobirth would be great for them!

Am gonna watch the Midwives tonight as its set where I'm giving birth.

Will catch up properly tomorrow but Omg shaz!

Do it shaz! It would be ace!

Re constipation...my only remedies would be apple juice, warm bath (or shower on tummy if there is a shower in the caravan?) and clockwise massage on the abdomen. Theres a good naturalish remedy called calfig or califig that you can get from supermarkets, quite gentle if it is for a child. Hope she feels better soon!

shazza you have a Yoscar. You are a member of the Yoni Warriors. If anyone was destined for foof superstardom, it's you. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

crisps I think I need to let go of mariana's leg for a bit and cuddle yours. That Lazy Daisy thingamy sounds right up my alleyway. I have found a class which isn't too far away from me and will ring the lady tomorrow. Oh and top slobbing about today, by the way. I was nodding in agreement with your schedule this afternoon. I caught-up with the first episode of the Great British Bake-Off this afternoon and decided that Mel and Sue need to be repeatedly punched in their condescending, supercilious, patronising faces until they are surely dead. They actually made me quite angry for the rest of day. They are about as funny as uncontrollable bowel movements or ecoli. They are most dfinitely on the bus/in the lift.

keep I saw that midwives programme was on but am avoiding anything like that as I don't want to wcare this shit out of myself . It is any good or should we all avoid it ?

dildals how are you doing ? Xx

Hello to everyone else.

mariana I shall be back on your leg soon. Promise.

shazza you have to do it

noks it makes my skin crawl when people say pizza like that, learn to speak bloody english

I will catch up on the last couple of weeks of news tomorrow - wow, lots to read.

Sorry to have disappeared. It's been a bit of a month - there have been three deaths in the family in the space of as many weeks; the last of my grandparents' generation of the family leaving the building all at once. I guess they wanted company for the journey or something... But as I said, a bit of a month. Bizarrely, infertility rage resurfaced at one point ("if I'd got pregnant in the normal way and time they'd have met great-grandchild / great-great-niece-or-nephew (and vice versa)") - but I guess that's the grieving process doing it's thing. I don't want to drag the thread down so nuff said on sad news.

So pleased Bella is doing well. Yaay!

So, the midwives programme. I watched a bit. The news in brief is we are all completely screwed, the way to go for an easy birth in 3 - 6 hours flat is to get knocked up at 16; older women ie over 30 ie us, don't labour so well and find it harder to relax and have more difficulties. Oh and we sometimes have to shell out thousands to get pregnant in the first place (as opposed to two shags and one split condom and hey presto, baby on way). I may be mis-summarising though, as I had to switch channels 20 mins in to avoid DH starting to foam at the mouth regarding the invisibility of fathers, which has become a bit of a hobby horse!

ceara sorry to hear your news about your older relatives. I often wish my grandma had met my DDs but as she died when I was twenty something it was never really going to happen.

Shazza get you and your beautiful hair! I'll be the voice of dissent and say don't do it. You don't need the additional stress it would surely cause. I have a long standing gripe about the ethics of reality TV though so I'm always going to be in the 'no' camp. You're all very brave! I still could never watch OBEM or the Midwives. They were filming that in my hospital and I was really annoyed as the arrangement was that you had to opt out rather than opt in. ^^

Agree with crisps re constipation. Also sitting on the bathroom floor while they sit on the loo and telling them the story of the three little pigs.

Slinky Malinky is indeed a book, it's my favourite Hairy McLairy book.

Morning girls

Thanks for the constipation tips. We were up at 6.30 this morning. Not too bad bless her. She still hasn't been to the loo. I'll try to get some of the stuff you suggest crisps today. We've tried massaging her tummy and giving her fruit and avoiding binding foods. She keeps crying, walking on tip toe and sticking her bum out so we know she needs to go. Trouble is she is holding it in now cause she knows it's going to hurt.

Sorry to disappoint the majority but I'd already decided that groomed or not the world isn't quite ready for my foof . I've got enough to think about without a camera zoomed in. I can't deny I wasn't flattered by the hair compliment though

They approached me in kiddicare in Bristol so you could all hang out there if you are interested. It started a debate on the way home about whether couples get paid to do it and how much they would have to pay before I agreed!
Talking of Bristol, how is your bro crisps.

