Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

sweetie At my meeting with the consultant she said that 40% of twin pregnancies end in an EMCS. I then said that with those stats it's almost better to have an ELCS. To which she agreed! She wrote it in my notes and done! My hospital is more happy to give out ELCSs than other hospitals though.

There is some useful guidance on the MN site as well (the general advice not the talk forums) and read up on the NICE guidelines re twin pregnancies and CS. It doesn't recommend CS in case twin 1 is cephalic but it does state very clearly that the care should be woman led, ie you have a big say.

I have the Gina Ford book for twins too. I know lots of people who found it useful and actually a lot of the advice in GF is similar to the Baby Whisperer book, which is considered more 'mellow'. I think most people take from it what appeals to them and roll with the punches. All babies will throw a few curve balls I think. On another forum I posted a feeding issue I had with Bella (it's resolved itself now, which just goes to show) and one of my NCT ladies said 'oh so sorry to hear you have feeding problems with Bella'. Err, I am not having feeding problems, Bella is just being a baby. She has a fresh dozy newborn, I'll speak to her again in a couple of weeks when hers starts his evening colic routine/pukes up over her underpants (this happened to me in the night ... I don't mind being puked on by my baby, that's what hormones do to you, but ON MY PANTS! I have to draw the line there.)/shits all up its back/carpet/her etc.

keep I am 10 weeks in now post pregnancy and I gained 10kgs, of which I still have about 4 to lose. I fit in to my old jeans but I have massive muffin top, not a good look...

We had a meeting with the consultant obstetrician yesterday to discuss autopsy report and progress on their internal investigation. We had a superficial autopsy done, ie no cutting, and no findings came back. We didn't expect it to, to be honest.

The bereavement midwife had made the appt with the consultant and somehow (of course) the wires got crossed and my appt wasn't in the system so I got sent from the antenatal clinic to the scanning clinic, and every time you get asked questions like 'are you here for a scanning appt' , 'do you have your pregnancy notes'. And it sounds silly but it is actually quite upsetting, so at the second reception we got sent to I just said that the bereavement MWs had made the appt and that it was to discuss autopsy results, which made them act a bit more swiftly. They are good, King's, they do try, but seriously. So after a bit I am in tears at the Harris Birthright Centre, upsetting of course all the pregnant women that are sitting there, waiting for their scan, and a blubbering mess by the time the consultant has been pulled away from his penne arrabiata. I like him. He has been and was again quite happy to admit that the hospital failed us on that Monday morning. Yesterday he also said, and that made me feel better, that he didn't think that the outcome would have been different or better if they had realised I was in labour at the time I reported 'something coming out'. Georgia had already been in the birth canal at that time and it's likely she would not have made it alive or would have been born with oxygen deprivation, ie disabled. We talked about that there wasn't really an obvious point prior where the hospital could have sprung in to action and said 'right, we need to monitor twin 1 with a clip and twin 2 with CTG' and that is because of the nature of prem labour, which doesn't necessarily follow the 'contractions lasting x every x minutes' pattern. Perhaps they should have checked my cervix before they moved me to the antenatal ward that Sunday night, but checking the cervix can actually bring on labour and could introduce infection so they tend to not do that. Anyway. The conversation made me feel better.

I found out that the bereavement MW had not put in my referral to the hospital counsellor either. Another fuck up. And I found out that the hospital counsellor is based at the Harris Birthright Centre! Seriously! In that massive hospital it was not possible to find a more neutral spot to counsel women with pregnancy losses?!

onion if it makes you feel any better I pissed all over the hospital floor as well and was adamant it was my waters of twin 2. The MW cleaned me up, including pulling off the soaked (v fetching) white DVT stockings eeewwww!

keep my waters went in a gush too like onions.

Bella pisses herself on a regular basis actually.

mrsHY the penis beaker is gold. We have a bucket actually. KIDDING!

Dildals there's not much I can say other than wishing you strength to cope with this part. Similarly we had to go for our second baby's post mortem findings to an office off the delivery ward (I was an absolute wreck, I'll never forget that day). They did apologise but it was apparently that or wait another week to see the consultant in clinic. I also had bereavement counselling in the maternity hospital so had to run the gauntlet of a million happy pregnant women in the waiting areas, plus a gift shop full of pink and blue balloons every time I went. It was so very, very hard. You would think there could be a more neutral area found but no.

