Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

I'm laughing out loud at all the windy dilemmas going on! I think I may be a bit hysterical as a response to the result for the combined test for Downs which put the baby at very low risk (1 in 1700). I hadn't realised I was worried about it, but my laughter suggests relief.

shazza I've never got yoga or Pilates myself, and don't intend to try in pregnancy. I know lots of people love it, and fair play but it's certainly not for me!

gin I love the pink champagne birth plan!

Love to all.

Mariana please come and live with me and teach me all you know!

I'm lying on the sofa in my pants with my feet up watching downtown abbey. And yes I have 'dropped' the odd one over the last hour. DP is still out!

I must get up now and make dinner.

Oh and motor hurrah for combined result. What a relief. You are...well motoring along now x

Hi all. I think I am living in the 1950s cost wise here oop narf...my lazy daisy classes are going to cost £36. In total. For six. I do love living in bumblefuck land sometimes!

mariana glad dd was ok at school. We had lots of nervous new starters this week, although we are secondary I can't believe how young they are. I spent most of lunchtime yesterday doing (teacher appropriate!) hugs and bag carrying for the nervous ones. They got very stressed about lunch!. Mind you, they'll be pissing me off in a few weeks and I'll resume normal grumpy service with them though.

Re:mattresses dildals...I always thought foam mattresses sounded 'cheap' compared to a sprung one, but we bought foam for dd1. It seemed more even and firm compared to the sprung ones. We got one that had a breathable but plastic cover on one side which was a godsend...they do get covered in all sorts over the short time they are used and I'd recommend. I think ours was from mothercare but that was before he age of kiddicare.

Talking of kiddicare...I got an email through today with a code for 15%off if you are spending over £100...only lasts until midnight next Monday but the code is SAVE15 if it's of any use to anyone. Really tempted to buy the pushchair now as that would buy it for under £400 but still feel 23 weeks is a bit early. Bought the first purchase today..ldd1 wanted to buy something for the babies so took her to tesco and let her choose a pack of babygros. Will probably be the only thing we buy but didn't want to curb her enthusiasm as it will be quite a big deal for her. Quite sweet considering she's been telling everyone shed have rather had a boy and a girl...

keep it is worth keeping an eye out but think it is fairly normal...I think if baby is low down then it's quite near your bowels so must have an effect. Iron tablets make me a bit ill sometimes.

Have been back to work since Tuesday. Feel as though I have been hit by a truck. Fine at work apart from being quite huge and immobile but as soon as it hits 4.30ish I am buggered. Straight to bed for me each night after grabbing some time with dd and eating something mainly cheese toasties to be fair. Really hoping for midwife to take one look at me in a couple of weeks and sign me off, which is odd because I really love my job, but it's so hectic that it just doesn't feel right at the moment. Can't afford to finish earlier though so think I will just have to troop on through.

dildalswoop woop for Bella coming home soon. Must be an amazing feeling. Hope DH is ok, I remember getting really down a few weeks after because that's when everyone kind of forgets and gets on with it, but it isn't that easy. There are counsellors and so on but it depends on how you feel about it. I'd say if things are getting easier-even slowly- then that's ok, if not then maybe look into seeing someone. Really hope Bella the super trooper is back at home with you soon, it must be very surreal.

buzzy my sickness went at 16 weeks and returned at 29, the bastard. Four times at work today, it's not even reassuring any more now I can feel them booting me in the foof , it's just horrible. You have my sympathy and empathy!

noks, give us a wave....

shazza I hope you feel better after your farting marathon on the sofa :) my 20 week scan is on Friday 13th, I feel I will need the reassurance by then again

crisp i'm resigned to the fact that I will feel crap for the next 20 weeks, are you able to cut down your days?? I have thought about asking my place, although I do leave early some days

Shazza it's all just stuff you pick up as you go along, it's only because I've done it before! Don't ask me about three year olds and their tantrums... Oh actually she's four now. That makes biting me as I wrestle her into the shower seem slightly worse.

Crisps thank you on behalf of those nervous kiddies parents for being a lovely kind teacher. it must be a real drag for you by now. It will be a big deal for DD1, mine has been much better than I thought but I think that's luck. i try to involve her by getting her to help and that seems to keep her happy. Yes, we really win the cost of living competition up here. But then as penance we have to live up here... (I joke. I absolutely love where I live, although my mum says shopping in my local town is like traveling back to the 1950s.)

