Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

fairy your boss sounds like an utter dick. I hope karma does her work on him, ignore his stupid ideas and look forward to your hot tub, sorry hb pool experience

shazza we do pick our battles...she had a Beatles t shirt, tutu and wellies yesterday but the dress she wanted to wear today would have shown her pants off and it is freezing! Bless her heart. The bat

sweetie we swaddled...in the daytime to begin with to keep an eye on temperature but she loved it. Argos had packs of swaddle blankets quite cheap randomly last month, but I ended up doing it with normal cotton sheets in the end, fajita style.

Just a thought...expat if you are lurking hello, hope all is well with you and that you are enjoying your baby bubble

X posted mariana hooray for weaning...try pear and butternut squash if you can be arsed...used to fill dd up. And my dd luckily doesn't insist on tight, but DH did once send her in to nursery in a t shirt and just tights because he didn't realise they were different to leggings. He sent her in odd shoes once too but the lovely nursery staff always rescue him, bless!

sweetie I tried swaddling but DS didn't like it (or being in a sling). I am quite claustrophobic as well so I didn't persist but I know others who have found it worked really well.

mariana yay to the weaning! We started giving DS baby rice at 4 months because he was so hungry. The first time I tried it he grabbed the bowl and wouldn't let go until he had eaten it all! It didn't interfere with his BFing at all. Enjoy your early night (I am in bed now too!)

Thanks buzzy and crisps re boss. He really is great in many ways but he has a complete failure when it comes to appreciating the demands on others. Part of him being a total workaholic but in denial about it, so he has to deny it in his employees as well. Only 12 more days now until I'm in the HB hot tub though! And DH just got 3 weeks contracting work in London so we won't starve next month either, v relieved.

My pillow has a first class honours degree in Bloody Comfortable from Cambridge University. FACT. I, too, bring you a slightly RANTY (my autocorrect came up with this word for ranty:randy. hmmmm, that's an entirely different broadcast from my boudoir, but one which buzz has probably seen on YouTube during her 'experimental phase' earlier in the thread) broadcast from Pillow Towers tonight, campers. However, first things first.

dildals if you don't come on here and rant, we will collectively box your ears. You are going through so much right now that things are bound to be either really up (Bella is coming home soon) or really down (Bella is coming home but not until these sodding obstacles have been overcome). I am sure the hospital just want to make sure everything is right and that once she is home, that's where she stays. Hang in there for just a little while longer. Lots and lots and LOTS of love.

crisps I happen to absolutely adore that Elbow song. Sharing that story with us all must have had its difficulties, so thank you. It was really moving to hear (and really uplifting at the same time). Xx. You know you had the Spanish friend who looked amazing at nine months preggo ? Well, I had the same experience on Sunday. My mate, who is due today, came for lunch on Sunday. She looked amazing (all compact bump, trendy top and high heels). Anyway, the poor thing felt a bit sick mid-way through and had to leave. After she went, a couple of my mates were discussing how amazing she looked. They shouted across to me and said 'didn't blah look amazng'. of course, i agreed, because she did. They asked me how many weeks I was, and I told them. One of them said 'if you're that size now, imagine what you'll be like full term'. I asked them if they thought I would be massive and one of them said 'well, put it this way, you won't look anything like blah'. Nice. I also got totally stiffed on the bill so while I had a nice time, I did come away feeling like a heifer and several pounds (not in weight, obviously, because I am a fat cow) lighter. I reckon we should all hire a birthing tub, fill it with hot water and sit in it and eat maize based snacks and hairbos until we fucking explode, right around Christmas time.

fairy your boss sounds like a massive penis. buzz was bang on the money when she said what he should do with his idea. I am glad DH has found some work in That London. Just in time for DD to be born too.

mrsh get you and your fancy hollibob ways. Sometimes I do envy Coleen, but then realise that she has to wake-up with Mr Potato Head Shag-a-Granny every morning. Yuk.

shazza how are things honey ? Can I ask when you are planning to go back to work next year ?

keep my back is also a bag of shit at the moment. I hope you feel a bit better.

sweetie I am planning to swaddle. My mate could not recommend it highly enough and said that it made a huge difference to her DS. That is if the nipper likes it, of course.

buzz I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. I cannot believe you are still being sick. Thank god for Barry his amazing cooking skils coming home to rescue you.

mariana I really hope DD2 takes to weaning ! Your description of feeding her and looking out of the window, being so thankful, was just lovely.

