Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

I think I might be miscarrying...

121 replies

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 12/08/2013 04:07

Went to the loo before bed last night, bright red blood when I wiped. Just been again, more blood. It's not gushing, just spotting onnthe sanitary towel i am wearing and plenty of blood on the loo roll when I wipe. Plus cramping. Feels like the start of my period. I am 8+6.

This would be DC2, conceived on 23rd cycle of TTC. I fear it could be all over soon. I am gutted. Assuming this is a miscarriage, does anyone know what I should do in the morning? Do I stay home and wait for the bleeding to get heavier? Do I ring midwife? Fertility Unit? (we are registered with the fertility unit as we're on their books when I got my bfp, despite having not had any treatment). Is there anything the HCPs can do, or wil they just tell me to wait it out?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 12/08/2013 13:22

Thanks everyone, been at my mums for the morning, had a couple of hour's sleep. Just been to the loo and passed a large clot. I think that may have been my baby. Looks like its all over. Feels awful to think that what might have grown into my child has just been flushed away, shrouded in toilet paper.

Have contacted the nurse at the fertility unit to request a scan, but I think this will be a confirmation it's all over scan. Am feeling v weak and weary and a bit fragile. Passed out on my way back from the bathroom (managed to get to bed before I flopped - v pleased with my practicality). I think feeling physically crap helps a bit.

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 12/08/2013 13:30

I'm really sorry. Please take care of yourself. Xxx

ExtremeCouponQueen · 12/08/2013 13:33

yorkshire sending you hugs. Please rest as much as possible and drink fluids if you've lost a lot of blood. Make sure you dh looks after your dd tonight and don't feel you have to put a brave face on. If you want to curl up and cry, go ahead. You've been brave enough. We're all here.

CrispyFB · 12/08/2013 13:41

Big hugs, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I bleed a lot in pregnancy, occasionally heavy (with the odd small clot) but mostly spotting, and I've had two later first trimester losses and I found the amount I bleed has zero implications for the outcome. Bleeding is weird.

I'm the result of a very heavy bleed at around this time with my mother - they had told her she had miscarried and to have an ERPC, but she insisted on an x-ray or whatever it was they had back then. Well, I'm glad she did. I assume it was a subchorionic haemmorhage as they can be very heavy and with clots. Not saying you're going to be fine, there is no way to know, but just wanted to give you a tiny chink of hope until you get confirmation either way.

Be kind to yourself.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 12/08/2013 13:49

yorkshire btw, a clot isn't the fetus or embryo. I know you don't want me to keep your hopes up. But that's something I've learned from my own bitter experience. A clot looks like liver (if you have ever handled it raw), and a foetus looks supposedly very very like and foetus and that you will not mistaken it. I have never seen my own one, but that's what the nurses in the hospital explained to me as.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 12/08/2013 13:51

I had ones that are as large as a piece of fish in the supermarket. At least that's my memory of it, which I think the nurses said it probably couldn't have been. But it's fairly traumatic so I'm sure it looks much worse to me.

Big hugs btw. Hopefully your mum can look after you.

highlove · 12/08/2013 13:53

I'm so sorry to hear this, sending you a big virtual hug. I had a m/c with my first pregnancy after 18 months trying and this pg took a further 18 months, so I do know how extra awful it is when don't know when/if you'll get another go. I'm so sorry - be kind to yourself and definitely take some time off to recover xx

Original poster
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 12/08/2013 14:46

Thanks ladies, I didn't actually see the clot, just felt it (it was v painful) pass and heard the splash (TMI i know, but this is probably the only place i can reasonably share it) and by the time I'd finished wiping up the resultant bloody mess, I couldn't inspect cos it was buried beneath the bog roll. Perhaps as well, I don't think I would have really made myself feel any better by looking (although I did contemplate fishing the loo roll out to look for a while). But it did feel like something reasonably sizeable was passing through. I reckon this might be as close as I'm going to get to my VBAC for a while.

I have now eaten and showered and had DD come and offer to give me medicine to make my tummy feel better, and her doll to hold (which was rather bittersweet). I am very very fortunate to have a lovely DD, and my mum within a reasonable distance to come and look after me. DH is even finishing work early and on his way home now, so I expect the TLC to continue this evening. Have told work not to expect me in for a couple of days. I need some time to cry properly and, being a fairly introverted soul, I think this is best done alone. So DD will come to my Mum's tomorrow and I will stay home.

Will be going to fertility unit later in the week for a scan. Would be lovely if I turned up and they told me it was a blood clot of some sort and the foetus is still there. (And if it is i sure as hell will be on he telling you all!) But I am pretty confident that this pregnancy is over now.

