Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Two girls! That will change the names list somewhat then...

motor good luck for the scan on Monday. I hope you can relax over the weekend.

buzzy good luck for your scan too. I know it's not ideal financially but I think it's really nice that your DH can be there when the baby is little. It's so much easier with two of you and he'll be so much more competant!

crisp yay to two girls :) the NHS/government are screwing me over with my pension they might as well get me with my mat pay

motor 12 weeks already, like they say everyone else pregnancies go so fast, finger crossed for Monday

mariana He is hoping to have a commutable job before then if not he will take time off from mid Jan to beginning of April if possible, its been hard at times without him here, I don't fancy being on my own with the baby for days on end

Congratulations Crisps on 2 girls

A book recommendation for you all: What mothers do - especially when it looks like nothing by Naomi Stadlen. I'm half way through it and I wish I'd read it before I had DD1. It's a lovely, reassuring, compassionate book about the realities of new babies and new motherhood and how society does not value mothers. Very easy to read without being dumbed down and tried very hard not to be judgey. Lots about feeling overwhelmed which is something we've discussed here.

Hey ladies, I am back from my scan, all ok, we are also having a girl, I read some so called health article that said you are more likely to have a boy on IVF I do find it interesting that that there are so many girls on this thread, we had ICSI so wonder if the girl sperm are stronger to start with at selection ??

sweetie your little boy is going to have girls falling all over him when he is older

mariana thanks for book tip, I am making a list but feel I should actually start buying books sooner rather than later

That's fantastic news buzzy - I'm so pleased for you! Does you feel any more confident now? Does it feel more real? So many girls on here! X

today I feel reassured, she again looked at the brain and heart and told me she doubted I would have any nasty shocks at my 20 week scan she also suggested I try and relax I think it was her polite way of saying she sees me too often, I feel its time to get on with things but will wait until I have had my 20 week scan,

Excellent news buzzy, glad all was well. Take it at your own pace though, every radiographer has told eme to 'stop worrying and relax' and it only pissed me off! Finally feeling happier now I'm over halfway and getting closer to the viable stage, but it did take a while. Must be nice to be given some confidence though!

We are creating a hareem for sweetie's little boy so far!

That's brilliant news buzzy, I'm so glad all was well today. I always think "relax" is the most maddening and useless advice, though - even if we all know we should :-) And so good you were able to have the scan on a day your husband could be there.

There is a definite gender bias going on, isn't there? The Chinese gender predictor reckons mine is a girl too but as I recall the Chinese gender predictor hasn't had a good hit rate so perhaps it will buck the trend and actually turn out to be a boy! That said, we still haven't decided whether to find out on Friday...

thank you ladies, I had a quick look at the ante natal thread, never been on it but it really is like some alien world to me, most have already bought their nursery stuff and prams etc, I did look at some baby clothes on ebay but have decided to just buy some wool to knit with, do babies wear booties these days

crisp at harem he will be spoilt for choice

ceara it is a big decision, this was what they call a quickassure scan, but she is a lovely sonographer and aware that I am worrier as soon as she offered to look I nearly bit her hand off

Congratulations buzzy on your gorgeous girl :) That's why we started this thread, most people were looking at prams etc at 5 weeks, seemingly unaware of all that can happen, and able to just enjoy and be excited.

I also read the study saying more ivf babies are boys. Hmm. Well, maybe all the unknowns of us are cooking boys.

ceara its a hard decision. What does dh want to do? Tbh I like not knowing, but am sure knowing is lovely. So maybe its not a hard decision as it doesn't matter

expat hope all is going well. Looking forward to an update when you're home. X

buzzy that was/is exactly how I felt about the antenatal threads! At 5 weeks, my parallel world was more about trying to stave off a panic attack in the supermarket vitamins aisle when I had to shop for pregnancy vitamins after my preconception packet ran out (all I could bring myself to pick up was the tub of folic acid tablets as that would be usable for our next cycle and therefore might not jinx the pregnancy) So I did not feel I quite belonged, and it was lovely to find this thread, where the insanity is embraced and understood.

