PG after MC - Keeping the worries at bay with Posifrickingtivity!!

[Chocolateteabag]

New thread ladies!

Happy birthday for tomorrow Bod sounds like you have a lovely day lined up!
DH is looking after DS tomorrow so I can go for a trip into York and a mooch round the shops. First stop will be a child free latte in Betty's!

pixie daft question but is heat ok I always thought that you couldn't use heat when PG...dunno why? Maybe cos of the advice not to have hot baths or something?! My backs killing so heat would be fab there too!

oh that is true about hot baths isn't it... maybe I shouldn't have done that then! I didn't have the wheat bags super hot, just warm, but this was quite late in pregnancy, well after 30 weeks. I'm really not sure if it is ok then but I used to put them over my hip joints. Best check with your midwife first anyway!

Nah I asked my GP about hot baths during my first PG and she said it was nonsense. Obviously don't make them crazy hot, but it's fine, there was some study done of Swedish women or something who used hot tubs and saunas when PG and there was no affect on their babies.

Not sure about applying direct heat though.

pixie I would apply for the job and cross the bridge of telling them you're PG if you actually get offered the job.

They're not allowed to discriminate against pregnancy but it is too easy for them to make up another excuse for not giving you the job. At least if you have a job offer in writing, then tell them your PG it will be obvious discrimination if they retract it.

I think you are perfectly entitled to go for your dream job and it shouldn't matter that you are going to have a baby, this could be a long term job you love and do really well....

It is an HR job so in theory they should be totally non discriminatory... but my experience in other HR teams has shown me quite different in the past...

Also just found our a job for DH in the same team has come up, he is really keen to apply. This makes me less enthusiastic, I can't imagine working together I love him and all but I like having my own life and reputation at work! The roles would have zero interaction professionally but I think it would be annoying to be known as 'oh that's so and so's wife'. I still have to apply, too good an opportunity to miss, just plenty of complication. It's never straightforward is it!

Pixie no way would I tell them about pregnancy until offered the job! You can always ask your current employer if they would release you earlier rather than working the full 3 months notice? Best way I've seen it put, was that if you are the best candidate it's better to lose you for 12 months on maternity rather than have second best forever :)

Pixie -definitely don't tell them about being pregnant until you are offered job and then I would also wait till references sorted too incase they try an get out of it on some technicality like sick leave etc. You might want to check what maternity package you would be entitled to as well before you take but as you are hr more likely know more about that than we do x
Not sure I would want to work with my husband mind. See enough of him as it is!

Agh did totally stupid maths earlier, I would be 18 weeks (all being well) the week of the interview, so if my work insisted on 12 wks notice that would starting new job at 30 wks! which would mean no occupational maternity pay, just stat (I get really good mat pay where I am currently). I would only get occupational mat pay at new employer if work granted 6 weeks or less notice... They are quite unlikely to do that I think as my role will be difficult to replace for a variety of reasons. Still worth an application but looking a bit less viable

Also I think I would have to say I was pregnant at interview as I had a definite mini bump at that stage last time.

I still wouldn't tell them at interview (they are not allowed to ask!) I'm sure you could find some clothes to hide the bump.

As for working with DH, well there is NO WAY, I love my DH dearly but there is just no way we could work together.

My head feels pickled from trying to work it all out! I'm going to just put in an application and then worry about it if I get an interview!

Seems like I only get job opportunities when pregnant.. I went for my last interview at 34wks pregnant on crutches! that was for a different job in the same team I had been in for 3 years though so it wasn't at all awkward as they definitely already knew I was pregnant, it was impossible to miss

Hey pixie I work with my DH...we even sat next to each other for a while

We have always been in different parts of the same dept so never had to work with/for each other tho. It's brill being able to have a good old goss together abt everything and the social life was fantastic before DS was born we have made some really good friends so I would recommend it!

Pixie what a dilemma! What maternity leave would you get currently?

Scan was scheduled for tomorrow but after speaking with EPU this afternoon it's been put back until Monday. I started bleeding heavily today so I think I am, without any doubt, out. One day soon I will have a bundle of cells that wants to stick.

