Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

madness you will see a kidney bean looking thing from now on so might be an idea to use it

fairy I am getting excited for you

well the whanau {family} have been and swapped the rooms over, its almost as exciting as moving, MIL has a friend who has an ikea cot that she hasn't used so we might get :) things are moving in the right in direction but still lots to do, the cat is a bit miffed by all the upheaval

I am knackered but pleased with todays effort, oh I am also booked onto an NCT class, better try and pacify the cat :)

I booked on to an NCT course today too buzzy, starting January. I think I may be starting to accept that I am pregnant and that the most likely outcome is a baby in 5 months! You?

I've been suffering a cold with a fever since Saturday afternoon. I've been taking paracetamol to manage the temperature with limited success. A bit worried about the effect on the baby, but I think that I'm not ill enough for there to be any danger. Will be off sick tomorrow - the first day off sick in this job.

A bit ashamed to say I bought a foetal heart monitor . I know this is potentially a bad move, but it has been lovely listening to the heartbeat and I can hear it moving about too. So, I have progressed from pregnancy tests to beta hcg blood tests to scans to a heart monitor! I'm now starting to feel the baby anyway, so hopefully that will get rid of the need for other reassurance.

Morning all
Onion I don't feel very prepared hence the frantic action. I did start to pile up the stuff for the birth bag yesterday and we mended and rebuilt the eBay changing table and I promptly filled one drawer with the teeny tiny baby clothes we have been given. DP asked if we could go through the clothes together so that he knows what's what. Bless he seems to think that maybe I know what I'm doing . Hope the twice nightly feeding has continued and you are ok. I think I'll warn our neighbours below us re home birth and new baby crying. How was the trip to the outlaws? By the way I'm also very spotty today . But then again I did eat a pizza on Saturday ( have been gluten free for 10 months ) it was delicious but I'm paying the price.

Madness well done with the Pilates. Sounds like you are fit and healthy. I didn't really do any exercise pre pregnancy but I've been doing 20 mins Pilates or yoga everyday since 3 months with some DVDs. I think it has saved my back. We all understand about the panic. I ended up having extra scans privately because I opted to have the harmony test so it did help. As buzzy said maybe book one at 10 weeks. They are worth it to feel reassured. Other than that it's full on distraction techniques. Crafting is a perfect solution. Quite a few of us are crafters. I crochet.

Sweetie the class sounds good and nice to have met a supportive twin mum. Good luck for your scan today.

Buzzy sounds like a productive weekend. Hurrah for family hands. I hope you rested as well. I cant believe you walked for 50 mins in heels! Well done for booking NCT.

Fairy. Oh my goodness. So exciting to be feeling things. The only other mat trousers I've seen are black polyester. Very fetching!

Motor I hope you feel better today. Glad the monitor makes you feel better. I considered it but was worried to become addicted. Well done for NCT as well. There is a baby coming!

Terrible nights sleep chez shaz. Up for a wee 5 times. That's my most so far. So frustrating. Went to a home birth workshop on Saturday that was very reassuring. We have a whole list if things to get now from plastic sheeting to something to eat for the MWs. More lists

So ladies would next Sunday afternoon be ok for a cup of tea and cake meet up? We could stay south so dildals doesn't have to travel too far with our guest of honour. I could also do Saturday but not til late afternoon. Let me know what you think and who is around.

Have a good day. X

foody! What fab news! I'm so pleased for you.

motor hurrah for booking classes! Although ours aren't amazing information-wise, I love spending some time thinking about the baby and it does make it seem more real. Sorry about the cold. The MW told me they're a good thing in a way, as you pass on immunity to the baby... I was tempted by the HB monitor but the ladies on here and Mr G persuaded me otherwise.

buzz lovely to hear you are getting all prepared and that the room is starting to take shape. That's our plan for next weekend - operation declutter!

onion hope you got some sleep last night! We're a mid terrace, so the neighbours aren't going to be happy when the screamy baby arrives. We have to listen to one neighbour yelling at her boyfriend though, so I'll see it as revenge...

fairy how are you doing today? Any progress??

mad I found the stats helpful in my early days of menkuling, although I know lots don't. Hang in there lady! I think the wait for the 12 week scan is the hardest although I am still mentalling about stuff

sweetie hope your cold has cleared up. Mine seemed to go fairly quickly, probably cos I was a lazy cahhhw and did v little.

shazz hope the HB workshop was good. Soho House eh? Tres impressed! I'd be well up for a trip one day. Am also impressed at your staying out late. On the very rare occasions i have ventured out, I noticed how the late train home stinks of booze - just shows how rarely I used to be on that train sober!

expat mini E is just gorgeous! And I love her name :)

Waves to everyone else.

