Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Hi ladies
Just got in from a hard days wafting. More tomorrow but just wanted to say an crying with laughter at mariana's purple bottom. Priceless

Hope it went well shazz.

dildals they had to be binned, otherwise I would have worn them for ever. I kept one black pair that I have hidden at the back of my knicker drawer for if I am in need of comfort (physical or emotional). It's 21 weeks since my section and I never even think about the scar anymore, it's completely painless now. How is yours these days?

Trenchlet is feeding hourly during the night and is currently asleep on my stomach. Weaning can't come quick enough, officially I've still another 5 weeks of EBF to go but I don't think she'll last that long. If I get to 24 weeks without succumbing to baby rice I'll be delighted and that will have to do.

Morning girlies

Hourly feeding? What would aunty Gina have to say about that?

Keep I watched that episode of downtown and remember getting cross.

Re asda knickers I think I got the wrong ones. They were £2.95 for 5 pairs I got a size up but they are too small . They aren't very stretchy so I reckon there must be another type that I didn't see.

We are also decorating white walls. At first i had grand ideas about a felt mural with detachable shapes but then realised that like buzzy we hope to sell and also Shazlett will be so small and sleeping with us so s/he won't care if there is a 6ft fuzzy felt tree that I've spent weeks creating. The baby room is basically going to be our guest room with a changing unit and shazlett's clothes in. And I'll have changing stuff in our room as well so I don't have to keep getting up.

Noks I also feel so grateful every day. It's like I wake up and remember and can't believe it and then smile and am grateful.

Mariana thanks for the names input. Now that you have confirmed my first girls choice that is all I can think about! DP still isn't convinced so I'm going to bide my time and hope that the plan that he will agree to anything on the day will work. Of course if its a boy we are still abit stuck but at least we have something up our sleeves.

Yesterday was lovely and I felt so proud. He really is very talented even if I say so myself. When he first told me he was an artist I thought please God make him good. It would be awful if I really liked him but had to pretend to like his work. Anyway he is great and the new show is so strong. Shame it's not in London. Hopefully it will transfer. He has another in dec in London anyway. And I'll be wafting avec sprog by then!

So I've got a 3d/4d scan today. I bought a groupon. MIL is coming with us which is sweet for DP. I'm so excited if nervous. It will be a 3d image of shazlett so I hope she is cooperative and we don't see anything wrong. It's not diagnostic so it's just for fun. We are not finding out gender.

Finally NCT was ok but I can't say I learnt anything new. I have read a lot though and also done the hypnobirthing so we have already looked into birth and pain relief options. However it was nice to meet people and I think that over the weeks we will all settle in. The first session is always trying to suss everyone out isn't it? The teacher was nice if a little nervy I thought. What did you think Gin? She has been teaching for 30 years but kept having to think about what came next.

Also she announced that she had bought tea and biscuits but if anyone didn't eat biscuits she would bring juice and fruit next week. When she took our drinks order I said no thank you that I don't drink tea or eat biscuits she said 'yes I thought you might not!'

Ceara glad we helped. Please don't worry. Focus on the beautiful life in your belly.

Have a good day all. Xx

shazz you sound as though you enjoyed the wafting and schmoozing, that's great. And as proud of DH and his work as you said he is of you and your pregnant glow.

Mariana OMG, every hour?!! I thought I should look at a baby book yesterday and start educating myself as perhaps this IS actually going to happen, the comforting advice indicated we get at least two hours between feeds in which to try to snatch an approximation of sleep, increasing as they grow. Hourly feeds at 21 weeks - aaaargh!! How are you still able to string sentences together, let alone share so much wise support, humour and advice? Hope week 2 of school goes well. I remember my neighbour's son last year settled in well for week 1, then on Monday of week 2 solemnly announced that like visiting grandma, school was nice in small doses but he didn't feel like it today :-)

buzz impressive painting and preparing. I am with you on pale creamy white walls and brightening up with what you put into the room, esp if planning to sell soonish. Though our predecessors here had done something similar but with a really depressing shade of pale mushroom and I did overreact a bit by going mad with the colour chart. We have got as far as working out where things are going, and that we need to switch (and repaint) the office and spare room, and get a sofa bed for guests. But we have got no more practical than measuring up. I am finding it difficult to do anything concrete yet, I think because the habit of protecting myself from getting hopes up is so ingrained that even with the evidence of 5 scans and the start of a bump it is hard to believe in this baby. Hopefully once the 20 week scan has been properly finished... But I did start a spreadsheet shopping and price comparison list at the weekend, so that is progress, right? I had thought about taking the plunge and visiting our local kiddicare to start window shopping but dildals has spread the IKEA fear (hate hate hate it!) so chickened out :-) We don't have a date yet for the rescan. When is your official scan - this week, isn't it?

