Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Morning!

I hope the first day of school goes well for all those in their new uniform.

Dildals amazing news about Bella. How exciting. It will be so brilliant to take her home. It is so sweet how you are looking forward to all those things. Throughout pregnancy and now in motherhood you have remained calm, positive and an inspiration. My heart goes out to DH. I hope that you both get some support to help come to terms with the overwhelming grief of your terrible loss.

Re pushchairs I'll send you the ones I looked at. I didn't want to run though so all mine are 4 wheels. I plumped for the mountain buggy cosmopolitan which is mountain buggys 'urban' 4 wheeler. You could check out all the others in the range which are 3 wheelers and all terrain. It is so easy to fold. It's got memory buttons so once they are depressed I can fold it with one hand. I couldn't find one that met ALL my criteria, I had a long list so there are compromises but on the whole I like it.

Thanks for reminding me re cord clamping that's definitely something to include.

Thanks for checking out the links Mariana. I hope it wasn't overload. . I think that many people feel the way you did about birth. That was the option open for you and you coped in the best way you could. Being open minded sounds like its the best way forward. I may be full of naive aspirations now but on the day it could all change.

Motor I haven't read the sears book although I've heard of it. Instinctively I think I lean more towards attachment parenting than gina although as discussed on here I think that I probably will take abit from everywhere and find my own way. My cousin was/is an attachment parent and has stayed with her daughter pretty much constantly for 8 years. She is even home schooled. I can't do that for practical reasons but that is quite extreme.

I keep meaning to tell you that there was a tuppence and crumble promotion code in the NCT mag. NCTCOSI will get you 10% off those super cute star fleeces. It all helps! Xx

Hi all, we had our first nct class the other night. It was actually really good, and the lady didn't push home births or breastfeeding, and did talk about pain relief in a non biased way, I felt. Some of the nct literature was a bit more dubious, so I think it depends on your practitioner. She did some reenactments of contractions, which was.... Odd. But there were some nice couples there so hopefully we can make some friends

shaz I'm gonna keep my birth plan simple, so I'll be more likely to stick to it. I will have the injection as I don't see what's wrong with it, and it's the most effective way. Surely birth is more painful for babies than a short needle prick. I want skin to skin asap. I want delayed cord clamping, I want dh to cut the cord. I want a managed third stage. I don't want pethadin. I would like a water birth if possible. Other than that I think I'll play it by ear.

Started my new job, so knackered, but enjoying it.

Hi keep

Glad you are enjoying work. That's half the battle.

Thanks for sharing birth plan. Sounds good. When you say managed 3rd stage do you mean having the placenta actively delivered like fairy said? Sorry to ask but I hadn't really thought that bit through. I'm going to ask the midwife when I see her next week.
Good news that NCT was helpful. We start on Saturday.

I'm going to preg yoga tonight. Although I've been exercising alone this is my first class.

dildals that's AMAZInG news that Bella will likely be home in a couple of weeks. Just brilliant. She's a tough little cookie :) I'm so sorry your dh is still so angry, though I'm sure I would be too, and you're doing brilliantly. You have so much going on right now I don't know how you could even begin to process it all.. Oh, and you're planning to run with a buggy?! Won't that be a bit jolty for Bella, or is it some super duper hover-buggy. I'm still clueless, see. We're getting the bugaboo bee from my sister - apparently the ultimate urban one - small, light, easy to turn and take on buses.

gin I'm not sure I'll read any baby books before the birth either, and then will panic and read manically. It still seems unreal, like reading a guidebook to a country before you get there - I can never focus or imagine it. Maybe that's something to do once I stop work, and am too huge to move.

noks what did the doc say?

buzzy we were away for a year. I was so sad to leave her, but she couldn't have come. She's a right little madam too. As we are sleeping on an airbed at the moment don't ask she's obviously not allowed in our room, so stands outside and cries. Grr. Not sure how she'll take to Kip, since she gets jealous if you read a book, use iPad, stop stroking her...

Yes shaz, I think they give you some drugs to move it on its way. The nct lady said most people are so involved with the baby they barely notice what's going on by then

Oh I did read something that I thought I'd add, about DP telling me the sex rather than the midwife shouting it out. I also am going to put all the other things you mention. Along with I don't want an evc or whatever it is called if the baby is breech but that would be before birth anyway. I also hope to avoid sweeps, induction and unnecessary monitoring and internal examinations. But hopefully if we are at home anyway then our midwife is lovely and I'm sure wont push me into anything.

