Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Buzzy, my boobs deflated at around 6 weeks and then came back with a vengeance at around 8/9 weeks. My symptoms were also really erratic. Anyway, only a scan will give you the peace of mind you need. What time does the EPU open?

Well actually, I say that they came back with a vengeance but in fact only for a couple of days and then they didn't hurt for a couple more weeks.

thanks expat

Cross posted expat sorry. 28+1 is awesome! Good for you with the pram. Giving you a little round of applause here sat on my sofa!

buzzy I have erratic boobage (not to mention the fact that I am a 30K!) Some days when I unleash them at night they are the most painful thing in the work, other nothing at all. The veinyness comes and goes too. My bump is the same too...this morning I looked fat, this afternoon huge bump that is really hard and look hugely pregnant. Don't get it at all. I think there are so many things going on that they just change all the time. Especially when you're like us...we're so in tune with our bodies after IVF that we notice every little change. Trusting your instincts is fine...as long as your instincts aren't too pessimistic! I am completely guilty of that one. Really hope you get a good result at the scan tmw. How is the bleeding?

Oh buzzy I'm so sorry about the bleeding. Am crossing everything for your trip to EPAU. Time must be crawling... Remember you lost symptoms last time and all was OK.

dildals I wouldn't stand for that either... I've been less sociable since starting ivf, and that's not really changed now I'm pg... Early bedtimes don't help.

I am SO looking forward to being back in the uk (5 weeks!) and getting our house sorted. Well, first finding a house.... .
expat well done on buying a pram, I'm thinking of making one little purchase, maybe some booties or something, to make it seem more real, but maybe I'm chicken.

crisps I missed your drama the other day, poor you. So glad all is OK, and after your twelve week scan it seems much easier I think. My bump is also much smaller in the morning-you can hardly see it- after dinner it's quite big.

Hello girls

Sorry for weekend radio silence. We've had our heads down doing the loft.

Buzzy oh my goodness. How are you today. What time are you going to EPU? Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

Crisps I'm glad all is ok after your scare. I agree it's funny to chat and 'know' each other yet not know each other. I don't know what I would do without you girls. You are all amazing and have made all this so much easier and fun. Although I know that it isn't fun for many of us some of the time.

Twinkle if you are still reading. Good luck with your cycle. Be healthy, happy and I agree try to find time for yourself to be calm and relax. Meditation, warm (not hot) baths. Whatever it is that will help you stay sane. Also while you feel ok try to prepare some food and have it in the freezer for the days when you don't want to spend time and energy cooking. Nice healthy soups, shepherds pie that kind of thing. And cut down on caffeine if you can. Fingers crossed for you.

Mariana I hope 5 am tea and toast is working for you. MIL called DP last night and told him to relish every moment of sleep now. She was making it sound like we will never sleep ever again.

Sweetie. Good luck for today honey. Let us know how you get on. I hope you had a good trip

Gin how are you feeling? Shall we say 3rd aug for a meet up? Is that ok for all those that would like to come? We could have afternoon tea somewhere.

Dildals. Crikey you sound overwhelmed honey. Firstly inviting guests to stay for long periods is not on now. Can you talk to DH when things have calmed down and explain that there are to be no more house guests. You are over 20 weeks pg with twins for goodness sake. A few weeks ago DP just wasn't getting it either and although we didn't have guests he wasn't pulling his weight around the flat. I left the 'what to expect' book on the table with pages marked. The book says that a pg woman is more tired and expending more energy laying on the sofa that he will EVER experience. Even more than a full work out at the gym. DH needs to understand that not only it is simply not possible now for you to be catering for his house guests but that you need peace and quiet and you need to be with him at this crucial, intimate and personal time. Good luck with it.

Secondly re the overwhelm. I understand how hard it is to have the voice in your head pile worry after worry on top of each other until it topples over. It will take abit of willpower but try to break the cycle by tackling one thing at a time and repeatedly reminding yourself when you find yourself worrying about something that is out of your control. Like the weather. If it rains every day you can have cosy times with DH snuggled in the hotel or in cafes reading books. Or you can go for walks in the rain. It doesn't matter. You will be together and that's important. Overwhelm is horrible because it takes away our empowerment so take it bit by bit and then it is manageable. Phew I got abit carried away there but I know this feeling soooo well

Expat massive congrats on over 28 weeks. Hurrah! Which pram did you plump for in the end?

Keep exciting times ahead. Do you know where you are comjng back to?

Hello everyone else. I hope you are all ok and had a good weekend. All fine in our camp. Still no movement felt. And apart from my fluctuating bump and inflated boobs I wouldn't know I was pg. I'm still having panicky thoughts about the impact on our lives and am also feeling overwhelmed but am trying to keep this in check (see above).