Despite a fairly lazy weekend, apart from the family visiting, I still feel knackered! Neither Mr G (due to work stress) or I (due to uncomfortableness/weeing/indigestion) are sleeping well. And our fur baby appears to be v poorly. In lieu of a real baby, she has been our surrogate one for many years, so it's all rather upsetting.

I only have 10 weeks of being preggers left now (if we get to 40 weeks!), which is a funny feeling. This is very likely to be the one and only time that I'm ever pregnant, so I feel like I should now try to make the most of it and enjoy it. Despite all the swollen ankles, knackeredness and indigestion, it is pretty awesome to be growing a baby

Anyway have a good Monday everyone - only 5 days til le weekend!

X post shazz! Pleased to hear the class was reassuring. I'm about Sunday afternoon for tea and cake. And I'm going to try to sort out a nct lunch - will text you.

Hi gin

I know what you mean about enjoying being preggers. I only have about 5-6 weeks left and I feel that I will miss it in a funny way. This is also probably my only time of being pregnant. Of course we will have the bundle of joy at the end but worries aside this had been a very intense and emotional experience and I feel blessed that I have had the opportunity to grow a baby when I thought I would never have that chance. Plus I've made all you lovely friends and I'm also really grateful for that. Xx

I agree shaz and gin, though I've had a dreadful back the last few days, so am also looking forward to the end. gin you may well be preg again, even if you can't afford ivf, where there's a sperm there's a way!

gin I'm sorry your kitty isn't well. Is she quite old?

motor enjoy the hb monitor, I understand the temptation.

The health visitor came this morning for a chat. She seemed perfectly nice, from the conversation I think she just wanted to see whether there were any particular issues that might come up with me. The HV I had with DS was great, I was a bit traumatised by the birth and she was very supportive when I didn't have a lot of people around otherwise.

Annoyingly I feel perfectly normal today. Well, normal for massively pregnant but that feels normal now. I washed the new baby clothes just to reassure myself that I will actually produce the baby at some point.

evening from knackersville

honestly I feel like a complete failure, that I cannot hack work and pregnancy at the same time

gin sorry your fur baby is not well, they do know how to worry us, I can sympathise with you on the lack of sleep, Barry and I are a bit like that, he is also unwell so is home which means I won't get the bed to myself this week I always feel a tidy house = a tidy mind, there are still bits to do, but trying to set a realistic deadline.

expat I think I forgot to say how gorgeous mini expat was earlier :)

motor well done on being organised with your NCT class, if the doppler helps you then go for it

Well the cat has finally worked out which is her room, after a lot of back chat my right nork has started to sag also do you ladies talk to your baby, I talk all the time according to Barry who has on occasions just put his hand over my mouth I usually talk to the cat and call her my baby girl and my fur baby etc I'm hoping this doesn't add confusion to minibee, I am going to get Barry to start reading to her, maybe tape them, hopefully he has some interviews coming up, I'm also thinking of going and looking at some nurseries this week while he is down here, still can't face looking at prams yet

waves to everyone else

My computer has been I'll so offline for a while. Lots of catching up to do (again - sorry).

onion, 2 feeds a night sounds like progress, I too hope it persists. Boo to spots though.

madness belated congratulations on the great scan news. As everyone has said, mentalling is normal and distraction really is your friend at this time (though I have been rubbish at it myself). The odds ARE on your side now. If a scan would ease your mind and you are able to, I woukd say do it. I had first trimester bleeding and had 4 scans before 13 weeks; and like buzzy says I found the reassurance lasted only a fairly short time after each scan, but nevertheless they were sanity preserving, and each time you see the heartbeat you can focus on the improved odds. Keep hanging in there!

