Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

[SweetieTime]

I have caught up on the shenanigans this morning.

Motor congratulations on your BFP and scan. The worry doesn't go away I don't think but join us to vent and share on here. I am 20 weeks with twins from my first DE IVF.

Dildals so sorry little Bella had a set back but on your more recent post she seems to be doing well and taking your milk again which is great news. I do feel for you having to establish milk flow through expressing, I can imagine it is very tough but hope it is going ok.

Mariana thanks so much on the names front, we are making progress. The cake for DD sounds amazing, I am sure a done up version of a shop bought was great. Pornstar Tinkerbell sounds interesting too

My star fleeces arrived this morning, much excitement, Shazza I went for Heather and Denim colours and both are lovely. They look quite roomy for newborns but I am sure they will grow into them.

I did some drastic lady gardening the other day. I thought while I can still reach I would get stuck in and sort it out. Not really sure how it will be tackled when I get much bigger and there is no way I will be asking DH for his help.

[Nokkie73]

mariana you're bloody hilarious. I was absolutely pissing myself laughing on the way home last night reading your posts. I love the fact that you have totally pimped a cake. And not just any cake. It's a proper bona fide trollop cake too. What next ? Barbie with her boobs out ? Pocahontas staggering about flipping everyone the bird ? I am spotting a theme here and I rather like it.

Hi motor ! I know it's a bit fraught at the moment but stick with it and as each day passes, it will hopefully get a bit easier.

al nearly there hun ! It's fab that you're next and will have a real life baybee to play with !

buzz have you met Barry yet ?

I had a lovely evening with ma. The outlaws are great and I have decided to be zen about the constant 'SIL does this with the baby' references because they do mean well. However, ask me on Sunday when they leave to see if I say the same thing.....

Hi to everyone else. I cannot go back a page so sorry for the other messages so sorry for no more personals. Xx

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Buzzy, at least you will see Barry at the end of the epic journey. I hope that it goes quickly and that you have more than a flapjack with you to eat :-)

Sweetie, I'm jealous of the names. I will pm Mariana tout suite to get input from the expert! I'm definitely going to get a cosy star. I'll look up those colours. I want something nice and gender neutral.

My hypno teacher sent me this link to watch a video

It is quite inspiring if you are trying hypnobirthing or not.

[Shazzamattazzerly]

we cross posted Noks. Glad you had a good evening in the end. Most people mean well with the advice. You are right to remain zen I'll give it a go!

[MarianaTrench]

Buzzy, three trains from London?
looks out of window suspiciously

Cake pimping is exactly it noks. It looks great, especially as I cannot do royal icing to save my life. It's an M&S cake with some innocuous flowers and a ladybird on it. I've aded pearls, glitter, candles and that strumpet Tinkerbell. DD1 will love it. This is my Top Tip of the day. If you can't make it fake it! (Sadly my 30 (30 ffs!) gingerbread men look like voodoo dolls after I let DD1 decorate them.)

Anyway, remain zen. Life is far easier when you are friends with your in laws. My mil cannot stop shopping and as I am nice to her she sends me often eyewatering clothes for the girls all the time.

Hi sweetie happy to help and interfere. Shazz just pm me for a name consultation. It genuinely keeps me from falling asleep during night feeds.

Hope al is feeling calmer.

DD1 is wearing the cooking instructions sticker from a pizza on her chest and is feeding me those silver ball cake decorations as I sit on the sofa drinking lager and writing this. We are truly the modern day Madonna and Child.

[MotorcycleMama]

Thanks for the warm welcome.
I had my booking appt today which mercifully took 15 minutes, rather than the hour they told me to put aside. All well apart from blood pressure 80/60, which at least goes some way to explain why I've been feeling breathless so easily.
mariana I am so enjoying your amusing tales of domestic bliss.

[putthecrispsDOWN]

Hi motor, welcome to the dark side, it's ace to have you here! The first few weeks are rubbish. It it really does feel like yesterday for me..I am 20 weeks today believe it or now! I think getting in to double figures helped me. Have you had any symptoms at all?

Boob cheese is probably not googlable...DH is in cardiology and far cleverer and lovelier than me! and so has to look at lots of boobs when doing surgery and checks and so on. Boob cheese is basically what you would get it you had sizeable boobies and never washed...basically like a creamy smellyness in your underboob. Apologies to anyone eating while reading this! dH says that some of the lesser washed folk he deals with have this..not in a disrespectful way to his patients, just in judgement of the ones who are fully capable of washing but don't, yuk. It makes me give my 30ks a good scrub every day in fear, yick!

Hello to all on the fb group...took me a while to figure out who you all are! noks we are sweary pregnancy first name buddies!

Off out for a drink with my friend now, assuming I can wedge my fat arse into the car and don't fall asleep in the pub that is...

[Buzzybee123]

yes have made it to shropshire, very quiet up here, I haven't mentioned the flapjack

[MarianaTrench]

Shropshire? That's well southern! (Glad you've made it).

I suspected boob cheese would be something like that, crisps. Breastfeeding with a spitty baby requires vigilance, I get through hundreds of flannels.

motorcyclemama, I have low BP and it sucks, especially in pregnancy. Just have to be thankful it's not high.