Good luck to those with scans today. Love x

Thx Shaz for the tips. I drink decaf anyway but might invest in caffeine free herbal tea just in case.

Thx Shaz for the tips. I drink decaf anyway but might invest in caffeine free herbal tea just in case.

Buzzy, I'm stalking this thread for news. Hope all is okay.

Shazza, I went for the maxi cosi mura in the end. I really liked the look of the quinny but the basket was very small. The new Stokke is fab with an enormous basket and I was very tempted, but I have seen babies nearly propelled out of the pram when it hits an awkward cobble and 1300 euros before you've bought any extras for the pram is pretty steep for something that will probably have blackberry squash spilled on it at some point.

Twinkle, sorry, I missed your post. You look fine to me. Keep the water up because it will flush the drugs out of your system quicker and help you feel much better. Don't change anything while you're taking the drugs etc - just continue as normal. Wishing you the very best of luck.

Btw, a friend has an uppababy and it's brilliant. It's just hard to buy in Belgium and I wanted to be able to take back whatever I bought to a shop easily if it broke.

shazza I haven't even begun to think about how this change my life head in the sand again no one really talks about that when they have a baby

expat Thank you, the scan showed a heartbeat at this stage, I was crying so much they had to stop scanning me as they couldn't see anything with my gut moving, I'm still bleeding but have another scan booked for the 3rd July which seems like ages away, I feel quite numb

buzzy yay! that's wonderful! bleeding is so common, try just to think about the heartbeat. How far along are you?

shazza YES let's do the 3rd of Aug. If anyone wants to meet up earlier in a smaller group then I would be up for that too! Happy to host as well (seriously, I am ... just don't stay over! ;-))

buzzy hope everything is ok, fingers crossed

expat I couldn't BELIEVE the price when I saw those Stokke prams! I guess it just depends on priorities.

To be fair to DH, he doesn't expect me to cater to his guests. He does all/most of the cooking and washing/drying of clothes. He's quite domesticated. It is just the fact that I don't get asked whether it is OK whereas I am pretty sure I pay half the mortgage.
Luckily the house is large enough, the nursery to be is my walk in wardrobe ... It's just that if I don't fancy sitting on the sofa inbetween DH and his mate(s) (listening to either golf talk, tennis talk or tory talk about taxes) when I am really looking fwd to snuggling up with DH and relaxing.

ANYWAY. On the upside. I went to a Nearly New Sale on Sunday morning (with DH). Came back with a good loot. I am the proud owner of a twins nursing pillow (not owned by local celebrity author this time). The lady had twins too, so she had loads of matching outfits. OMG. I am so going to dress them up the same! They're going to be so CUTE! They have matching set of American Apparel leggings now... haha. I bought a nice big play mat with toys hanging over it, that they can share. I bought a door bouncer, mainly because that looked like lots of fun to ME, not sure whether the babies will enjoy it :-). I also bought a massive bib thing with arms, like a plastic shirt. (DH really liked that, I was thinking 'oh, a bin bag will do that too!'.) For when they start eating themselves. Can also be used for when they take on finger painting (which may have to take place in the garden!). Also bought a copy of the Baby Whisperer for a pound.

Also picked up a bag of mat clothes for free. Size 10. But when I saw here I realised she was about half my size (in length). So now I have quite a lot of work trousers in size ten left over. Any takers by any chance? They are not amazing, but they'll do the job!?

Also called Home Start this morning. They're a volunteer organisation that can help you with multiples, a volunteer will come to my house every week for 2 hrs and help me out, after the twins have arrived, with whatever I need. The volunteer is likely to be a parent too, so she can share some experience or simply put a wash on or talk some sense in to me if I have completely lost it by that point or come along to baby swimming because getting twins in to swimsuits at the same time surely must be an advanced parenting skill.

Buzzy, great news! Do they have any idea of what could be causing the bleeding?

no idea what is causing the bleeding but they said to expect a bit more,

Buzzy that is amazing news. I'm so happy for you. The bleeding must be a huge worry but at least the bubba is ok. I have a cousin who tells me like it is. She says that she loves DD more than anything but if she'd have known how hard it was going to be she would have reconsidered trying in the first place. And she was TTC for 8 years.

Dildals yes please to trousers! I'm shorter than you so they might fit me. Great to the 3rd aug it's a date. And am also up for travelling over your way before then weekend DIY allowing. Your haul sounds great as does the homestart help. Genius! I'm going to go to the nearly new sale on the 29th that you mentioned.

