Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

foody get on the bottom of that roll call madam! Huge congratulations, so good to hear from you especially with the awesome news!

expat she is gorgeous!

onion wow is ringlet getting to six months already? Wowsers. Hope her temperature comes down soon, it's so tiring when they are ill.

dildals re girls bits...They are pretty self-cleaning as long as they are clean in the first place if that makes sense...I tend to give her a little wash with my fingers when she is in the bath if that makes sense, I think it seems less painful or sensitive than using a q tip or a wipe when it is dry, unless she needs cleaning of course. She cleans herself pretty well now though which is an achievement for three! I remember when my best friend had a girl (having previously had a boy) and sitting with her in the hospital when baby was just a few hours old having this conversation, bless her.

I did my first lazy daisy last night, I quite liked it. A bit hippy with all the breathing and hypnowatsit but that's right up my street anyway. Yoga was funny as everyone could do it apart from me and the other twin lady there as we are much heeeuger than everyone else.

expat she is gorgeous, great hair too! Thanks for showing us. I love that feeling when you feel sorry for all the other mums as their babies just aren't a patch on yours.

crisps I cannot fit the life of me get Dd1 to wash her own bottom properly. How do you teach them?! You're very brave with your yoga class. I'd have been worried about needing a hoist to get back up.

Yes, nobody take any advice from me regarding actual baby handling. I just can't leave her to cry and it is now ridiculous how much time she spends being carried around and sleeping on me. My plan is to get her weight back on track somehow and then when I know she's not hungry etc. to move her into her own room at seven months and do controlled crying then.

I don't know how she's 6 months already either. I fully subscribe to the 4th trimester theory but extrapolating from that she's now into the 6th trimester. Time to promote a bit more independence I think.

Hello Girls

Foody! Amazing News. Congratulations Honey. I'm so so happy for you and thank you for coming to share the news with us. I understand it is early days for you and it is natural that you feel tentative but really really great news. Definitely add yourself to the list. Welcome back.

Expat what a beauty! She is so lovely. Congratulations. You need a programme on your computer that types for you if you speak outloud. Then you could multitask .

Buzzy I'm getting every freecycle email as well. I did get the daily digest at first but you have to be so quick for the baby stuff that I was missing out all the time. But I'm not looking for stuff at the moment so I might turn it off for the time being. Ebay is a good idea. Rocking chairs will be pretty cheap I reckon. I hope you are feeling better now. Can you rest this weekend? Is Bazza around to look after you? When you say you are meeting the MW in 2 weeks, who have you had your antenatal appts with so far?

Motor Glad the HB was good and strong at your appt. I first felt Shazlett properly when I was standing at the sink washing up. I was about 20 weeks at that point but then I realised that I had probably been feeling her for a while. Pops and flutters like Fairy said. I thought it was farts bubbling! Good that you aren't too far away. Maybe you and Fairy can venture to London when Mini Fairy has made an appearance and is settled in.

Onion Come to London to Soho House! Sorry you were so upset and tired but glad that DH was supportive. I also can't believe that 6 months have passed. Goodness me, it seems like yesterday when you joined us and you had a couple of weeks before Trenchlet (as she was then!) was due. I completely understand about not leaving Ringlet to cry. I don't think I'll be able to either. I'm reading the chapter on comforting in the What Mother's do book. It is really good. thanks for the recommendation.

Madness Good for you. Exactly the right attitude. Today you are pregnant. Take it one day at a time and before you know it you will have your baby in your arms. Pregnancy has taught me to be very present. I think that when I was preparing for treatment the idea of it not working was so overwhelming that I couldn't cope with thinking past where I was on that day. Would be lovely to see you in London one day also.

Dildals very valid question re little girl bits. I feel the same about little boys. If Shazlett is a he, I will definitely have to learn how to clean him properly.

Keep hilarious about pulling the cord! Poor you. Shazlett was kicking loads when I went to see West Side Story the other week. Maybe it is the music. Was it a loud rock concert? I don't understand about the NCT questions. Do you mean that you and DH had to complete the questions and compare answers?

Fairy, thanks for the pool info. We booked one last night and I ordered another liner to have a 'wet' trial run. With the hypnobirthing I don't want DP to be faffing with the pool on the big day so it is worth having a trial run so that we know exactly how long it is going to take to fill and how long the water stays warm for. Great that your appt was good and mini Fairy is in the best position. I think that Shazlett is head down, I feel a lot of pressure in my foof but she is definitely on the right hand side. It is clear from the shape of my belly. I wonder how I can budge her over to the other side.

MrsH thanks for the pool info on the text. how are you getting on with the hypno? We bought a lovely relaxing CD on itunes last night. I've been listening to it all day and its on now actually. It is the background music to the positive birth statements on the Katherine Graves hypno CD. It is called River Dawn by Catherine Marie Charlton. If all goes well, I'll have it on repeat during labour. I feel so chilled just listening to it.

Crisps Lazy Daisy sounds good spot the secret hippy and good that there is another twin mum to team up with. Did DH go with you?

How is everyone else? Noks? Sweetie? Ceara?

