Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

mariana that is what I thought, I will spend the whole pregnancy worrying then I'll have a little human to worry about I haven't thought about how i'm going to get babybee out of me yet head in the sand for now

I am sure once I get to 12 weeks time will move at a better pace,

The farting got a lot better for me too after I stopped the bullets. I don't suffer with constipation either, lucky I guess. I think I do have what they call the glow, I have this ruddy look about me, not sure it is necessary a good look. The swollen ankles are starting though and the skin on my face is really dry. Apart from that I am not complaining.

buzzy one day at a time ...

I went to see the consultant yesterday. I had to wait an hr before I got seen, next time I take War and Peace in, just to make a point! I had a list of questions I rattled off and as usual I left slightly deflated, I guess because of the info overload or maybe just the magnitude of having to give birth to these babies, I am not sure. Anyway. I just thought I tell you what she told me, maybe of interest for the other twinnos? Good news first. They're happy to give you an ELCS with twins, even if twin 1 is head down, this is mainly in the light of the fact that vaginal delivery ends up with a 40% EMCS rate anyway (!). And of those 60% 30% has an assisted delivery. She told me that for twins 37 weeks is considered full term, so if they make it to 37 weeks then they shouldn't need any neonatal care, which is good. She did say that all ELCS get a steroid injection to mature the lungs of babies. I thought this only happened in preemies. She said that CS born babies often need a little help breathing afterwards because the fluid hasn't been pushed out of their lungs properly (due to the fact they haven't travelled down the birth canal) also they haven't encountered the prostaglandins in the birth canal, which apparently helps with lung function. Mariana did you have this steroid shot? From reading about it I get the impression that the steroid shot is not entirely uncontroversial. I told her I take low dose aspirin but that no one has prescribed that to me. She said that taking low dose aspirin is good practice, although there isn?t sufficient strong randomised evidence available to show that it works. It is definitely not harmful. (NICE recommends taking low dose aspirin when carrying multiples, for who it is the first pregnancy, or over forty, or history of pre-eclampsia etc.) Apparently King?s is starting a trial soon to support the use of low dose aspirin so in five yrs time this may become a standard recommendation. She said low dose aspirin helped (or could help, I should probably say) prevent pre-eclampsia but also intra-uterine growth restriction, because it makes blood flow thru the placenta better. She recommended to stop in wk36. Oh, I also asked why they don?t let you go longer with DCDA twins, she said that there is strong evidence the placentas start deteriorating after wk 38 in twins. So I am happy with that. I asked whether there was anything I could do to prevent premature labour. Answer was no. I also asked about doubling up on folic acid, she said no not necessary. I asked to get recorded in my notes to get some sweeps booked in in wk 37, she thought wk 36 was too early. She did say that it all depends really on how ready the cervix is at that time etc etc, so we?ll have to play it by ear. My next appt with the consultant is in wk 32 so at that point we are going to get serious about birth. I think that was it!

Ah, I also asked her about how much weight I should gain. She said there were no UK guidelines, but there were US ones. She said 'oh I think about 8kgs' ... seriously woman ... singleton pregnancies even gain more than 8kgs, I have already gained 8kgs and it isn't as if I have gone kerrazy.

shazza I am quite curious to see what the bump looks like now!

Wow dildals that is a lot of info for you to absorb. Forewarned is forearmed! I thought singleton weight gain was 8-14kg or something like that. My bump is definitely bigger in the last couple of days. Still not sure if it is shazlett's growth spurt or something else. Shall we have another meet up to compare bumps? It's funny to think that I'm further on now than you and fairy were when we met before. Is anyone else up for a meet up? I wish we could take this show on the road to Bangkok via Belgium and the north of England!

How did the jabs go Mariana? Is that a good book? I saw it in the book shop the other day. Do you think it will be helpful? It must feel awful if you feel you are shouting the whole time. So upsetting for you and DD1. I hope you can find a way to make things work for you.

Keep on the whole I feel ok but I'm still pretty tired are you? I thought energy was supposed to come back at this point but I feel like I'm dragging my ever increasing butt around this week. Also I'm suddenly ravenous. Much more than previous weeks.