I am not sure when it is going to get easier to buy or prepare anything for this baby. DH can go buy up Kiddicare after it's born safely and before we come home, right?! :-)

keep, DH doesn't want to know, as the path so far has been so very clinical, and he feels it would restore the balance a little to retain some mystery and find out if it's a boy or girl the traditional way. I do want to know, because I am incurably impatient, because I can't stand the thought of the sonographer knowing something we don't about our baby, and because I would like to be able to think of it as "he" or "she" rather than "it" and hope that may make it feel more real. However, our main preoccupation, like everyone else at this point, is obviously worrying whether there will be any nasty surprises of the anomaly variety so the gender question is mostly a handy distraction from the mentalling!

ceara I don't know if she was lying, but our sonographer at 25 weeks said she didn't know the sex, so maybe unless they look its not that obvious,
iykwim. I just alternate thinking of kip as he and she. Is it just language that gives us this issue? In Thai there is no word for he or she, so I wonder if this'd be less of an issue. After all, the sex isn't what makes a person, and we aren't so interested in other physical characteristics.

Anyway, I've not had a lot of movement this morning, so have some worrying to do. Laters x

Tis ok, breakfast woke kip up :)

buzzy I meant to say, we left the cat with my brother, so she didn't come to Thailand. She def recognizes us which is lovely. I think she's ready to go out now ten days later as she's so bloody noisy. So trying that in short spurts today.

Buzzy congrats on the scan news, it is reassuring that all should be ok at 20 week scan and another girl to be added to the list. We had ICSI too so maybe our boy was just an extraordinary strong boy swimmer. It is bizarre that there are so many girls expected on this thread. I am hoping some of the unknowns may be boys to keep him company.

Keep I defo get more movement after meals, greedy jumbo twins love a feed!!

Hurrah buzzy and crisps for good scan and more girls ! ceara and motor good luck for yours next week.

This really is a pink thread!

Re buying stuff, I've started and it does feel a bit odd, but not feeling prepared was starting to make me feel a bit stressed and most of the kids places have really long return periods...

I too get more movement after food, especially sweet stuff.

We're decorating today, boo. I keep having to have breaks as being on my feet too long knackers me out. Am hoping the recent daily fail scaremongering about paint fumes and pregnancy was bollocks...

Hope everyone else is well and having nice weekends.

keep I don't know if I could give back a cat that i had been looking after I would think of them as mine :) My cat would love to go live with MIL, she makes such a fuss of her when she comes to visit glad kip is ok :)

ceara thats tough when one wants to know and one doesn't, I know I couldn't have kept it secret from Barry so I would have let it slip at some stage. It does feel a bit more real now, I think I can feel movement but could be wrong, we now refer to her as she or by her name and have even discussed the future, yes I know she hasn't even been born yet, I have also told the cat that she will have a little person to dress her up

motor I shall be thinking of you tomorrow

oh it was a private scan and it was the only one I could get that week, if it had been on a week day then I wouldn't have found out the gender, I just needed to be reassured that all was going to plan.

I don't relate to antenatal thread at all, some of it made me cringe, I had always planned to embroider a birth sampler but now feel that is a bit old fashioned so now need to think of something else.

buzz I know, I felt bad taking her back, but she's my baby... We are getting them a kitten.

Nothing wrong with old fashioned.

sweetie at jumbo twinnies...

Good luck tomorrow motor

Gah! I'm so behind that in the space I've been away an actual flippin BABY has been born! Congratulations Expat!!
Fab news too re your scan Buzzy - another girl to add to the mix!
Hi everyone! Sorry to have been so rubbish lately - have been busy in the week and then have had full weekends. And we go away on our last babymoon on Saturday to Portugal for a week! I will try to catch up properly but just wanted to check in and say hi xx

Hi mrsH, enjoy your holiday!

buzzy hurrah for another girl, glad all was well. My mum did lovely samplers for mine. I think they're lovely framed in their rooms.

Good luck tomorrow motor.