Oh yes, good one! I want that too! I would be induced at 41+11, or for medical reasons, I wouldn't mind. It's dangerous to go too far over.

dildals great news about little Bella, I am sorry your husband feels that way but is understandable,

shazza they said my iron levels were fine but reserves were low but they give you the tablets, usually they cause me to get bunged up but so far I've been ok in that department :)

keep reenactments of contractions my friend has just had her little boy so I plan to ask her for all the gory details, thanks for sharing your birthing plan, something I need to add to my list of things to do, glad you enjoyed your first day at work

mariana I hope DD1 was ok today and you as well

another lady recommended the Baby Whisperer to me so might look into that one

Dildals fantastic news on Bella, not long now until she is home with you and DH. As the others say just keep an eye on DH and once Bella is home I am sure things will improve.

Shazza I was advised to drink orange juice with each meal to increase iron absorption from the food I eat. So far I haven't had any issue so it must be working.

We have a very giddy 1 year old cocker spaniel/poodle cross. I am planning to use baby gates to prevent too much interaction in the early days and when I am on my own with the babies. My DM already has it in her head that we won't be able to cope with twins and dog so the dog will be going. We will have to wait and see as poor dog has done nothing wrong to warrant being written off.

I promise you'll not care one jot about a managed third stage. I don't even remember it with DD1 I was so enchanted by her. I had loads of internal exams, including scalp monitor on her head (she still has tiny scars), heartbeat monitoring etc but I didn't mind as I thought that was best for the baby. She had an irregular heartbeat and the cord wrapped twice around her neck - with hindsight I was glad of all that monitoring!

Anyway, that baby started school today. I started crying before I was even out of the classroom. She seemed to have a good time, made two friends and they had to say prayers at the end of the day. Of course, good old atheist me had completely forgotten to explain about god and praying and it's a C of E school. She seemed to have taken it in her stride.

Hope everyone had a good day. I'm so tired I could die and really hoping for a good night tonight.

dildals such good news that Bella may be able to go home sooner than you'd thought. I'm sorry things are so tough though, with remembering Georgia and having to grieve your loss at the same time.

motor belated congratulations on good scan news and on reaching the second trimester, it must be momentous to pass this milestone after what happened last time. I'm glad you and Mr Motor were able to celebrate in good style.

fairy lucky you having a chilled out cat. Ours is chilled only when life is going his way. The dinosaur egg is one vivid and mildly alarming image! I still have no real bump at half way and it is hard to believe how much growing will get done in the second half.

noks hope all is well?

sweetie that's interesting about orange juice and iron absorption. My iron levels are good, I wonder if the orange juice has helped?

shazz stuffy nose here too, for weeks. Sounds like it's universal.

The book recommendations sound really interesting. As others have said, it's difficult sometimes to remember that pregnancy is (all being well) just the start, and to look beyond.

Mariana the new picture of trenchlet is lovely, she has grown and changed so much but still looking so interested to be meeting the world. Yaay to surviving the first day of school as a parent.

Hi to everyone else too.

keep the recommendation is to only start running with the baby after they're 6 months old, but after that it is not an issue.

Morning all

Mariana I'll be exactly the same if I have a baby in distress or with cord around neck etc. all of the wish list is assuming that it all goes swimmingly but all of my points have the caveat that they must speak to DP in the first instance if they truly believe medical intervention necessary and me if a decision has to be made in an emergency.

Thanks for the kind words re our work. And the excellent idea for a project for me I can't reply to pm's on the phone but I'll be on a computer tonight so i can catch up. I also owe PMs to dildals r epushchairs and expat re Facebook.

Talking of whom (is that right I get who and whom mixed up!) how are you getting on expat with mini al? Is she settling in?

I'm glad first day of school went well Mariana. It must be such a huge step more for the mums it seems than the kids.

Hello to everyone else. How are you all getting on this week?

I went to preg yoga last night. Hmmm not sure to be honest. I find it strange and intense to be in a room full of pregnant strangers. I couldn't help comparing myself to them. I thought my bump was pretty neat but I was huge compared to them! One girl was tiny and I thought she was going to be 16 weeks or something but she was29 weeks! That's one less than me. Crikey am i going to give birth to an elephant? I also suspect I was the oldest there. It was quite yummy mummy definitely no weapon dogs there despite being in the hood. This was confirmed when one mentioned that she had bought a bugaboo chameleon which sparked a conversation re the merits of the chameleon vs the bee.