How is your day going buzz?

dildals that is alot of info but useful, even though I am not having twins [grins]

shazzawell I thought I would have a shower as I have to see my osteo later, I then had some more spotting, then headache and cramps, but not going to go freak out well not just yet I have also eaten about 9 bits of bread with beans and cheese already today

Buzzy, I think parenting means a lifetime of anxiety. I find worrying about the children more 'normal' than my pregnancy worrying though.

Check up fine, thank god. She was very upset at the jabs but we're having a lazy afternoon of feeding and snoozing to compensate the poor mite.

Shazza, it's very American in tone and language but the overall message is good. I've used its techniques this morning and no shouting. Im also using a reward chart with her which she loves andI recommend it anyway.

dildals, the consultation sounds like it was pretty thorough. Do you feel that they are steering you into an ELCS? No steroids here as CS was at 39(1) so well into full term. Yes, CS babies are more mucousy but if they're also full term they can clear their own lungs. Trenchlet coughed a few times during her first few hours but that was all.

mariana consultation was thorough because I arrived with a page of questions! :-) I did raise home birth as well, and to be fair, she didn't bat an eyelid! I asked about ELCS myself. I wanted to get a feel on whether this would be something I would need to fight for or whether this is something they'd be happy to accomodate. She didn't steer me either way, it's too early anyway to make any bold decisions.

Hi girls. Had a boring day of training and am completely brain dead.

Just throwing this out in no particular order - re steroids, I had to stay in hosp while having them because they can cause contractions, especially with bigger uterus (ie full time twin belly). Never have heard of having them just for elcs but maybe it's protocol for twins because they are smaller? Studies are def showing that prog supps has big role in preventing prem labour but not shots with peanut oil because peanut oil provokes contractions.

I'll be 28 weeks on Saturday. tick tock tick tock.
We had a scan yesterday and all is good. Cervix 4.9cm - very happy with that.
Buzzy, I understand that you are reluctant to count your chickens and all that, but when you saw the heartbeat yesterday you fell in love and already have hopes and dreams for this baby even if you don't dare to voice them so please try to rejoice. You have no reason to think that history will repeat itself and if it does what will you have gained by being negative? You would still be devastated. There's a baby in your belly with a big fab heartbeat!

The farting doesn't go away. It reduces but gets smellier. Or maybe that's just me.

Glad check up was good Mariana. I am starting to fret about being an actual mum. What if I fill my child with issues? What if I mollycoddle and suffocate them? Should you be strict with table manners or will that give them food issues? Aaaaagh, it's endless!

Good you all give updates of what weeks you're at? I'm losing track. Who's got a scan soon?

I think we are bound to fill them with issues, probably merely different issues to the ones we have ourselves! In all seriousness, I think if you love your child, listen to her and encourage her to pursue her interests you won't go too far wrong. All within some firm boundaries around general behaviour of course!

Tick tock indeed. I think 28 weeks is a big milestone!

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I have been lurking keeping up to date with all the goings on.

Dildals I am so grateful for your updates. I will make a note to ask my consultant about the baby aspirin. I am keen to have an ELCS, my midwife has already mentioned it, so I am pleased I might not have to fight for it.

ExpatAl wow 28 weeks is a big milestone. I am sure it is normal for the worry to continue once the baby comes along, every step of the way seems to bring up new worries.

buzzy I am hoping to worry less following my 12 week scan but I think I will just worry about my 20 week scan at that point. Good news the scan went so well, small steps is the way forward. Hope you feel a bit better and the cold clears up soon.

Shazza when is the pregnancy glow supposed to kick in? Or is it more of a myth told to pregnant women to cheer them up?

I have my NT screening scan on Monday, I have been seriously worrying about it already. I have also had my first episode of MS today at 11+2, I had thought I had got away without any. I just hope it was a one off, although I was worried about the lack of MS too. I have started weening of my meds so am not sure if they have just masked all the symptoms until now.

Morning all

Thank goodness for Friday!

How you feeling buzz? Are you staying off work today?

Congrats on the check up Mariana. Good news. I think I'll take a look at the book. I know it's early days but like Expat I'm worried I'm going to mess shazlett up from the outset.

I also worry about the effect on me and DP. Will we cope and will our relationship survive the stress? I have a romantic idea of the 3 of us having a happy time together. I hope the reality isn't that I'm constantly shouting and nagging through feeling overwhelmed.

28 weeks expat. Woohoo. That's another goal reached. One day at a time.