I'm worn out but still have two days with no childcare to go. Trenchlet is now refusing to feed properly unless she's in a totally silent room, which is nigh on impossible during the day, even with Tinkerbell on a loop on the TV. I hope this is a passing phase. If not it should at least get easier once DD1 is at school and not bellowing expletives in Trenchlet's face all the bloody time. DD1 has devloped a habit of singing nonsense songs that contains obscenities. A mild example would be the chorus of 'pissy wissy' that she was singing in the car today. It gets much, much worse. My ineffectual response is to say 'let's sing a song with proper words darling' and be resolutely ignored.

Hello girls

Phew so much has happened but I've caught up now.

Expat I hope your little bundle of joy is ok and you are settling in together. How are you feeling from the op? I'll PM you my Facebook details. Loads of luck and best wishes for the coming days.

Dildals I love bella. She sounds feisty and strong. It's amazing that she is in a cot and her attempts at breastercise (love that) are great. What a personality she is. I'm glad your mum is coming again. Has DH gone back to work now? I loved his first nappy story. I told DP cause that is one of his worries. It's good to know he's not alone. I'm happy to share my pushchair research if that is helpful. It depends on your needs.
Im so pleased with the one we got. It folds so easily and was easy peasy to push. I hope it performs with a real life baby.

Mariana I cracked up at Dd1 in the tree what a brilliant story. £20 pm on nappies etc doesn't sound like much. Thanks for the book tip. I ordered it from amazon along with Naomi whatshername's other book about relationships. That also sounds good.
Sorry to laugh at DD1s rude songbook you tell such a good story.

Crisps congrats on your girls. So exciting. Can't wait to hear your name choices. I hope we will all be writing about our 'threenagers' in years to come! Loved your slobby day. I've looked up lazy daisy. Looks great. There is one in Brixton and its much cheaper than preg yoga. I've emailed the teacher re details. My mat leave is 2 weeks full pay, 4 weeks 90%, then I think it's 12 weeks 50%+ mat pay then the rest mat pay up to 39 weeks. Then 26 weeks unpaid. I really hope to take a year but DP is an artist so it depends on whether he can flog paintings.

Ceara fingers crossed your DH gets a job and you can also enjoy your full mat leave.

Fairy I'm so sorry about your DHs job. What a blow. You sound very calm and practical which is great. It is so reassuring to know that it can be done on not much money. I love your DSs idea about being your manservants. Bless him!

Keep good luck for tomorrow. Glad kip is ok. Shazlett has stopped moving so much at night and I also keep waking up worrying but then she bounces on my bladder and I know that all is well! We also have the swapping from he to she. Here I refer to shazlett as she but inRL I say he. I do think it's a boy so hopefully one to keep sweeties little chap company.

Gin well done for MW appt. and good job with the decorating. I've set some dates for my mum to come back and help. DP is full on painting pictures now for 2 shows before shazlett is born and I can't finish the flat on my own. I'm looking forward to Saturday. And I'm going to yoga this week. Are you?

Motor loads of luck for tomorrow.

Buzzy another girl! Great news. Exciting! In glad you feel more reassured.

MrsH have a fab hols.

Nok how are you and the little nipper? I've still got your cake box. Lets meet up and I'll give it back to you

I hope I haven't missed anyone.

We had a super holiday. Thanks for all your kind thoughts for DN. I totally fell in love with her this week. She was amazing and such good fun. I surprised myself cause I thought my mum would do the childcare and me n DP would slope off but in the end I helped loads and DN was asking me for things and coming to me for comfort. I found it so hard when she was born cause I was TTC and struggling and aslo the relationship with SIL makes it hard to see DN1 and now DN2. So it meant so much to be able to bond with her this week. I cried so much when we left. I did t want to give her back. Thank goodness I have DP and shazlett on the way. I keep feeling overwhelming love for him and shazlett. The depth and intensity of the emotion feels hard to handle and I get upset. I guess I keep thinking how awful it would be to lose them.

Back to work tomorrow. Only 7 weeks to go til mat leave. I can hardly believe it. Fairy is next up and then it's my go. I hit the big 30 weeks on Wednesday. That feels really close and the count down will really begin.

Well I'd better go to bed. DP is at the studio and I have to be up so early so i can't wait for him.

Night all xx

Just popping in to say good luck to motor for today, hope all goes well.

