Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Hi all- stupidly busy week at work but no disasters thank god. Now have feet up with bottle of no alcohol beer! Whoop!

expat so pleased you have got to 28 weeks. If you don't mind me Asking, why has your dr said you need a CS this time?

dildals I admire your thoroughness with the doctor. I think I must be glowing as well if that is a nice way of saying a bit flushed all the time. How is your SPD?

shazza my DH and I definitely have less time and energy for each other since DS born and I don't feel as passionately for him because my love for DS takes up some of that emotional capacity. But on the other hand, having children together is fantastically bonding and fun. We have been together for 15 years so the single minded ness probably would have diminished anyway. However since having DS we treasure time together in our own that much more.

buzzy gin mrs sweetie- hello!

I am busy weekends of 20th, 27th, 3rd and 10th! sorry! But don't let me stop you from meeting. I don't usually have such a packed calendar.

Sweetie definitely go and get measured. You will be surprised at whet size they will give you. Also they advise no underwires after a while so it's worth going. At first I had room to grow but my boobs are getting bigger now so the bras are being filled out abit more.

Thanks for all your encouragement about relationships. I am looking forward to all the things you say. Like expat I also have romantic ideas about what it will be like. Part of me is just being selfish. Also like you fairy things are already changing through being together for a few years so I guess it's a natural progression.

We have some friends/family who look harassed and strained with each other all the time and I just don't want that. I hope to try to remember to be patient and that we love each other even if things are tested for a while. Then again we have other friends who have 1 DC who clearly love being altogether and have a great time as a little family. I try to think of them and not the harassed ones.

But being harassed is often just the way things are and it doesn't mean you always feel like that. I suppose I mean that it shouldn't be seen as a sign that things are going wrong. As fairy said, having a child together is very bonding, there's only the two of you that love that child in the same way and find your child endlessly fascinating and hilarious. You'll be fine!

Sweetie - I've PM'd you my precise coordinates. We could be near neighbours depending on where you are.

Finally, ELCS is fine. Strange but fine. The recovery is tough for 2 weeks but no worse than a recovery from episiotomy.

Hi lovelies. Had a right old couple of days...had some seriously strong twingy pains on Wed so started panicking. Got sent to the GP who then referred me on to EPU (although bizarrely at a different hospital to where I am being treated). Long story short...all is well. They were both bouncing around and kicking and waving and all sorts, cried all the way through. 11wks today so should be getting there but just can't shake The Fear yet, not sure I ever will!

mrsHY ms is still here and pretty rubbish. I have had a little more energy lately which has been great but the sickness is a real pain in the foof at the moment, particularly when I'm being sick at work.

shazza and mariana yes I am oop North, in the fields somewhere between Nottingham and Sheffield! I am a bit scared of That London if I'm honest. I'm taking some students down for a huge competition thing in a few weeks and they are laughing at me because I refuse to get on the tube. I just don't like the idea of a rabbit warren under a city full of trains, eek! I have always been a bit of a country bumpkin though, I do like cities, just not ones that a too big to walk out of within an hour or so!

expat I had loads of those pains all through my last pg. I think they are just the days where everything stretches and gets squished. Strange not to associate them with a period though isn't it? I'm sure you aren't huge...have you reached the knicker-lassoing stage yet?

Isn't it wierd that we don't know what we all look like?! I talk about you all to DH regularly, but have no clue who anyone is. I might even walk past one of you in That London (although unlikely, I know!) Kind of cool really I think.

Buzzy how are you doing my love? X

Hi girls I'm on the eggcellent eggs thread so I recognise some of the names here :)

I'm due to start in about 4 weeks, is there anything I should be doing now to help? I think I eat fairly healthily, I've been drinking lots of water, switched to decaf, running twice a week. We're both on the conception vits. Don't drink during the week but have a couple of glasses of white wine on a Friday night - but not every Friday. OH has a few beers, maybe 4-5 pints but again not every Friday. We don't drink every week.

What do you think?