Hi to ceara gin and expat too.

I am unsure whether to be a bit miffed about something. BIL has asked DP to be a godfather to his little girl but not asked me to be godmother. BIL and DP are not close at all, but I think it's a nice gesture for him. We have been together for eight years so hardly a short term thing. On the one hand, if someone doesn't want me to be godmother, I would rather they not feel obligated to ask me. Clearly they don't want me to be godmother because they haven't asked me. On the other hand, I think I may be a bit offended. Dunno. It's a difficult one.

So, as well as being a big ole fat chocolate and cake eating monster, I am also a terrible SIL. My MIL has also had a little word with DP about us not travelling back to the badlands of the north to visit that much. I haven't been back for four years, apparently (which is bullshit). He suggested going back in October, which is really hard for me to arrange as I'm packing-up work in the middle of November, so I had to say no. No doubt perfect SIL goes back all the fucking time .

I think I may just want to sit in my massive pillow eating Yorkie bars till I feel sick.

Nighty night

Noks xx

Collette? Colleen even. Coleen? How do you even spell that? Oh who gives a shit?

That was not nearly a long enough nap.

Noks. It's good that you've bonded with the pillow. Personally, I though people asked couples to be godparents but I am wrong about that. My sister has many of these appointed for her offspring and they are sundry. I wouldn't bother as it saves you having to keep buying them stuff and feeling morally responsible for them. I think it's best to despise them quietly for eternity a while though. Can your inlaws not visit you or are they the kind that fear the bright electric lights and the gold-paved streets of London and don't get me started on the foreigners. (My family are all Northern and I have an aunty who has only been to London once in her life and she Didn't Like It. She is not even 60 so not some old dear either.)

Nice comments about how fat you are. That reminded me that in my sleep deprived state today I ate an entire bag of Harino I found on top of the cooker. I don't even like Haribo. I bought it to give to my older neices in the summer and annoy my sister but forgot about it. I think it made me a bit odd as the HV said I was looking well when actually I was a bit flushed about the cheeks. I think I was smacked up on Haribo.

I heard today that a mum at the school gates had her baby yesterday. I would have put her at about 24 weeks but apparently she was full term. They are all really skinny at our school gates. Except me and my Haribo.

fairy good job news for DH. Hope there's lots more to come.

sweetie I didn't swaddle as they both looked at me reproachfully then screamed the place down. I then compromised by swaddling them with their arms free. Which isn't really swaddling but kept their legs warm. Their Moro reflex was awful for wakening mine all the time but they just wouldn't tolerate it. I probably should have been firmer. Babies look hilarious swaddled though, like massive cigars.

Oh it's going to be another long night here. Everyone is snoring except me.

Awww dildals ((hugs)). It must be so so hard and as everyone has said, this is totally the place to come and vent. It sounds to me like Bella must be doing incredibly well for them even to be discussing her coming home shortly. The idea of sick babies whose parents do go to see them every day makes me v sad. I 'll come and visit them! Hope today is a bit better and things get easier.

Hope you got some sleep mariana. at being smacked up on Haribo. Must try it... Is it today DH is off so you can have a bit of a rest? Some of my friends have been permanently ill after baby #2, mostly due to the exhaustion and not being able to properly kick bugs.

noks the whole let's split the bill so the pregnant lady pays for our booze thing really pisses me off. I've been quite vocal about it and refused to pay for their Pinot Grigio. I didn't know that godparents are normally couples, as that's not what our parents did, so don't be offended! Funny you should mention the northern badlands, we're up there this weekend, not having been since Xmas. But PILs have been great and not moaned and even made the trip down to That Scary London in spring.

fairy I agree about your boss being a knob re the driving. You aren't even allowed to take your test when you are over a certain amount pregnant. And it's so fecking expensive to have lessons. When do you finish work? You must be shattered!

crisps your story made me well up too. So lovely and moving. I can't wait to be a family - it's been such a long time coming. I have to fess up to a bit of a Garvey crush too. I feel massive, lumbering and knackered and I only have one onboard and can do flexi hours, so can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

Poor you buzz still being sick. I really do feel for you. I couldn't have managed more than the 4 months I had of it. Lots and lots of good luck for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you. Enjoy seeing your little girl again.

mrshy I can't decide if I'm well jel of you sharing the pool with Coleen and potato head or not! Hope you are having a fab hollibubs.

shazz hope you managed to get some me time with Mr S last night. The yoga teacher texted me!! So I feel obliged to go next week...

