Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Nokkie there wasn't a day that went by when I didn't have aches, twinges, sharp pains, dull pains. Obviously I worried about them but the general advice was that there is an awful lot happening in there so you're bound to feel all sorts of things. The only really worrying pain is strong contracting pain and that's a world away from period like pains. Get checked anyway but I'm as sure as I can be that it's nothing much!

Routines, hmm. I'll be honest and say I am fairly anti Gina Ford style stuff early on. They sound great but I think they are hard to implement and you'd have to be quite tough. I would say only try a routine from the off if it really appeals to you, otherwise it might stress you out. My friend tried to do Gina Ford and was always fretting that her baby was doing the 'wrong' thing at the wrong time. Early on I found it much less stressful to be more or less baby-led than to have a routine, until one emerged anyway at about 9 months, which is also when I did sleep training. It's also hard to bf to a routine as bf younger babies will feed for hours some days and not others. I'd say research it but don't worry about it too much, you'll end up with a vague routine of your own regardless.

motor where are you ??? How was your scan

shazza welcome back, I thought we were going organise another group get together before the babies arrive :) it must have been lovely to spend time with your niece and enjoy it

mrsh enjoy your hols :)

keep my kitty is my fur baby and I wouldn't be without her even though she is a little madame at times most of the time in fact always can I ask how long you were away for, very thoughtful that you are getting them a kitten

mariana love your DD1's imagination with the songs and thanks to you and ceara I spent last night searching for a lovely sampler that has numbers and the alphabet on it, Barry also approves which is good :)

niknoks sorry about the scare, I have lots stretching things going on down there, I had a really sharp pain today that really took my breath away perhaps I am a sook

I haven't bought/read any books yet, I am taking suggestions than shall look them up. A colleague said she would bring in some of hers for me to look at. I think routine is an individual thing, I know people who think they have a routine but seem totally disorganised to me, I am a little OCD anal retentative I've heard Gina Ford is a bit to controlling in her regimes, the midwife I see for IV says breastfeed on a kind of schedule and not just leave it up to the baby to decide otherwise you will never be able to go anywhere or plan anything, at the time I thought it made sense at the time but then I thought if the baby has other plans, I do like a routine and hope that we will get into one of some description earlish on but we shall see minibee might have other ideas

Gosh it's hard to go back to work! I swear the clock went backwards today

I'm amazed at the lazy daisy bargain I wished I'd known about it sooner. There is so much out there it is impossible to keep on top of it all no matter how much research you do. And I've done A LOT! I keep worrying that I've missed something crucial and now I don't have time to make up for it.

Mariana my instinct tells me that I'm with you re routines. I only flicked through the Gina ford book but instinctively don't feel it's for me. My gay friend tells me that his cousin swears by it and her 2 kids are beautifully behaved but I can't help wondering if they have been forced into 'beautiful' behaviour by such a strict regime. At the moment I feel that id like our relationship with shazlett to develop abit more organically. But maybe im just being naive.

I'm currently reading the continuum concept which is completely the opposite to ms ford. I've only just started so I'm not sure if this will provide any insights either.

Noks how did the appt go? All ok?

Keep I know, can you believe it? Only10 weeks to go. I haven't stopped feeling like its a game and not really going to happen. This week had given me a tiny insight into the world of a toddler and I don't feel so bad now. I know a week isn't a life time but I've seen that I'm able to feed, change and keep her clean at least. I even had to 'help' her go to the loo poor thing.

How did the scan go today motor?

I decided to go for the 4d scan groupon. I'm still in 2 minds about it but I did it anyway. We have it next Monday. We definitely won't find out the sex. Im nervous about seeing what shazlett looks like.

I read yesterday that the baby takes loads of calcium now every day for developing bones so I'm going home to mash up a tin of salmon bones and all to make fish cakes

Oh and has anyone started their birth plan? Any tips? My MW wants mine next week. What do you all think about vit k injections at birth?. I don't know what to do for the best. X

Hello buzz

We cross posted. Oh yes let's all meet up again. I've got NCT on Saturday mornings starting this sat but can meet up afterwards. And as gin is going to be there too maybe we can travel together. Lets look at dates.

noks you have made me very happy! How little it can take to make the day seem better:-) I'm sorry to hear about your scare, though. Hope the midwife was able to set minds at rest?

buzzy, I'm glad you're going ahead with project sampler, I'm sure your little one will love it too in years to come.