We're both 34, I've got the all clear, OH has a few sperm issues - sluggish and low morphology that didn't improve eve after 3 months of no drinking :(

Any tips gratefully received.

Scary stuff Crisps but I'm glad you were reassured. The pain thing is tricky as everybody surely gets some pain and I had some quite alarming twinges at times, but nobody warns you of it beforehand. One good tip a doctor told me was that if it doesn't ease off when you lie down and rest, see someone about it. I wonder if twin pregnancies generate more pain due to greater stretching etc.

Hello twinklestar, you sound eminently healthy to me. The only thing I would add is look after your mental health (ironic I know, seeing as there's non stop mentalling on this thread!) Find a good anxiety management method to use, even if it's just playing Tetris on your phone.

I decided to make the 5am feed more tolerable by bringing a flask of tea to bed with me at night. Definitely a good idea but now I want toast too. Maybe I'll have to hide a marmalade sandwich under my pillow?

crisps sorry about the MS it is a truly rotten experience. Mine got a lot better around 11 weeks so I hope you will see improvement soon.

I am not so keen on cities either as I grew up in the countryside. I go to London at least once a month for work and that's enough for me.

twinkle DH had not so good morphology (5%) and started eating a couple of handfuls of walnuts a day before we had IVF. Could be entirely circumstantial but I did fall pregnant and I am now almost 23 weeks. Getting him to eat them was a lot easier than getting him to stop drinking.

morning ladies

crisps glad things are ok, its frightening though

sweets sorry about the MS

so i've has a migraine for 3 days and cracked this morning and took an imigran as neurologist said I could now I feel guilty and think i'm going to kill my baby with it, irrational I know

I just couldn't cope with migraine and constant MS, I don't know what to do about the sickness, i'm in bed with a plaster over my belly button and my travel sickness bands on all ready for wimbledon the tablets the gp gave me don't really help, I feel sick from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, i'm now rretching a lot more too, it did make DH jump out of bed this moorning clearly he is not keen on the idea of me thowing up on him

twinks I think you are doing all that you can

sorry about the me me me post

Crisps glad all went well at EPU, it must be very reassuring to see them bouncing around. I am not sure I will ever lose the FEAR either. I am learning to live with it. My sickness has only just kicked in this week at 11+2 and I had to be sick at work too which was really grim so I feel your pain. I am hoping this passes soon for both of us.

Twinkle sounds like you are doing everything you can. I think the odd alcoholic drink helps with the stress but can you ask DH to cut down? My DH liked a few drinks at the weekend similar to your DH and it caused lots of disagreements as I felt I was doing everything I could for DH to do very little. We ended up needing ICSI because of the poor quality which DH then felt very guilty for, his previous SA had always been fine up to the most important one. It could have been one of those things and we will never know but I wish he had done everything he could too. Good luck with your cycle and plan some nice things to do in 2ww to keep you sane.

Marina you sound like Paddington but a very good idea to take tea and the odd snack to bed for feeding time. Only fair that you have a snack at the same time as Trenchlet.

Shazza I have friends who have coped better than others when their DC have come along. I think it highlights strains in the relationships that may have already been there but come to the fore under pressure. They have all got over it and moved on as a time has progressed and things got easier.

We are going away to Lincoln for the rest of the weekend to take our minds off the scan on Monday. Neither of us have been before so it will be nice going somewhere different. I just need to get myself going to get ready.

Hope everyone else has lovely weekends planned.

Thx everyone.

OH has been eating a handful of mixed organic nuts and seeds for ages so we're covered on that one. As for the drinking, from mid Feb to mid May he didn't touch a drop on the doctors advice. When we found out we needed ivf I think he was so pissed off that it had made no difference he started having a few again on a Friday. Last night we discussed both stopping again. I suppose the good thing is that we are working with his sperm from when he'd given up drinking 3 months ago but Ill tell him to stop again.

Thanks for the tips and hope to be joining you soon :)

Just popping in quickly to say crisps sorry about the scare but really pleased to hear all is ok.

