Most unhelpful unsolicited advice/comments while pregnant competition

[fanjobiscuits]

Went shopping today and am due in about a month. Only visited two places. Person behind first till decided to tell me how she could still remember the terrible pain of labour from 18 years ago. Person behind second till told me once I had the baby I would never go back to work. Riiiight.

Went out briefly at the weekend and some random posh-looking woman in the street shouted 'oh my God you're enormous'. Fortunately I don't have body issues but I can imagine some people would have gone home and sobbed.

Who else wants to play? What shall we have as a prize for the winner?

A genuinely nice collegue called me Miss Fattie and asked what I'd do if my waters broke at work, and wouldn't it look like I'd wee'd myself? I thought my enormous bump and contractions would probably explain the puddle!

First pg -
Boss - are you pleased about it?
Me - erm, yes
Boss - oh, how old are you?
Me - I'm 30
Boss - ohhhh, well I can see why you're getting on with it then
Me -

and

colleague - How long are you having off work?
Me - I'm not sure yet
colleague - yes, I suppose you don't know if you'll bond with the baby
Me -

Second pg -

My mom told me I looked like a beached whale yesterday

I was a 10 pre pregnancy and have put on a not so unreasonable 7lbs by 21 weeks - I don't think whale like is that accurate!

Why do people ALWAYS comment on weight?!

Dm. .. What's wrong?
Me. ... I've got piles and they hurt.
Dm.... ha good. That's divine retribution for the one's you gave me! !!!!
Me. ...

DMIL - Your breast milk will make your DS weaker and less intelligent. And a mother's milk loses all nutritional value when the baby is 6 months.

DM - You should feed your newborn DS only at 4 hour intervals.

DMIL - In our days we never had such rubbish ailments as we were so physically fit - mopping floors, hand washing clothes etc. (while I was on a drip to counter Hyperemesis gravidarum)

Ex-Boss - Don't announce your pregnancy just yet. You never know if you will be able to carry it all the way through (when I revealed my pregnancy at 4 months to her)

DH - Here, have some ginger biscuits (after every time I vomited)

And DMIL again - Always give your DS at least 1 formula bottle a day so that you can be assured that he is not going hungry.

We arrived at the hospital when I was in advanced labour. Unfortunately, so was everyone else, seemingly- and there wasn't anywhere for me to go except the public waiting room at the entrance.

I couldn't sit during contractions; couldn't bear to do anything but kneel, bracing my forearms on a chair.

Well-meaning woman wanders up to me, and asks 'are you in labour, do you think?'.

'Bloody well hope so' (through a mouthful of powdered teeth)

'Ah. Well, you'll know when it's coming because' (looks about furtively) it starts to really BURN down there (gesticulates downwards with flapping hand).

'Um. Thanks?'

After being asked for the zillionith time if I were having a boy or girl,I became adept at smiling brightly and answering " I hope so!"
When pregnant at 42 with my DD, I had numerous people ask me if the pregnancy was "natural" or did I need fertility assistance!

I had a random drunken man shout at me in the street (8months gone) "nobody's going to touch you with a barge pole now love, you're damaged goods!" I was walking with my DH at the time

'Did you not think about going to university before you got yourself pregnant?'

'Yes, im 28, I graduated 7 years ago, and my husband got me pregnant thanks.'

Definitelynomore....... You shouldn't eat liquorice when pregnant........google it.

When I couldn't keep food down due to morning sickness, one of my friends told me I looked awful. Thanks for that....that makes me feel a lot better!

When in labour with my 3rd, we got to the hospital and the midwife told me I wasn't in labour as I was still smiling. Ds was born 40 minutes later.

Is it mine. Said by my normally tactful husband of 11 years with no history or hint of any infidelity on announcement of the news after he had treatment to make it happen.

And the ginger comments make me want to punch people perhaps they should put ginger in my drip and after having HG with every pregnancy I should surgest it as clearly its a miracle cure.

But I will confess a uncontrollable compulsion to say to every pregnant woman I meet "don't listen to the horror stories there mostly rubbish" and I can't stop myself doing it.

I think this thread is indicative of a much wider problem of PG bodies being public property. It was only during PG that people felt able and entitled to comment on my body, my eating habits, my routines, my entire life. I don't think many people would do that to a non-PG woman.

Anyway, when I was PG 8 years ago, almost everyday my mum would end our phone conversations with 'be careful you don't fall over'. No idea why, I hadn't fallen over since I was about 10 and I didn't travel to and from work on stilts. I know it sounds petty and she was only concerned for me but it used to get right on my nerves.