Waves to sweetie, keep, ceara and everyone else.

A rather shallow question for you- what are people doing/did do about winter coats? I don't wanna buy one for just 3 months, but can't get my winter coat done up and hate being cold!

Hee noks. Maize based snacks are the way, the truth and the light. Mr Tesco will be delivering a truckload to me later, ace. Re: godparents, I did think people asked couples, but having said that we are asking a couple and then one of my friends on his own without his partner...but they haven't been together for very long and he and I have been friends for years, so this seems a bit different.

mariana bah to skinny preggos. Not only does it take years and thousands of pounds to get pregnant, but I seem to be of the pale zombie like pregnant variety. Haribo does help though, you need to be smacked up on e numbers when sleep deprived!

Noks I have a selection of pillows at the side of the bed to swap and change through the night. I am a fickle pillow fan.
I am surprised you kept your cool with friends comments so horribly about your size. You are pregnant therefore your job is to grow a whole new person from scratch. It really winds me up that people feel they have the right to comment when they are just being rude.
I haven't heard of couples being God parents either. I am God parent to my brothers kids but wouldn't expect him to have asked DH.

Mariana how are you doing today? Is Trenchlett still feeding one the hour and every hour?

Gin I am digging out a thick poncho I have rather than a Winter coat. But I only have to get from car park into the office rather than a commute on public transport.

I love love love Haribos and Percy Pigs they are my sweet of choice. I once watched how they make them and even that didn't put me off. I love the thought of being smacked up on Haribos.

Thanks for all the the swaddling cigar babies tips. So do babies wear a full babygro under the swaddles and if it is cold is an extra blanket required? I have ordered the duo Grobag swaddles so am going to give it a go. I will have cellular blankets on standby too in case if they are not too keen.

Swaddle wraps are usually quite thin Sweetie so I would do long sleeved vest, sleepsuit, swaddle wrap and then one or two cellular blanket layers for night time - if your house is average temp of about 19 degrees.

How can you love Haribos? You dirty get!

Gin, three months is a long time if you use it everyday, cost per wear innit? I'd be tempted to get a larger size / maternity friendly style coat from Primarni or Tesco. I wouldn't get a maternity one as that's probably £££. I'm just looking at Tesco parkas for myself and they look ok for £30.

DH is not off today but went in late. He got up at 5 with Trenchlet and did the school run allowing me two whole hours of uninterrupted sleep, I am fine as a result and about to go and buy some weaning stuff (and some maize based snacks no doubt). I hope it makes a difference. It has to! I should wean her onto maize based snacks and Haribo. That'll teach her.

Mine don't have godparents but I have formally left them to my sister in our will. That's something you should all do in time actually - it's horrible, horrible, horrible, but worth making a will and specifying guardians and estate trustees.

I'm just wondering whether I can go for a wee with Trenchlet sleeping on me without wakening her. Ninja weeing. I'll have to try or there'll be an incident.

Hope everyone has a good day!

mariana like the aptly named sweetie I love Haribo and can easily eat a bag if not restrained. I am sure you are not the fattest mum at your school gate unless your DD goes to a v unusual school!

noks like the others I am totally amazed at your friends' comments, comparing you to the other PG friend. The only possible justification I can think of for this sort of thing is that people think that being PG and having a baby is such a thoroughly good thing that it somehow nullifies the hurt of telling the PG woman how enormous she is (when in our society being extremely thin is so much the ideal). Otherwise they are just being bitchy but as they are your friends I would hate to think that.

I am all for retiring to the HB hot tub with Haribos and crisps! I have begun to think that the Victorian practice of being 'confined' once you got to a certain girth to actually be a great idea.

gin I have 11 days left of work after today, my last day is 27 Sept (almost 38 wks). After that I will lie down and refuse to get up again until I give birth.

On the winter coat dilemma, what about looking on Ebay for a size up in one of those 'cocoon' style coats that have been around for a couple of years? With DS who was born in March after a chilly Feb I think I got away the last few weeks with leaving my coat open but hanging a heavy scarf/poncho around my neck to ward off the chill. I am totally impervious to cold when PG anyway, you might find it isn't as bad as you anticipate.

Morning all
Am on my way to work after the MW cancelled my appt at the last minute so I'm going to be 2 hours late for nothing. Oops!