Phew, glad the random pains are normal. As someone said, it's hard to dissociate them from period pain.

twinkle my DH has severe male factor, so there was v little we could do to improve it. He did stop drinking, took some special suppliments, ate fruit etc for ivf #2 and ended up with the worst SA he had ever had! However we did the the frostie from that round which is now (fingers crossed) growing away in me! Good luck!

Re meet up, 27 July would be great for me, but could also do 3 aug and possibly 20 July, although that day would be more difficult.

Hope you are all having lovely weekends. Soz for lack of proper catch up!

Ah thanks ladies, you are all most lovely. The scan seems to have quashed the fear a little for now. Have another one in ten days (nt scan. Next one after that is four weeks later though, don't know how I'll cope! My name is crisps and I am a Fear addict...

twinkle helloo again. I second what mariana said...good mental health can carry you through a hell of a lot. Plan some lovely meals, stays away if you can afford it, treat yourself to some magazines and box sets and make sure you have plenty to distract your brain while it tries to work overtime. I am a huge acupuncture fan too...

buzzy the migraines suck. I had a three day one last week, it was hell. Paracetamol helped, what was the drug the doctor said you could take? I found sunglasses to be a godsend and tried having a bag of frozen peas on my neck worked well in the morning. Hope you feel better soon, after such a long time waiting its rubbish when you can't really enjoy the pregnancy (-although I love being pregnant iykwim).

Went to a party today, where I told a few people (as am huge already!). Felt very strange to tell people and for it to be kind of ok to tell people too. Nice though.

crisps it must be nice to tell people :) its a triptan but neurologist said ok to take GP said no, paracetamol does nothing for me and I can't take ibprofen I honestly thought I was going to die this morning IO felt so ill, felt much better when I had thrown up, my longest migraine has been 9 days, I couldn't stand that, will try the cold peas

shazza I can only do the 3rd of Aug. The 20th / 27th I am on holiday or have my mum visiting.

fairy the physio found that the left SI joint (or left part of it?) is not not moving as it should. The pain comes and goes though, so I can have a good week and a bad week, it's weird. She's given me exercises and stretches to do, but TBH it is only making it worse! I'll carry on doing them though till I see her again.

Hugs (or bags of cold peas, I have a massive bag in my freezer) for everyone with morning sickness and/or migraines!

I picked up a bag of maternity clothes yesterday for free, when I went to pick them up though, it turned out she was a good deal shorter than me, so lots of her trousers were ankle swingers on me! Goes to show, size 10s comes in different shapes and sizes.

I am struggling at the moment to be honest. I had a wonderful run of sheer joy, glow and happiness between 12 and 20 weeks and somehow now the sobbing hormones have set in. It just sets off. Not much I can do about it. I just let it go, husband is used to it by now. I am going to be a mumzilla. It is not helped by the fact that I wake up at five in the morning and am then exhausted by the end of the day / when the weekend comes. I still try and exercise almost every day, which isn't giving me more energy (which it should) but is taking energy away. I worry about every little thing. About the weather being crap on our holiday (which I am really really looking fwd to), not getting our list done, getting all the work stuff done, what if I can't get a nursery place, general bad parenting from my side, all sorts of issues that I won't be able to sort out (what if they have different sleeping rhythms, what if they bicker the whole effing time etc). All things that really I should be able to work out or work around or keep some sense of perspective when sane. I think that is it, I have lost my sense of perspective. I can't see the wood for the trees.
Yesterday morning I threw the wobbly of all most epic wobblies at DH, although I must say I still think he deserves it. My DH, bless 'm, is a lovely guy, and also incredibly hospitable. Everyone always comes and stays at ours, which is fine, but now that I am pregnant, I want to spend some time with him occasionally as well, and sometimes I just want a quiet night, without people staying (especially since some of mates are like so incredibly annoying). So yesterday I am telling him I am so looking fwd to a night in with DH... (I had only seen him on Wed and Thurs night, the other nights he was out on the lash with his mates. He makes time for that of course.) Turns out he had agreed for one of his mates to come and stay on Sat night (he had some conference on Sunday) and another mate to come and stay for a WEEK as from Sat night. I totally lost it. I don't mind them staying, but could I at least get more than 8 hrs notice, so I am not looking forward ALL WEEK to a Sat night in with DH?! And the mate that is staying for a week, he didn't bother to mention it the last TWO weekends he stayed over at ours! FFS. Then there is no winning this argument either, because you can't really say no at that point either, can you. Telling those people they can't stay. He pulled the same stunt on the day we had our seven week scan. Grr still makes me angry now.