[Dildals]

Yo! I have to just do a me-me-me post! The lactation lady came round today and found Bella alert n awake and decided to seize the moment. So we got her out and on the boob, just to see what she would do and get her used to BF behaviour. She's not expected to really BF at this tender age. But she did really well!!! We put her in the right position (more to it than I thought!), she started opening her mouth wide (although a few of those were just yawns that we still took advantage of) and we shoved her on the boob! And she started sucking like a right little 'un. At which point I pulled her off, OUCH. Until I realised this is what it supposed to feel like! I hand expressed a few droplets for her to have a go at and she got a few good sucking sessions in. SO FUNNY! She does pull a bit of a face like 'Your nipple is too big mummy, you are cramping my style here', but she can pull away herself if it gets too much. There's only one problem ... she has a few looks where she is the spitting image of my mum ... I was basically breastfeeding my mum which, let's face it, is a bit weird! (I'll get over it though, my mum thought it was hilarious. I wonder what Freud has to say about this though).

[SweetieTime]

Dildals that is amazing progress. Does Bella continue to have boob sessions? Lovely that she has a look of your DM even if the circumstances are freaking you out a bit.

How do I get added to the fb group?

[Buzzybee123]

dildals well done little Bella

mariana its a 4 hour journey, I thought i'd be furthe north of here, but this is most northern i've been for about 4 years

[Dildals]

sweetie The plan is to repeat this every couple of days whenever we feel she's alert and giving cues about wanting a bit of boob time (rooting, sucking on hand, sticking out tongue, that kind a stuff). I AM WELL EXCITED!

You can get added to the group on FB if you PM me your email address then I can send you an invite to join!

[MarianaTrench]

Hahaha at breastfeeding your mum! I can't believe you told your mum too. Freud would explode with delight.

That's absolutely brilliant though Dildals. Obviously nobody's told her she's not supposed to know how to do that yet. Yes it does really, really hurt at first. Especially if the baby has a little mouth as then they can't get your nipple far enough back in their mouth so they are squashing it against their hard palate instead of their soft palate. The good news is you get used to it. Great stuff though, well done Bella!

[MotorcycleMama]

Fantastic news re Bella's bf progress dildals. I am left with rather disturbing images of breastfeeding my mum though! I'll have to make sure it's not the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.

Wow crisps - 20 weeks! Hope you managed to stay awake in the pub. I fell asleep after work and didn't wake up until 9. I would say that is the main symptom I have - so tired all the time. And tender breasts with dark blue veins running over them. Other than that, very occasional mild nausea and some dizziness.

mariana I fancy the low BP could allow me to elicit sympathy by coming over all dizzy at opportune moments maybe? And yes, very pleased it is low, rather than high.

[MotorcycleMama]

Sorry, me again. Last week I had 3 days of period- type pain with light spotting (brown). I was worried so called EPU who called me in for a reassurance scan on Monday. All was good - baby right size, good heart beat. Once again today, I have period- type pains and spotting again. I am trying not to panic. Did any of you have similar experience? Luckily I only have to wait until Wednesday for another scan (10+2), but 5 days could feel very long if this continues.

[MarianaTrench]

First off, try not to panic. Once youve seen a good heartbeat your mc chances drop to about 5%. Furthermore about 20% of women experience some bleeding in pregnancy and less than a quarter of this group miscarry. The odds are very much in your favour. I've had bleeding of the bright red and brown types in both my successful pregnancies. Both early on too, before 12 weeks.

Can I offer my usual explanation / suggestion which is cervical erosion? Very common in pregnancy, the cervix is becomes sensitive and easily grazed and seeps a bit of blood that is usually brown by the time you see it. Can be triggered by sex, exercise, even constipation or nothing at all. It can only be diagnosed by a visual examination but your GP can do this.

Unless you're getting lots of bright red blood and really painful cramps it's unlikely to be a miscarriage.

You could go back to the EPU on Monday and have an earlier scan. Distract yourself by keeping busy, it's hard but better than sitting fretting. Hang in there!

[fairypangolin]

motor lots of us had persistent spotting in the first trimester. Most of the time it has been due to implantation (the placenta implants at the end of the 1st trimester) or a haematoma or is unexplained. Cramping, if not severe, is everything stretching. I would have thought that if you saw the bubby a few days ago and it looked fine, if something had gone wrong now with it rather than one of the more innocuous reasons you would be having heavy bleeding and severe cramping. I know it's very nervewracking but try to think that it is much more likely to be nothing to worry about.

Your BP was 80 over 60? That is extremely low! I normally have quite low BP and when I was at the midwife a couple of weeks' ago it was 92/64 but still not that low. Good excuse to eat lots of salty crisps. I do find I get a worse headrush than normal when standing up these days. I guess it's the extra blood volume. As you say it's also a great excuse to swoon when confronted with a disagreeable task, like the washing up.

dildals it's wonderful that Bella is becoming able to interact with you in those ways. Your description of her is so delightful too - although if I thought I was BFing my mum I would be a bit freaked out too! And mariana's right, BFing does hurt at first, especially when the milk lets down. But it doesn't last long and the sleepy joyful look they get when they are filled up with milk is (IMHO at least!) totally worth it. We used to say DS was 'munted on milk'.

mariana such a touching mother and daughter scene you describe! Like a page right out of the Boden catalogue.