Fairy ggrrrr re boss. What a knob. Clearly he has never been pregnant but hurrah for DH having 3 weeks work. I know that feeling. DP sells a painting and we think phew another month we can pay the bills. Fingers crossed it continues for you. 12 days to go I'm sooooo jealous.

Sweetie and crisps if I could stamp my feet and wear a tutu and wellies I would

Crisps pear and butternut squash mixed together?

Buzzy oh my goodness to wretching. I'm glad you took the day off. You have to look after yourself and mini bee. Thankfully Barry is back in the kitchen tonight. The man sounds perfect. I do love a man who can cook. Last night I napped while DP cooked a fish stew thing. It was lush!

Mariana our little trenchlet is weaning already? How can she have grown up so quickly? I hope you caught up on a little sleep and the night was ok. Oh and haribo ontop of the cooker? Luckily I don't like sweets. I know I'm odd. But the idea of haribo puts my teeth on edge.

Noks with friends like those..... Darling don't worry. You are gorgeous and are nurturing your beautiful baby. I'm also concerned about the effect that the recent growth spurt that shazlett has had on my future figure but I'd rather have a baby. I've officially put on more than the ideal amount In the NHS book. Luckily I read something else yesterday that gave the upper ideal limit for my weight as16kg not 12kg so I've decided to ditch the NHS guidelines and go with some random google search instead.

Re god parents. Well I've actually had a similar experience. Firstly I didn't know that couples were asked together so don't worry about that. Last year my bro didn't ask me to be godmother to DN1 but they asked the sister of SIL from hell. Tbh I wasn't expecting to be asked as one of the reasons I dislike SIL so much is that she told bro that I wouldn't be a good mother. So she was hardly likely to entrust herDDs moral development with me. I was still upset tho and my mum was really upset. I had to sit through the christening whilst TTC and thinking about IVF. It was awful and in the end I ran out of the church in tears. I have got over it and now it doesn't make a blind bit of difference. As you know I've just had a marvellous time with DN1 and I looked after her perfectly so so much for being a bad mother. If it is good for DP and his bro then I would be pleased for him and concentrate on preparing for the nipper's arrival. You can save the money you would have had to spend on presents for a fabulous new dress to wear to the christening. You will look resplendent.

Gin I know the yoga teacher is really pushy! I emailed her to say that I owed for last week and wasn't going this week so can I post a cheque and she wrote back and said I can pay next week. I don't think I'm going to go. I'd rather save the money and not have to face all the Balham yummy mummy set with their small bumps, bed head hair and bugaboos. Looking forward to Saturday though.
Hello to everyone else.

Well I'm nearly at work now. Have a good day everyone.

Xx

Shazz, SIL sounds so horrible. It's so disappointing when siblings marry idiots. The christening sounds like a total ordeal too.

There's something quite romantic about your DH selling a painting and then you can eat, but I'm sure it's not like that at all. I've read too many 19th century novels.

It's a strange high up built in cooker so I treat it like a shelf. The Haribo weren't melted to it in one congealed mass of horses hoof and E numbers. Although that is what's now in my stomach. I don't like sweets either except in pregnancy when I suddenly like wine gums.

Weaning recipes are great. I don't like how smug Annabel Karmel seems to be but she has some good recipes. (I think she might be the Kirsty Allsop of baby food.)

Trenchlet's been asleep on me for two hours now - and I went for a wee! I couldn't do my jeans back up though so I hope I don't need to answer the door. We have the same postie everyday and I don't want him to see me with my jeans round my ankles.

My life is very19th century Mariana . My heroine is Elizabeth Bennett. If I take up fairys revival of bring confined that would suit me perfectly.

Re coats I'm wearing a very fetching Gap Kagool at the moment to keep dry at least. It is so old. I look like I'm going to a festival or a 1990's gig by The Farm or Oasis . I even thought of asking my dad if he has a skiing jacket but actually that would be depressing given previous conversations about those with glam pregnancies so I reckon I might go down the tesco route or ebay as fairy said as well. Or check out TK Maxx for a cheap jacket. Mariana is right (again!) cost per wear would be worth it. If only to try to maintain some semblance to my dignity.