Good evening Campers. I bring you this broadcast from the middle of my nine foot sausage pillow, live and direct from the Master Bedroom at Noks Towers. Or should I say...Trumpy Towers, because I too have been hit firmly on the botty with the good old farty stick. I nearly propelled myself off the loo with one I prepared earlier - why have we all got the gasses then ? Change in air pressure ? It seems strange

Anyway.....all was fine with the midwifey on Monday. Blood pressure was normal (on the low side of normal but normal, nonetheless) and the nipper's heartbeat was absolutely fine. I felt a bit miffed though because she asked me if I was feeling the baby yet, I pointed to an area just below my rib cage as there has been definite movement there, and she looked at me like I was a simpleton and said that my baby was nowhere near there. So I felt like a proper dick and concluded that I must have been stroking my small intestine, thinking it was the nipper's head or tiny feet or something. Anyway, since then, my body has undergone the most amazing change. It's so weird. I have got much bigger and the baby is definitely moving about EXACTLY WHERE I FECKING WELL SAID S/HE WAS MIDWIFEY MATRON PERSON and using my tummy as a trampoline at 4am in the morning. So, ceara don't fear.....a change is right around the corner so just bide your time and enjoy the peace !

motor congrats on the scan. I am really pleased everything is ok.

crisps I got my six Lazy Daisy classes and the birthing class (or 'fuck about with a plastic baby class' as DP calls it) for a hundred of our great British pounds, which isn't bad at all. Not quite as good as bumblefuck nowhere but better than NCT prices near me. I hope I can meet some local normal people.....

dildals it's fantastic news about Bella. I am thrilled that she will be going home soon. I was sad to read of DH's struggles though and your meltdown. You two have been through so much so give yourself a bit of time to process it all and take all the help you think you need. We are all,routing for you on here and love tales from Bella's World.

mariana can you give classes on babies and stuff please ? I think we would all be a bit lost on here without you wipes tear from eye Trenchlet is SUPER cute by the way.

keep I had the squits and was worried about exactly the same thing as you. Try not to worry as it's probably nothing.

shazza sounds like maternity yoga is a bit of a fecking con ! See what the next class brings thoug as it may get a bit better.

Waves to everyone else preoccupied with birthing plans (erm, get it out in one piece please) prams, baby sleeping bags and all things newborn.

I am off to snuggle down to try and get some zzz's tonight before the nipper has a rave in my stomach and jumps up and down on my small intestine.

Nite y'all.

Noks xx who is still thrilled and feels incredibly lucky to be pregnant, despite looking like a Terry's Chocolate Orange on legs. Xx

Now then, has anyone seen my ankles ? They are currently lost in a sea of fatty tissue.....

Oh and thanks for all the thoughts on routines. I was initially attracted to GF but, for me, the routines gave you no real chance to get to know your baby so I think I'll have a look at the baby whisperer. I don't want to over analyse it all as I think in all the research, you may lose your instinct which is really important to develop for both you and your bubba.

Happy Friday everyone. X

Noks if you find your ankles can you see if mine are there too?? I am reluctant to go with books too as you need to see what works for you and the baby. I know friends who have got stressed as the books says do X, Y & Z and they haven't been able to follow it. I can not be doing with that sort of pressure in the early days. Like you say trust your instincts.

Mariana my SIL is a new teacher of year 1 kids, yesterday was her second day and 2 of the little ones fell asleep. She says she had been told not to wake them for 45 minutes and even then one was very difficult to wake. It is such a big step for them no wonder they are tired out. Hope DD has had a great week but I bet she is exhausted by home time today.

Crisps we were brave and got our buggy, car seats etc on the Bank Hols weekend but only with 10% discount. They are all still in the boxes in the garage as I haven't been brave enough to unpack them yet. I would say do it as 15% is a massive saving on the big stuff. I hope the tiredness is just a stage as some days I feel very tired and others not so bad. I do tire more easily and when I go into the office am much more tired in the evenings than if I have worked from home slobbed around all day in my pjs

Motor great scan and results news, it is nerve wracking I think so glad you are through that bit. Onto the 20 weeks scan is it?

Gin your birth plan or lack of sounds just like mine. We have got as far as champers waiting for us when we get home. I am thinking of any and all drugs they want to give me and just get them out any way you can and as quickly as possible. Do you think I can actually write that on my plan? I have my first growth scan on Monday so hope to see the consultant then and want to discuss birth options as I haven't discussed it with anyone yet and feel I should be having these discussions really.

Dildals any update on Bella and the expected homecoming?

Oh, girls, you have not experienced farting yet ... wait till AFTER birth and you have been put on a steady diet of lactulose ... Can I just add to the shit stories ... the first poo after birth ... Oh. My. God. Met by a mix of trepidation and excitement at the potential relief! Schedule in a fair few false alarms and a 25 min slot for the first one.

I slept thru my 6 am feeding session this morning. Oops.