When I was about 20 weeks I went swimming with my best friend. Before we got in the pool, she went 'you're not gonna piss in here are you?' I absolutely love her because she just has this knack of saying whatever comes to her mind without any filters at all. I'm used to her by now but she does offend many many people!

About labour/birth: You do realise it is going to be agony - not zen and candles.

This coming from a friend who's not had kids....
I was fuming

I have been told that because my DH and I havent gone to parent classes that we will be bad parents and thats the reason why kids these days are criminals. When the same person found out that I didnt want to go to breast feeding workshop (i feel uncomfortable discussing this with strangers) I was told that I was going to be a bad mother and she didnt know why I was having a child if I didnt care about it.

I could of smacked her one. :( ITts always a boost when your 8 months pregnant and feel proper crappy then someone tells you what a bad mother your going to make.

I'm currently 20 weeks and have a very neat bump that is only really noticable if I am wearing something tight. Cue everyone and their grannie saying 'are you sure there is anything in there?'. Yeah, thanks, just what I need to hear after a missed miscarriage last year.

"you aren't ill, you are just pregnant so you have to do the same work as your colleagues"

On announcing to some friends that I was pregnant with my first child: 'Are you going to keep it?' errmmm yes!

Visiting my mother at approx. 31 weeks - 'you better not put on any more weight' Mum - I AM PREGNANT, 2 - I had put on 21 pounds in that time and have been told on several occasions that I am 'all bump' plus there is a history of big babies in my family even though we are mostly quite petite - I am putting on weight get over it!

Health Worker - 'Do you know who the father is?' didn't even want to dignify that with an answer (for info yes I do know and we are married!)

Wickedgirl and definitelynomore - the NHS does NOT advise avoiding liquorice in pregnancy. Hth more than google!

OO now I am on a roll with the ranting I can think of another...

after announcing that I am expecting a boy to a colleague at work: 'Oh, you wanted a girl though didn't you?' - How a colleague I barely speak to have gathered that much information I do not know! For the record - I was secretly hoping for a boy and am chuffed to bits, don't think I ever gave the impression either way - oh well some people do just like to try and get a rise out of you I guess!

@Stinkingbishop
"at least if one dies, you've still got a baby left"

How unbelievable terrible that someone had the guts to say that to you!!!
I've read some terrible things over here. But I think you're the winner.

That's really so terrible that you had to hear someone saying that to you.

What on earth are people thinking???
I think that almost every pregnant lady hears stupid stuff during their pregnancy. And probably also when we've our baby's.

Where's this coming from? How can people be so stupid?

syl1985
I know...trying to be charitable though, I guess twin pregnancies are more dangerous, and in their cackhanded way they thought they were being kind...

Also pretty much everyone said something to the effect of 'oo, was IVF awful?' to the extent I wanted to print T shirts with '100% natural, thank you very much, don't really want to discuss my sex life and fertility, unless you want to share?'

'You're ready to drop' shouted by builders from about 6 months...

I could go on. There's a lady who does a blog called 101stupidthings that people say about twins which is therapeutic!

Don't even get me started on my first pregnancy though. I was just about to do Finals at Oxford. Told my very straight-laced DGPs first who were awesome and I will never forget that the first word out of Granny's mouth was 'congratulations'. My DGF later referred to my DS in his funeral eulogy for DGM as 'the jewel in her crown'.

DM though wanted to send me to a Glaswegian convent for unmarried mothers, where the baby would then be sent away. DS is now 19, a straight A* student now at Uni, I still got a Double First and I think have done OK in life, ran a London ad agency et al...she's repeatedly refused to apologise. The last time I asked her, getting her to agree that I had been right and DS and I had turned out OK, she refused and I asked her to leave. Immature, but I just can't get how she thinks my life would have been 'better' had I not had him. And I don't think she can be the best DGM if she views my DS as a mistake.

Arrgghhhh. Years of therapy. Remember lessons. You can't change people. Blah blah blah

There was a professor who congratulated me and asked if I'd reached "the bovine stage yet". He then went on to describe this. Had it not been a phone conversation I'd have turned into a mad cow and flattened him.

My mother seems to think it's acceptable to ask anyone who is pregnant through IVF whether it's their husband's (in her mind IVF = donor sperm). One of these days she's going to make someone cry and then finally, perhaps, she'll see why I've said that's not a helpful comment and why can't the first thing out of her mouth in those circs be "congratulations!", or "how lovely!" instead.