holy mother fucking hell shazza your fucked up insecure 'I have so many personal 'ishoos' even Freud couldn't sort me out' SIL said that !!! what a jumped up little bitch, I'd be inclined to say 'well I would ask you to be godmother to shazlett but since I've seen you do such a shit job with your kids I don't want you to screw mine up aswell'

niknoks I need to start looking up pillow porn as I don't have one , I don't think you can ask half of a couple to be godparent without a reasonable explanation otherwise it will cause problems, but I think you can ask single friends. I haven't thought that far ahead, I think you have a right to pissed off, as for going up to the badlands, you should go as/when you like its not for anyone to dictate to you, and they can visit you.

gin I was thinking of either ebay or maybe Primani, not sure if they would do my size though

fairy Big count down now, I still think its insensitive for him to go on about you learning to drive, if its not essential for the job then he shouldn't mention it. Glad DH has some work

mariana you cracked me up with your description of good ole london town [grin it is also becoming apparent that I have no idea what to with a baby all this swaddle talk

Well I have been very farty lately, guess that is what happens when you eat to many baked beans, I went to work today but didn't last the full day, did have a good chat with extremely annoying colleague about mat leave and pay.

I must be one scary mother trucker as no one has dared talk about the size of my arse or bump to my face just remember ladies it doesn't matter about the shape of the bump, its what you do with it when it arrives, perfect bumps don't make perfect mums :)

Hurrah for buzzy the voice of reason. I love your bump motto. Maybe those with their uptight bumps will be uptight mums! X

Noks I didn't reply re the pillow of pleasure. A link would be great thanks although I seem to have got more comfy since constructing myself a pillow 'nest' in bed. Not much room for DP though. X

Your TK Maxx correspondent is back (I go so you don't have to!) reporting that all their jackets are basically horrible. Ditto Tesco: if I'm buying a parka for £40 I don't want it to look like it cost £15, horrid shiny zips. I'm going back to wearing DHs hill walking jacket which is too big for me.

Confinement would be brilliant, it's all those weirdos who say pregnancy's not an illness that did away with that. It is an illness as far as I'm concerned. I think confinement lasted for months, probably longer than most modern maternity leaves.

Shazza I see you wearing a dirndl skirt, making soup from bones and shoe leather and having to take in laundry when he doesn't sell a painting. He sits and broods in his garret, drinking home-stilled liquor and cursing the world for not recognising his brilliance.

Trenchlet loved mashed pear, but pulled the best faces at first. I think she might even have swallowed some.

buzzy thinking of you today, hope your scan goes well

Good luck buzzy hope you have fun seeing buzzette

Good luck buzzy, update us later.

Hope all goes well today buzz! Enjoy seeing mini bee again.

Good luck buzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeee. I hope mini-bee is much better behaved than the Nipper and Shazlet at your scan !

Thanks for the replies re christening ladies. DP woke me up at 3.30am this morning as that was when he came to bed (he's off work at the moment and this is his 'new' bedtime - i am FAR from impressed) and I couldn't get back to sleep for a couple of hours for thinking about it. I think what upsets me is they obviously had a conversation about whether to ask me and came up with reasons why they wouldn't, which is pretty hurtful as I thought we always got on well. It's a fucking snub, whichever way you look at it. However, that's their choice and at least I know where I stand now. The christening is next month. I'm really looking forward to it . Things like this normally don't bother me but this really has for some reason. Maybe it's hormonal.

We have our couples Lazy Daisy class tomorrow morning. I have asked Ddarling my arseP to have a look at what they are all about so he knows what to expect. He has done nothing of the sort so far which has really fucked me right off. eBay and Facebook are, obviously, much more important. We will be having words tonight, if I can bloody well stay awake for long enough. At this rate, I feel like strangling him with my monster pillow. (shaz I will send you the link later tonight honey).

A very grumpy noks.

Oh, on a brighter note, I got my fat ole mama's ass down to Primani and got myself a three-quarter length hooded parka thing for twenty whole pounds. Got it a few sizes up to accommodate my expanding girth so I expect it to last me for the next few months at least. It also comes with a belt so once the nipper is here (and my figure pings back into shape, naturally ) it can be a bit more nipped in than when preggo. Check it out, pop pickers.

Nice one noks....DH bought me a maternity parka from h and m t'other week, love it. Seeing as I have a kind of waddle swagger going on when I walk anywhere, I look a bit like a preggo Liam Gallagher.

buzzy good luck today, hope mini bee behaves.

Right, off to carry on eating maize and watching Geordie Shore in my wotsit-stained maternity leggings. I don't even care any more!

Oh and noks rage away my dear. She sounds like a cowbag anyway though so don't take too much notice of her shitty judgment :-)