The class was ok I suppose, a bit of stretching and breathing but just when we had finished what I thought was the warm up the teacher told us to settle for relaxation! After what seemed like hours (must have been about15 mins) I woke up in a darkened room. For a moment I thought everyone had gone home and left me so I opened my eyes and checked that they were all still there. We laid there for another 5 mins or so. By this time I was starting to feel that it had gone on way too long. The teacher finally brought us round and she was sitting there with tea and biscuits!! All very nice I suppose but this meant that a third of the class(£5.33 worth) was sleeping and refreshments! To top it all off we had a brief chat about when we were starting or had done NCT. The assumption being that of course we were all doing it despite it costing hundreds of pounds. So all in all I'm not sure it was worth it. It was a stand in teacher so I think ill go back next week, 1. To pay as I didn't realise it was cash only so I didn't pay and 2. To check out the proper teacher who my MW raves about. Gin was the class like this when you did it?

I'm gutted that the lazy daisy woman in Brixton isn't doing classes at the mo. she said there is one in Herne hill but that is too much of a faff for me to get to.

It's a lovely morning in London. It had the promise of a hot day. My feet are still balloons though with the heat.

Love xx

shaz that's a bit of a disappointing yoga class. I went to one in Thailand which was similiar, but I was much earlier on and felt a bit out of place. TBH it sounds like I'd rather do my own thing at home, for free, and much quicker! But I suppose if you meet some nice people then it'd be worth it. Also, that's mega expensive - £16!!

ceara I think the bump starts to grow quite fast after about 22 weeks. At least mine has. Every morning dh does a double take at me, i think he forgets.... Having said that I agree with shaz i was obsessed with bump watch at hte nct class - who is how many weeks, etc. It's amazing how much things differ. I don't think it means anything in terms of baby size (excluding sweetie's jumbo twins ).

OK i have a bit of a question . I've had mild diarrhoea (just loose really) the last couple of days. Haven't eaten anything dodgy. I am now freaking out because at NCT they said diarhoea often heralded labour. So, has anyone else had this. Is it just because the baby's growing and all? DH says I'm being silly, and I do so hope he's right.

Lovely day up here too. Shame I'm in the office.

Ha Shazza, I always used to feel like the largest, oldest and poorest at things like that! It sounds a bit mild though. I knew two girls when I was pregnant with DD1 and they both must have been size 6/8 at most. I was a 12 and felt like some sort of minor planet. They never seemed to eat anything and their bumps at full term were like me at 8 weeks. Our babies were all around the same weight though which just shows.

In my experience they do always ask before initiating anything, even with the complications with DD1 I still fully consented to everything and although I felt pretty battered afterwards, I didn't feel anything unnecessary had been done, or anything against my wishes. I had also briefed DH so that he could advocate for me, I think that's a good thing to put in your plan shazza. (Although, seeing as you're going to sneeze this baby out in your living room, it'll all hopefully be merely a technicality!)

Noks how are you? Let us know.

Day two of school drop off was fine, no tears from either of us. Today I'll take my mum out for lunch and then we'll go and browse some sewing shops. This is the upside of maternity leave!

I never got the hang of preggo pilates or yoga. A lot of it is pretending to actually do something. ( I am sure Expat will have my ass for this comment, but she's prob too busy with other stuff! :-) )

keep diarrhoea (which could mean an infection) can be a sign of preterm labour, but I wouldn't worry about it, because v likely it is 'just one of those things'. The chances of going in to preterm labour because of an infection are really tiny. More likely that you will be cursing this child to come out in wk 41. Like the first trimester spotting which worries us all greatly but in most cases turns out to be absolutely nothing.

First things first. mariana fairy any advice on mattresses for cots? We're going to Kiddicare on Sat to buy all the odds n ends we need (which is not that much really, buggy is the main item). Any advice on bedding? I will also buy a cot bumper. She won't be in her cot for the next 12 yrs anyway. (SHE WILL BE ON MY CHEST!!!) Also. You mentioned those grow bags, aka baby sleeping bags. You suggested certain togs? These sleeping bags are only from a certain age upwards right? (I do like them so I though I might as well purchase them) I feel v disorganised. I need to pull up your old list Mariana! Other random things I worry about. Will DH's snoring wake Bella up? Also, on this thread the Crumble & Tuppence star blankets were mentioned? was that just because they're cute? I guess they're good for in the buggy when it gets cold? I am a bit hesitant with fleece n babies, because of the risk of overheating. Thoughts?