Whoever linked to the tuppenceandcrumble site with the star wraps thank you! I am too lazy to flip back to see who it was. They look so cute and practical I am definitely getting one. I just can't decide on a colour.

Someone also posted about the study reported on the BBC that gestation actually naturally varies up to 5 weeks. I also thought that was really interesting and made sense - why would gestation, unlike any other sequence of human development, vary so little in terms of length? Maybe it will help inform decisions to induce although it does make it a lot more unpredictable.

I've started having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, particularly at night. It's kind of nice in a way as it reminds me that the end is in sight. And like you, expat if I don't feel the baby moving I start worrying until she wakes up and starts rummaging again. I'm trying not to get too hung up about it, it's so subjective whether it seems as though there is a change in her pattern of movement or not. She seems to move a lot first thing, then again mid-afternoon and then again in the evening but it really depends on what I'm doing as to how much I notice it. Really not long for you now though!

[vallinnapod]

Sorry guys. Not read through. Had a private scan today at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Beyond devastated.

Straight round to EPU which wasn't open but the gynae on duty got me all signed in and processed anyway. ERPC on Tuesday. I had been so relaxed this pregnancy I can't see how I can emotionally get here again at the moment.

Good luck to you all x

[Buzzybee123]

vall I am so sorry, its heartbreaking, big hugs

motor I had lots of spotting and bleeding in my first trimester and had lots of scans to reassure me

[fairypangolin]

oh vallinna I am so sorry. How devastating, my heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself. x

[putthecrispsDOWN]

vall how devastatingly awful, my heart goes out to you. I hope you are ok and managing to take good care of yourself. How awful to have to wait for a while too. Don't worry about the future yet, just look after yourself and deal with this one day at a time.

motor if you feel stressed, go and ask for a scan on Monday,
It is better than driving yourself nuts worrying at home, people who have been through our journeys need more reassurance than most!

fairy Brixton hicks sound exciting! I know what you mean by the munted on milk look...at night dd1 would look like someone out of trainspotting after a nice long feed, cute in a strange way!

Manages to stay in the pub until 9.30 last night, bf was most impressed! Was shattered but very lovely to be out again, even if it was only up the road. Was amazed to see three other pregnant ladies all dolled up in heels and full makeup out with their gaggle of friends...wasnt sure whether to be impressed or horrified. am only 31 but felt very old! Slippers and a cup of tea and emmerdale in the evening is my rock and roll at the moment, Def not up for skintight all in ones and leopard print heels yet...

dildals Bella sounds like an absolute trooper, I always thought she would have gusto and spirit! Must be odd seeing your mums face but that is cute in a way! I bet the nurses are really impressed with her progress, she's getting so old already! Have never bf so am reading all these posts with interest...going to give it a bash this time I think although will probably have formula on standby in case I can't manage.

Have just done a mammoth ikea/next/b and q haul this morning, two car loads of furniture and paint for DDs new room. Still can't bring ourselves to buy anything for the babies yet but decorating DDs new room (the twins are having hers as it is bigger) is kind of like secretly preparing. It is going to be pink, and I am coming to terms with the fact that despite DH and I being all alternative and monochrome we have produced a pink princess. I blame slutty tinkerbell and her whorebag princess pals. At Disneyland sleeping beauty was definitely working it with the dads and doing flirty eyes, the dutty cat...

[MarianaTrench]

Vall I'm so awfully sorry. It's heartbreaking. I hope you can take to bed or do whatever you need to do at the moment. Lots of love to you. X

[ExpatAl]

Vallinna I'm so so sorry. How incredibly sad. How awful to have to wait for treatment. Don't think about next steps just yet - give yourselves some time off to grieve. Best wishes. x

Motor, I echo Crisps. Don't make yourself wait 5 days. If you're anxious go in asap. As you had your mc at roughly the same time your anxiety levels must be sky high at the moment, so give yourself a break.

Thank you everyone for being so kind in overlooking that I'm a crazy lady. I'm feeling a lot better today and just had a long catch up with my bf in the UK so things are good.

A big wow at your Wunderkind Bella, Dildals. I'm sorry it hurt but big LOL at breastfeeding your mum!

Fairy I posted the link to the star fleeces and received my green one a few days ago. I'm really happy with it. The colour is really clear and they're a good size - will last a long time. I like the fact there are no fasteners so baby can go in and out without a lot of fiddling when sleepy and if overheating the sides can be folded back. Can't wait for baby to be in the sling dressed in it!

I salute you at staying out until 9.30 Crisps. Congrats! It's good to get out of the pregnant world sometimes.

Marina I'm with you on the faking thing. I also consider it my duty to make sure the local patisserie doesn't go out of business.

[MotorcycleMama]

vall I am so, so sorry - truly heartbreaking. I've been there and I know the pain. Cocoon yourself and be looked after through the process. X