Furbabies, hmmm - how do those of us with these creatures in our lives already plan to deal with introducing a human baby to the happy home? We have a kitty too, a rescue mog with deceptive "cute ickle thick furball" looks which belie decided opinions and the manners, morals, vocabulary and swaggering confidence of a backstreet alley cat. My guess is he will not be chuffed by disruption in his little world...

Hi all! 12 week scan went well. Mini Motor has got all the right measurements and a good strong heartbeat. He was wriggling around quite a bit, and the midwife sonographer said that everything looks normal and healthy. I really can't believe it. I was so convinced that the baby had died. I think that now I am moving into unchartered territory (last pregnancy mmc detected at 12 week scan) and I just want to leave the past behind and ditch at least some of the anxiety. Going to take Mr Motor out for dinner tonight for being such a wonderful support over the past few weeks - I convinced him that it would be a great idea to have IVF, and since I got pregnant have been more miserable and tormented than he has ever known me! Poor chap.

ceara DH wants to find out the sex, and I don't. We haven't quite worked out who will get their way yet.

Love to all. Sorry for the me, me, me post. Can start being more sociable from now.

ceara I love the description of your kitty, mine is going to have to give up her room for the baby, she is very demanding for attention in the morning so I don't see it going down well I keep saying that we are bringing another person in the world to love her but in reality its someone who will deprive her of attention and pull her tail :)

shazza A meet up would be great, I haven't even looked into birthing classes, when should I start doing this

Motor really brilliant news! I hope you have a lovely evening!

shazz, I don't think you'd be a Fordite. We have friends who swore by her and their two kids were like robots but it felt a bit too good to be true and just a bit too regimented - but they probably think we're chaotic. Each to their own! I was baby led all the way last time except for controlled crying, which is what a lot of people object to with routines. Just shows how we all pick and choose what works for us. This is why I liked the What mothers do book as she wasn't judging anybody's approach.

I don't have a sampler for me but I have three dresses my grandma made for me as a baby that I have dressed mine in. She was a dressmaker so they are beautifully sewn, ditsy floral cotton, with pin tucks, puff sleeves and whatnot. I took Trenchlet to visit her the other week wearing one. Grandma (93) was pleased to see her handiwork still in use, although she did object to the jeggings Trenchlet was wearing under the dress.

No pets here, DD1 asks me every day for a pet. She believes my genuine allergy to fur also excludes goldfish. One more day before school starts. I am absolutely exhausted. Today we have done hoovering, play dough, drawing, laundry, painting, mopping, stickers, TV, supermarket, glueing, singing to the baby, more TV, more drawing and now, finally she's in bed. I need a drink.

I don't think I'm skilled enough to start making clothes or embroidery for the baby, but I am making a CD. Anybody else done/doing this? I'm putting songs which crop up which are significant.

motor sorry we x posts, that is great news, welcome to uncharted territory :) great idea about the CD

I have just looked at the mat policy for where I work and I think it looks better than I first thought, best to get Barry to look over it though

mariana I love the idea of having something to pass on to the next generation, my mum has some baby clothes that she thought her grand children would wear, pity she fell out with both her daughters, I did make my nieces christening gown but then my sister pissed about with setting a date so she was too big to fit in properly

Hi all- I'm also counting down the days until DS girs back to school-mariana. He just had so much energy when it isn't being siphoned off five days a week. Luckily the weather has been so good we've got away with park and paddling pool five days in a row!

