Most unhelpful unsolicited advice/comments while pregnant competition

[fanjobiscuits]

Went shopping today and am due in about a month. Only visited two places. Person behind first till decided to tell me how she could still remember the terrible pain of labour from 18 years ago. Person behind second till told me once I had the baby I would never go back to work. Riiiight.

Went out briefly at the weekend and some random posh-looking woman in the street shouted 'oh my God you're enormous'. Fortunately I don't have body issues but I can imagine some people would have gone home and sobbed.

Who else wants to play? What shall we have as a prize for the winner?

[amazingmumof6]

fruminous

I don't have to pretend

[LittleIllusionMachine]

I was telling (now) ex-colleague about my HG and how it effected my daily life as it was so extreme.

She said: "I bet you wish you didn't open your legs now!"

No smile or laugh. The bitch also made it impossible for me to return after maternity leave and I had to switch depts and jobs in order to stay with the company. I truly hate that cunt.

[2Labradors]

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and was asked 'are you sure it's not twins?' today. This person had her 3rd child too not long ago and we've even had a previous conversation about how quickly you show 3rd time round, madness!

Expecting more of those comments along the way.

[FruminousBandersnatch]

:)

[MrsMangoBiscuit]

Yes! I have. I've told people "I'm not pregnant, I just like cake." The key is to keep your face straight while you do.

[FruminousBandersnatch]

I know it's really mean but does anyone else pretend they're not pregnant, just fat, when a stranger asks when you're baby's due?

[cakebaby]

Whoops, stupid phone grrr

When I first announced my August due dc, many comments about bad planning/schooling issues etc, ffs I'm not 25, I didn't expect to be upduffed after 2 myths ttc! Who cares anyway? Then it was 'oh was it planned?' like its any of your business? This week it's been 'oh you must be SO hot, just wait til August' whilst grinning/laughing smugly. I'm going to punch the next one

[cakebaby]

When i first announced my August due dc, i had cRecently I've

[Buswanker]

Five people today have said 'you look tired'
One person today has said ' you look like shit'
I guess I don't look like I am blooming then and I probably look like a week old baked potato. Don't really need anyone to keep reminding me.

[Discolite]

I was asked "Is it planned?" by two separate wedding dress shop saleswomen.

Maybe having a wedding and a 22 week old baby is madness but yes, we did plan it this way actually! I just don't think they realise how rude the question is. And actually, even though it's tough having a baby and wedding planning at the same time I think that it would be harder if I was still working full time.

I bought a dress from a lovely shop who didn't make any comments when I showed up at six months pregnant to order it and were delighted to meet my baby when I returned to pick it up!

[mmmerangue]

Curry and Sex,

All anyone talks about in the last month is Curry and Sex Get That Baby Out! (DS was 5 days early, not even in 40+ weeks!)

(Your fingering thing made me remember how much that irked me, syl eww on your behalf, and there was no way I was having sex while that pregnant, or eating a bowl of hot heartburn.)

[spondulix]

"So, if you're 5 weeks it meant your period was on 13 April?" from MIL. How odd is that?! Who wants to know shit like that, let alone work it out.

That reminds me of the time DH and I went to a party when I was pregnant. One of our friends asked us the due date and we told him and he said "So that means you guys were getting jiggy on ... let's see [starts counting on fingers]". I didn't know where to look!

[syl1985]

@mmmeranque

"Labour doesn't really hurt, it's all in the mind, just breathe through it."

I nearly forgot, but I had a similar comment too with my first pregnancy.
This came from my very own mother.

More things she said during my first pregnancy.

I was being lazy.
I was having a lot of health problems during my first pregnancy and my midwife told me to stop working. At home I wasn't allowed to do a lot.

Then it's so nice to hear your very own mother say that I was being lazy.
Yeah sure, I really enjoyed feeling sick all the time!??!?!?! NOT!!!

To make labour easier and quicker for me my partner had to finger me during the start of the delivery.

First of all like I'd be even remotely interested in any sexual activity during my delivery.

She kept on saying that to me. Every time she said that it just turned my stomach around. Like I want to talk with my mum about fingering my .... Let alone hear her giving that advice to my partner to do that during labour.

Other family members told me I was going to get a lot of stitches down there. Because you're small, so you must be small down there too.

I was like: That's none of your business!!!
After birth I didn't need any stitches at all and all my kids were really big baby's.