So I had the inevitable teary sobfest down DH's shirt yesterday afternoon. A good cry is what I seem to need to do after pregnancy announcements - generally the tap turns on out of nowhere, a day or two after - and it seems to work well to vent it all off so I guess my body knows what it's doing. DH has apologised for not understanding on Saturday that becoming pregnant didn't immediately make those feelings go away for me. (He's usually very sensitive, but sibling loyalty is strong in his family!) Thank you again for the sanity check yesterday, ladies.

P.S. but you are an evil woman, noks, the images you have put in my head - SIL's saucepan set is cast iron :-)

Every single hour. I really heavily on cosmetics at the moment to give the illusion of life. It's a phase they often go through when they're heading towards weaning, it's partly as they're bigger and hungrier and need to up your supply. I suspect it's also as it's getting colder and she just prefers sleeping on me. I added an extra blanket over her sleeping bag but it didn't make much difference. I know it's not for ever though so shall grit my teeth but I think I will be weaning at 24 weeks.

Shazza glad it was a success. I bet it all looked wonderful properly displayed. God yes, wouldn't it have been awful if you'd had to humour him about his work! I think you'll get your way over the name. Tell him a complete stranger on the internet said so. That'll swing it...

Ceara a good cry is a very good thing. I think that no matter how sensitive our DPs are they just can't quite get the sheer quantity of emotion pregnancy causes in us. Also a lot of it is irrational and we know that but still get very affected by it. I used to have this thought that everytime I heard of a healthy baby being born it reduced the odds for me. Totally nuts.

Hope everyone has a good day. It's all autumnal here, we harvested billions of blackberries over the weekend. I feel a crumble coming on.

Morning ladies! I have train rage. They are totally fooked, meaning my c.1 hour commute will take at least 2, if I can even get on a bus. Would give up and work from home but have a new staff member starting today...There's a bloody woman screeching about god at the bus stop and I want to slap her!

Awww ceara, I agree that those preg announcement feelings never go away. fairy I too feel a bit happier if people have struggled a bit... I wouldn't wish long term ttc on anyone but do want people to have some empathy, which can only really come from them having struggled a bit themselves. Long term ttc and all the treatment will def always be with me particularly when I start mentalling about having another baby

Just relax particularly fucks me off, as does the stupid thing someone recently said to me about me being more likely to get preggers again cos my body now knows what to do. Yes, that's going to fix Mr G's broken balls!

mariana!! at the purple bottom. I thought you'd turned into a baboon! Bloody hell at hourly feeds. I would be a total wreck.

shazz was lovely to see you again on Sat and meet your DP! I too felt I didn't learn much at the NCT class probably cos I spend too long on MN, but it was so nice to meet some normal local parents to be, none of them seemingly from the Balham end of the hood! DH said he thought the teacher was weird, I thought she was harmless enough but seemed a bit disorganised and waffley, esp seeing she'd been doing classes for 30 years. I also felt like a lepper when she did that exercise, in which it was made clear we come from the cheaper end of the hood!

So pleased the launch all went ok. Lovely that shazzlet was there for daddy's proud moment. Do pm me your websites, would love to see your art.

noks loving the polo pillow 1950s noks towers updates! Almost Bond villain like - welcome to my polo pillow lair :) DH hates my pillow, but I have caught him snuggled up on it in the night! I'm pleased that the pains turned out to be nothing.

dildals the pictures of Bella on FB are just melting my heart! So cute. I've heard good things about nipple shields and as everyone had said, you have plenty of time to get on top of the feeding. I think it sounds like it's going pretty well! It's all so different to when I was a preemie and my mum had to bottle feed me. The post birth poo sounds terrifying... I had a hideous one after the first ivf, which involved me sobbing in the work toilets for half an hour!

keep I blame downtown for my pre eclampsia fear! Not sure how far you are through it, so shall say no more... DH has to keep reminding me medicine has advanced a lot since then.