Bella is still not really getting the hang of feeding. She doesn't seem able to get milk out. The lactation consultant tried to test her suck, by attaching a little tube to my nip, with the other end in a milk bottle, but by that time Madam was tired and asleep using my boob as a pillow. (We tried to wake her up, there are all sorts of 'annoy the baby' technique, but she just opens one eye at a crack and goes 'not happening mate') She suggested to express a little to get the let down going and then latch her on. I don't think it made a difference, I can't see any milk in her mouth or (double) chin. My boobs don't leak either, maybe my nipples are faulty? Of course I am starting to get upset about this, because nothing like SCBU to lose all fucking sense of perspective. So currently the mantra is going 'I can't get pregnant' 'I can't carry babies full term' and 'I can't feed my baby'. Don't worry about me having a good cry mariana, I get one of those in on a daily basis, pretty much every time the King's sign comes in sight, and when I wake up and realise it is still real what happened.

On the upside. Bella had her first bath yesterday! I thought I deserved a pick me up :-). It was hilarious. At first I washed her head, swaddled in a towel, she was trying to look behind her to see where this water came from, so funny. Then we got her naked and in the water, and with Smella Bella I was a bit worried she would immediately christen the water with her mustard sauce, but she didn't thank fuck (I am sure it will happen at one point - preferably when she's in the bath with DH). At first she cried a little, more because of the 'newness' of it, you could see her being a bit confused, what is this stuff, I have no hard surface! Then you could see the look on her face change to 'oh, I might actually like this', stretching out those long legs, then the third phase, 'oh yes, I DO like this!'. Then a bit of crying when I got her out, but it was just the transition. I should have kept her in a bit longer, that's the curse with SCBU, you just do what nurse tells you, rather than following your own instinct. Anyway. I am sure there's lots of baths to come. I washed her hair too. She's now fluffball. And she smells nice.

Can I just say ... I slept on my front the other day! :-)

Dildals so jealous of tummy sleeping. I sometime still try but the babies go mad and proper kick so I worry I must be hurting them with my enormous bulk

That must be a funny sight sweetie, you on your tummy! Mountain shaped?

I'll be back more later, but just giggling at the image.

Keep it is like sleeping on a beach ball but I still stupidly give it a go in desperation that it might be comfy

Sleeping on your front. Mmmmm. That's like sleep porn at the moment.

Hello Girls

I'm working from home googling and writing my birth plan today.

The farting has slowed down today thankfully.

Buzzy and Crisps I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish again. It seems so unfair that some people unfortunately experience such extreme sickness during pregnancy. I can't imagine what it is like to be sick numerous times a day, every day. It must be awful.

Mariana i'm envious of you loving where you live. I swing from desperately wanting to leave London to worrying that I'm just being fickle and the reality is that I will take myself wherever I go and moving isn't going to solve the issues that I have sometimes.

Noks glad you are ok and me and Keep are not the only ones visiting Trumpton. Hurrah for feeling the Nipper. I love it. Even the digs in the foof. Ok, maybe those not so much but I'm enjoying feeling Shazlett. This is a special time because it is so intimate to have her inside my body. Once she is out, I will have to share her with everyone. I also feel so lucky and blessed to be pregnant. I'm lucky that I'm not suffering like Buzzy and Crisps and that I'm actually enjoying this time now. I fear that my ankles have gone on holiday with yours and Sweetie's. I hope that they are sunning themselves on a beach somewhere. totally agree re not losing instinct of looking after baby. I don't want to be looking at the clock thinking what should I do next and worrying why the baby is not doing what she 'should' be doing. Gina even tells the mother when to eat. I drew the line there.

Sweetie so cute about the children going to sleep at school. Do you think that we could apply the same rules to work? I also feel good that we have got the pushchair. Go for it Crisps. I've kept ours at my parents for the time being as we are still decorating and don't have room for the enormous box. I did get it out at their house though and played with it on a sheet outside so that I didn't get the wheels dirty!

Dildals The first poo after birth sounds like it could be even more painful than the birth. Do I need to write a plan for it?! DP was in the bathroom for a long time yesterday and I when I shouted through the door if he was still alive, he replied 'yes, I'm down breathing'! Down breathing is a hypno breathing technique for the 2nd stage of labour and they suggest that you practice on the loo as it is the nearest thing to expelling something large through a small hole .