foody congratulations.

shazz your "what mothers do..." book recommendation was great. I am working my way through it. Very impressed at the night out at Soho House and especiallyespecially managing the staying out late. You and MrsHY are putting us all to shame :-)

buzzy I am with you on the knackered and struggling with work front. And wondering how we will cope with actual babies :-) I am not quite managing to talk to mine directly yet, which I think is the old self-protective instincts hanging on, but am doing a lot of chatting to the cat too. I guess as long as the baby is hearing our voice, the words don't matter that much?

gin I'm sorry your kitty is poorly. It's so worrying when our fur babies are ill, isn't it? Sympathies for the insomnia, too - DH is downstairs right now fretting about work for the third night in a row and I am wide awake thanks to cramp and a bit of heartburn (hey - I have pregnancy symptoms at last!!). MIL says it is nature's way of preparing us gently for no sleep at all once we have a real baby. I say banking sleep now would make a lot more sense and pregnancy insomnia is the mischief gods at work.

fairy hope all is OK with you while you wait.

We saw the midwife last week and all was OK. DH has felt the baby moving now which was emotional. We also screwed our courage up and went to an NCT sale at the weekend and got some great bedding and clothing bargains. Though I had a weepy moment standing in the queue surrounded by pregnant people and babies, feeling quite overwhelmed by the sense of being an imposter amongst all those parents, and also the knowledge of how very lucky we were to have a reason for being there. I haven't put that very well (tired and hormonal) but you'll understand what I mean, I'm sure.

Hi to everyone else.

Computer ill not I'll

Morning all

Ceara glad your MW appt was good its so exciting when DH can feel the baby move. MrS loves it. It helps him to be part of it all I think. And well done for the purchases. I know what you mean about overwhelming feelings when with lots of other pregnant women. I feel that too.

Buzz I've talked to shazlett pretty much since day 1! People who are with or near me at the time keep asking me if I am talking to them. I don't say anything in particular just tell her about my day and what I'm doing at the time. It's like a narration so she knows what we are doing. By the way you are not a failure. Pregnancy is tiring. You are making another life. If you have a physical job that is doubly hard. I stood for quite a long time on Sunday and I was so stiff and tired afterwards. Made me realise that if i had to be on my feet at work I would have had to stop by now.

Fairy glad the HV is nice. Doing the washing is a lovely thing to do in preparation. The clothes are so tiny and cute. Mini fairy will make her appearance when the time is right.

Hello to everyone else. Hope you are all doing ok.

So Sunday, so far it's me, gin, dildals, MrsH and buzzy. I'll PM everyone tonight to organise. Is anyone else around? Buzzy would you be ok to come to south London so that dildals can bring Bella?

Only 7 full and 2 half days of work left. My mat cover is sitting in my seat now and I'm on a spare desk doing bits and bobs. All very good

ceara glad your MW appointment went well and that DH can feel the baby, we are not quite at that stage, I feel her but I don't think he really can

shazza I talk to myself alot but talk to cat my more, usually baby talk about how wonderful she is I guess ceara is right as long as she hears my voice not that I'm saying 'aren't you the most beautiful furry thing in the world' what can I say I love my fur baby, I am happy to come out to the hood for a meet up depending on how knackered I am

Went to see my GP and will have some blood tests on Thursday, they think it is low iron levels, slightly low blood pressure, mornings are tough, I can only be awake for 3 hours then need to sleep again. Feeling rather pathetic to be honest

Glad to hear you went to your GP buzz - you are definitely not a failure for being run down. Can he sign you off for a week or so until they have the results of your bloods?

Wow, nearly on mat leave shazza - one of the final milestones in the whole TTC, pregnancy drama! How exciting.

ceara lovely that your DH was able to feel the baby move, and you have started buying things for the baby. It is an emotional journey this, isn't it?

How's your cat gin? Recovered I hope. It is always awful when they are poorly.