And ceara I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. It's the circle of life. As one generation is born another one sadly ends. My thoughts are with you and your family. Xx

Morning all! Wowzers I've missed lots of chat over le weekend.

shazz pleased to hear you are having a nice hols. I assume we're not meant to give kids castor oil any more?! I had a friend whose mum used to feed her that laxative chocolate... Well done on the buggy purchase! I need to get mine from my colleague. Oh and thanks for the tip re FB groups for the hood. I've joined but not managed to secure any bargains yet.

ceara so sorry to hear about all your losses over the last month. I lost my 2 remaining grandparents last year and it made me feel my barrenness more keenly. Although this wasn't helped by a great aunt ambushing me at the wake and telling me to hurry up and have kids. Not what you want to hear after 2 failed ivfs! Is your 20 week scan coming up soon?

I agree with you mariana re OBEM. I still can't watch it (and I'm foaming at the mouth at ceara's summary of the other one!) and also feel like all the world and his dog have seen up my foof, so I'd rather not actually show it to the rest of the nation!

Am loving the book recommendations. I like the stick man one too.

noks I quite like the GBBO Mel and Sue sandwich! I 'm also enjoying playing the game of which of the young females is Paul H making moves on, the randy silverback. It all just makes me wanna eat cake though

crisps am jealous of your slob day! Trashy mags and crap tv sound ace. I need one, but we seem to be cramming everything in over the next few months. I wish I'd only put in a kilo, though the puking sounds miz.

dildals sounds like Bella is doing incredibly well. I can't believe she's already on the boob - sounds like she'll be properly feeding before long. How many weeks is she now? I must send some FB friend requests as need my Bella pic fix!

Waves to everyone else I've missed up thread.

Am still chuckling at the tit Stasi thing. Hearing your experiences of BF has been really interesting. I feel terrible how when I ask people if they BF, they feel they have to justify why they didn't. I hate that the tit stasis have done that to women.

I seem to be going through the crying phase shazz did! I cried when I got in last night as some old bitch wouldn't let me sit down on the bus cos she was saving a seat for her friend (I was VERY cross too ) and then I cried this morning at the Caesar dog food ad, with the old man, his dead wife and cute dog. Mr G thinks he's living with a mad woman.

Can I ask if anyone else has been finding their undercarriage rather, er damp, in pregnancy? I seem to have days when my pants are actually damp! Mr G tells me it's probably sweat, now that I'm 'larger', or it could be discharge, wee or in my crazy lady moments amniotic fluid! It's clear and smells like discharge or of not a lot.

Sorry to gross you all out first thing. Hope no one is eating their breakfast!

I did switch to the 'Midwives' then wisely decided this was not going to be a good idea.

ginestas yes, there is a lot more wetness down there in pregnancy. I had that too. It's to do with your increased oestrogen. It's even got a name, but I forgot what it was. Tell DH it's a good thing, no need for lube!

Bella is still quite a way off BF proper! It's all about establishing the association between her tube feed and the sensation of being on the breast, smelling my milk, getting some milk in her mouth etc. She can suck for a couple of seconds, which is a stirling effort given her age, but she can't sustain it properly (yet). Premmies are so sleepy as well. Yesterday she did really well at her 12 o'clock feed. Then didn't do anything remotely useful at her other feeds! Apart from a few licks of my nipple. The whole BF thing cracks me up. On one of the feeds she was too busy coiling a big mustard poo out to concentrate. I know this from the red face and all the groaning noises she makes finished off by the shaking off the leg, like a dreaming dog. Now, who would want to have dinner if you're having a massive poo I ask you?! A lady also came by to take her hand and foot print for a tile. She didn't like her foot being put on the cold clay and pushed so she cried AND farted at the lady. Brilliant. I just couldn't stop giggling about it afterwards. I am still laughing about it writing it down.

shazza I still need to do research re single buggy ... pff .. there's a kiddicare in Croydon so maybe just swing by, road test a few and buy it.

Oh and my mum is coming over again! YAY! I need some help sorting out this nursery and she's just looking for an excuse to come over and see Bella.

noks I thought only posh Dutch people said pit-zah. Are there actually posh English people that do that? And how come they are not too posh to actually eat pizza. Should they not be eating grouse or pheasant?

ceara I'm so sorry to hear your news. My DH's grandparents also died within a week of each other (a long time ago) - I don't think it's that unusual. Lots of love to you and your family.

shaz why aren't your DN's parents there too? Are you practising? Hope the little thing manages a big fat poo soon... We are almost settled in I'd say, though have a distinct lack of furniture. It's been much more stressful than I'd anticipated. I start work on Monday and am a bit nervous about the whole thing and how I'll cope, but hey, it's only for 9 weeks. I had a stress the other day that the baby will some early and I'll have done like 2 weeks of work, but then thought que sera sera.