Sorry Bella is struggling with feeding. Isn't it amazing how she is able to learn this though like any other life skill? I know that it is upsetting for you but is it also fascinating to observe her learning, practising and improving day by day? The bath sounds wonderful. What a lovely experience for you to have together. and that special baby smell is just too yummy isn't it? Hurrah for tummy sleeping. I'm getting to the stage where I simply can't get comfy. I can't stay on my left side all night. I just get too stiff. So I swap for an hour or 2 to my right side and then feel massively guilty that I'm hurting Shazlett because, like Sweetie's twins, she immediately starts kicking when I'm on that side. Something is obviously uncomfortable for her on that side.

I meant to say that in the Guardian magazine last Saturday there was an article about kiddy proofing your relationship. Somethings were worth thinking about I thought. he suggested always greeting your partner before the children. I can see how easy it would be to run home and hug and kiss the baby first even if your partner is holding the baby and how subtly that would send signals that your partner comes second. He makes the point that it is worth taking the time to invest in your relationship because ultimately that will make the children happier. I wouldn't buy the book but I thought that there were ideas about communication that I'm going to try to keep in mind.

Well, I'd better get back to my birth plan do some actual work.

xx

noks You made me laugh at loud, I got a few funny looks from colleagues but didn't feel it was something I should share with them, glad all was ok with your appointment, i'm sure your intestine doesn't mind the attention, you also used the word normal, not a word I would use to describe you let me know what you think of the baby whisperer, I just want a book with a general guide on what to expect

shazza the sickness is mainly manageable but there are days when I cannot function, starting to feel more desperate for my next scan

dildals at the first after birth poo, glad Bella has had her first bath and didn't poo in it, I'm sure she is saving that for her dad :) oh and your mantra sucks, you did get pregnant with some intervention, you do have the most beautiful baby, she was just super keen to meet you and she will learn to suck the life out of your boobs

my ankles look like puffa fish, some days I struggle to get my fat sausage feet into my lace up shoes for work. I don't really sleep on my front much, as long as I get to sleep :)

God yes, puffa feet canckles here too and also farting like a trooper. Attractive eh?

Will catch up properly later, but when looking for the article recommended by Shazz, came across this lovely one, which has just made me cry on the train! www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/31/four-years-trying-for-baby-ivf

Happy Friday ladies! May your canckles have a good rest over the weekend!

Aw lovely story. But it doesn't convey the next months full of anxiety...

Dildals what you said about waking up and remembering everything that has happened really struck a chord with me. It's a fucking horrible realization every morning. Lots of love to you. What Buzzy said, but also if breast feeding doesn't work out then don't beat yourself up. What matters is feeding your baby. I think you'll be ok with bf though, you've already demonstrated perseverance in spades. I love your description of her first bath. Trenchlet loves her bath and she's so fluffy and utterly gorgeous afterwards. Look forward to the day you can bath her at home then snuggle up with her to feed her. It's very relaxing (I'm doing that right now.)

Ha at sleep porn. I sleep on my flabby old stomach EVERY night. It's my main pleasure in life.

Aw at letting little ones sleep in school. I've seen quite a few crying or stropping this week and I've been very proud of mine.

Shazza haha at DP and his down breathing. I'll do your name consultation tonight. I'm starting to worry I just recommend the same names to you all. Don't compare notes! I'll look at that article later, I bet we do everything wrong.

The first poo is utterly appalling. Definitely clear half an hour and stock up on lactulose.

Sympathies on all the swollen ankles. They do come back!

We have done it...have reserved the buggy and are going to pick it p tomorrow morning...we are saving about £280 off the 'normal' price and just can't afford not to. Fuck it and do it is (ish) the new crisps household motto...

Re:birth plans....hmm. I think pain relief is more to do with the speed of birth than the pain..lit is a hugely strong sensation but not like a normal kind of pain. If I'd had a quick labour, I probably could have done without the epidural but I found it exhausting after a few hours. Having said that, it was only nine hours from going in to hosp which is relatively quick! The only thing on mine is nothing which could harm the bambinos...I.e. pethidine. I'll have to ave an epidural this time because of the twin age but I probably would have chosen one anyway if needed as having one last time gave me the strength and stamina to relax, push and really enjoy the experience. Am completely down with each to their own but having done it once means I do think everyone should keep an open mind...

Birth plans for post-birth poos though are a different matter. I would recommend a wet flannel (any scratches or little nicks and cuts are more painful than labour if they are in your downstairs region and get any wee on them) and a good half an hour...you do feel as though the world is going to fall out of your arse if you have a poo and it takes a while to build up the confidence!

As its Friday I'll share my disgusting poo in the bath story. Dd did the standard poo while in bath with daddy, which DH quickly fished out, but at a much later date she had a lovely bath on her own with tons of bubbles. We got her out, dried her and pulled the plug. I then screamed the next morning when I went into the bathroom...we'd actually missed a massive poo in the bath which had disintegrated and soread itself all over the bottom of the bath and must have been disguised by all the bubbles. Yuck. Cue lots of scrubbing and bleach. Definitely less bubbles are used since then!