I've got that Naomi Stadlen book and it is wonderful, thank you for reminding me of it.

motor I am so so happy for you and little Motor! It will all start to feel different now.

noks I was having some twinges today too but am sure it is just this great creaking watermelon of a womb I have. Seriously I look like I swallowed a dinosaur egg. Try not to fret. Your DH is a contractor too? I am so sick of it and so is DH, it is just such a common mode of working in his field.

shazza and buzzy I can see the value of trying sleep training like mariana when the baby is older but the idea of forcing a very young baby to feed on schedule just strikes me as misery for both you and baby. Especially when you are breast feeding because when they start wailing your body starts to oblige by leaking - what do you do, put the hungry little thing in a cot and plug your ears while you count down the alloted 30 min or whatever? I think people who found the whole schedule feeding worked had children who were quite orderly and quiet anyway. And it really isn't so inconvenient to BF when you are out and about anyway, that is the beauty of it.

The only book I really followed was called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr M Weissbluth. He really emphasises the importance if establishing regular naps and bedtimes early on because he thinks many children are too tired in our society. I found it quite sensible and DS has always napped and gone to bed easily so maybe it worked! However he has always woke up a lot at night so I haven't had a complete win on that count.

I can't believe I am next up on this thread for the big day. I keep thinking it's ages from now. However I did book the birthing pool today and buy some sleep suits in the weekend so I will get there eventually. Waiting to give birth is the weirdest thing because you know you will definitely have this major life changing experience some time in the next X weeks but just not when or exactly how. Can't think if anything comparable.

ceara we have a cat but she is totally chilled so I'm not worried about the baby pissing her off except on cold nights when she likes to sleep on our bed and if we have the baby with us she might get booted out.

Welcome back shazz! So pleased to hear you had a fab holiday and how lovely that you got on so well with your niece. You will make such a fab mum! I am looking forward to Sat. A tad scared - hope the teacher is good and not too judgey. Not sure Mr G is looking forward to it though... I'm going back to yoga next week, which is when I think the teacher is back. Hope you enjoy it!

I think I'm with mariana re routines and I don't intend to read much re baby pop psychology. My friend has bought me a baby basics book, which is great and no doubt I'll rely on dr google and try to find my own way through things. I say now ... I'll prob end up desperate and read everything I can when the baby won't sleep!

noks I too get the pseudo period pains occasionally and go mad on google In fact I wonder if I still have a bit of a hormonal monthly cycle, as have been getting spots, headaches and pains at about what would be my normal period time. Or it could just be hormone rises or somethink. I also get random pains that I put down to wind or the ginster being wedged under an internal organ. Hope all went well with the MW.

keep I totally know what you mean bout playing a part. I spend so long worrying about this pregnancy and putting all my efforts into it that I sometimes forget there will be a real life baby at the end!

ceara my HR told me about the bank hols :) I think all work places have to give them to you with accrued paid annual leave? Our fur baby is a kind that lives in a cage, so should be fine! Just hoping ginster isn't allergic to her. Fur baby is a girl too - mr G will be totally outnumbered!

buzz another meet up would be great. I like shazz's idea of a sat lunch post nct. I think a sampler is a beautiful idea and am hoping MIL may do one for the ginster.

mrshy your baby moon sounds ace. We had a lush boutique night away a few weeks ago and that's it for us!

Yay motor, great news re the scan! I'm not sure the anxiety ever stops, but hope you feel reassured for the moment.

fairy not long to go now

I ended up doing much more 'having a break' from the decorating yesterday than I did decorating! I did have a bit of a melt down last night when I realised that the undercoat we'd been using was for gloss ie not to be put over whole walls or used by preggos. After much googling, despite the NHS advice not to use it, I couldn't find much evidence of what it could do to the baby and any concerns were based on studies of glue sniffers! Obviously this didn't stop me wailing about having poisoned our baby, but she's moving lots today probably high

Just a quickie - I have just received my weekly NHS email, which says that you should take folic acid (before I amended that, I had written frolic acid!) until 12 weeks. I thought you just took it throughout pregnancy. Also, it seems to me that with a good diet, you don't really need pregnancy vitamins. I would happily give them up but scared I'd be lacking in something. I'm vegetarian, so know I would have to ensure I got the B vitamins. Any thoughts?

gin I have been quite paranoid about chemicals since that misguided and much maligned paper issued by the Royal College of Obstetrics recently which basically said that you had to avoid anything and everything, just to be on the safe side. Re-decorating the house goes hand in hand with expecting a baby, doesn't it? I'm sure you'll be fine, but it could be a very good excuse for getting other people to do the work for you.