All fine here. We have just had a hospital antenatal class which was ok if a little unstructured. Basically she just invited questions from us which was abit random. Tomorrow we are going to the homebirth workshop which will hopefully be reassuring.

DP is at the studio so I'm going to cook dinner and catch up with Scandal. Perfect.

xx

Fairy 38 wks any day now
Shazza 34
Keep 32
MrsHY 31
Gin 29
Noks 27
Crisps 26
Sweetie 26
Ceara 24
Buzzy 23
Motor 16
Madness 7
Foody 4 (just!)

Thanks guys! will have a proper catchup on the thread over the next few days, massive hugs to all x

Yay Foody!!!

foody

shazza you are the most childbirth-prepared person I think I've ever 'met'! I hope you're as soft as me though. Today a school gate friend told me she had put her baby in her own room at two months, then closed the door and let her cry it out. I was visibly trembling at the very thought. That book is like a lovely kind mum telling you that everything you are doing is just great. I felt much better for reading it. Especially as I'm currently tucked up in bed feeding...

I'd love to totter down to London in some unsuitable heels. Maybe one day.

foody lovely to see you on the list. Look after yourself.

onion there is no way I could have put DS in a room at two months and let him "cry it out". So that he learns not to take advantage of me? At 2months? Way too young for that IMHO. I think most children have a difficult stage (or two or three) some come early and others later but it's not the parents' fault. Most of the difficulty is that they don't behave the way we think they should, not any inherent wrong doing.

Agreed fairy, I think they have many difficult phases and it's a parents job to steer them through.

Joyously we had a more normal night here with only two feeds. I feel like a different person. Pity the day involves a lengthy trek up north and back to see the in laws. Bah.

foody congrats n the BFP. As I'm new I don't know everyone's stories but I am sure that it was hard won and well deserved. Nice to have someone else here who has a long way to go!

onion I'm in Scotland. Can pm with more details if you are too.

shazza well done you for your trendy late night. We went to the cinema last night and I thought that we should try to go out as much as we can over the next 8 months before we need to start asking my mum to babysit .

fairy I hope the wee one gives you time for your much needed rest. It will take a while to properly adjust to having stopped work I'm sure.

Have signed up for a prenatal Pilates class. I used to go to a really tough class every week but fell out of the habit after my first lap. I'm hoping that I like the teacher. My last one was no nonsense but really knew what he was doing. Sadly he's moved back to Australia. I am frustrated that with surgeries and drugs I feel quite flabby and unfit. I spent the first two years of TTC working in the cold and rain with a personal trainer as well as Pilates every week. Looked into water aerobics type stuff but in my area it is all at 11:00am on a weekday. Does no one work?

Off to tidy my wreck of a house while MrM is off climbing a sort of mountain. I gave that one a pass..... Happy Saturday all.

foody congrats on your BFP

ExPat loving the pictures on FB, it great to have the 2 little mascots with Bella and your DD

Madness I have just done 2 loads of washing and mopped all the floors. I might even venture to the supermarket this afternoon.

woo hoo Onions to a bit more of a calmer night for you, glad you are feeling a bit more human. Try not to over do it on the trip up North.

Keep you are lucky the receptionist didn't rush in to rescue you. I take my sample with me to my appointments to suffer any indignity in the privacy of my own home.

Shazza we did our hospital parenting class earlier this week too. It was twin specific and run by 3 midwives all who had twins or triplets. It was really informative, covered bathing, changing and sleeping of babies. There was a whole section on breast feeding, nothing on formula feeding but hey ho. But the bit on birth, inductions and time in hospital has me a bit scared totally terrified now so I will speak to the consultant on Monday at my growth scan about my concerns.

Gin how is your cold? I am now a snot monster too. It has been lurking a few days now but am feeling it today. Plenty of hot drinks for me today I think.

I met a twins Mum yesterday and she gave me a few twins books to look at. She was telling me all about her top tips and text me this morning saying how exciting things are for us starting out on what she has had for the last 3 years with her girls. How lovely is that.

I have updated the list, I am 28 weeks on Tuesday - where did that come from???
Fairy 38 wks any day now
Shazza 34
Keep 32
MrsHY 31
Gin 29
Noks 27
Sweetie 27
Crisps 26
Ceara 24
Buzzy 23
Motor 16
Madness 7
Foody 4 (just!)

After noon ladies from the house of snooze . . .

shazza Yes Bazza is looking after me, I slept until 2pm yesterday I can't face the idea of work on Monday, all I have done is re pot some plants and i'm now resting before we go out for our anniversary dinner, then tomorrow the whanau are coming to move the bedroom around which is exciting but the thought exhausts me then we around at the out laws for din dins again.
That free cycle thing is maddening, although it would hlp if I could remember my stupid pass word

onion glad you had a better night, I thought they recommended a minimum age for letting babies 'cry it out' ?? I thought was either 3 or 6 months, as you can tell I have done no research, I don't know where my OCD anal retentative self has gone i think I'm just going to make it up as I go along

sweetie what a lovely lady, nice to have someone be positive about it all

foody do you have a scan booked :)

fairy anything happening your end, its exciting to think that when I log on in the few days you'll have a baby :)