fairy sounds like things are progressing along nicely! Are you feeling ok?

crisps hurrah for buying stuff and picking names! I'm trying to work out when to do the big expensive shop we need to do... We have a mothercare discount card and they only have a 28 day return period. As DH has pointed out though, if something has gone wrong the wasted ££s will be the last thing on our minds.

buzz am impressed at all your sorting. We need to get onto that, as there is currently no space for the ginster. We painted our spare room blue a couple of years ago and won't be redoing it, as we too plan to move next summer. My mum has made some lovely bunting to make it look a bit more baby like. Hope you are doing ok with the scan looming. Our growth scan is 2 weeks today and I've convinced myself she's not growing properly...

Meant to say ceara pleased all was well at the scan. And shazz enjoy seeing shazzlet in detail. I 'll need to see the pics next Sat!

Oh and I did see that inside the mind of a person born by ivf in the paper. Found it kinda depressing how he went on about needing therapy to get over being a cherished ivf child. Am hoping it says more about him than ivf parenting.

Right the fecking bus is almost at the station, so I'd better go. Hope everyone had good days and sorry for the boredom induced, sweary massive post!

Bella and I have been in a separate room in the hospital yesterday and today getting used to breastfeeding on demand. The tube might come out tonight!! Which means we really SHOULD have gone to Kiddicare on the weekend! Oops.
I did order a bednest (rental) which is being delivered tomorrow. We also did a bit of internet shopping and we bought matching curtains, lampshade and mini person bean bag chair. Completely unnecessary but v nice nonetheless! And we picked up the cot from sil.

AND I have just made A List with the help of Mariana's list! Oh someone's stirring!

dildals that's wonderful news! Congrats to you and Bella!

dildaks that's brilliant. How are your nipples? Have you got some Lansinoh?!

dildals great news, have they told you which day they will release you from your hospital cell :) I didn't know you could rent a bed nest, i am thinking of one of those

gin he needed therapy for being an ivf kid really maybe his parents went overboard with him, if he was there only child and it was a struggle to get him perhaps they smothered him, he sounds a bit precious to me though

shazza I'd love to see his art work and glad it went well :) I'm loving the idea of your big felt wall piece

mariana did at your purple baboon bottom

ceara its good to have a cry and let it all out, you are normal to us I'm not planning on buying any big baby stuff yet, just getting things prepared for if/when I need to

I don't like the colour of our walls but i'm not repainting the flat either, I think a few coloured bits and pieces will be nice, I saw some lovely bunting ideas on website, its stuffed felt hearts with buttons on the outside, my sampler has arrived :) and also the big box of baby clothes, very exciting, most is in good condition, not that it matters she's only going to poo and puke in them, some are the wrong season but thats ok.

I had a bit of a melt down, I felt 'too normal' last night and was convinced it had all gone wrong I almost called MAU this morning but have talked myself down off the ledge, I am having alot of sharp pains especially on the left, like i'm being stabbed this is normal right ???, I think I might and I say might have felt her move

Sharp pains were normal for me buzzy. Lying down on the opposite side to where they were usually helped. Hope the meltdown has passed, when do you next have an appointment of any sort?

I can understand the therapy for being conceived through IVF if the child was subsequently smothered a bit, as you say. Generally, though I think it's better to know how much your parents wanted you, than to know you were an 'accident'. I was born after several years of mc and infertility, DH was a teenage pregnancy who has never met his father. I know which ls better.

I am on two hourly feeds with Trenchlet tonight. It's still fairly exhausting though. I had a gp appointment today and I just couldn't say 'exclusively breast feeding', I couldn't get the words out as I was so tired. I'd genuinely forgotten about this stage, at least one tends to lose weight quicker, so I'll have less baboon arse to contend with!

She had her NG tube out yesterday ... She's got No More Wires!!!

Eek.

Tomorrow we are rooming in properly. Which means staying overnight in the hospital. So tomorrow night I will be spending the night with my baby for the first time ... weird eh. Even though the nurses will only be around the corner I still feel a bit scared.

I had to tell myself that if all else fails we will still be able to give her a bottle.

Also mildly freaking out whether we have everything we need. Mariana we haven't got cellular blankets yet, but we do have knitted blankets (which have the 'holes' in them). Will that do until we go to Kiddicare / Mothercare on Sunday? DH seems to think I am overreacting!