crisps and buzzy wow the migraines sound awful. I've only had one twice in my life but the first time I had to have a doctor come and give me a morphine injection. God that was blissful relief.

dildals you sound really tired and no wonder. I've been sleeping really poorly as well, waking up all night and then really early. Worrying about work plus the pg symptoms I've been trying to go to bed by 9 to make up for it.

I also understand re husbands social life. My DH is similarly social but it is slowly diminishing as he gets older and less willing to risk my wrath. I have had to be a complete bitch about it on occasions (ie coming down in my dressing gown at 2 am and demanding they leave NOW!) but he's been pretty good while I've been pg. you are totally within your rights to say no to guests - you are under a huge burden at the moment and need rest and calm. Men really don't understand how pg affects you, they really can't.

fairy morphine you lucky mare it is back to a constant headache now

dildals You have every right to pissed off, I would be making it clear to DH that they are his friends and he would be looking after/entertaining/cooking for them etc

I am supposed to be going to my inlaws today but just can't face it, feel too weird and eating is such an issue, I like to graze right now

I have just had some bright red blood

Oh no Buzzy. Any chance it could be coming from cervix? Is it a lot?

I don't feel sick anymore and my boobs are a bit saggy and I 'm having cramps, I'll go to EPAU tomorrow

If it is just blood when wiping, then you might be ok. I had that too, cervix is really well bled at the moment, making nice cosy bed for baby.

fairy oh, i think he understands now ... I went absolutely apeshit ... :) if it happens again i won't pay half of the mortgage, see how that goes down. About a month ago he tells me, on the phone, after few pints that he invited his colleague to stay over for 2 weeks, who's inbetween houses. Seriously. It's just the way he is. It'll get better when twins are here ... I reckon are house/hotel will become a lot less attractive to these men when it has 2 babies!

Oh, AND he forgot our wedding anniversary ... He's got quite a lot of making up to do really! :)

but my boobs aren't sore and I don't feel sick

Oh God, Buzzy, I'm so sorry. It's been such a roller coaster for you. It's hopefully nothing but it must seem never ending for you.

Crikey Dildals, he has a huge amount to make up for! I have been really tired this weekend after a busy week. It must be even worse for you. Make sure you're looking after yourself.

Today I am 28 weeks and 1 day. Woohoo! We were brave yesterday and ordered a pram. I also bought a very cute hooded towel - my first purchase.

buzzy oh no. You are really being out through the mill by all of this. Is it easing off any? Really hope it is just an over enthusiastic bubba bounding up and down on your cervix. And don't take any notice of symptoms disappearing unless its for over a week...I am dreadfully aick and sore ut have still had random periods of two or three days where I felt great. Hormones are a rollercoatser, not a straight road. Let us know how you get on tmw.

dildals you sound very tolerant! There is no way on earth I would be having people to stay for a few days let alone a few weeks. That is ridiculous! Is your spare room the one that is going to become babies' room? If so paint it, get rid of the bed and pile nappies everywhere. Pregnancy is a very primal thing, I get very possessive about the house and my time and space. I'm very lucky with DH...he still has nights out and so on but wouldnt dream of coming home late/noisily/with a friend. You'll probably be right about the friend ps after the babies. I had a good bit of advice which was to not put makeup on or get out of my pjs if people who tended to overstay their welcome were coming over. Worked a treat!

crisps my boobs have deflated and don't hurt did that happen to you, I can understand the sickness coming and going