Thanks expat. I'll look up that pram. The stokkes look so unstable to me.

shazza I had a cousin like that, I don't know how long she was trying for but she said motherhood was not what she thought it would be, she never striked me as the mothering kind as she was very career focused she went on and had another, I know she had a miserable labour and some complications with drugs ,paraylised for a few hours after due to them??

buzzy so glad there was a heartbeat. Hope that means that the bleeding is not from the bambino or placenta and is from somewhere else if you get what I mean. Maybe you're just going to be one of those ladies that has lots of bleeds, although I know it must be completely terrifying when it happens. Really hope everything sticks and stays sorted for you.

dildals the people I have met with twins keep telling me that organisation is the key. You are so organised that I'm sure you'll be great! Very impressed by your purchases and bargain hunting, I love buying stuff and preparing but I'm not as sussed out as you are about what to buy and where from! And with regards to DH...mine is also lovely but I do keep recreating that scene from friends where Rachel is pregnant but has a huge shout at Ross, saying he needs to be at her constant beck and call at all times, even if that's unreasonable!

Someone on my street has one of those stokke prams. They are beautiful but I agree they don't look too safe. I had a Quinny last time and loved it. Really easy to put forward or backward facing and lasted forever. The basket underneath is a bit small but we just hung stuff off it if we needed to. I am going to need a beast of a pram for the troublesome twosome!

Hi all.

Re. the never would have done it if I'd known what it entails thing. I have a fear that I'll have gone through all of this and it won't be what I thought and I'll be a terrible mum.

My friend with twins has a schedule on the fridge and sticks to it religiously. When you visit you're handed a baby and a nappy or bowl of food. They are beyond cute - two little blond boys. They're very cuddly and relaxed because they're used to random people holding them. I won't lie - both parents look bone weary but blissed out. It's a fabulous thing. Am soooo jealous.

I looked at the twin prams and thought of you ladies. Every outing is going to be a major work out! You'll never need a gym again but you will need a big pavement. The Maxi Cosi is reversible too and looked the same as the quinny side by side but i do like the way the baby sits up in the car seat. There's so much choice I couldn't focus after a while and so we went for the one that was most comfortable for dh to push. Lucky dh was with me otherwise I would have gone zombie like for the Stokke.

Keep, it must be coming up to d day. How are the preparations going?

Hello! Not much time to post I'm afraid but:

1. Buzzy, phew, another mountain climbed. Keeping everything crossed that nature cuts you a break very soon!!
2. 3rd Aug for a London meet up sounds fab to me
3. I went a bit mental at Westfield yesterday. We are now the proud (if slightly baffled and terrified in case we've jinxed it all) proud owners of a dresser/changing unit, cot bed, wardrobe, buggy with extras, car seat and isofix base.

Buzzy so pleased all was ok at your scan, but what a worry to still be bleeding. I hope it all stops soon and you can start to relax.

We had our scan today and all was well, they were both still in there!! They were both measuring a week ahead of my 11+6, I am sure she said one was 13+1 and the other was 12+6. The downs risk came back at 1/17000 so that was such a relief to us both. The twins were wriggling around loads which was really weird to see on the screen but not feel. It is all starting to feel very real now. We have told both our families and close friends so that is it now until 20 week+ scan.

DH is looking at the Bugaboo Donkey but I am not sure and it will be me who has to push it the most. Also it is £££££s which puts me off too although DH says we can resell it. I am going to have a good look around before deciding.

Great news buzzy. I've known a couple of people who bled intermittently throughout pregnancy and no explanation was ever found.

I'm surprised at your cousin shazza. I think the first months are gruelling until you get the sleeping sorted but after that it's busy, but not overwhelming. The absolute love and joy at having your baby more than compensates. Even at the absolute extremities of exhaustion they can still utterly melt your heart with a smile and a gurgle. They keep doing it in different ways as they get older. They're utterly fascinating creatures and brilliant company as they get older.

I have not a single regret but I do miss city breaks and lazy holidays in the sun. DH is away a lot for work and I used to go too if it was somewhere nice. He's off to Italy tomorrow and I'd love to have been able to go too. In time (years probably) I'll leave the girls with my sister and sneak off on the occasional trip with him.

I swear by organisation too. Simple things like not leaving a changing mat in a mess really help. Every nappy change I do I clear up and make sure there are enought nappies, wipes etc there for the next time. I never let the laundry pile up and always clear up straight after a meal. I check milk / fruit and bread levels every morning and do a menu plan for the week. It's not for everybody but it keeps me sane!

I've got a couple of size 12 maternity things on offer, a red sun dress and a grey linen tunic. I'll try to upload photos of them, then anyone who wants them can have them.

Hurrah sweetie, great results!

Gah, I can't upload the photos, I've managed the grey tunic, it was great over trousers and especially when heavily pregnant (originally from H&M). PM me if you're interested in the sun dress (I think I wore it once) and I'll email a pic. It's got thin straps, an empire line draw string tie and is knee length, red cotton (from Mothercare).