Sweetie I was beside myself with worry for harmony and NT scan and now am starting to fret abit for 20 weeks. It's normal when it feels like so much is at stake. But as expat said to buzz yesterday being worried and anxious wont change anything and so we may as well try to marvel in and enjoy every day.

I've noticed that my body hair doesn't seem to be growing so fast. I shaved my legs ages ago and they don't feel stubbly. Also I noticed this week that one boob is bigger than the other. Ive always had small ones and now they are bigger I can see that the left one is racing ahead!

Have a good day.

Hi all
Pleased to report I've had no more back-end bleeding (delightful). So must have just been one of those things. Thanks for all your kind words!
Buzz, such good news. I hope you can feel a little bit more relaxed now (just a little bit :)) although I take your point re your previous mc, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the next 3 weeks fly like the wind for you. Maybe 'fly like the wind' is not the best choice of language given your trumping issues (I'm also trumping like a trooper)
Gin I've noticed in the past couple of weeks I've dropped the 'hopes' and 'fingers crossed' from my speech, it's now 'will' (if that makes sense!). It helps that someone else at work is the same amount of preggers as me (her due date is one day after mine!!) so we can both look forwards together.
crisps sorry to hear about the sickness. I feel very lucky I've not experienced it myself. Or maybe I'll get it late on in pregnancy to serve me right for thinking I'd escaped!
dildals I'm well impressed you met Mrs Bumpology! Does she live round our neck of the woods then? (Not that I'm going to get my binoculars out and start stalking her).
Shazz I hope the back-up has cleared!
Mariana I hope you had another colic free evening. Weird about the hair. Mine doesn't look any thicker/ bouncier. If anything it's a touch lankier (it's ever so fine anyway). Nice.
Keep I can't believe you're 16 weeks! But of course if I'm 15 then you must be! I know the early stages dragged, but on the flip side it really doesn't seem that long ago that we were nervously posting at 4.5/5.5 weeks respectively...
Hey expat, good news about the scan and the cervix. 28 weeks! Amazing. x

shazz, dildals, fairy, I'd love to meet up with you guys. I'm in sarf east London. Gin might be up for it too. Off on holidays soon but I think a Saturday in July might be free?!?

Morning all! I agree shazz, thank god it's Friday. This is my first full week in the office for ages, as I've been trying to work from home a day a week or take a day's leave and can really bloody feel it!

mariana pleased to hear all was well at the check up. It's interesting what you said about feeling like worrying about the baby is more normal than the pregnancies worries - that is exactly what I said to DH the other evening. Everyone keeps telling us that the anxiety doesn't stop when they are born, but I feel like I'll be in the same boat as everyone else then.

buzz how you feeling today? I've had to have a couple of sick days over the last few months due to migraine and think it's really important to let ourselves recover properly when poorly.

didals all the info is really useful, even though I'm not having twins. I hope you feel a bit more reassured. 8kgs?! Jeeze, I'm sure I've put that on already!

expat 28 weeks already? Wow! The clock is indeed ticking.

sweetie good luck with the scan!

shazz my body hair and nails are still growing like billyo! My hair just looks frizzy rather than nice though. Interestingly my skin has been a lot less spotty since being preggers instantly expects an outbreak Thinks it's cos it's really dry at the mo, but it means people keep telling me I look really well, or do they mean fat?! Someone at work guessed I was 5 months pregnant the other day, eeek! I was only 13+4.... I think it's all to do with where we're carrying them.

mrshy pleased to hear there have been no more bum issues! i couldn't cope with revealing yet another bit of my anatomy to the drs, although apparently that has already been done, when they shoved up some arse bullets during EC . Hopefully as time goes on, I'll be able to drop the fingers crossed etc when I talk about the baby.

I'd love to meet up with you please! I'm souf London based too, although also off on hols so not about at weekends until mid July. It'll be ace to meet you in real life and be able to bore on about baybees :)

Ps Does anyone else get what feels a bit like mild period pains below the bump, kind of in the ovary area? I guess there's a lot going on in there at the mo, but I still find it a bit worrying!

Shazza, I have one huge mutant nipple. Getting quite concerned - what if it hogs all the milk! It's not quite the attractive image I had in mind.

mrsh at the flying like the wind

gin I plan to have as many sick days as I feel I need, I feel pretty rough today again, headache and sickness but had something I needed to do at work, but will be leaving early to finish up paperwork at home

I live in faux surrey so am keen for a meet up too

Hi doing a sneaky check in at work.