Also the persistently being asked for notes. I had to keep having scans after losing both babies as I had retained placenta and after the first time being made to wait with all the pregnant women and being asked twice for my notes I got quite stroppy and got a private waiting room the next time. I've often thought that it may be very few people that need this sensitive handling but dear god they really do need it. Any woman who has recently lost a baby is possibly at her most vulnerable and maternity services, of all things, should both recognise and address that properly. Lots of love to you and DH though.

Bella is sounding more and more familiar to me. I'm not trying to compete but ringlet vomited in my hair at 5am. Not for the first time either. I didn't even bother trying to clean it up other than dabbing at it with a muslin and putting it in a ponytail. We both reeked by 7am.

fairy how very remiss of the stork. Have you checked in the cabbage patch too? Do people keep texting you yet? (This is actually another joy of the ELCS.)

madness how lovely. I hope you can enjoy it.

We are going out to lunch. With one of DHs colleagues. Who is a single, male, professor of something very serious, and the most academic, learned type I've ever met. And DD1, who is already displaying behaviour typical of a chimpanzee on crystal meth. What could possibly go wrong...

onion How did you decide to go for another baby after your loss? Did you ever consider not trying for ringlet? (if you don't mind me asking)

Looking fwd to hearing the outcome of the chimpanzee meets academics, who knows the colleague might just show his other, chimpanzee, side.

We went to the park today, I nursed Bella, who was flipping ravenous, one breast not enough, and I was dressed in my running clothes (to go for a run afterwards). After I had finally managed to detach Bella from boob and I was on my way to loo to get my sports bra hooked back up properly a lady comes up to me and asks 'excuse me, is that your baby?' Goodness, I hope so, otherwise there's been a terrible mix up and I have been nursing someone else's baby!!! Funny.

dildals I'm really glad the conversation with the consultant made you feel better. It does seem amazing that is the norm for services for bereaved patents to be located in a birth centre. It must just be for convenience of staffing but it does seem terribly insensitive.

Why did the lady in the park want to know if it was your baby? It would have been very odd for you to be feeding someone else's as you say! Still it's great you are getting to go for a run. I miss that so so much, I can hardly wait.

onion I haven't been bothered much yet by people checking in but my due date isn't until Monday. Our friends generally are pretty discreet people and both DH and I have v small families so I'm not anticipating a rush of inquiries.

I'm sure lunch with DD1, even if she is in chimp on meth mode will just be good for Herr Professor Doktor, remind him of life's rich pageant and all that.

Pretty quiet day here and twinges have come to naught. DS said at dinner he hoped the baby would come tomorrow and not on a school day "so I can look at her all day". So sweet to hear especially when I worry sometimes he will be a bit jealous.

She was just opening up a conversation to say that she thought it was so good I was exercising already with a newborn, newborn is not so newborn of course, but B is still so small it is an easy mistake to make.

I was going to text Fairy on Monday! I think that's allowed. PUSH THAT BABY OUT ALREADY! ;-)

Aw at DS, fairy. I bet he'll be really sweet. I need your number too so I can text you on the hour every hour 'ANY NEWS?!!!'

Also fairy I need to send small gift to my cousins kids - boys aged 2.5 and 5. Is there anything cheap (under £5) but good you could recommend? They're abroad so don't have the full range of plastic crap we do! I'm great on girls but hopeless with boys! Must be v gendered as they're like that.

Lunch with Herr Doktor was actually ok. We managed a starter and a main in relative peace - DD1 had brought most of her colouring stuff with her and I managed to keep her busy and DD2 sat in a high chair gnawing rice cakes. I took them home before dessert and coffee though as they were both turning nasty. (I had a cuppa and a handful of stale Nice biscuits at home instead.) I managed a tiny bit of intelligent chat but my role was very much animal handler. Got to eat most of a meal I hadn't cooked though!

Dildals I love the idea that you might be a guerrilla breastfeeder. I'm also impressed and jealous you're able to exercise. I will not shift this last half stone until I can get out and do some but there's no chance yet. (Four weeks until Project Own Room and Controlled Crying starts...)