Glad it's the end of the week, school has been manic and I am shattered. Off for a kiddicare experience tomorrow morning and some catching up with friends. Will do personals tomorrow...x

Had to go to Birmingham and back today on the train for work - 5.5 hrs on the train. Christ am I hurting. Only a few more weeks now though!

motor great news about the low risk result! So happy that you are laughing these days!

crisps you are vomiting 4 x per day at 29 weeks? My god that is so terrible. My heart goes out to you! But that was quite the poo in the bath story! Must have been extremely cohesive bubbles!

mariana glad the first days at school have gone well. DS keeps exclaiming how fun school is which I think is genuine and not an attempt to win parental approval. Last year he fell asleep in class once and his teacher said it happens all the time with the little kids.

noks laughed at your midwife story. The baby moves around all the time and where you feel him or her depends on your position too, so I'm sure you're right.

dildals Bella is doing so well, I'm sure it will work or if not bottle feeding is just fine! Don't beat yourself up, you've just had bad luck in the baby front. It's understandable that DH would be "self-medicating" given what you've gone through. I'd be brooding over the hospital's role as well. I guess if he's back at work he's not so busy with Bella, a d having a bit of distance makes him more likely to ruminate on everything?

On a much more superficial note, I got a jogging stroller with DS, the out and about nipper and it was great. V smooth when I ran, light (7kgs) and manoeuvreable. DS used it until he was 4 comfortably and it is good to go for no 2. I started running w DS when he was about 6 wks not 6 months- he could lie virtually flat in it and his neck was pretty strong by then so I didn't worry. Also I wasn't breaking any land speed records at that stage (or since!) so I would recommend that one if you want something good all round but also can run or go hiking with. The only thing is a v long wheelbase so narrow aisle in shops are a pain but that's common to all jogging strollers.

I had my 34 wk appointment with the midwife this week. She said baby is in a good position, moving lower and the head is 3/5 engaged ( which I think means 2/5 is in my pelvis). I certainly have started feeling a lot of twinges and tightening a very low down and around the tops of my legs. By the late afternoon I feel as though I can barely walk with the pressure. I guess it's all good signs but it also reminds me how much I have to do before she arrives.

Hello to everyone else I've missed, I'm waving a cankle at you!

Hi fairy...you sound like you are getting ready! Do you have a birthing ball? I fund it really comfy in the last stages. Not sick four times every day, a, only sick about three or four days a week, and not always four times. Still sucks though!!

Oh yes Gin I'd forgotten about that article. That made me cry too. I even cried when I summarised it for DP later. See you tomorrow!

Mariana thanks for the names in advance. It will be so funny if we all meet up one day and we've all called our babies the same name. Especially if sweetie has the only boy and even he has the same name . I've already got my bumper bottle of lactulose crossed off my list. We got it for DN on holiday the pharmacist said it would be ok but in the end we put prune juice disguised in her porridge and kept giving her fruit pouches til nature took its course. So I'm keeping the enormous bottle all for myself. I will look forward to cracking it open. Nevermind the champers. That will be my celebratory bottle!

Crisps. Hurrah for fuck it and do it. And yippee for the pushchair. £280 is a massive saving. What did you plump for in the end? Hilarious poo in the bath story and not so hilarious account of post birth poo. Eek! I so feel for you when 4 days a week of bring sick is not too bad. Poor you.

Fairy. Head down! Yay you are on track. When is the pool being delivered? A day trip to Brum sounds pretty tiring. I hope you can rest up this weekend and DS is still encouraging DP to be your man servant.

NCT tomorrow morning then going to West Country to my parents and on to Oxford for the champagne opening of DPs show on Sunday. He was so sweet yesterday. He said he can't wait to introduce me to everyone on Sunday cause I look so lovely being pregnant and he is so proud

X

crisps glad it's not 4 times every day but 4 days a week still sounds pretty appalling to me! I was chatting with the wife if a friend of DH who is pg for the first time and she has had no sickness or fatigue at all (now 13 wks). I can't get over how pregnancy affects each woman so differently when the basic underlying process and result are all the same.

I do need to get a birthing ball, the midwife recommended it too.

On preg yoga classes, I found a good one that left me feeling I had at least stretched something but we had a guest instructor once who spent about 20 min getting us stretch our wrists and hands! I know I do get a bit stiff when at the keyboard all day but it didn't seem really the right physical focus.

That is a strange focus fairy. What could loose and limber wrists be useful for...?