PG after MC - posifrickentivity, hand holding, and smelly gush.

[IBelieveInPink]

Thread for ladies who are freaking out panicking slightly when preggy after miscarriage.
Plenty of oldies. Newbies always welcome.

Thanks all, it was a lovely thing to do, she was a very special woman and meant a huge amount to many people. It is, of course, wonderful to know how well regarded she was professionally as well as by her friends and family but it just makes me feel even more sad at the enormous waste of life and potential. She did more in her 58 years than most people will ever hope to achieve and I am immeausurably proud of her and to be her daughter, I just miss her so much and I'm desperately sad that my second daughter will never meet her.

black hurray for your NT results! You must be so relieved!

pink sorry you had such a crap day and are missing your DH....big hugs!

Hi ladies, is it ok to join you? Just got bpf this week after mmc the end of march. I don't feel I can tell anyone in rl apart from DH (cant stand the weight of others expectations iykwim) but would dearly love to have somewhere to talk about it!

So far I have been very excited then very convinced it will all go the same way. Trying to just think one week at a time. I feel incredibly lucky to fall so soon again but can't presume it'll result in an actual baby.

To compensate for anxiety I am eating a lot of chocolate

I have a dd 2.5 already. A further complication is that when pg I get hip/pelvic pain so that also takes the edge off the joy a bit. I had it from 28 wks in first pregnancy and was on crutches for the remainder of the pregnancy, 5 wks through to discovering mmc at 13 wks last time. Twinges already at 4+2. BUT I am determined to see this pain as a good sign (even though it wasn't really last time ) and just remain as positive as humanly possible!

bump that's so hard to lose your mum at just 58, you must miss her so much.

pink hugs. Have you decided on a finish date and started the countdown yet? In my job before having dd (which I actually liked most of the time) it was so good on the rubbish days to think 'ha! Only 12 weeks left of this, suckers!'

shell congratulations on your scan

That's interesting so many of you have had comments about not being able to carry boys, mil said it to me and I took it really badly at the time as a stupid old wives' tale (she was a nightmare through the mc, kept banging on about would I need a d&c and wanting all the gory details, then saying if we got s move on we could still have a baby before christmas... she is lovely and we get on great but I could have thumped her for a while!).

I think I've felt the baby move a few times now, very subtle feelings, and the bump is definitely getting bigger. Still waiting for 20w scan date, should be about 3 weeks time. Got all excited to get home to a letter from the hospital but was the vbac clinic appointment - don't want to think that far ahead yet!

bump you've made me well up...your mother sounds like a remarkable woman.

welcome pixie and congratulations on your BFP! We all know exactly how you feel, having been there once or twice! (personally twice - 2 MMCs but I also have a 2.5 DD) I'm sorry to hear about the hip/pelvic pain - it sounds unbearable! But having a child makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it? I hope you're feeling OK and getting an early scan!

DIY how wonderful that you've felt the baby move - yay!

Thanks for the support ladies, as always. Lovely having you here to chat to.

DIY - yes I most definitely have started a countdown! 81 working days to be exact :)
Fab news on you feeling baby move!

Hi pixie, congratulations, nice to have you here.

Aw pink sorry you had such a shitty day in work. It's been a complete melter of a week at my work this week. With the sitting j had, I'm putting it down to a full moon. Next week is going to be awesome (see the posifrickintivity). Ryan gosling helped me...just saying

Hi pixie! Congrats!! Welcome aboard :)

I had THE most disgusting Chinese takeaway for dinner, threw it out half way through and now I'm starving. Hmmm...

*with the spotting I had ..darn phone

Thank you pentagon - yes it is a relief. For some reason I was really worried about it xxx

Bump - so very sorry about your Mum. I'd imagine being pregnant makes you miss her more but I hope her colleagues doing that made you proud.

Shell - fab news re your scan, yay!

Pink - hope you ate lots of chocolate last night while cursing your colleagues. Sorry you had a rubbish day when your DH wasn't around :-(

Pixie - hello and congratulations!

Happy weekend everyone x

Thanks for the welcome ladies :)

Bump I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.

Pentagon - I haven't even been to the Dr yet... I wasn't sure what route to go down, Dr and push for an early scan or just wait for mw appointment. Our last baby stopped growing at 8/9 wks according to the scan so a very early scan wouldn't give me any peace of mind but I would like to have one earlier than the usual 12+ wks for a 2nd pregnancy, it was so hard getting to 13wks and then finding out last time. I might book in to see the gp next week and see if they'll let me have a scan at 10/11 wks.

Hope you all have lovely weekends :)

Hello & welcome pixie, congratulations on your pregnancy
I hope you get the earlier scan that you require, and niggles can be just that, i have them all the time & even after 2 scans i still worry think it's only natural. I have been told by my mw that it's my uterus stretching.

Trying to not freak out about my strange scan pictures, yes there is more than one and in each baby is in different position with what looks like another face by his or her feet-must be where they took the pictures too fast and may be an illusion of some kind!

Booked myself in to ultrababy ultrasound for a 17wk sexing scan with sneak preview in 3d, as i cannot relax in between scans & i get to find out pink or blue a good few weeks earlier than i would with nhs. My area normally does anomally between 21-23 weeks, theres no way i could wait to see if all is ok. Already kacking myself, thought my 10.6wk & 12.4wk scans would re-assure but sadly i cannot be confident all will stay well!

Hello ladies can I join you please? I've followed guff & rock from the ttc thread. I had a mmc in April. Found baby had died at 7 wks at my 12 wk scan. I have one DD age 2.

