Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Hi girls

I'm setting up my show today so am negotiating group dynamics to get all the work in the space. Luckily I'm really happy with my allocated space and really it's the only place my work can be so that's good

Dildals so lovely to be out and about with bella. Did she like being out? It must be so different for her, all those colours, sounds and stimuli after being in hospital. What an adventure for you both.

Sweet image of you weighing bella on the kitchen scales good luck with the appt.

It will be great for you to be able to nip off and get your hair done. That will make you feel really good. I love getting my hair done and feel its important for my sense of well being.

Fairy did you get a snooze? I'm sitting in the college canteen and am desperate to put my head on the table and nod off.

Noks I need a translation!!! Do you mean your boobs have grown? Enjoy Cheltenham. A weekend away is such a good idea. 6kgs is perfect weight gain. You are on track.

Speaking of which I only put on a couple of kg in first trimester and was very proud of myself. Then in the 2nd it just piled on.

Sweetie I've never had a filth dog either. I'd had to take my own gluten free bun as well as have the veggie version. Not sure if that is cheating! Don't worry about your weight. As onion said eat healthily and you will be fine. Re NCT to be honest I wish it were more earth mothery in a way. It would be more interesting as I'm more inclined to being abit hippy than not. It doesn't really seem to be about much at the moment but as I've said that might be due to my expectations.

Onion thanks for the pm's. I'll reply when I'm not on the app.

MrsH have you run off bag shopping with colleen while the boys play footie?

Blimey I'm so tired and it's a long day. From here I'm going to the theatre tonight. It's a show I rely want to see so I'll enjoy it but I hope the restless legs don't strike half way through.

Have a good afternoon all. Xx

dildals would you mind if i asked you a couple of questions? You might have seen that a lady from nct had her baby at 30 weeks the other day. I want to email her but i don' tknow her very well, and also don't know how the baby is. I suppose I was wondering if i should just say congrratulations (but what if something is wrong) and that we are thinking of you. And then also would it be weird to see if they wanted to join a few of us for dinner? I don't want to annoy or offend, but equally I'm sure they are still wanting to make friends. Thanks. Good luck with the check up - let us know how she's getting on. It all sounds very normal!

fairy are you gearing up for a few weeks of cake in the bath while watching tv? Not long now!

sweetie i understand you saying that you don't want to go to nct because of the twins, but I have to say i have not found it earth-mothery at all really. I've been pleasantly surprised. shaz i think i'm the loudest there too, i think some people are very easily intimidated.

I've also heard that it's basically 0.5kg a week from earlyish in the 2nd trimester, none in the first. So that's about 13kg overall. I've put on about 10 now I think. Some people say it slows down a bit at the end. To be honest I wouldn't worry about it too much. Some will be water retention, some boobs, some baby/fluid/placenta. I think we have enough to think about already. Just eat healthily and exercise and your body'll just do what it does.

Hi keep I think it is best to congratulate her and at the same time wish her strength. No matter whether you are in NICU for 2 weeks or 2 months it is a very difficult time for parents, they all come in looking shell shocked. If baby's only prem and nothing else than v likely he'll be absolutely fine. The parents however will find little solace in that now because it is so hard to believe seeing your baby in an incubator on oxygen and a tube feed. It is so hard to leave your baby in someone else's care every night and it is still a long road to coming home. I personally really appreciated all the heartfelt messages i received even though I didn't have the mental energy to reply. We did make an effort to occasionally restore normality by accepting dinner invites and we made a conscious effort to get in with the NCT thing, so I would include them, saying that you would totally understand if they didnt want to come. Hope that helps.