Guerrilla nursing or perhaps wet nursing has come back I fashion in south London? One never knows.

onion my DS loves a super bouncy ball or (depending on how genteel the household) a whoopee cushion is always a big hit. My mum brought him a plastic "dinosaur egg" which a rubber dino broke out of when it had been submerged in water for a couple of days. He absolutely adored that. All of those can be bought quite cheaply at a toy shop or John Lewis. Also at tesco at the moment you can buy a special edition Lego man for a pound or two, each one is different (but my DS got a lady ice cream seller and was gutted).

By all means please can everyone text me every hour from low until the baby arrives? Be sure to ask how much weight I've gained at the same time.

On that front I definitely feel more crampy and odd today, I'm just about to go for a walk to see if that jump starts anything.

Back now- During the walk I had all sorts of great pains and twinges and BH contractions. Came back, had a nap and it all stopped when I lay down. Standing and walking seems to re activate it. I think this is going to take a while.

shazza sorry to miss your meet up today but maybe next month we can meet with a few babies as well!

Thinking of you fairy. Get some rest while you can too, you can't walk all night. Fingers crossed for a very prompt bubs, born tomorrow on due date x

Hello Ladies

I'm writing after a lovely afternoon with Dildals, Bella and MrsH. Bella is absolutely gorgeous. And we couldn't take our eyes off her. I came home feeling very positive and excited that we are all having beautiful babies.

Keep I hope that you haven't had anymore weeing incidents. How are you feeling?

Sweetie I hope that you can present your case for ELCS. It sounds like you have done your homework and have a plan.

Fairy So exciting that things are getting started. i'll join in on the hourly texting . I hope that you get some rest tonight. However, I'm also slightly apprehensive to receive news of mini fairy making an appearance because that means that I'm up next! Sorry that you missed meeting up today as well but we are looking forward to meeting up with babies. After seeing Bella today I'm getting really excited.

MrsH Sorry to laugh at your weeing incident! It must have been really stressful at the time. I've had a couple of leaks when laughing or sneezing but luckily nothing too major of late. After your story, I'll make sure that I wait for a bit before thinking that I've finished. Thanks for the inspirational hypno talk on the way back to the station. I'm going to take on board your positivity.

Madness have a brilliant week. It is lovely to be without internet and contact for some time. I find it a relief sometimes. Are you a knitter or crocheter? What are you planning to made for minimadness? I'm glad you are feeling ok about things. Long may it continue.

Dildals, Bella is so amazing. It was so lovely to meet her and see you together. I'm in awe of your calmness. I'm sorry that your appt was such a mix up. Given that others had a similar experience to you, hospitals really need to rethink their arrangements for such appts. But I'm glad that you found it helpful overall. You look amazing by the way. Gorgeous and very stylish in your lovely coat .

Onion Gosh, like Dildals, your experience sounds so upsetting. You are so brave and have come so far. Glad your lunch went well. It must be hard to concentrate on lunch if you are also concentrating on 2 DDs. nice to have dinner cooked for you though!

Gin I hope you are feeling better honey. We missed you yesterday. Are you going to the BFing session on Tuesday?

How is everyone else? Crisps, Buzzy, Noks (you are very quiet, I hope that you are ok?), Ceara, Motor, Expat, I hope that you are all well and have enjoyed a nice weekend.

I'm on the countdown to mat leave this week. Only 4 and a half days left. I can hardly believe it and I can't wait. I'm still getting the odd twinge and possible Braxton Hicks and Shazlett is very active. So I'm hoping that we won't go over too much and I will avoid induction. Fingers crossed!

Well, nearly time for Downtown. So please excuse me ladies but I'm going to sign off.

Night night!

Hello everyone. I am here - all is well with me.

That said, I think that we need to have an inspection.

Stand by your Yonis. We clearly have work to do here.

Oh Crikey I'm not ready for an inspection. I've booked a wax for 2 weeks time to try to sort out what's going on down there . X

Well I had to have an unexpected yoni inspection this weekend... The cervix passed muster but not sure the bush did!