I'm supposed to be having a whopping cough vaccine soon I think. Must phone the GP to see if they've forgotten. Has anyone else had it yet?

dildals I love to hear of Bella being cheeky. She sounds adorable. It'll be great to have your mum around I'd think. You must be fairly exhausted (understatement).

noks I have to say I kind of enjoyed the Midwives. I was astonished/outraged at the young girls (16) though - very scary. One didn't realise she was preggers till 7 months, then within 2 months she's got a new baby. Poor thing was totally overwhelmed. I know what ceara means about the lack of fathers thing, but the 48 yo had a lovely partner - it was the teenagers where the dads weren't involved.

In fact I have just this morning started to read the chapter on labour, just to be prepared in case anything happens too early and I'm just clueless. It's a very odd feeling not knowing when this momentous event will actually happen, isn't it?

expat must be having the baby soon. When's the date? Good luck x a million if you're still reading.

sweetie we went for a white cot from kiddicare. I felt white would be easier to fake-match if/when we buy something else furniture-wise. As Kip'll be in our room till we move house in 6 months or so we have not bought any other furniture. We got the mattress too as it was half price, so a bargain in the sale too. But not bought anything else like sheets etc. I hear the cot bumpers are a no-no as well, due to suffocation. But then it seems odd that they sell them... I like Mariana's DIY!

fairy and buzzy I really want to try cloth nappies too. Not sure where to start, I might get one of those hire kits that some websites do, then you can see what if anything you like. DH suggested starting off with disposables, but I feel like I'd get sucked into the ease of using them, so better never to start, for me anyway. I wonder if I am just in the dreamworld and being unrealistic of what I'll be arsed to do, but never mind.

ceara I'm really sorry about your grandparents passing away. It's sad no matter how "natural" or expected.

"Gin" increased discharge is just due to increased hormones as far as I know. Just part of how every bodily function seems exaggerated when pg, at least to me!

keep I just had the whooping cough vaccine. Was a no brainer for me since it isn't a live vaccine so no risk to baby. A hire kit for the nappies sounds a good idea, one of the offputting aspects is the large initial outlay compared to fiver for disposables but over the years the latter really adds up.

shazza you do have lovely hair! I agree with mariana though- although it's exciting to contemplate there is no freaking way I would EVER give birth on television. It's way too personal. I started watching one of the midwives programmes but stopped because I was finding it all rather unpleasant and unappealing weirdly. I can't watch OBEM because it was in then I was TTC and even seeing the adverts for it used to make me unhappy.

dildals Bella sounds like a very spirited girl who knows her own mind (or digestive system), which is fantastic. Glad your mum is coming back.

crisips my mum BFed all four of hers so is v pro but she is a bit of a hippy in a lot of ways and is not in the UK so her social context is a bit different. But her views did influence my positive attitude toward it.

I am having a brief pre dinner lie down. DS just brought me a glass of water unprompted and went to tell DH that they were my servants and had to do what I wanted. Clever boy.

Hi all. D day tomorrow so all over the place tonight.

So, in no particular order:
Very clever boy indeed Fairy. Did you train him? If so, how?
Shazza, wow! Turning fame down. How cool. You sil is such a pain. I agree with everyone else in that it was probably the one area in which she felt superior.

I've joined facebook. What do I do now?

Have got little washable nappies from assuntastore.com. Am really pleased with them. Will use disposables for the first week or so and then switch to these.
I intend to bf too. Mariana, how long did it take your milk to come in after your cs?

Ceara, so sorry for the loss of so many family members at the same time. I totally get fertility rage. It's a bastard.

I had lots more to say but have completely forgotton what it was.

ceara So sorry to hear about your losses, big hugs

expat Good luck for tomorrow, shall lurk for your news :)

dildals love your stories of Bella

expat wow, good luck for tomorrow! So exciting you will see your baby! My milk came in as normal post CS, eg within 48 hrs, colostrum until then.

I haven't trained DS, apart fr normal chiding! He is quite sensitive to others though.

Best wishes for tomorrow expat so exciting that you will be meeting your baby.

Shazza the last couple of series of OBEM have been from my hospital. I work with a couple of the guys who have appeared with the ladies. I would never have the guts to do anything like that. Lovely for the lady to approach you though and your lovely hair.
I can not watch any of those programmes at the moment, I am totally in denial that the birth bit will actually happen. I just think the miracle of modern science got them in there and will get them out again - head in the sand, moi???

ceara sorry for your losses and fertility rage. It is normal to experience this sort of thing.

Gin damp undercarriage - check. I have been using the panty liners I had left over from progesterone fall out. As the others say it is another pregnancy joy.