Morning all!

keep that's really nice of you to consider the feelings of the lady from Nct. I think Dildals advice is v wise.

shazz I'm v mpressed at you going to the theatre after a full day! I 've given up doing things in the evenings after work. I'm just too tired! Hope all went well with the installation? I agree some of our fellow ncters are VERY quiet! It's not like we can get a few drinks in them to give them some faux confidence either. Let's suggest lunch one week and see where that goes. Ha ha at the classes not being hippy enough. You'll be popping placenta pills before you know it!

dildals hope the check up went ok? It must be great having your mum about and then Mr D next week.

fairy you must be almost in your last week at work, wohoo!

onion my DH finds my swearing amusing too. I have a rather sweary mouth on me... Do you manage not to swear in front of the kids? I manage to not in front of my mum, so am hoping the off button will work in front of the baby.

noks if only it was plastic innards at NCT, I'd feel like at least my money went towards some equipment - it was some tatty paper thing that looked like it should be in a museum! Sorry about the norks noks. I tried measuring mine the other day and ended up with a measurement of 38aa, until I realised I'd don't it all wrong!

sweetie as everyone else has said don't worry about the weight (lucky lady!). I've not been weighed either since the booking in appt , so it can't be that important (as long as I don't put on another 2 stone...)

I survived the GTT yesterday and downed the 3 glasses of lucozade on an empty stomach without puking . I'll get the results in a few days. We have the growth scan to check the baby isn't too small cos of the blood flow thing on Monday and I'm really scared! Please please may she be about the right size...

Argh MN keeps doubling all my posts! Will trying logging in and out again...

dildals hope the appointment goes well.

gin fingers crossed for some nice dull test results.

I am absolutely brilliant at not swearing in front of children, my mum, my gran, external people at work etc. it is like there's an off switch. I'm terrible when I've had a drink and am with either DH or my sisters, I think I'm most relaxed obnoxious then.

Supermarket day today. Maize based snacks will be mine.

morning ladies

I am back from GP with new bag of drugs, hoping they actually do something for me I have been at home too much that I now have a bad routine of crap TV and food

gin glad the GTT went well, I haven't been told about the lucozade yet, you don't strike me as a sweary kind of girl but they say its the quiet ones you need to look out for

noks hope you are enjoying your last dirty weekend away, did you take your pillow with you I have not bought one yet.

sweetie I stressed about my massive weight gain in the first tri as I was so sick and on so many drugs, I gained about 10 kilos in the first tri, its taken awhile but I finally feel sort of 'norma'l, the swelling in my arse from the injections has finally gone down, which thankfully means my arse can no longer be seen from space and you are having twins

fairy when roughly are you due?? I wish I was finishing work soon

keep I am sure they will be glad that you thought of them and made contact. In these sort of situations some people back off and 'give them space'

ladies I have ordered two books now so finally getting out of denial and accepting that I am most likely going to have a baby at some pointstill feel very detached from it all, I have done nothing about NCT classes, when would I be starting them??

Normally I am OCD anal retentative about these things, I would have everything organised and researched and booked by now but I really have done nothing at all

Thanks dildals that's helpful. I can't imagine leaving the baby there. It must be so lovely to be home with her at last, even though you are now embroiled in the difficult first few weeks, I'm sure it's just lovely.

buzzy so pleased your head is slowly peeking out of the sand... ;) We started our NCT classes at 28 weeks, but they vary as some pack them into longer weekend sessions where ours are spread over 5 weeks. Plus some people are 4 weeks ahead of me. So you have time. Having said that apparently in some areas of the country they do get a bit booked up.

gin massive good luck for monday. It's a while since your last scan I think, which suggests that they weren't too worried, and are just keeping an eye on her. What was the reason for reduced blood flow again? The GTT sounds nasty; am glad to have avoided that one!

We have quite a lot of stuff using up space now - it's very odd! Had my niece to stay (she's just about 3) and while adorable and gorgeous she is just exhausting. shaz how did you cope for a week? and how do people have toddlers and be pregnant. I am tired just thinking about it. Happily, I am working from home in my dressing gown, eating hot cross buns (well, chepa tea cakes actually). Classy, that's me!

expat thinking of you. Hope you are ok and just too loved up to come and tell us about it all x

Hello Girls

It's Friday morning and I'm 'working' from home. the washing is on, I've cleaned the kitchen sink and am about to make some soup and stew some apples that a friend gave us from their tree.

I am really feeling the love at the moment. Can't stop kissing DP and I'm even potentially interested in abit of BDing if I can get him to have an early night . Shazlett is moving well and I'm looking forward to getting things more organised with my mum next week.

Last night Shazlett loved the musical and 'danced' all the way through the show. In the end I wasn't needed at the set up in the afternoon and snuck home for a pre theatre nap so I was bright as a button throughout the performance.