Morning ladies

Motor well done for your scan and welcome to unchartered territory. Hurrah. So excited for you I hope you and mr motor had a lovely meal to celebrate I also thought about making a mix tape (I'm old and that's what they used to call them in my day) for shazlett. I'm thinking about songs I can sing to her. Mainly musical theatre greats! I'm taking pregnacare throughout. I'm also veggie (eat fish) and was dairy free for a while. I then panicked about calcium so have started eating yoghurt although my chronic skin condition isn't thanking me. The sacrifices have started already! make sure you eat loads of beans and pulses for protein. I make tonnes of hummous and eat it with oat cakes and veggies as snacks.

Buzzy look and see if those lazy daisy classes are near you. They sound great and affordable and will give you a good start. Are you signed up for antenatal classes with the MW?

Mariana the what mothers do book sounds ace. Can't wait to get my copy. I think that I'll be knocking on your door for advice (even more than now) cause I like the sound of what you have going on with trenchlet how is she doing?

Fairy I laughed outloud about your dinosaur egg! Well done for getting the pool. Have you done a birth plan yet? When do you start mat leave?

Gin I'd forgotten all about periods. We have to go back to that every month. What a pain! After Noks' post I asked work about bank hols but HR rep didn't think they give me them. She went off to investigate. It is so worrying about the paint isn't it but I'm sure you won't have poisoned Ginster. Think of all those b&q ads that have pregnant couples painting nurseries. Do take it easy though.

Huge hello to everyone else. Gorgeous pic of Bella waving hello on FB

I couldn't be less interested in going to work. I slept so badly. Up 4 or 5 times for a wee and couldn't get comfy. I also got a nosebleed in the night. Ive been getting very stuffy at night and there is blood on the tissue when I blow. Sorry TMI! Apparently this is common.

Have a good day. X

Oh and Gin don't worry about MrG on Saturday. He can team up with Mr Shaz. Im looking forward to it. Hopefully it will be fun. I hope we don't have to watch any birth videos though. Im supposed to avoid them with hypnobirthing.

That's a plan shazz! Mr Shazz is northern too isn't he? Although he sounds much more refined! I think it should be fun and hopefully make me feel a bit more prepared. Slightly gutted about the Lazy Daisy ones being so much cheaper, but I guess with nct ones we should meet people in our own hood.

motor I too am a veggie. I've been taking the pre conception/pregnancy multivits for approximately 3 years now! Before ttc I used to take a general multi vit with iron in it, cos I know I don't get enough, so made sure the conception vits have iron in them. The only thing I know I def don't get are the omega 3s, as I don't eat fish. I did try flax seed oil for a bit, but kinda forgot about it! Must get some more. shazz your humous sounds delish!

motor you only need to take folic acid until 12 weeks because (I think) that is when the neural tube is completed and the point of the folic acid is to reduce neural tube defects (eg a hole in the spinal cord). As long as you eat a healthy balanced diet (which doesn't need meat) then I wouldn't worry about vitamin deficiencies, including vit B. They always say that the baby takes what it needs from you anyway and you end up deficient not him or her!

gin I wouldn't panic about inhaling paint fumes. They advise against it but I think that is just so as to minimise all possible risk - and because conceivably there may be pregnant women who would otherwise expose themselves to fumes all day long for weeks on end when pregnant (or are glue sniffers!) and so they want to prevent those extreme cases. As shazza says, most parents do some repainting/DIY before the baby comes. My DH is repainting the bits of our house that look shabby and although I haven't been helping him, I haven't moved out either.

shazza I have the start of a birth plan - eg home birth, birthing pool, transfer to hosp if signs of distress, vit K injection (don't see the problem with it really but I can't remember all the details), I have chosen 'active' management of the third stage, eg where they give you an injection to deliver the placenta rather than waiting for it to come out naturally because I had a post-partum haemorrhage with DS and there is a slightly increased risk of heavy bleeding with the natural management. I don't want a PPH again, especially if I am at home!