The inspection was at the hospital, as they wanted to check me out for pre term labour. Had awful lower abdominal pain and braxton hicks. All seemed well and they said as long as the contractions don't hurt, they're not a problem. They think the pain was constipation related (which was my conclusion too), so I now have a humongous box of laxatives, yummy. The speculum exam fecking hurt, but at least it allowed then to see all was ok, and the dr was really nice and didn't say 'it's just a speculum', as one of the ivf drs did who I nearly punched in the face and wanted to yell at him, how do you know how it feels It was nice to hear the baby on the monitor and watch/hear her try to kick the monitors off my tummy!

All in all not a great weekend, as the fur baby died on Friday, combined with sleeping really badly, DH's work stress and painful mega poos.

Anyway, enough of my moaning..

shazz, final week, how exciting! Do you have plans for your mat leave? Also v exciting that shazzlet is in the right position and starting to engage. I can't believe that bitch in JL didn't help you up. What's wrong with people?! We are coming to the BF class. Do you think it'd be ok to eat during it? We won't have time for dinner beforehand. Can't believe it's the last nct on sat. DH and I were saying we don't feel much more prepared...

fairy any progress? Thinking of you at the mo! Am hoping you have sneezed out the baby.

onion :) at being animal handler at the lunch! Sounds like your girls were v well behaved. Did ringlet allow you some sleep last night!

Dildals your appointments must have been really hard. I am still so sorry and sad at what you have been through. And it sounds like the hospital isn't making it any easier. On my way out of the hospital on Sat, just the sight of a stall for preemie and seriously ill babies (there was some kind of event on) very nearly had me in tears. I can't imagine how you must have felt.

I am v impressed at the synchronised running and BFing. Am in awe!

mad hope you are having a lovely week away.

mrshy I LOVE the penis beaker Fred! It made me laugh a lot. It was in metro too and actually freaked me out a bit, as the op had used what seemed like her real name in the Fred and it was printed in the paper...

keep hope there's been no more leakage. The dr told me it would be constant, even with a slow leak, when I asked about it at an antenatal appointment.

sweetie the twins sound a great weight! Hope they let you do what you want for labour. It's funny isn't it how some who don't wont c secs are forced to have them for no good reason, whilst they won't let others who want them have them. In the Midwives programme they said how expensive the CS is and implied this is partly why natural birth is encouraged so much... Btw glad it's not just me sobbing over a rodent death!

Waves to everyone else. Really sorry to miss the meet up yesterday. Would have loved to have met Bella. Am loving all the cute pics on FB of the yoni babies. More please!

ginestas At my NCT BF class one couple brought their packed lunch :-)

shazz why thank you for the compliment! I did initially wear my red with cats rain coat but decided I had to look a tad more stylish for you lot ;-)

I'm planning on taking food gin. As dildals says i'll probably get out my lunch box! We will also have come straight from work.

Sorry to hear about your weekend drama at the hospital and about your fur baby. It's sad to lose something you have taken care of and loved. I'm glad you are ok.

I'm planning on finishing all the prep with my mum next week then spending last 2 weeks cooking dinners for the freezer, napping and crocheting. And maybe the odd lunch in dulwich with dildals and bella .

Of course shazlett might put in an early appearance to scupper my relaxation plans.

Fairy how are you doing?

X

Dildals a red with cats raincoat also sounds infinitely more stylish than a 1990's festivalesque Kagool!

Hi all- no baby yet but I feel much more definite cramping and pain today, also the baby seems to have dropped lower so hopefully things are gearing up. I had an appt with a consultant this afternoon to discuss options if I go overdue. I've booked a CS for 10 days time but can also try induction by drip that day first if I prefer. She asked me first off how I was feeling and I said actually I think I'm starting to go into labour this afternoon but she was totally uninterested. I definitely prefer the midwives although she was perfectly pleasant.

gin it does sound like a fraught weekend but I'm glad you're not in premature labour. V sorry about the fur baby though at least she's not in pain anymore. Speculums are horrible even when not painful, I hate their mechanical nature.

shazza hope you get through your last few days at work quickly.

noks I'm afraid my yoni is gearing up for special ops and so might not be reporting for inspection. Good to hear from Noks Towers though.

Thanks for the update fairy. It sounds like you are making progress, so hopefully 10 days won't even come into it. Keep walking!

I am on holiday in Cornwall, enjoying it all, but amazed and slightly frustrated by the reduction in my energy and agility at this stage (18 weeks today). I keep reading that in the second trimester I should be feeling energetic and healthy, but my sleep is pretty poor so I never feel 100%. Maybe I am expecting too much!