My only accomplishment has been to frame a tea towel with 'kiwi toys of yesteryear' on it that my former MIL got me about 14 years ago :) oh and have tried to register for nct classes

Ladies with babies am I going to feel this exhausted for the next 2 or so years

buzzy yes, you are going to feel this exhausted for the next two years but you will come to think of it as normal. what are the "whanau"? Glad you are getting some rest now at least.

madness I remember seeing that all the water aerobics and most antenatal exercise classes are during the work day. Are there that many stay at home mums out there with the money to have their children in nursery or are at school? I found it very odd, but rather like how maternity clothing ranges seem to assume all pg women want loads of pairs of jeans and no other trousers.

onion a night with only two feeds! Awesome! My DS stick with that for a very long time and I could cope with it, esp when the feeds got a lot shorter.

So ladies I have started feeling a bit achey and crampy around the pelvis, but not SPD pains. And today we were at Sainsburys and I suddenly felt horribly hot and sweaty and then cold for about 10 min, like I suddenly had a fever. No idea if that is something starting but I thought I would report it nonetheless.

Sounds exciting fairy! Maybe that walk did you good? Please can we have regular updates?

ooh fairy anything unusual is a good sign. x

I am intrigued as well fairy

Could use a little handholding from those who have been here. My reassurance from the scan lasted almost a week. Stumbled by stupid ill advised google searches on lots of stories of people who had miscarriages after seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks . Don't know what I was thinking. I know that this could happen but was trying to stay positive and take each day as it comes. Now I just feel panicky. It's another whole month to get to the next scan. How can I manage this panic in the meantime?

madness you can find stories about things going wrong at every stage, which really feeds into panic. I am the queen of pregnancy panic, and was especially so in the first 10 weeks. What people have said to me which I find really useful still is that things are far more likely to go right, than wrong. I found that keeping busy and trying to stay off google are a good start. I wrote myself some affirmations and repeated them to myself whenever I found myself in a downward spiral. Hang on in there, I know a day can feel like an eternity when you are anxious about the baby, but things will get easier.

Oh it's horrible madness, but I can only agree with what motor says. I used knitting and iPhone games as a distraction.

buzzy, it's usually recommended that you wait until seven months. There's research to support that too. Lots of people do it earlier though but I just couldn't.

Oh and yes you will be this tired. You'll be very tired for about a year. Then slightly less tired. (But it will be very much worth it!)

fairy hope you're ok...

Oh mad... You know your chances are really very good now, though I know that doesn't stop the worry. Just think, each day your baby gets stronger. It's so tough, x

onion thanks I shall read it when I can get online

madness my. reassurance only lasted a few days after a scan, no reason to think anything is wrong but maybe a private scan would help, its worth paying for if it puts your mind at rest

fairy so things are happening sounds exciting

I hope I get used to this tiredness, did walk back from the restaurant in heels, about 50 mins, very pleased with myself but shall feel it tomorrow

Thank you everyone. Have walked away from google and planning some nice activities for distraction.

onion my knitting bag is being inventoried and some projects sorted out. I'm off to the fabric store now to get backing fabric for a quilt.

buzzy I will think about a private scan at 10 weeks if I'm still stressing. Ironically (and at risk of outing myself) MrM works in the medical industry and has a scanner in his office that they have never been able to convince anyone's partner to come in and use. It isn't of much use at this early stage but might be interesting when I'm further along.

motor I am thinking about mantras and I like the feeling of saying that it is more likely to go right than it is to go wrong. I will stick with that one for now.

Thanks keep. My brain knows that things are fine (no bleeding, slight nausea, constipation and big boobs) but it's just so rubbish when you can't see it or feel it. You lot are good reminders that it can work out though.

No news overnight for me. Still feel a bit crampy but no more hot flushes.

madness I bookmarked a few sites where they had encouraging stats like the risk of mc drops to less than 5% after a heartbeat is seen at 7 weeks and then went to those whenever the urge to google overcame me. This is not to say bad things can't happen after that of course but because people are more likely to post accounts of what went wrong rather than of normal pregnancies googling can make the former seem more prevalent.

motor walk was lovely, thanks for the company!

On the 'letting baby cry it out' - I do put her back in her cot sometimes straight after a feed and she then sometimes objects and fusses and cries. Sometimes I pick her up and cuddle her to sleep but sometimes I am just so tired I tell her 'I know you want be warm and close to mummy, but mummy needs to sleep too' and either give her a dummy (she has been taking the dummy recently, but not always) or just let her fuss and cry. I don't put her in a separate room (of course), she's in a bednest, so she knows we're close by.

onion hopefully the 2 feeds a night routine persists!

madness so recognisable all your emotions, this is exactly why we started this thread!

That sounds eminently sensible Dildals, part of my problem is that I don't want her crying in the night as she'll wake DD1, plus we live in a semi and I feel for the neighbours. Two feeds a night is fine though and I can keep that up for another four weeks and then bite the bullet and get her into her own room. (I'll warn the neighbours before I do controlled crying!)

Have broke out in unsightly spots today, I blame the mirena. It's really not fair to be 40 and have spots.