I've still got a bloody cold! Started on Friday afternoon. I told my boss I'll be back tomorrow, but am regretting it as I honestly don't feel any better. I have lost the fever thankfully, but am now just feeling bunged up and knocked out! Is there anything I should be doing as far as the baby is concerned? DH thinks I should go to the GP, but it's just a cold so I would feel a bit of a hypochondriac. Feel free to tell me to shut up and get over it!

Evening!
Motor, if you aren't feeling well don't go to work. Definitely stay home and rest. thats probably the best thing you can do for the baby. Other than that I'm not sure I'm afraid. Just look after yourself and the baby will be ok.

Buzzy, you aren't pathetic at all. If you are low in iron, you could try Spatone. That's what my MW has suggested for me and its so easy to take. Just put a sachet in a glass of OJ and it doesn't taste of anything. It is also not supposed to give you constipation like other iron pills can. Mainly it sounds like you really need some rest. I agree, is there any way you could get signed off?

Shazlett is really moving tonight. I'm worried that she might be lying traversely as it feels so tight across my belly rather than up and down. I've just blown up the exercise ball that my mum has lent me so hopefully sitting and rolling around on that will encourage her to get her head down and stay down!

I hope that everyone is ok and wish you all a good night's sleep. xx

Good morning, I've just had a brief sleep and dreamt I was pregnant. I woke shuddering.

Sorry for poorly cats, bad backs and tiredness.

Spatone was great for me post birth. I think I might go back on it for a bit.

I think as long as you talk the baby gets used to your voice. I never stop chatting to Ringlet now, I do a running commentary all day on what we're doing. I bore myself.

Frequent wakening is wearing me out again. She still won't take a bottle. It's baby weigh in later, I don't expect her to have gained so I don't know what they'll suggest this time.

I am trying to buy stairgates off eBay yet there are some total bastards out there bidding against me at the last second, every time! I am only bidding during the last 30 seconds but people must be using those sniper tools which is just bloody well cheating. Then there are the dozy gets who bid against each other two days before an item closes and do nothing but push the price up. Fools. At least she's not actually crawling yet so I can bide my time but I'd like them ready and waiting.

Hope everyone has a good day. I've missed lots but blame weariness!

Morning

Oh onion I'm with you on the eBay bidding. It's so frustrating isn't it? Why people start bidding so far in advance I'll never know. I found that if you can find listings that end during the weekdays you might have more chance. That's what I did with mat clothes. Trouble is that you are probably bidding against all the other mums who are on mat leave trying to get stair gates for curious babies! I hope ringlet weighs in ok today. Poor you with no rest. You must be exhausted. I don't know how you keep going. I guess I soon will.

I'm on my way to work. It's getting harder and harder to get up so early. I really wish I'd finished at the end of this week. Even though I know next week will be easy work wise, getting up at 5.45 after a very broken nights sleep ( the nighttime weeing had ramped up this week) is no fun at all. Just a thought for all those who have yet to plan mat leave. I was even considering doing yet another week and going 2 weeks before due date. Blimey I'm glad I didn't do that.

Have a good day all. X

Hello all! What a grotty morning. Is it cold outside Londoners??
Madness I agree with Motorcycle, Onion, Keep and all the other ladies. You can drive yourself potty with thoughts about what could go wrong but you have to remember the odds are on your side. I think it is made worse for us IVF-ers though because when we embarked on the long and arduous process to get knocked up we also told ourselves (and were probably told) that the odds were on our side to conceive naturally too. Therefore we're not great at believing that things might end up going our way :)
Gin sorry you've not been feeling great and sorry too about your cat. I have two surrogate cat babies myself and they're my world, in an unashamedley crazy cat lady way. One of them has taken to sitting very close to me every evening, and will occasionally drape an arm/paw over my bump. She's not hugely affectionate usually so I'm thinking she's divined that there's something in there that will end up materialising and competing for her attention.
Buzz sorry too that you're tired but I salute you for the long walk in high heels. When do you finish work?
Shazz you must be so excited that work is drawing to a close! Boo to the many, many wee breaks though. Am looking forward to see you on Sun. When's your next MW appt? They'll soon tell you if naughty Shazz is transverse...
Ceeara nice to 'see' you and hurrah for the NCT sale. I don't necessarily feel like an imposter around other preggos, but I do feel impossibly 'hard done by' and find any excuse to tell people how baby got there (cancelled IVF, three lots of FET x 2 embies each time, the last time with IVIG, Clexane and hysteroscopy). I wear it like a badge of honour. Which is ridiculous really, because of course people have had much harder lives and gone through much more on a non-fertility front. Other than coping with my infertility and a manic depressive and alcoholic mother I've had a fairly easy life :). And it must be incredibly boring for other people to hear!!
Fairy hope you're well and enjoying these last days??
Waves to anyone I've missed.
Just had my midwife here (I'm on this caseload care system where I get home visits from the same MW each time, I love it) and from her feeling and measuring she thinks baby MrsHY is quite wee. She wasn't overly concerned as I'm 5ft4 and fairly small framed but she did say to brace myself for the 32 week scan I will have at Kings this afternoon as if she is small they will get very twitchy. At the moment I'm feeling calm and collected but given she was a bit over-sized at the 22 week scan I'm now having visions of a dodgy placenta. Will be interesting to see if she's right... xx