MrsH good news re bleeding.

Gin I had those pains. I think they are round ligament pains and are normal if a little worrying when they happen. It was bad for me about a week or so ago but has eased off. I still get the odd twinge. Does your bump fluctuate? I saw pics the other day if different ways babies can be 'carried'. The difference in shape and position of bumps was remarkable.

Expat the wayward nipple sounds disconcerting. If you are unduly concerned I guess you could get it checked.

So a meet could be
Me
Gin
MrsH
Buzzy
Dildals
Fairy
Noks who is also near London

Have I missed anyone near London? Crisps and sweetie I think you are north aren't you? With Mariana? Maybe you could have a northern get together and we could Skype in!

I'm sorry if Ive forgotten anyone. Expat and keep you will be missed.

So what about a Saturday towards the end of July. Will you all be back from hols? 27th?

Hello
Count me in as another one with the occasional pelvic/ovarian twinge gin and shazza - I mentioned this to someone and they mentioned round ligament pain too. I notice it when I'm up and about, but not sat down.
Currently 20th and 27th fine for me - but the inlaws will be landing for one of those weekends! I will try and find out which this weekend :)

My mum is over on the weekend of the 27th of July and we are touring Dorset with the in-laws motor home the weekend before (20th)! (because I will be too big to go on plane and don't want to either - I am going to travel with a mental map of all neonatal units of Dorset et environs in my head!)

MrsH yes, she lives in between Herne Hill and North Dulwich station!

Hi sweetie why are you keen on an ELCS? I think I am with you, but am still feeling like I would miss out of that this great rite of passage of giving birth naturally. Then again ... 40% EMCS rate ... forceps ... epidural ... perhaps it's a rite of passage I should be happy to give a miss.

I could have very happily lived life without ever experiencing vaginal delivery. I believe others find it rewarding.

Your relationship inevitably changes shazza. It's all overwhelming for a while, as if everything's thrown up in the air and then it all settles down again, but things are different as there are now three of you and the baby is the most important for you both. It's fun though, eventually!

Where are you crisps? (I'm Lancs.)

I'm glad you say it's fun Mariana. I do worry about losing what we have. We are very close. Of course that's why we wanted a baby. It would be ironic if we lost that because of a baby.

The 20th or 27th are ok for me. Lets see what everyone else can do. Maybe the 3rd aug is a possibility? I'm hoping to try to get in a holiday beg of aug before I can't fly anymore.

I'm sure you won't Shazza. It will just be a different kind of close. You both will have produced something incredible. I can't wait - have all kinds of daydreams of what it will be like. Probably totally unrealistic!
I was being a bit tongue in cheek about my mutant nipple. It does amaze me though that the body knows exactly what to do and how to prepare for a baby.

My EMCS was miserable and horrible and I was not happy at all when my ob told me I'd need to have a CS this time but I have been reassured by friends that an elective one is massively different and very easy. I still would like to give birth naturally though and feel quite sad about it. Stupid really.

I had lots of twinges earlier and some were definitely period painy - these days I just feel massively pregnant and have to kind of roll out of bed.

Not fair you're all meeting up. Take a picture!

I also get twinges from time to time, especially in bed when turning over. I think it is everything just settling down and making room. Early on the pains were very similar to period pains but now feel more like stretching.

Shazza it is normal to feel like you do but your relationship will change as you all become a family together. I am really looking forward to seeing DH with our DC as I know he will be brill.

Marina I am in Yorkshire so not too far away from Lancs, but too far away for the London meet up.

Dildals I am very fearful of the unpredictability of giving birth, if someone could say it will be X hours, you will have X stitches and need X medication. I think I would be more comfortable. Especially now we are having twins I would hate to get T1 out naturally only to have EMCS with T2. I just want to make sure they arrive safe and sound with the least stress for all involved. It is a really personal choice but I am too much of a control freak/stress head to let nature takes its course.

My Mum said she thought my boobs looked bigger today, I must book an appointment to get fitted for a maternity bra. I am currently wearing my most well washed, softest old under wired bras.

Another episode of MS today, so I definitely think it has caught me up. Bizarrely it is quite reassuring in an odd sort of way.