Another thing she might need is actual clothes! I have been dressing her in hospital garb because prem sleepsuits are quite hard to come by! (There's lots of vests and body suits around, but hardly any longsleeved items. I may have to nab some frm the hospital!) Minor point.

God. I had a total melt down yesterday. So embarrassing. I hate crying in front of the nurses but I think I may have repeated about ten thousand times 'I just want to go home'. Now that the D word has been mentioned and the end is in sight I Just Want To Go Home. I have lost all mental capacity for patience or rational thought. She's so close now but she needs to learn how to feed. We're not even talking bottle or breast, I am talking coordinating sucking, swallowing and breathing. Yesterday she had her first go on the bottle. She's a bit clumsy still, but she'll get it I am sure. Bottle is pretty easy after all. The breastfeeding thing is another matter. She sucks but doesn't seem to get anything out. It could be that she's just not v good at it, but my breasts don't leak and I don't have like a gushing flow when I express either, so now I am worried it's my breasts that are the problem.Also, I am paranoid that I will get stuck in hospital longer because I am breastfeeding whereas I might be able to take her home on bottles of expressed milk. Really I should worry about that when we get to that bridge, instead of now ... Also, it is tempting now to say that I will bottle feed her expressed milk, but I might be cursing myself x weeks down the line having to express every time she feeds.

Dildals it must be frustrating to be so close yet not quite. But Bella is doing so well and has come so far it sounds like she will get the hang of feeding and once you are ready at home she will be with you on no time. I can't wait to meet her. She sounds great.
I thought that sweetie said that the star fleeces are really useful to go out in the buggy cause you can open them easily. The fact that they are also cute is a bonus. I'll send you the pushchair stuff tonight.

Mariana glad school run was ok this morning. Oh God I wish I'd sneeze and pop shazlett out in time for tea and a biscuit. I'll probably be posting from my hospital bed after the epidural has kicked in . Can't wait to be visiting sewing shops with my mum and baby in tow

Keep sorry about the diarrhoea. Sounds like it is a minor blip though. I know what you mean re making friends. I'm already paying for NCT to do that. Also given that gin also attends both yoga and nct and we are already friends and there are all of you in london and further afield i feel like I've got loads of friends. Maybe I'll stick to yoga with my DVD afterall.

X

Keep, I cross posted with you. I wouldn't worry about a bit of diarrhea, it can be a sign yes but it's more than likely just something you ate annoying your guts.

dildals I think it has probably done you good to have a big cry. You've got so much on your plate. Bella is getting there, she's doing so very well already, you will have her home soon and you will find the best way for her to feed for both of you.

Two or 2.5 tog sleeping bags are what I use every day - Grobag is a good make. The baby has to be over 7.5 pounds though I think. Cot mattress - we have a Mothercare one that cost £75 I think. I don't think it's anything special.

mariana the new trenchlet is just gorgeous -she looks such a happy smiley baby. Pleased to hear school went ok. Did DD enjoy it?

shazz the yoga is a bit yummy mummy isn't it? When I went there were quite a few from the balham ( posh) end of the hood. I found the half hour of relaxation a bit bollocks too and would rather have gone home! I panicked that she'd abandoned us and then got the giggles at the oddness of the situation. I did find that generally people took it a bit too seriously... As a super unfit person I found the level of activity about right a bit knackering and will try to go to the odd class as my back felt amazing afterwards!

Btw, at the picnic your bump was totally gorgeous! Just the right size and v neat and tidy I thought. Am looking forward to seeing you on Sat. Did you get the email/text from the teacher?

keep sorry to hear about the squits. Am sure it's just one of those things. I think it'd have to be pretty severe to be an infection or bring on labour ( well that's what the new scientist lady's book says). Hope you feel better soon.

dildals I 'm not surprised you had a good ole cry. It must be so hard. But very soon you will be able to bring your little Bella home. She looks like she's grown so much in the latest pics.

ceara I'm sure you bump will pop out any day! I think it really does depend on how you're carrying them, position etc.

sweetie your fur baby sounds ace. And I'm sure you'll manage just fine with the dog and baby.