shaz you'll be glad of the extra week with shazlett once she's born, so it's worth pushing on through. I think i'll be ok going on until 36 weeks, if I had a relaxed office job i'd be able to go longer, but travelling is a pain, and long days are not good. I'd say to people to see whether you can do any days from home later on, as that makes a big difference to me. I think it's worth working as long as you can so you can spend more time with the baby, and not get too bored before it turns up. Balancing act.

foody come back and tell us how you're getting on!

buzzy you sound exhausted. Can you take any annual leave?

mrsHY I'm not convinced how much they can tell from just feeling. I had a scan at 28 weeks bang on 50%; then at just over 30 weeks the MW estimated baby was at 99th percentile. As if that could change so fast, it's not like i'm on steroids (just chocolate!). I wouldn't worry, and this is the time that they start growing to their genes anyway, so if you're small. Why are you having a 32 week scan btw?

oh shaz i think kip still moves to transverse sometimes. I think lying on my side moves him back normally though. My NCT teacher told one lady whose baby is breech to put iced peas at the top of the bump and hot water bottle at the bottom. Apparently babies would rather a cold bum than cold head, so move... But equally she could just be poking her knees out sideways or whatever. I find it really really hard to tell what's going on - just feel various hard bits. I do normally get most kicks in upper right ribs though.

Cheers for our early days ladies. I think for me weeks 13-30 were almost always lovely - less worry, and not many symptoms. It's only lately with my sore back i've felt worse, but i have been lucky. Anyway, time is ticking away to those 12 week markers x

morning ladies,

so far I have found the iron tablets alright on the pooing front but shall get some spatone which sounds Italian for spaff to me I am feeling a bit better today, its just the mornings that I feel totally wiped out, I am on sick leave this week, will decide on Monday what to do after I have spoken to Occ health who might reduce my hours for a bit, my job is quite hands on. Xmas feels like an age away

keep I do still have some A/L but I plan to finish at 35 weeks just before xmas and then use 2 weeks of A/L after that as I cannot carry more than 5 days A/L over into the financial year it becomes a fine balancing act. I want to keep the odd day for Barry and I to sort things out like pram shopping etc. I have this Friday and Monday as A/L as we were supposed to go away but now can't face it and Barry has a cold, my FIL raised an eyebrow when I told him of my plan, but as of the end of the month Barry is jobless, who knows when he will have a job, hopefully soon though

mrsh I was watching cats and babies on utube last night :), my cat has been very affectionate usually snubs me but think she is more likely to try and smother minibee as she is the jealous type. I am sure all with fine, I think the measuring is a bit hap hazardous

fairy any news :)

onion you can set a max bid and then leave it which is usually what I do, it saves sitting there last minute trying to bid and hoping that the ebay computer isn't having a meltdown with everyones last minute bid, its annoying to get outbid

shazza so close to the end for you work wise :)

Cheers keep. Makes a lot of sense. The 32 weeker is standard at King's - it's a national pilot I think. The NHS are considering whether to introduce it across the board.
LOL at Buzzy and Italian spaff.

Another day down!

MrsH I hope the scan was ok. And you are reassured. Kings road test lots of stuff don't they? Must be the professor.