Oh, the rooming in bit is for 2 nights. Pff. Expect me to check in and do lots of mentalling. I can't go out of that room for fresh air or a coffee so am bound to go stir crazy!

Then on Thurs she could technically be discharged but she has an eye test on Friday so it's likely we'll stay in for that. Otherwise we'll get home on Thurs and then have to go back in on Friday. This suits DH also better with work (... I know ... don't get me started peeps! On the upside, he's looking after Bella on Sun morning).

So Friday afternoon we're likely to be Out of Here.

I was bouncing off the walls today. Felt a bit bad for the other parents.

dildals that's fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you and Mr dildals. Good luck with the rooming in and the first night just you and Bella together.

Brilliant stuff, I'm so pleased for all of you.

Knitted blankets will be fine. The only reason why cellular are good is that everyone uses them so if a guideline say 'two cellular blankets' you know exactly what it means rather than thinking is this one too thick or thin. They are cotton so don't aggravate the skin and they wash and dry very quickly. They are cheap too, you cant get them in Boots etc. Do you want me to post you a couple? I've got lots, pm me an address if you do and I can send you some this afternoon.

Oh wow dildals Friday? That is amazing news. My goodness. Enjoy tonight. It will be lovely to sleep with Bella and hear her snuffling and breathing during the night. How is DH coping being back at work? Is he looking after Bella on his own on Sunday? Can you let me know how you get on with the bed nest please? I'm looking at those co-sleeping cots at the mo. I have to measure our very small bedroom though to see which one fits. Have a good day today. Much love to you all.

Ceara I'm glad you confided in DH. It's important that he knows how you feel. He can protect you and be sensitive to that kind of news around you.

Mariana are you sleeping at all! How are you coping?

Gin I also had train trouble yesterday. On the way home trains were canceled and 100s of people tried to get on 1 train and a fat business man actually pushed me to get to a seat. Needless to say he won't push a pregnant woman again after he got the 'hormonal woman on a horrible commute' treatment! I also thought that the postcode exercise at NCT was abit much. Poor you. The bunting sounds lovely. I loves a bit of bunting. I have knitted bunting hanging on my desk at work made by my mum.

Buzzy if the pains are left side could they be digestion? I had terrible stabbing pains at one point and thought something awful was happening but it passed in the end. If you have any doubt though better to get it checked. You also have bunting. Hurrah! And great to feel the mini bee move. It's exciting isn't it?

Noks which pillow have you got? The dreamgenii one?

Sweetie I saw a slug this morning and it reminded me to ask you if that problem is sorted out?

I'll PM the art website addresses.

Well we had the 3d scan yesterday. At first shazlett was very uncooperative and I was so disappointed. She was lying traversely asleep with her hand in front of her face. After abit of jiggling and a biscuit she moved enough for us to see abit of face and get some pics. I can't believe she looks like a real baby! The 3d pics can look abit alien but it wasn't too bad. I feel excited now and am looking forward to meeting her properly. MIL came with us. She was sweet and kept saying it was a miracle to see an unborn child. She had never been to a scan before. I don't think I would have thought £250 good value but I'm glad we spent the £99

I think that might had had Braxton hicks last night. My belly tightened and got very hard. It kept happening. It didn't hurt though. Should they hurt?

Have a good day all. X

Hi all.

dildals that is absolutely fantastic news ! We will keep you company during your luxury break for three at the hospital. Just think, you could be home and settled this time next week. Amazing.

shazza I just got a big v shaped pillow from the interweb. I can have a look and send you the link later if you like ? The pictures of Shazlet's 3d scan are fab by the way !

Xx

buzz if you do feel anxious go and get checked out by the gp or midwife. Don't suffer in silence. Aches and pains are normal but if you are struggling get checked out like I did. It put my mind at rest massively. Xx

oh wow dildals that is such amazing news!! :) So is she keeping warm on her own now, and obviously breathing fine, so it's just the feeding that has to be sorted? What does she weigh now? How odd that you're not allowed out of the room, you will go mad, though actually maybe you'll be fine just cuddling her for three days... I'm so pleased for you.

shaz braxton hicks don't hurt. If they do hurt I think they are contractions. I've been having BH for weeks now, whenever I walk too fast, have sex, or do anything strenous. They go once I slow down. It just feels like your bump is tightening, and mine goes a funny shape. Nothing to worry about.