I'm now coming up to 7wks again so quite worried. Somehow after a mmc not having mc symptoms doesn't reassure. I've got a scan bkd for wed and trying not to think about it. So hope for gd news and a hb but fear the worst.

Any advice for surviving these early weeks & does the worry ever fade?

Hey welcome pixie and alice! Brilliant to have so many new people here, you're definitely in the right place, this thread has been so good for my sanity (so nice to talk to other people who really understand).

alice for me the early weeks were definitely the worst. I felt a little better after a scan at 7 weeks, then a lot better after the 12w scan, but til then was a complete basket case of worry and being convinced it was all going wrong again. This thread helped lots, as did keeping as busy as I could to make the time pass faster...

Hope everyone's been enjoying the sun, I've been out gardening today and marvelling at having some energy back (and no migraines for 2 weeks now - woop woop!). I'm also eating like a horse, am suddenly sooo hungry - thankfully am now craving relatively healthy stuff so don't feel so bad about pigging out.

Hi alice, pixie and guff - congratulations!

Alice honestly, the beginning was the worst. I had a scan at the EPU at 7+4, then a private scan at 10+5, then my '12w' scan at 13+5. Time went very very slowly. I'm now 29+4 and I'm only just getting to the point where I'm having to think about how many weeks I am. I think I'm somewhat unusual in that I'm still very very anxious - I told myself after each milestone I'd start buying things but each time found I couldn't let myself. I'm having twins though, so am 'high risk' which I think is why I'm still so reluctant to accept everything will be okay - I'm twice as likely to have a stillbirth for example.

After 20w I was infinitely better though - I started to feel them both regularly and that made a massive difference.

However, we're all here to get you through the next few weeks - between us we've been through it all and are still pregnant

Thanks anda and diy. It's great to hear from people who have gone through these early wks. Time really drags when you worry.

Wow - twins! Very exciting. Understand it's more worrying as higher risk but fingers crossed double the joy at the end.

I'm not really thinking beyond wed. Attempting to potty training my DD at the mo which is pretty disastrous but taking my mind off things!!

Yay Alice didn't know you had got your BFP too!!

Hi Alice and congratulations :-)

Ok self absorbed rant time from my hospital cell....

Midwife and healthcare assistant were in my room today and midwife was reassuring me that, 'don't worry, we get lots of high risk placenta previa ladies in here and it's tough for them waiting it out in here worrying but they always go home with lovely babies at the end of it'......to which the healthcare assistant added something along the lines of 'well, just to be clear no one can ever guarantee that it'll be ok in the end, we don't like to give out false promises love'!

Now I know that she's speaking the truth but I'm into my 4th week of being in here worrying about having a big bleed and me/baby not making it (irrational cos that outcome is very rare according to the doctors) but I don't need to hear that!! Is it me or is that very insensitive?! Anyone else been driven mad by medical/hospital staff insensitivity sometimes when you just needed reassurance?! Grrrrrrrrr.

That's very insensitive jessjess, it's very wrong when medical staff say things so loud we can hear, it sets alarm bells ringing and makes us worry. It's very unproffessional!

Toxic Mil now knows, all she can do is moan about my edd, fgs she's one harsh bitch at times!- when i myself can't even think of my edd yet, i just want to get by week by week as i don't want to tempt fate by talk of due dates let alone mil moaning as she doesn't want anymore january born in her family-i hate her

jess that's incredibly insensitive. I actually think quite a lot of professionals who regularly deal with women who are likely to be sensitive in pregnancy /during mc to be not that thoughtful of our feelings.

I hope you're doing okay despite. How much longer have you got to wait?

Yes hi rock nice that we're both here. I hope I remembered to congratulate you on the ttc thread when I was still lurking but if not big congratulations

pumpkin I can certainly share the moans about mils. When my DD was very overdue she told me it was an anticlimax! Not how I saw the birth of my 1st child! I can't believe anyone would make comments about edd esp after what you've gone through.

jess ignore the stupid healthcare assistant, saying that was completely unnecessary. Good job the midwives are more sympathetic! How much longer have you got to wait?

pumpkin your mil sounds awful!

alice we're doing potty training too, I feel your pain. Actually dd's doing pretty well (we're 2 weeks in) but as for the poo situation... (shudder!)

Thanks all. Going to give her a wide berth and avoid chit chat from now on - her no nonsense approach is not reassuring!

God Pumpkin your MIL sounds horrible :-( As if she's grumbling about when you might be due! She should be happy for you and her son that after a previous loss, you're now pregnant again. Completely understand the week by week approach, I was the same this time after our loss. Even now in 3rd trim, i take it week by week and compared to people I know, I'm not taking anything for granted till the baby actually appears. My colleagues who hadn't had MCs were talking about schools, catchment areas, the childrens whole lives etc by this late stage..i just want to make it to and then through the birth.

Alice and Diy - section is scheduled for a week on Weds (10th) if my placenta behaves and we don't have a bleed + an emergency section before that. 37 weeks/full term tomorrow fingers crossed, so that will feel like a milestone compared to when was first diagnosed and when an emergency c sec would have meant quite a premature baby.

Hope you're all having a nice Sat night x

That's a good day for a birthday . Brilliant you've got so far, you deserve a medal for all that time in hospital, I thought 4 days was bad, I'm so going to remember you if I'm complaining about being kept in this time round!

jess I can see they don't want to make false promises, but sometimes you just need a bit of reassurance!

shell if you were proud of me over the cots you'll be extra proud today - travel system ordered - Bugaboo Donkey with lovely jewel blue fabric (I don't care that bloody K-Mid has allegedly got the same on a chameleon, I saw it first...), car seats and the bases. It's being delivered to my parents', and DH did the actual ordering, but this feels like progress