Keep, I think that it is so thoughtful that you are making contact with the couple. Dildals advice is spot on. I know that I would want someone to acknowledge what had happened and not just avoid us because they didn't know what to say. Even though it is so hard to know what to say in those circumstances. I didn't have DN1 exclusively for a week. My mum was there to be primary carer and I was the help. It was tiring though. they just go and go at that age. I'm also full of admiration for all of you with DC1s.

Dildals, how did you get on at the hospital with Bella? How lovely to be able to take her in but bring her home again.

Gin, my posts keep doubling up as well. Oh well, we will just have to start a 4th thread when this one is full! I quite liked the drawings at NCT and DP is a life drawing teacher so he was very interested but you are right they did look like they should be behind glass in a cabinet rather than used for teaching purposes. I wonder what delights tomorrow will bring? We start our hospital antenatal classes this afternoon. Our midwives are all lovely so hopefully it will be informative and practical. Well done for not throwing up at your test. fingers crossed that you have good results. and Good luck for the scan.

Onion, thanks for the cot picture. I've accessed it now and saved it to show DP. The cot looks too big for the tiny space that I've got to squeeze it into. We really need to measure it. I'm worried that we may need to rethink the sleeping arrangements in this flat over the next couple of weeks. I don't swear that much but DP does and I keep asking him if he will be able to not swear in front of Shazlett. I think that half the time he doesn't know he is doing it. Instead of swearing I'm always saying things that my brother deems inappropriate in front of DN1. I can't think of an example now but he always seems to be telling me off. Enjoy the maize based snack supermarket sweep.

Buzzy, hope the drugs have kicked in. I don't know what crap food you think you have been eating but on here you usually mention beans on toast and they aren't too bad. At least they are good protein. What books did you order? I went to my local library to get some books but they were all pretty poor to be honest. I started to read the What Mothers Do book and even the introduction is great. I think that it is one that we should all read. Re antenatal classes. Do you have any provided by the hospital as well? Are there any of those lazy daisy ones near you? They seem like a really good bargain. Check out NCT in your area as well. We started them at 30 weeks but that was because of timings of the class. I think that I'm the furtherest along in my group. Doing abit of gentle research will help you feel more empowered and help with the denial. I find that I feel much better more in control if I have the knowledge of what is going on.

I hope that everyone else is ok and is out there lurking......

Shaz xx

Hello, hello! Sorry for radio silence. Am busy reading and catching up. How are you all? I got a chest infection and then roadworks cut off our internet - catastrophic!
Mini expat is gorgeous. She's currently sleeping but will soon be bellowing for a boob session. Shazza, thanks so much for your msg. Will be joining and boring everyone to death with photos very soon. x

Hi all- thank god it's Friday. Only one more week to go for me but wouldn't you know it I just got instructions from a client today which means doing something v complicated in a huge hurry next week, when I am already out if the office on something else for three days. Oh well.

buzzy I will be 37 wks on Monday, which is officially full term. Don't I feel it. I've started to even dream uncomfortable dreams like I'm on a super crowded train with a load of heavy bags in my lap!

expat good to hear from you and that all is well.

shazza don't worry about DP swearing, shazlett won't notice for a while yet!

buzzy hope the new drugs work. I can't imagine how hellish it must be.

gin good luck with growth scan on Mon.

noks v jealous of your weekend away.

Hi to everyone else, I'm at DS swimming lesson so should try to not to be on my phone the whole time.

Expat how lovely to hear from you! Can't wait to hear more about mini and how you are both getting on. Come back soon.

Buzzy don't worry if you don't get a place at NCT, I've managed fine without it. I found NHS classes pretty hopeless and we only went to two of the four. They were very patronising and even DH didn't learn anything so we quit. You can learn more than enough just reading if necessary.

Keep, being pregnant with a toddler is not much fun but you do get to go to work for a rest. It makes a big difference if your toddler is a reliable sleeper too. But whatever, I'm not tempted to ever do it again!

Shazz, it is a standard size cot so maybe the photo makes it look bigger? I hope you can accommodate something in your room. Are the rental cosleepers smaller?