Keep you are right re having the mat leave with the baby. That's why I tried to push it as far as I could. I'm just feeling lazy now and as the end is in sight I just want to finish. I've got a MW appt tomorrow so hopefully she will tell me the position of shazlett. I could be getting the peas and hot water bottle out! Anything to avoid an ecv or whatever it is called. I've decided not to have one of those. My friend had one and it was awful. Really painful and she ended up having an emergency cs which she blames on that experience which was distressing for her and the baby.

Buzzy haha to your Italian translation of spatone. I hope that you and Bazza are feeling better and are looking after each other. Well hopefully he is looking after you more . Fingers crossed he finds a job soon.

By the way fairy, do you have news on that score? Has mrF got something lined up? How are you feeling today?

I hope you have all had good days. It looks like it's me, gin, MrsH and dildals on Sunday and buzz is going to let me know. I'll PM everyone later to confirm. I can see that dildals has made some suggestions (thanks dildals) of where to meet.

Off to acupuncture now. Mmmmm lovely and relaxing. Xx

Haha at spatooone.

I note that my comment about my swishy hair made the mumsnet email trying to make you buy stuff today. Bet you're all jealous. Although now I feel a certain pressure to have swishy hair. And not just on my legs.

Ringlet had finally doubled her birthweight but is still a bit petite. I told the HV I was exhausted from night feeds but they have no suggestions other than they visit me at home. Hmm.

mrsHY I hope your scan was ok. I think a mw with a tape measure is very unscientific.

shazza it is good having more time at the other end but it's also blissful to have a proper rest before the baby comes. I took four weeks the first time knowing that I'd never have that amount of peace for the next 18 years.

buzzy I know about increasing the max bid but even if you do that some fool will still jack it up. Anyway, I have pounced and bought two tasteful wooden stair gates and a bed guard for just under £20 when new they'd be £95. I am delighted!

I can now get back to mildly fretting about the cost of Christmas whilst on stat maternity pay...

Hello girls, just a quickie to say that the growth scan showed an average size baby who by their calculations should be between 7lbs11 and 8lb at birth assuming a 40 wk gestation. We saw her opening and closing her mouth lots which was very cute. Her femurs have also slowed down- they are still in the higher percentiles but not quite as flamingo like as they were before :)
Both midwife and sonographers said that there is a high margin for error with the predicted weight so we'll see! X

mrshy pleased to hear all was ok at the scan. Stupid bloody midwife scaring you! Snap with the bipolar parent (dad in my case). He managed to have a severe episode during our first ivf cycle, which was fun.

onion hurrah for ringlet doubling her weight. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night. Will she be weened soonish? Hopefully that will make things a bit easier.

shazz you get up sooo early! I'd be asleep by about 8pm if I were you. Am v impressed at you still managing to get up then. Not long til mat leave now, exciting. Looking forward to seeing you at the weekend (you will be sick of me by the end )

buzz hope you are managing to rest up. I don't know how anyone does a physical job when preggers. Just heaving myself into work is hard enough! at spatone. Spatone frittata anyone?!

keep I struggle to tell what's what with the baby. I feel most movement in the right side of my bump. The other morning there was a proper boney protuberance sticking out of the bump! Must have been an elbow or knee. Made me realise that the ginster is no longer prawn size and actually quite big!

motor hope your cold has gone. I think lots of fluids and paracetamol if you need it is what the drs would tell you. The MW told me you pass on immunity from colds etc to your baby, so having one can be a good thing...

ceara pleased to hear all was well at the MW appointment. It's lovely when DPs can feel the baby. I keep dragging Mr G's hand away from his phone to which he is surgically attached to feel the ginster. I no longer feel like a fraud amongst preggos, but it took a while.

fairy hope you are doing ok and enjoying the mat leave.

Thanks for the kind words re the fur baby. I have to fess up that she's not a kitty but a guinea piggy < outs self>, so I'm extra daft to be so upset. She's an indoor one and been totally spoilt over her 6 years with us, so it's v sad to see her declining. I don't think she now has long left :( But at least as my sister said, we have a replacement on the way!

Looking forward to seeing some of you at the weekend!