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 12/08/2013 14:58

I'd be priming work for more than a couple of days off personally. You need to take time to recover physically and mentally. Just rest and don't push yourself back into normality too soon. X

Xenadog · 12/08/2013 16:20

YTD I think you are being amazingly strong about this and I just want to give you a big hug. You do need to rest and take time to get through this but I am also crossing my fingers that it was a clot you lost. xxx

lucidlady · 12/08/2013 16:26

So sorry Yorkshire. I had a MC two weeks ago and it is exhausting, both emotionally and physically. Please make sure you take the time to rest and grieve. I was off work for 2 weeks. Thinking of you ((((hugs))))

dirtyface · 12/08/2013 17:41

yorkshire i am so sorry

Flowers
Original poster
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 12/08/2013 18:12

Back home and back in bed. Lovely and supportive though my Mum is, she's been looking after DD, which is a full on job, and I did feel a bit of pressure to get up and put a happy face on.

DH will be in charge of DD for the rest of the evening, I should only be called upon to leave my little nest at bedtime story time. My lovely boss has told me to take as long as I need, so my projected couple of days off could turn into the whole week if I need it.

Bleeding has slowed up a lot. Still got period type cramps and feel pretty light headed. I feel drained. Can't believe only a week ago I saw a heartbeat pumping away on my scan, and now it's all over.

Have just realised that there is a specific forum for miscarriage. I looked but couldn't find it when I wrote my OP (I'm a librarian, I Like things to be filed appropriately! Wink). It seems that on Mumsnet, as in life, you are swiftly declassified as an expectant parent as soon as you start to lose the pregnancy. It's strange what sets different people off really. I've been pretty calm all day whilst I miscarried, and now am getting upset by the position of the miscarriage/pregnancy loss topic in the Mumsnet talk taxonomy!

OP posts:
Liskey · 12/08/2013 18:25

Sorry your going through this Yorkshire.

I mc last week at exactly 8 weeks & went to a&e with heavy bleeding./clots & was referred to epu. Epu was very good & had scan the next day which confirmed incomplete mc - however very different to my first mc which was far (sac passed as well) worse. I'd also recommend seeing epu to check if if it is a mc & if so that it has completed (I have to go back to confirm all completed by itself).

Try not to do too much and take care of yourself.

juneau · 12/08/2013 18:25

I'm sorry Yorkshire Flowers

Be kind to yourself and try to nibble on something and keep drinking so you have some strength.

rescoonetwothree · 12/08/2013 18:28

they probably put it in a different section because a lot of people have had that experience before and / or are petrified of it happening to them so probably better for people to source it rather than to come across it all the time if they are already having a hard time relaxing.

rescoonetwothree · 12/08/2013 18:30

sorry posted too soon

it's a horrible thing to happen and hopefully everything will be ok but hopefully you will have the support you need in either outcome, take care

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2013 20:29

No words can make up for your loss. Just wanted to express that my thoughts are with you x

Donnadoon · 12/08/2013 20:51

Flowers OP thinking of you, and we don't mind you staying here x

Nyborg · 12/08/2013 20:54

I'm so sorry, OP. Thinking of you. x

rosyryan · 12/08/2013 21:14

I'm so so sorry Yorkshire Flowers Sad

fluffyraggies · 13/08/2013 07:02

I'm so sorry Yorkshire xx i lost a big clot at 15 weeks, convinced myself it was the end (like you conceived on cycle 23) but baby was fine.

If it is the end though, and you want to stay here and chat it would be absolutely fine Thanks:)

How are you this morning?

rescoonetwothree · 13/08/2013 07:39

Came back to check in - how are you doing today?

Looking back on my post it seems a bit blunt! I wasn't telling you to bugger off I just meant don't take it personally as its probably separate with good intentions for those in both situations!

Original poster
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 13/08/2013 10:53

Morning all, thanks very much fluffy and greymoose for popping back to see how I am. Feeling ok. A bit washed out, but had to get up with DD at 6.30am, (and was up with her at 3.30) so am v tired. At my mums again and about to have a nap. Feeling washed out. Have arranged for DD to stay over at my mums tonight so I can have a lie in tomorrow. I feel like I could just sleep for a week!

Greymoose - no offence taken! I hadn't really thought about it being to prevent the miscarriage topic being a bit in your face for those nervously pregnant after MC. I have been very fortunate not to have had to consider the implications of MC until now.

Fertility unit told me to get in touch when the bleeding has stopped to arrange a scan. Do you think that means to wait until its stopped completely (which could be several days yet) or just until the heavy flow has stopped. Ideally I would like a scan this week; I am 99% sure I passed the whole sac and embryo yesterday, but I didn't look so can't be certain, but would like official confirmation. Also, so I need to contact my GP and let them know I've miscarried?

OP posts:
MrBlondesFries · 13/08/2013 11:14

yorkshire please rest as much as possible, glad you're being looked after by your mum and dh as well.

I personally would call the GP for an appointment and go and see them and request a scan.

I know you suspect the worse and have prepared yourself that you have miscarried, but what of you haven't? I don't want t give you false hope at all, but you cold very well just be experience a very large bleed, or even passed one foetus of a twin. Having said that yes of course it's very likely you could have miscarried as well.

Just don't think you should spend this time without seeing a medical professional and get annoyed with MWs sometimes when they spell everyone to stay at home.

Please call the GP and explain what's happened, even a phone consultation first just to seek professional advice.

Please keep speaking to us for as lon as you need to to the through this.

Swipe left for the next trending thread