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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

did you? or didn't you? just out of curiosity :)

121 replies

Carole803 · 10/08/2013 10:20

My dearest dp and I were having a little 'chat' about finding out the sex of the baby at 20 weeks.

And we were interested to know your views. We know what our friends have chosen, but wanted to look outside our bubble.

Would you mind sharing your thoughts on the matter?

We think it is great either way, so I don't want anyone tovthink I am being judgmental.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

plentyofsoap · 10/08/2013 11:18

Surprise for the first then found out for the second. I wanted to prepare ds for the new baby. Plus I can buy baby girl clothes now

Alexandra6 · 10/08/2013 11:24

Oh I should have said, I will find out for the second if we're lucky enough to have two, for the same reasons as above!

Monka · 10/08/2013 11:51

I am due anyway now and we opted not to know. Makes it a bit more exciting for us to find out when baby finally decides to make an appearance. We have chosen a few names for either a boy or a girl but won't decide whats suitable until we meet baby. It's our first. I haven't seen anything by accident either as just been more focused on whether the baby is healthy and growing well at the scans.

MortifiedAdams · 10/08/2013 11:54

We didnt find out for the first, and I was quite insistant on that. This pregnancy, and DH wants to find out. His argument is that he has done the not knowing and knows how that feels, so wants to see what it is like when you do know.

I am happy to find out this time as last time I called the shots but a part of me secretly wants baby to be all curled up so we cant know.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 10/08/2013 11:58

We found out although my dp didn't want to know. I'm enjoying having a secret at the moment though; we know but no one else does! Will probably reveal all as I want my DD to know.

"chavvy" to find out? WTAF?

QueenoftheHolly · 10/08/2013 12:04

We kept it a surprise and it was a real extra element of joy on the day, like a birthday present!
We didn't care either way which I think is essential. If I'd had five boys & wanted a girl I may find out, not sure.

I love surprises though. Plus it felt kinda old fashioned.

MrMacadoo · 10/08/2013 12:07

I found out with the first as I really couldn't wait as I was so excited! I really wanted a girl and that's what we had. This time round I am not finding out as I would love either and want to experience the feeling of not knowing. No-one believes me though and thinks I will cave at the 20 week scan probably true! Was a lot easier when hospitals wouldn't tell you!

AppleYumYum · 10/08/2013 12:09

Chavvy??

With my first we found out, my dh wanted to know but I wasn't fussed, I I was still a bit wary of buying things till late on, but in the last few weeks of pregnancy buying boys clothes was fun and made it all much more real. I agree it is still a big surprise, every step of it especially the first time round, and as people above have said, you've never seen them before or held them. We were still arguing over the name at the birth, I'd hate to have been arguing over girls and boys names!

Pregnant with dc 2, think we'll find out because deep down I'd love one of each, of course a healthy baby is all I want, but secretly I think we all have our own thoughts deep down and I think I might be a little disappointed, but if I know then I'll be able to think of all the positives and how much fun my ds will have with a brother and that I already have all the clothes...

thisisyesterday · 10/08/2013 12:19

nope, i didn't find out with any of my 3.

i did start a thread about the same thing when I was pg with my 3rd. I had a LOT of responses.
100% of people who had not found out were glad they hadn't
99% of people who had found out were glad they had

a couple of people said that they found out and it was kind of an anti-climax just being told in a room by a sonographer. but they were a minority

posybunchof · 10/08/2013 12:20

I'd wait.. such a lovely surprise having an, er, surprise!

The feeling I had when I finally found out just after the birth was just amazing. I very nearly found out this time, but didn't and am glad. (though I think I saw boy bits on the scan - which are harder to miss - so it might not be as big a surprise this time!)

posybunchof · 10/08/2013 12:26

ps I think it depends on your personality though. If your gut feeling is to have a surprise, I think that's the right plan. But I know many people for whom it suited much more to find out (none of them remotely chavvy )

youcantplayonbrokenstrings · 10/08/2013 12:27

Didn't with DC1, did with DC2.