Best of luck ladies for happy and healthy mums and babies, thanks so much for all your kindnesses and I hope to be back here before too long xxxxx

myrtle I'm so sorry to hear that. I've really admired how calm and collected you have remained through the rollercoaster you've been on, I'm terribly sad for you that it has to end this way but I very much hope that one day soon as you say it will all work out. I hope your DP is looking after you xxx

Oh myrtle I'm so sad to read that, it's been really rough for you and you so deserve some better luck. Really hoping you're back here soon too.
Just trying to catch up on everyone's news, been away (with no Internet) for a week and I think I'm about 12 pages behind...! Congratulations to those with happy scan news, and wishing strength and patience to all in the tortuous 1st trimester countdown. Right, now to get down to some serious catching up...!

Oh myrtle I'm so so sorry. You've been so amazingly strong over the past few weeks with all the ups and downs you've been through. I really hope you're back here soon. look after yourself, sending you my love xx

Oh Myrtle that is absolute shite. Im so sorry. I am sure that you will get a sticky bean. Take care and be kind to yourself. x

I'm so sorry myrtle, life is a complete b
I hope you will get your sticky bean

Oh myrtle I'm so sorry to hear that. Take time to grieve your loss and be very kind to yourself. Fingers crossed next pregnancy happens quickly and is a boring sticky non eventful one.

I have my first scan this morn and expecting the worst. Ugh. Scan doom. Hence lying awake here since 5.30am

So sorry myrtle - life is just so cruel sometimes.

Good luck with your scan today omri. Remember that just because you think it has all gone wrong, doesn't mean it has. I sincerely hope you have a pleasant surprise.

shell what is PGP? Sounds uncomfortable.
I've been a NY fan since I was a child and still love him. I was sceptical about Psychedelic Pill, but love it and have played it to death.

Well done on ditching the temping birds - it must be counter-productive after a while. I had to be told to stop going to the clinic to get beta hcg levels after I got a bit hooked on it!

How was the David Bowie exhibition pentagon? Did DD behave?

Thanks for all messages of support and encouragement. The midwife did not think the AF type cramps or spotting (actually more like light beige discharge, sorry) were anything to worry about. They both seem to have stopped now, but in place of that, my breasts don't seem to be tender anymore, so that is scaring me now. I will try to keep calm until my next scan on the 21st August, but it is so hard.

Myrtle in so sorry to hear that, was really hoping this was the one for you I'm sure you'll be back with us soon.
Ormi - try not to get too stressed, I am sure baby will be fine. What time is your scan? Is DP going with you?

Thanks motorcycle.
Christine, yep dp coming in with me. He's being v philosophical about it all- which is driving me crazy!! Lol. I suppose if he was all doom and gloom about it that would drive me crazy too though! It's at 11.15.

It's our ds's 2nd birthday today. My niece not able to babysit this morn at last minute so will have to bring ds in with us- do u think that'll be ok? He's a very good boy and will just sit on dp's lap quietly... Hope the nurse is ok with that.

Myrtle so very sad to read your update. I'm sending you a massive sticky bean vibe for the next one wrapped up in a hug. Hope to see you back here as soon as you are ready xxx

Omri DD had to come with us to an 8 wk and 12 wk scan, she does not sit quietly, I ended up singing the okey kokey or something like that whilst mid scan. Sonographer was a bit misog tbh but hey ho, if you've been let down there is nothing you can do about it. Where I live children are not allowed to go to 20wk scan as its more in depth but it's ok at earlier ones. Good luck, will be thinking of you at 11:15 x

Very sorry Myrtle.

Good luck today Omri.

Motor, glad spotting has settled and MW wasn't worried. I've been poking my boobs last night and this morning. No tenderness at all, very sore before. Torturous isn't it?! I guess I better stop prodding or they will get tender again!

Good luck today Omri! How far along are you? I haven't had to take DS to my early scans but have seen other people do it while I've been there and not had a problem even though officially you are told (at my hospital) no kids in the scan room. I think so long as you are nice and apologise they won't say anything!

Goodluck today omri xx

Fx for you today omri xx