Sorry to hear about your ginea pig gin.

Love to all. X

I was just popping in to as ANY NEWS?!!!! and here you are. I'm sure you'll not go ten days over. Thanks for the gift tips - the dinosaur egg sounds suitably awful. They're very proper so much as I'm tempted by the whoopee cushion I won't.

gin! Glad everything's ok on the premature labour front but sorry to hear about the fur baby. Get yourself on the lactulose, it works wonders if you take enough.

Spare me the yoni inspection. I have today demanded that I somehow am allowed an hour a week to have a peaceful bath and do my legs, nails etc (ie yoni) as it is vital for my self esteem and Womanly Identity.

Shazz it's such a good idea to get the freezer full. Also freeze individual slices of cake! I have banana loaf and carrot cake frozen by the slice. You will thank yourself for it later. Great that you have your mum on hand again, mine has just been for the day and I was practically begging them not to go.

Great progress here on weaning Ringlet. I have been lovingly steaming veg, pureeing pears, expressing milk, mashing sweet potatoes and boiling lentils in which she has shown little real interest. Tonight, after her (nutritionally balanced homemade) fish, brocolli and sweet potato mash she went fucking mental for some Heinz Fruity Custard I had cracked open. She ate half a pot which is loads for her, I hope this might finally mean she starts to show more interest in solids and be more likely to sleep. She can have Fruity Custard at every meal if it means I get some sleep. We will see what tonight brings...

motor it's a massive lie about the second trimester. I just felt the same, but fatter. Have a good holiday though, I hope you're eating pasties. I adore proper Cornish pasties.

onion are you allowed to wean babies onto maize based snacks?

shaz ladies who lunch, oooh! :-)

gin glad to hear it's not prem labour and as long as your happy it is indeed constipation then that's fine. But. Just a word of warning. Prem labour does feel like you have to do a massive poo. I don't want to freak you out though (but I probably have ..). Hit the lactulose though, it's one of my favourite 'drugs'.

Do you think this thread is ever going to end? I just have this vision of us all still nattering away when our children have left the house.

I don't always follow the thread that closely anymore but was wondering whether we heard anything from crisps lately?

Perhaps it can eventually evolve into a worried grandparents thread?

Dildals, Organix make what look like entry level maize based snacks for weaning. They purport to be made of sweetcorn, tomato etc but they look, to all intents and purposes like onion rings and wotsits. I shall try them in time. The custard still didn't make her sleep but she's eaten more porridge than previously this morning so I'm hopeful she is actually learning how to eat. God, it's a lengthy process though.

motor i can understand your frustration with feeling weak and knackered. I tried to tell myself that it was just a short time where I had to become a dozy cow but I would be myself again relatively soon. I did have an energy and happiness boost in the second trimester but it really hit closer to 20 weeks. Hope you have some nice daytime snoozes.

onion I also made endless attempts to get DS to eat 'healthy' weaning food. He wouldn't touch 95% of it (including pureed lentils, which I don't blame him) but he loved butternut squash. So he ate that almost every day for about 6 months. Ditto cheerios and pasta. Fruity Custard at least presumably has some fruit in it somewhere?

Well, my promising proto-contractions died down again yesterday evening and I had nothing overnight. At least I had a reasonably decent sleep, combined with my daily nap I am feeling more rested than I have for years! This morning I started cleaning out the pantry and my mum said that this must be it but it really was just to keep myself occupied (and not checking my work email) rather than some overwhelming nesting instinct.

The appointment with the consultant was a bit depressing really. Although I said I was there to decide on a plan of action if I go significantly overdue, the doctor felt the need to go into detail on the risks of a VBAC and specifcially the risks of a homebirth VBAC. She wasn't overly dire and I know all of it already but I didn't really need to hear it again. Also I was feeling rather grumpy having waited for an hour in a overheated waiting room with nacreous strip lighting and kept having stabbing pains in the undercarriage and up my back along with strong BH contractions. I know her role is to advise me on the risks so I can make an informed decision but she also felt she had to write it all out again in my notes and that I understood the risks as well and agreed to them AND then read it out to me - all of which I have already done at least twice before with MW. It would really be nice to have a bit of encouragement, which the community midwives and the consultant midwife were able to do without downplaying the other side. It's not as though I am attempting a skydive whilst 40 weeks pregnant after all - the risk of injury arising from a CS scar separation is a lot less than the risks everyone faces in childbirth such as placenta previa or cord prolapse.