I am not officially starting mat leave until Friday, 27 Sept but I am winding down and hoping to get a few days off before then. As long as I manage my own work I pretty well set my own schedule so it is really up to me and how quickly i can get my replacement up to speed.

Fairy I think we have similar approaches. The leaking milk when they cry just reinforces feeding on demand in my experience. It's a relief to latch them on, for you and the baby.

Gin don't worry about the paint. Exhaust fumes are probably as bad and we don't avoid them as we can't. (Well unless you live in the sticks! Although here in the sticks we have slurry to contend with...)

Motor I suspect the reason why they say up to 12 weeks is to lessen financial pressure on poorer people to buy expensive prenatal vits throughout. There is little evidence for the benefit of supplements so it's not ethical to say they're essential, but we get sucked in, just in case. I have a very good diet yet I still spent £££ on pregnacare and omega 3. The diets of everyone on here sound absolutely fine to me, I don't want to sound all Jamie Oliver but most people have shocking diets and their babies are fine. As a vegetarian I'd watch your iron, that's all.

Shazz Trenchlet is fine thanks, she's currently feeding away happily. I put up a newer pic of her too. She's learned to roll over and discovered playing with her feet. She has started cawing like a crow when she's drifting off to sleep on my shoulder. It's very amusing. I forgot to say that I'm glad you felt reassured by spending time with your niece - and babies are easier than toddlers.

I hope MrS sells lots of paintings. Does he have a website - I'd love to see his work - can you send me a link? And yours too if you have them anywhere. I'm a bit of a frustrated artist myself, I used to do life classes at my local art school years ago but I have to make do with doing creative things with DD1 these days. I have a few original paintings (from when I had money!) and would love more, but we're just too skint these days.

Oh and every time I blew my nose when pregnant there was a bit of blood. It's something to do with increased blood flow isn't it?

DH is away again but my mum has come to stay thankfully. I have one more day to fill with DD1, I'll take her blackberry picking shortly and then we can make a pie or something, that she will then of course refuse to eat.

Also what fairy said about neural tube defects and folic acid. That's the main reason!

shazza I have blood but only from my left nostrel when I blow my nose, i've looked at the daisy classes but want to view some more first, as we'll have to do it on the weeken I need something close by as we only have the weekend to get everything done

motor its up to you if you want to carry on or not, you don't have to take pregnacare but vitobiotix do a 3 for 2 offer online but most multi vits are the same, you should have had you your iron levels checked along with all your blood tests and if you need anything the mw's will supply you with some

Hi Girls
I hope you have had a good day.

Yes, Gin, Mr Shaz is a yorkshire lad. I will say though that he is well into all the pregnancy classes. He has been brilliant at embracing hypnobirthing. I'm sure that he will reassure Mr Gin.

Fairy I was concerned about giving Shazlett an injection so soon after being born. I have read about giving Vitamin K orally so I thought that I would investigate that more. Your point about active third stage is interesting. I didn't know that. I will look into it so thanks for sharing. Good news that you can wind down abit. I'm not too busy at work at the moment but I expect it will pick up once the term starts. They haven't even advertised for my cover yet. I leave in 6.5 weeks, they had better get a wriggle on.

mariana Trenchlet's new pic is so cute. She looks so lively and alert. I have also spent £££s on supplements. I started when TTC and am now too superstitious to stop. DP is constantly telling me that crack addicts get pregnant and have babies so Shazlet will be fine with my healthy diet. I'll PM you with mine and DPs websites if you are interested. Lucky you having some original paintings. We have a few different things, mainly from DPs students (he teaches one day a week). He doesn't want any of his paintings in the flat although we do have a couple things that I love. it is good if you can maintain some creativity. I'm hoping to keep it up once Shazlet is born. Because DP is freelance, we are hoping to share childcare once we have got ourselves a 'routine'. Glad your mum has come to stay. Did you make a pie?