If I ever had a third I'd find out, I think.

youcantplayonbrokenstrings · 10/08/2013 12:29

I hate it when people are superior about not finding out, or judgey of people who do.

It's just a choice, not an extra gold star to get you into heaven.

Feelslikea1sttimer · 10/08/2013 12:29

I found out with my 1st that I was having a boy, I kept it as a surprise for my second and had a boy, both were equally lovely ways of doing it...

I am now pg with number 3 and I had the most overwhelming need to know, I wasn't bothered either way. I'd have been equally happy with boy or girl, but I just HAD to know, and we are having a little girl... And I love knowing and talking about my baby girl xxx

JustPanicking · 10/08/2013 12:31

I think if you're a Christmas present peeker you'll want to know, if you're not, you won't want to know. Simply a difference in personality.

VeryHappyMama · 10/08/2013 12:32

I found out first time by private scan because they won't tell you at the 20 week scan here. Have just found out what my next baby will be by amnio but would have got another private scan otherwise as I loved knowing the first time and I think DS likes knowing what baby will be he is looking forward to it too.

TwoTearsInABucket · 10/08/2013 12:34

Why is finding out chavvy? What a weird thing to say.

We found out each time. Expecting DC3 now and I am at 25 weeks.

We knew full well each time that the scan was to check for anomalies, rather than to find out the sex of the baby.

It was still a complete surprise to find out DC3 is a boy because I was so convinced he would be a girl. It was verrry obvious that he is a boy from the scan anyway. Also, I absolutely wanted to be able to choose a name well in time just so I could feel prepared.

I am crap at waiting, surprises give me a headache and it is only in my late 30s that I am remotely grown up about not finding out what my presents are...

slightlysoupstained · 10/08/2013 12:56

We forgot to ask

DP asked me on the way to the scan if I wanted to know, I said I didn't mind either way, and he said he felt the same. But during the scan we were so worried that something bad would turn up (we are both over forty) that we just didn't think about it till the scan was over.

Being an old biddy of 40, I had some more scans later on but by that time we'd kinda decided we liked not knowing. If I'd spotted a wee willy I don't think I'd have minded though.

It's such a personal thing, I don't think it makes sense to be judgy about it. Surprised that someone's midwives thought it was unusual not to know, think most people I know haven't known. (Or maybe they did but just didn't talk about it.)

Toohottohandle · 10/08/2013 13:01

Yes found out with both
Mainly so we could buy bits

Daffodill27 · 10/08/2013 13:04

I couldn't imagine not finding out! And I cannot see how it would spoil the moment you both first meet your baby. :)

Voodika · 10/08/2013 13:13

We didn't find out with any if our three.
I really really loved the surprise once they were born and the waiting to find out.
I think it is becoming quite unusual not to find out. I do wonder if people buy more stuff that they really need if they know the sex and get caught up in the blue/pink marketing. We just bought a few white things and as soon as they were born all the boy/girl presents arrived.

parttimer79 · 10/08/2013 14:04

Just panicking you are so right! I am a present peeker :) If the sonographer is correct my huge bump is a baby girl, I'll be sure to warn her that mummy and daddy are chavvy though

Catnap26 · 10/08/2013 14:09

Ok...we found out on both of ours HOWEVER...on our second we were told we were having a girl but guess what...it was a boy...luckily we had a scan a few weeks before he was born and it was clear as day it was definitely not a girl x

PinkParsnips · 10/08/2013 14:30

We haven't found out.

I read something the other day that said 75% of parents find out these days.

I think we'd probably find out next time just for practical reasons really, eg keeping clothes etc.

It did put me off a little that I know 2 people who were told it was a girl and went all out on girly bits only for a little boy to pop out!

Kelly1814 · 10/08/2013 14:35

Surprise for us, yes I read that 70% of people find out.

When I tell people we don't know they are usually aghast. Don't get it!

All this only bonding with the baby if you know the sex holds no weight with me.

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