What is this NCT postcode game?! We had our second class last night - which was about the pushing bit oh my god Next week is life with baby, which should be fun. They are actually good but we didn't finish till 10pm so we were all knackered, well, the women were.

buzzy I'm sure all is fine. Isn't your scan very soon? It's so exciting to feel movement, I'm sure you'll feel more confident once it's a bit more regular, though having said that it does provide another avenue of crazy if you let it. I'm lucky mine is quite an active little thing. Although my book said 'around now the baby will be starting to develop it's sleep wake pattern for when it's born'. Mine is always, ALWAYS, awake just as I go to bed. Hmmm.

Mariana and fairy and co do you recommend the cellular blankets or the sleeping bags, or both. Do their arms get cold out of hte sleeping bags if it's winter?

dildals I've just had an email to say kiddicare have just extended their 15% off £100 sale, so I think you're right that it's always one.

Have a good day all

oh wow dildals that is such amazing news!! :) So is she keeping warm on her own now, and obviously breathing fine, so it's just the feeding that has to be sorted? What does she weigh now? How odd that you're not allowed out of the room, you will go mad, though actually maybe you'll be fine just cuddling her for three days... I'm so pleased for you.

shaz braxton hicks don't hurt. If they do hurt I think they are contractions. I've been having BH for weeks now, whenever I walk too fast, have sex, or do anything strenous. They go once I slow down. It just feels like your bump is tightening, and mine goes a funny shape. Nothing to worry about.

What is this NCT postcode game?! We had our second class last night - which was about the pushing bit oh my god Next week is life with baby, which should be fun. They are actually good but we didn't finish till 10pm so we were all knackered, well, the women were.

buzzy I'm sure all is fine. Isn't your scan very soon? It's so exciting to feel movement, I'm sure you'll feel more confident once it's a bit more regular, though having said that it does provide another avenue of crazy if you let it. I'm lucky mine is quite an active little thing. Although my book said 'around now the baby will be starting to develop it's sleep wake pattern for when it's born'. Mine is always, ALWAYS, awake just as I go to bed. Hmmm.

Mariana and fairy and co do you recommend the cellular blankets or the sleeping bags, or both. Do their arms get cold out of hte sleeping bags if it's winter?

dildals I've just had an email to say kiddicare have just extended their 15% off £100 sale, so I think you're right that it's always one.

Have a good day all

keep I have both, sleeping bags for at night (arms don't get cold as you put them in a longsleeved vest and then a long sleeved sleep suit over that. Some sleepsuits have integral mits but mine won't tolerate them.) Cellular blankets are good for when they're too little for sleeping bags, swaddling, extra layers over sleeping bags, on their own in hot weather or if the baby has a fever, casual use in car seats, bouncy chairs, while feeding, in the pram and so on. There's no reason why a beautiful hand knitted shawl wouldn't do but you'd baulk at chucking it in the wash every other day.

shaz Braxton hicks are as you describe and never hurts. If they hurt you're in labour!

Yes what's the postcode game? Sounds like an opportunity for stealth boasting!

I must sleep at some point as I have strange dreams but I'm not getting more than 2 hours at a time. I am wearing more slap with every passing day.

shazz that's so strange that you have seen your baby's face! It must seem like a bit of a miracle to our parents generation who had nothing but a tape measure to assess whether all was well! I wonder if he / she will look the same or totally different when she's actually out.

The postcode thing was that the teacher asked whoever lived in a particular postcode to stand on one side of the room. I'm guessing it was to demonstrate that we all live near eachother and can form a support community. Only it back fired when it turned out that our lovely Gin and her DH live in the next street but a different postcode so they ended up in their own. I thought that it was abit insensitive of the teacher.

I'm not sure about the Braxton hicks (or Higgs boson as DP calls them). My bump didn't really change shape as such. It just went hard and tight. Anyway didn't hurt so it wasn't labour...yet!

Labour should be called 'fun ' or 'play'. Calling it work gives it a negative connotation!

I keep looking at the scan pics but I can't say that shazlett looks like anyone. It is just a baby. I don't think it has given me a sense of what she looks like properly. I'm just pleased that I can see that she has eyes, nose, mouth, ears etc.

Of course today she is so active. Shame she didn't perform like this yesterday. I've clearly got a baby with ideas of its own and what it wants to do on the way! X