[mmmerangue]

"Labour doesn't really hurt, it's all in the mind, just breathe through it."

Have to say I had a fairly easy labour that didn't hurt as much as I expected, but it was NOT 'pain-free' and at 30ish weeks I was torn between laughing in her face and telling her to fuck off...

[fryingpantoface]

I've had

"You're always pregnant" and "That was quick" from a work colleague. Apparently the mmc in Oct doesn't count. Idiot.

"So, if you're 5 weeks it meant your period was on 13 April?" from MIL. How odd is that?! Who wants to know shit like that, let alone work it out. Obviously that comment was some time ago

[Panda247]

When my DS was 10 days old my neighbour (guy) asked: so when is the baby due? I have to point out that I was back in my pre-preg size 12 jeans...

[silverten]

On a slightly related note: MIL on being informed of my second pregnancy-

'Oh, yes, we all knew you were pregnant because you weren't drinking at the wedding'

Well, thanks very much for pissing all over that news then. A 'congratulations' wasn't one of your first thoughts? ? Never mind the fact that I personally don't think it's especially stylish to be drunk in charge of a minor, particularly at a venue which borders an unfenced river, despite some people seeming to think that being mashed whilst looking after their babies is all a hilarious game... or that DD was pretty overwrought with all the excitement and our main aim was to make sure she didn't spoil the happy couple's day by having a meltdown in the middle of something picturesque. And if it was so bloody obvious I was up the duff, it would have been nice if it'd crossed your mind to, perhaps, give us a bit of a hand with the child-wrangling for a few minutes, what with me feeling sick and tired all the bloody time?

Aaaaaand, relax...

[moonmanic]

I was asked by a woman at work who I did'nt know at all well whether my pregnancy was the product of a one night stand (?!). It was all quite random in the kitchen making a cuppa. I was like, err.. nooo - I have a partner thanks.

[amazingmumof6]

oops, missed out a bit - I was going to say:

we have 6 kids now, and yes it is hard, but I love having a big family!

[amazingmumof6]

when my 5th pg ended in a MC, my supposedly best friend's comment was : "oh, I'm actually glad this pg didn't work out, it would have been so hard looking after 5 kids!"


we have 6 kids now, and yes it is hard, but despite this person being godmother to one of our children I no longer consider her my friend

(I'm still heartbroken about loosing that baby, she'd be four and I miss her every day )

[pocopearl]

I got one from bro in law, are you hoping its a boy, because if its a girl are you worried it will look like dh and be a girl. wtf?

[beginnings]

"oh so you want a boy then" DC1 is a DD

don't mind either way.

"Really??"

Really.

[beginnings]

There'll only be 16 mos between DC1 and DC2 so I have had:

"have you not worked out how it happens yet?"
"My word, you're constantly pregnant"
"Blimey, you're big, are you sure there's only one?"

In terms of advice, someone asked me worriedly, "How are you certain those Clexane injections aren't hurting the baby." and then gave me a cats' bum mouth when I explained that, thank you for the compliment, but I had enough covering for that not to be an issue!!

My own Mum is quite good about pregnancy, it's the advice afterwards that drives me crazy. Added to which my SIL's advice about pregnancy, birth and babies is irritating. My MIL response to every "no thank you" is "sigh, it's a miracle I managed to raise six kids." Well done you. I still don't think that white chocolate which is full of rubbish is a suitable snack for a 7mo old. If you wanted to give her 70% dark chocolate, I'd probably think that was a bit better so long as I can have some too

[amazingmumof6]

"was this pg planned?" from GP. code for "are you keeping baby?"
WTAF???
That's way beyond unhelpful. that is the most disgusting, outrageous & evil thing I ever heard from a health professional!

[notsoold]

When pg with dd ( dc1)..."what if she looks like you??" I am not that ugly!!!
When dd was born and was much paler than me ( I am mixed race)...." Is she REALLY your daughter???

When pg with ds ( dc2) said by dsil " hope he is not as ugly as my brother "( dh) also not that ugly!!!

Ds born and looking like me and pp said..".is ds your husbands son???"

This pg....can you afford it??? We both have good jobs / house etc... Said by dsil
Dsil " gosh aren't you too old?"

Said by ds ( almost 14) and dd ( almost 19) " you guys had sex??? " :)

Said my ds few weeks later....you know mum, don't worry if people think you look 42...you never looked prettier !!!

Dh when told about pg " I got super sperm!!!" Lol