Buzzy My iron levels were borderline after my last blood tests from MW and she recommended that I get Spatone so I have ordered them on Amazon. She didn't volunteer getting them for me for free though. Funnily enough I also bleed from my left nostril. The stuffiness is worse at night. Have you checked out how much NCT costs in your area? The price seems to vary so much.

Hello to everyone else. I hope that you are all ok this evening.

DP is going to be late again tonight so I'm off to bed. Night Night xx

noks My friends thought the baby whisperer 'routine' was quite good. Take Gina out of the library, have a read, and take out of it what makes sense to you. I was all going to be Gina but with a prem baby this all goes out the window.

Fairy OMG re job, that's a bit of stress you could do without, nothing you can do about it though.

Shazz re birth plan perhaps you want to discuss delayed cord clamping with your NCT group.

Good Bella News: On Mon morning they do the big Drs round on SCBU and her Dr came to have a chat with me as a result. Normally he's v cagey re discharge date but this time he said he can see her being released in a week / ten days time!! I am insanely excited. On Monday she was 34 weeks and should have grown out of bradycardias and apnoeas (forgetting to breathe). (They give the babies caffeine to stop this!) She needs to be able to regulate her own temperature. She's on a heated mattress at the moment but she's being weaned off that. The next big thing is getting the feeding down. Dr thinks she will get the hang of this in a week, I think this is ambitious, but even if it takes longer it means end at the light of the tunnel. I can't wait to leave the hospital WITH a baby. I can't wait for her to sleep on my chest, she always looks so peaceful when she does. I can't wait to respond to her cry in the night, rather than the nurses who probably leave her to cry. I can't wait to just have her with me all the time.

So we now have to get the nursery done quick smart. (Oh and shaz YES share your buggy research. My main concerns are weight, foldability and being able to run with it. I also prefer mum-facing buggy, rather than fwd facing.) My mum's visit turns out to be fortunate timing! I couldn't sleep last night, worrying about germs, how to keep SIL's disease riddled children away, what to do if she won't feed or cries the whole time. (She gets irate really quickly if she's not fed on time, and she can't concentrate on BFing properly when she's besides herself!)

Not sure how DH is doing at the moment. He's averaging a bottle of wine a night. I mentioned earlier this evening to raise money for the neonatal ward and he said (after said bottle) that he still feels angry with the hospital, because he should have taken home two girls rather than one ... now I feel sad for him!

and for you non-FB people there is a new, incredibly cute, Bella picture on my MN gallery.

Aw she's lovely Dildals, she looks do much bigger and stronger now. I do hope she's home sooner rather than later. Doctors are not generally that overly optimistic so I hope it is only another couple of weeks. I think you will feel so utterly different lying in your own bed with her sleeping on your chest. She won't cry all the time as you'll be there with her all the time! Keep the children away at first if it makes you feel better - I'm sure people will understand.

I would keep a close eye on DH's drinking (I'm sure you are). My DH drinks too much when he's really stressed but he realises when this is happening and stops it. I hope your DH can get some support though. Everything will still be so raw for both of you, it takes years to 'process' the grief.

I recommend Spatone too, you can't get it on prescription but it's often on 3 for 2 in Boots. Very gentle with no gastric side effects.

Shazza, thanks for the links, I've been browsing during this 5am feed. I've never even considered the injection element of vitamin k! I can see why the oral dose might be more preferable.

I've never written a birth plan as first time I just didn't know what to write other than keeping an open mind and with an ELCS nobody gave me any choices about anything. I think that quite sadly I assumed that birth would be traumatic for both baby and mother but we would both get over it! I wish I hadn't felt like that but it's too late now.

First day of school today. I was quite tearful when I went in to tuck her in last night - my baby can't be going to school already! Her uniform looks so grown up and she's still so awfully young. I'll have to be brave, at least with mum being here I can leave the baby with her and take DD1 on my own so she has my full attention for once.

Great pic dildals - she is so beautiful!

On a wim yesterday I ordered the The Attachment Parenting book by Dr Sears - anyone read it? I also ordered Mariana's recommendation.