Dildals loving the Bella stories and the new graduate to a cot pic on fb. She sounds like a real little character already.

Al I really hope tomorrow goes well! You will update us as soon as you can I hope?! My milk took about three days to come in properly, which is about normal I think. It feels like it takes for ever but apparently the baby is fine to wait and lives off dribbles of colostrum. I had terrible engorgement for a couple of weeks though until things settled down.

gin I was always convinced I was leaking amniotic fluid but my consultant said it was your body making sure your foof was clean and healthy. But she didn't say foof.

That advert made me well up too. The ones that really get me are the child ones you get in the afternoons for Save the Children or something. They always have me in floods and wanting to donate our entire credit card limit.

Also love Stickman. DD1 went through an odd phase of calling me her 'Stick lady love'.

Shazza I hope DN has finally pooed. It's terrible when they hold it in.

Keep I think it's easy to get sucked into using disposable nappies. I would think it's a good idea to have some for travel, for if you don't have any dry and possibly for the first week or so.

White is good for future matching. I have cheapo ikea stuff in the girls rooms. It's a discontinued range but I've added to it as required via eBay.

Labour? Don't worry, that's that bit where you sneeze and a baby pops out...

Dildals, Bella sounds tremendous, it is amazing she's doing any sucking at all. There is a reflex in babies that makes them poo when they eat, some have it stronger than others. DD1 often used to poo at the start of a feed as if making room. Of course this meant I had to change her at the end of the feed instead of sneaking her back into her cot. Trenchlet starts pooing at about 6am and does it intermittently until about midday, usually just after I've changed her. I assume they all have their own pattern.

fairy when I was ttc all sorts of things used to set me off. I was once upset because the woman doing sign language in the corner of the screen was pregnant. Or she might just have been fat. There is no way I could even bear the advert for OBEM, I had fighter pilot reflexes on that TV remote to change channels. I still get flashes of fertility rage. Will it never leave me? I fear I'm the Lady MacBeth of pregnancy.

DD1's last day at nursery tomorrow. When I arrived to collect her today she went into a massive strop (she always does this as coming home with me is clearly so awful) but then got an evil glint in her eye and shinned up and hid in a treehouse. I was hissing at her 'get down here this minute, do I need to count to three?' totally ineffectually for at least five minutes, with all her cronies laughing at me and cheering her on. Eventually a member of staff climbed up there and talked her down. I was fairly mortified. I'm assuming I'll have to drag her out screaming tomorrow. I may have to create a Hansel and Gretel style trail of Smarties between the nursery and the car. I hope she loves school as much.

Can somebody teach me how to write a post that isn't 2,000 words? Please, for all our sakes...

Oh how exciting. Just a quickie from me tonight - good luck al. I hope you sneeze while reading a copy of Hello! Magazine and eating chocolates and the baby just slips out. Please keep us posted. Xx

ceara so sorry to hear about your bereavements. Xx

dildals Bella will soon be flipping the bird and showing her displeasure to anyone who fucks her off. We will ALL BE PROUD of her when this happens .

Keeps and gin I will avoid obem I think. I'm happy just getting the rage watching mel'n'fuckingsue and Paul Hollywood chasing young women around the marquee, while Mary Berry looks at him like he's a turd who has just drifted in from the local council estate.

mariana you were shamed at nursery by your DD, who sounds like a cunning fox alright. Loved that story !

shazza has she gone yet ?

Just popping in to say very best wishes expat for today and the coming days.

mariana I love your posts so please don't worry re length. DS also emits loud groans of disapproval when I show up at afterschool club to pick him up, much to everyone's amusement. Except mine - esp when I have rushed through work to pick him up at a decent time and have been yearning to see him. But I tell myself it is better that he likes AFC and school than if he were clinging to me, shrieking every time I dropped him off.

I hope your DD will be the same about school. DS cried quite a bit the first day of school because all of the children were going through a doorway sans parents and crying their eyes out. I think he thought it was the start of Kindertransport or some 4 yr old equivalent. But within a couple of days he was fine.

A quick post from me DP has told me off for being obsessed with my phone!

Expat loads of luck for today. It is ridiculously exciting and no matter what DP says I'll be tuning in with bated breath for news.

So much to say. Sorry for lack of personals. Like Mariana my motto has always been why use 5 words when 50 will do.

Ps. Torquay has seen the biggest dump from a 2 year old. Never has a massive poo caused so much emotion. Me & my mum were moved to tears . Xx

Yay for toddler poos!!

Wonder if expat's done already x

I was checking in to see if there was any delivery news... the poo will have to do!

fairy ha at kindertransport.