My DP swears quite frequently in front of children but we argue as to what actually constitutes swearing. He says things like 'bloody' aren't swearing and I say 'so if DD1 says to her teacher 'here's my bloody homework' then that's fine?' And he says 'she'll know not to do that' and I say 'she won't if she hears you say it all the time (you fucking idiot)' and so on. Luckily, she has yet to copy either of us. One day I'm sure she'll have a grand meta swear when she is with either my mother or the headmistress.

Unfortunately, I am the opposite of loved up and am tired, narky and need a tiny bit of time off. As such I've asked my parents to come over next week and have Ringlet for the afternoon (when she's not feeding). I really need to catch up on boring admin, plus I've got an academic paper to submit, and an outstanding expenses claim that I need to get in. Also I really want a cup of tea, on my own in my study.

Oh and fairy full term! That's a milestone.

Evening ladies. Can I join you? buzzy said this would be a good place for me to come. It will take me a few days to get to grips with who you all are!

About 5+5 today after our second ivf round. First time pregnant and the worry has kicked up a notch. No reason really. I am feeling fine - sore boobs, mood swings, no bleeding, some mild cramping. I have only one tube but convinced that this embryo has set up camp in the remaining one. stupidly did a digi test and not at 3+ weeks yet which made me start stressing. Scan is a week from Monday. A slap from some people who have been here would be much appreciated!!

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Hi madness and welcome to the thread! Congratulations on your bfp - I hope you can enjoy it, though it does take us a while... I've never done a digi test but I have read hundreds of time on here that they are crap, so I would not set much store by that. Time passes incredibly slowly until that first scan, so no slap from me.

I'm 30+1 after IVF; first time lucky on that one. Starting to feel rather large and bulky now, but just incredibly happy and lucky at the same time.

expat it's so lovely to hear from you - I'm so pleased that all is going well, but sorry that you had a chest infection. How horrid. Did that impact on breastfeeding?

fairy well done you on getting to 37 weeks. I just read today that 80% of first timers will go over. I've been so focused and worried about being early that that hadn't really crossed my mind. Anyway, just one week of work left for you! Brilliant. I hope you get an appropriate amount of time after stopping work that you don't get bored but do get a rest before she arrives. Do you have a name sorted?

onion you crack me up with your convo about swearing.

how do saturdays go so quick...

shazza beans on toast is a staple of mine, I do have cheese with it

mad welcome I was wondering how you were 3+ on the digi is about right, waiting for the first scan can seem like forever

expat lovely to hear from you

onion I did wonder about not going but then think maybe see what is available

I have been looking at growbags and swaddles :) Barry has been reading one of the books I bought :)

Also I have been feeling a bit more movement, the new drugs have helped alot too,

Hello madness. We'll happily tell you not to worry but you will anyway and we'll understand. One minute / hour / day at a time is all you can do.

Buzzy I love beans on toast too. It is mine and DD1's standard tea when DH isn't here. See also boiled egg and fishfingers. It's great eating with a child. Glad he's reading - I wonder what his verdict will be.

keep, a good thing about an ELCS is you know you're not going overdue! There is a long list of things to induce labour from nipple twiddling to eating pineapple, not sure on how effective they all are but worth a try once you're at the point. Of course, I avoided them all thinking I might go into labour before my section date and have to have a normal delivery when I was totally set against that!

Nightly two hour feeds continue here. I've been in bed since 8.30.

Hi madness and congratulations! We have all spent the wait between BFP and first scan in a state of near hysteria so know how you feel. I'm 37 weeks after my first IVF cycle TTC no 2. The only advice I can give is focus on the positive, if you have a BFP you are much more likely than not to have a successful pregnancy.

keep the ideal would be for this baby to come around 39+4, then I would have almost two weeks to rest but not go overdue and have to start thinking about sweeps, induction, CS etc. most first babies are late but I went into labour on my due date with DS (he wasn't born until 2 days later but still). You're 30 weeks now! That's almost "heavily pregnant" territory!

buzzy so glad to hear the new drugs are working.

onion 2 hr feeds- no wonder you are not feeling the love. I wouldn't be feeling much apart from desperation. When are you planning to start weaning? Couldn't you try some rice mush now?