Hi all...crisps here, all present and correct (although yoni will not be at the muster point just now noks). Have been a bit absent lately as have now developed sinusitis, ffs. Feel as though someone has punched me in the face, and the lovely GP apologised but said there is nothing I can take. How can we go to the fecking moon and make aeroplanes but we can't invent fucking sudafed for pregnant women? If I win the lottery I am going to invent some and become a gazillionaire. So along with my reinvigorated sickness I am currently waddling round like a pasty-faced zombie weeble. Didn't want to come on her and just moan so have been lurking oops just realised I did do a big moan! it's like sodding pregnancy illness bingo...spd, hyperemesis, colds, check...

I think the various array of illnesses has made me slightly irrational. I had a huge rant to DH yesterday about inappropriate adverts. I got a bit over offended about the flora advert...where the kids make toast for their parents unsupervised and then catch their parents shagging in bed, and then they all have a big family breakfast and giggle about it. That is not cute, right, it's a bit wierd? I'm not in the least bit prudish but I sincerely hope none of my children ever have to witness that! I then went on to list all sorts of irritating TV-related annoyances, to which DH admirably listened and nodded. Fuck, I need to get out more...

onion Dd loved anything sweet too, I found that the Ella's kitchen pouch things were like crack to her, especially the ones with fruit in. I also preferred to make my own but I definitely sign up to the 'anything to get them to sleep and eat' mantra.

fairy sounds lie you are gearing up...I 'knew' it was happening with Dd. if you are reading this rather than in labour somewhere, have a sleep while you can and pack some lucozade, all the best and fingers crossed!

shazza yay to mat leave and nesting and making nice meals. I did loads of homemade curries which we microwaved with those godawful microwaveable rices, not the most nutritious but nice after a day of babying! Still need to learn to crochet granny blankets, must get off my arse...

gin scary stuff, glad you are ok. I have had what I think was trapped wind and it was excruciating. Are you far from the hospital? Are you still at work too? Make sure you take some time off if you need it. I swear by calfig (off the shelf in supermarkets) for nice gentle regularity.

motor if there was a day I felt better in the second trimester I must have missed it. I think everyone expects you to be pregnant because they only see skinny glowing fucking pregnant instadiffers poncing around in their six inch heels while the rest of us sweat and heave at home. Most of my close friends have also felt shitty and tired through pregnancy, but I do,hope you feel glowy and heel-worthy soon. Have you got a sleeping cushion combo that works yet? I have a pillow between my legs, big cushion under my bump and one behind me which helps to sleep.

dildals have a virtual high five for bf and also running and doing lots of supermummy type things. You are clearly well cut out for this motherhood lark. Please tell me after your run you secretly sit watching Jeremy Kyle and shovelling cheesy poofs into your cake hole like the rest of us?

sweetie am off for my 28-9 wk scan and appt today, hoping not to get the stupid registrar who said (and I quote) 'you WILL be having a natural birth, it doesn't matter that twin 2 is breech, we'll just pull it out by its ankles' as in my current pragenent state I am most likely to chin her, will let you know what they say. My consultant is generally godlike and awesome so hoping for some positivity, it is much needed.

mrsHY I am off to google penis beaker now, slightly worried that next week the daily mail will be running a headline like 'pregnant perverted teacher googles penises on school laptop while on sick leave' but fuck it, I like to live on the edge, me.

fairy x-posted, sorry. Don't despair...remember it can all happen really quickly. I texted DH one lunch and told him I thought something was happening, which was then nothing but the time he got home, but then at midnight that eve I quickly started having contractions, went into hosp at 4am, had an epidural at about 9am, had a 'rest' while the midwife took her break and then had DD at midday. So by this time tmw you might have had mini fairy sorry, just realised that sounded like a cutesy icky name for a yoni, must find a better one, elflet maybe?

onion I can't wait to be a granny, all of the babyness and none of the sickness, winner!