MrsHY Portugal sounds lovely, enjoy!

gin I am impressed by the decorating. Slightly worried to hear you are finding it tiring though sounds like you are pacing yourself, take it easy though. We have decorating still to come once I have stopped faffing and chosen a colour for the living room. Perhaps shazza's plan of drafting parents is the way forward?

buzzy we have an embroidery that my MIL made while pregnant with my husband, he treasures it. I think it's a beautiful thing to do.

Hi to everyone else.

hi shaz good to have you back. I can't believe that you're almost at 30 weeks!! Isn't it weird how at the beginning I felt like you were so crazy far ahead of me with your extra 2 weeks, but in reality we could be due at the same time, and the little ones will basically be the exact same age... That's so lovely that you were able to bond with your niece. I had the same thing with my sister being pregnant while we were ttc. Luckily I was pregnant by the time she had it, because I know that it would have been really hard otherwise. I now feel guilty at having cried so much when I learnt about my niece who I now adore, but I think my sister is probably not even dwelling on that. It's so sweet that your niece was going to you - you're going to be just great. 7 weeks till 'holiday' time - woo hoo.

mrsHY a babymoon sounds amazing. I love Portugal at this time of year - not so crowded or hot as in the summer. Are you going to the Algarve? I wish we had had a chance to do something like that, but we're been too crazy busy. Maybe I can arrange us a long weekend in October or November to a country hotel but somehow all the weekends are running away with us! I still cannot believe that I will have a baby (touch wood) in less than three months. Does anyone else sometimes feel that they are playing a part a lot of the time?!

But, I am really starting to feel pregnant now. As in things are taking a lot more effort than normal. And I feel like a big hefter when I have to change positions in the bed at night...

Hello ladies.

Right then, down to business (and thanks to Shazza for going through all of the post and putting them in order without me having to repeatedly scroll up and down !).

expat like Shaz says, I hope you and mini expat are having a good old time of it. I would be intrigued to know how you're getting on and what kind of routine you are managing (if any). Any tips from the coal face for the early days/weeks ?

dildals please please please don't ever stop telling us stories from Bella's World. She sounds absolutely adorable. Isn't it amazing how they can develop such a personality, even at that small age ? How are you doing ? Are you managing to cope ok ?

crisps whoop whoop on the two girlies ! Lovely news. I have got in touch with the Lazy Daisy woman and she is doing a couples birthing class in a couple of weeks (half a day) and a six week breathing and all that hippy dippy stuff classes for. Hundred bucks. I shit you not. Fucking brilliant value considering the cost of NCT and hypnobirthing so thanks for the top tip beeatch. I shall see how I get on with these classes before committing to hypnobirthing as they incorporate a bit of that into the six week classes.

buzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZy another girl to add to this decidedly pink thread. I am so pleased for you that everything is going well - are you a teeny weeny bit calmer ? For now

mariana it sounds as though DD1 could be the love child of myself and crisps . How was her last day at nursery ? Any more shimmying up the tree and hiding ?

fairy awful news about your DH's job. My DP is a contractor and, to be honest, it is a right royal pain in the derrière at times. I hope he finds something soon.

keep are you starting your new job tomorrow ? Good luck ! Eating also wakes the nipper up too.

ceara we have the same maternity package (obviously !) but I am the same as you in that I can only take about ten months off. Check with HR though as I had a nice surprise when I went down there - they actually give you the bank holidays as extra leave so you can add about ten and a half days to your calculations. Happy days.

gin I hope the decorating has gone ok. Don't do too much !

motor good luck for today !

mrsh have a lovely hollibobs.

shazza it would be lovely to meet-up before you go off on maternity leave. Text me baby ! It's nice to have you back - you are so sweet with your DN !

Ok so I was going along swimmingly and then yesterday I have been really achy. Like period pains. I'm going to see the midwife is morning (luckily I was booked in anyway) just in case. I have been a bit scared and worried, tbh, so I hope it's just my body stretching. I had the nipper's favourite for breakfast (peanut butter on toast) which s/he liked (lots if wriggling) so I am trying to think positively.....

The other thing was.....has anyone started reading books about routine yet ? I just wondered what the general views were.....

Right, off to see Matron now.

Noks xx