AFM I am overjoyed to say that my clients who had instructed me to do something burdensome next week emailed yesterday to say they had changed their minds. Thank god. I just have to get through until Fri. One of my colleagues keeps trying to get me to agree to some sort of leaving party. She means well and I feel bad for being negative but I just can't face any additional commitments. I also don't want to talk about my pregnancy at work and my colleagues will ask. And tell me how enormous I am.

fairy I'm giving her baby rice and fruit purée everyday, only about 4 molecules actually get swallowed! It's that tricky inbetween where milk isn't enough but she's not learned to eat yet.

Nice work news but Eek! at the leaving party. My lovely office mate knew how anxious and not wanting to make a fuss I was but she still arranged something. She arranged a card and a gift voucher signed by everyone on our corridor and she bought some cakes for a little tea and cake break the afternoon I left that was just for my immediate colleagues, so there were only four of us. That felt nice and low key and I sat at my desk the whole time!

DD1 was born the day before her due date. I went into labour after being startled by a joyrider. Another reason I'm glad I now live out in the sticks. Although farmers on their quad bikes can be pretty noisy.

buzzy so pleased the new drugs are helping. Hope you find a class that suits you.

gin good luck for MOnday and for the GTT results. Fingers crossed.

fairy wow, 37 weeks, how did that happen already?! I hope your last week at work goes smoothly with no more last minute horrors. I realised on Friday that I have 3 months to go and that in itself is panicking me already!

noks like fairy said, very jealous of the long weekend away but not so much of the in=laws joining you :-)

expat lovely to hear that mini expat is doing well. I'm sorry you've been poorly yourself and to hear of the internet catastrophe.

madness congratulations on your BFP. Like everyone has said, one day at a time an dlots of distraction is the best you can do for yourself just now. The 2ww has nothing on the period of waiting for the 7 week scan. The odds ARE on your side now but it's such a terrifying wait.

*onion" well 2 hourly is a small improvement on hourly but still - aargh!! I am awed that you are still stringing words together. Thank you by the way for sharing the hospital bag list. I am clinging to your other list, of baby sssentials etc, like a drowning person [though still too superstitious to actually buy anything yet]

shazz glad you enjoyed the evneing out and that you were able to sneak in some sleep beforehand. I have just booked to take my mum to the theatre in a couple of weeks but have been a lightweight and booked tickets for the Saturday matinee.

dildals so good to see you posting of life with Bella at home. I hope the checkup went smoothly and going back to the hospital for it wasn't too awful - and that leaving together felt good.

sweetie I have never had an IKEA filth dog either. I think because the hot dog stand is near the exit and once I have sighted the way out of IKEA hell there is no stopping me racing towards freedom and the outside world.

I think with weight gain we are all different and also all so vulnerable to the "you seem big/small" comparisons, so unless your midwife is concerned about growth on the evidence of actual scans or measurements, I wouldn't fret.

MrsHY, crisps, keep, motor, I hope all is good with you.

So I had my 20 week scan take 2 (at 22 weeks) last week to check the parts of the spine and heart which couldn't be seen properly first time around due to the baby being unco-operative. All is well thank goodness.

But I have to report another Chinese gender predictor fail. Sweetie's boy has competition. I am still in shellshock / blind panic at the idea of parenting a boy, which somehow it never occurred to me would happen (doh!). Babies of either variety I know nothing about, but I'd naively kidded myself that once my daughter started walking and talking, I'd be a little more in my comfort zone. Little boys are completely unknown territory (no brothers, girls school to age 13, brought up by mum and grandma after perants divorced - I am officially clueless about boys and how they tick!).

On the other hand, it is probably to the good as at least I'm not going to be under any false illusions that at any stage I will know what to expect or do :-)

onion that sounds like a perfect mat leave party. After all it's not like you are going away forever, at least I'm not. It's just that we had a team lunch last week where when I came into the room, one of my senior colleagues (who had twins herself) who hadn't seen me in about six weeks, pointed at me and shrieked, "oh my god oh my god". Another keeps saying that " there must be more than one in there". I know they mean well but I hate being the focus of attention due to my appearance at the best of times and I am trying to maintain some sort of professional appearance!