Oh and can I ask mariana what bedding you would use for a tiny baby in winter, if too small for grow bags

Waves to everyone else.

Birth plans hmmm. At the moment mine involves pink champagne once the baby is safely out and that's it! I don't really have strong opinions and am happy to follow whatever the clinical staff recommend (unless it hurts a lot and I want big drugs). I guess the NCT classes may help, but in a way I'd rather be flexible and then not disappointed if I don't get my plan.

The ginster kicked me so hard this morning that she made my handbag move, which was in my lap! I can't believe how much movement there is, but I do love it and find it v reassuring. Am surprised at how low down some kicks are in my foof basically

gin the first time I got kicked in the foof we were at a concert and I almost jumped out of my chair!

I wasn't really thinking of an infection, more just worried it was a sign of imminent labour. But all else is normal, so I'm sure its fine. Thanks all.

trenchlet is just so damned gorgeous, Mariana!

I also get kicked in the good daily. First time it happened I was talking to my boss and i jumped so much I thought I was going to piss myself

I'm so very farty today. I feel like I've been holding in bubbles all day. It must be like a jacuzzi in there for shazlett!

Me too shaz I can feel, and hear whooshes, going round the outside of the baby.

Oh god, at nct my stomach did a huge long growl, I was so embarrassed. Dh said no one would have thought it a fart, but still

keep A bit late but I've had loose stools on occasion, at your disguised fart

dildals it must be tough, you are on the home stretch now, ebay might have some prem clothes

shazza I did at your yoga chat, they sound a bit umm precious to me, I don't think you are having an elephant, I still look fat at 19 weeks, I'm waiting for my patient to finally get up the nerve to ask if I am just fat or pregnant :)

mariana Glad there were no tears today

ceara sorry when did yo say your 20 week scan was ?? I'm slightly forgetful these days

I've been having lots of 'feeling' down there, I think its just more stretching than minibee as some of the 'feelings' are quite strong, still feeling a bit sick, thankfully we have a lift where I work which makes life at little

A colleague who was seeing a former patient of mine said that I needed to contact them as she is keen to knit for me someone else has told me she will give me some of her baby clothes too as she has girls. I have bought a bundle off Ebay so will have to see what turns up :)

The balham connection explains the clientele last night Gin. I was struggling to believe that they all lived in downtown Streatham. Although the house where the studio is is amazing. I was so jealous! I'll go next week. We can giggle together. Am also looking forward to seeing you on sat. Yes got the email and have bought a new notebook and pencil case set.

Keep heehee at suppressed farts. It takes such a lot of effort doesn't it?

Buzz are you feeling better now? Sorry you are still feeling sick. You have been so unlucky on that front, When is your 20 week scan? Good news re eBay bundle. I've got some girly stuff in the freecycle bundle so if shazlett is a boy and I decide against early cross dressing all you pink ladies can take your pick.

Blimey this bus is hot. I'm sweating like a beast. That, along with the farting and huge balloon feet makes me feel particularly attractive this evening!

Oh you poor things. Lie in a cool darkened room with your feet up and fart to your hearts content.

Gin mmm to champagne. I also had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on my wish list. Then pate and blue cheese. DH had it all waiting for me the day I got home from hospital.

Thanks for the compliments about my girlie. She is so smiley and so chubby these days.

In winter I would dress the baby in a long sleeved vest and a sleepsuit. I would use a stretchy cotton swaddle wrap (arms free of they don't like them swaddled) but mostly to keep the legs covered. I'd then layer cellular blankets on top and loosely tuck them down the side of the cot mattress. If the room is average temperature I'd use a wrap and two blankets (or one folded in half). For every degree below 19 degrees I'd add another layer of cellular blanket. Feel the babies top of chest or back of neck to check they are warm but not too hot. Their hands are often cold so are not a reliable indicator. Also babies don't sweat very much so that's not reliable either, they can overheat without sweating. Oh and no hats indoors ever except when they are first born, for a few hours.

If your baby sleeps in the pram use blankets outside rather than them awful pram suit things as then you can remove a blanket without waking the baby when you get home and safely leave the baby to sleep on. Never leave a baby asleep in a pram by a radiator.

That is all my baby sleep / warmth knowledge!