I understand re ringlet and not really eating. She will get the hang of it eventually but god it's tough for you in the meantime.

shazza hope your show goes well, how wonderful that you are an artist.

dildals I meant to say earlier that I'm really glad you are getting a bit more of a rest and your hair done. Those sorts of things make a big difference.

That said it's nap time for me now.

ceara great news your second scan was fine. And congrats on the boy! I was nervous about having a boy too before I had DS but he will just be your child and it will be fine. Now I'm worried about having a girl because I feel I know boys better! And if a gender stereotype is any consolation, boys are supposed to be much sweeter to their mums, mine loves to give me flowers and little gifts and kisses "as long as you don't tell anyone".

ceara congratulations on your boy, it's about time someone else had one! I would be exactly the same having had only sisters, female cousins, all girls schooling etc but as fairy says he will be your child and it will all happen so gradually that you'll pick it up as you go along. If it's any comfort I am struggling enough with DD1 as a girl as I feel I'm supposed to be passing on all these strong female messages, but feel hopeless confused about most issues myself.

Hello all!
Ceera a baby boy, at last!! Mind you, there are a few unknowns aren't there - keep and shazz you could be harbouring boys too couldn't you? And noks?
Onion thank you for the hospital list - I'm planning a homebirth but want to have a bag packed given well over half of first timers end up transferring. Dildals from a night on the gynae ward I agree that they heat that place to about 10 degrees warmer than the surface of the sun, so will also be taking a handheld fan and a million batteries. And perhaps some kind of crochet bikini (the bottoms prob won't look great over my shattered, massive maternity-padded fanjo though).
Fairy I hope you enjoyed your Sunday night nap? I've just woken up myself...
Buzzy I salute your cheese and beans on toast, also one of my faves. As for swaddles - are you going to DIY or get the Velcro ones? I picked up a couple of Velcro ones at Kiddicare - I don't like the look of them as much as the big muslins but they seem really easy and unless she's Houdini she won't be able to get out of them. Mind you, a couple of my mummy friends have since pointed out that she might not stand for swaddling at all...
Hello Madness! Welcome and congratulations. I think we have all varied in our levels of worry as our pregnancies have worn on - I was quite lucky I think in that after 12 weeks of panic something just switched and I have enjoyed every day since. This one is the result of a cancelled IVF and three subsequent FETs. She was biding her time.
Hello expat! Can't wait to see some pics.
Shazz and Gin - I start my NCT next Sat - same branch as you but different teacher. I agree with you Shazz that I have high expectations but fingers crossed they will be met, as two of our good friends have gone through the same course in the past year with her. Hopefully you're quiet bunch will warm up. Gin, good luck with the growth scan.
Dildals lovely image of Bella in a mixing bowl :). Hope you treated yourself to a little Starbucks when visiting the mecca that is the Dog Kennel Hill Sainsbos.
Noks I don't know whether to congratulate or commiserate on your new, massive wammers? Mine have definitely grown again in recent weeks, as has my back as I have to wear all the maternity bras at 7 weeks pregnant with back extenders now. I'm looking forward to retiring all my pregnancy undies and resurrecting my old stuff, although I don't think my cup size will probably ever be the same again.
Hi to everyone else.
All good here, although sadly Colleen and I are not destined to be pen pals. I never summoned up the courage to speak to her. Oh well. I went to a wedding yesterday! Had a brilliant time and was tearing up the dancefloor. Even attempted to replicate MC Hammer's moves from 'U can't touch this'. Must have looked UTTERLY ridiculous (although was wearing my favourite Isabella Oliver dress with my Power Mama Spanx underneath - which I can HIGHLY recommend) but I'm making the most of having bags of energy at the moment. At 30 weeks on Weds I don't think it's going to last... x

Christ Mrsh, what with your wammers, shattered fanjo, crocheted bikini and MC Hammer dance moves you have just made me laugh out loud. How you managed to dance at all defeats me. I was at a wedding at about 28 weeks and could only teeter about on my (very modest) heels as DD1 tried to make me dance with her. I ended up saying to her 'Daddy will dance with you' and unfortunately he did. DH knows absolutely no shame when it comes to dancing. I couldn't actually watch.