Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Nokkie, you've reminded me I have a list of what you actually need for a baby (rather than what Mothercare say you need in order to extract the most cash from you.)
I'll happily dig it out and pm it to you (but I'm not sure how you'll send me the cake in return).

I've still never read a baby book so I wouldn't worry about that. The Internet is all you need.

I had a real panic when DS was about 3 months old that I had read nothing, knew nothing and he would never be in any sort of routine. Ever.

I think I got so hung-up on being pregnant and everything that could go wrong that I just refused to think about the actual having a baby stage! I was pleasantly surprised at how much more relaxed I was when he arrived. I had horrible images of me hovering over him constantly worried if he was breathing/too hot/too cold etc. Read the Baby Whisperer at 3 months old, paniced that I should have implemented all techniques from birth and then realised we were doing fine :)

That sounds similar to me vallinna. I'm amazed at how less anxious insane I am now I'm no longer pregnant.

I wonder if it is now that the babies (or not so in my case!) are out and here you can share responsibility? It feels less all on you (even as primary care giver).

I am clearly an over thinker

I also don't think I could have been more anxious than when I was pregnant

hey Ladies just catching up, has taken me a bit longer due to my cat sitting on my laptop and making the screen turn sideways, cue lots of bad language and a frantic text to Barry to help me straighten things out

vall 3 days is an eternity, best to get an early scan to know :)

nok i'm a vego, but not vegan :)

I have had a look at the weather, on the Friday its going to rain but not on the Saturday at this stage, so I suppose its a case of the how wet will the ground be if it does actual rain

Like Buzzy just catching up. So much going on in RL at the moment.

Vallinna I feel a bit like you did but about TTC/IVF. I had read up and looked into it for so long now that I am pregnant I know nothing about what to expect. I hadn't looked any further than the IVF. At least I have a few month to swat up on parenting. Although like you did I am sure finding our own way without instructions to fail at will be best.
Your birth experience and post birth tum sound amazing, I think you were very lucky and fingers crossed for similar this time.

Nokkie I am about the same as you and also haven't bought much, only 2 bargain carry cots from Ebay to go with our preferred buggy. I have seen a list in the booklet my mw (Emmas Journey I think) gave me but not looked at it in any great detail. I am going to start buying after 20 week scan. Shame I am too far away to enjoy the cake side of the game too.

Dildals I have favoured a c-section right from the beginning although my first meeting with the twins consultant was defo steering towards VB. I know I have ages to go yet and it will be a conversation I will continue to have. I just think the knowing when and where of an ELCS is such a benefit, especially as I will be due Dec. I am not bothered about feeling cheated not having experienced a VB. I am also concerned that I would deliver twin 1 by VB only to have to have EMCS with twin 2. I would rather get them both out that way than have worked hard to only need a c-section in the end anyway.

When should I feel movement? I am currently 17+2 and have a few "feelings" that I could convince myself was movement but I could also be kidding myself cos I want it so badly. Crisps you seem to be feeling loads of movement and I think you are similar stage to me, is that because you know what to feel for?

Anyone got any tips for no ankles? OMG I have completely lost my ankles by this time of the day. I have to live in flip flops as my feet won't fit into anything else. I have been putting my feet in cold water when I get home from work but by this time it is too late they are already ankle less. Apart from that all is well

Just popping in ver quickly... noks I will be getting no cake, as I have no idea re babies! mariana if you were able to PM me your list too, I'd be v grateful.

Am really looking forward to the meet up!

List sent. I'd just post it here but I'll never get the formatting right and it'll end up a big chunk of meaningless text. (Like most of my posts.)

Feet above heart is all I know about ankles Sweetie. Easier said than done though.

Help, I need some advice and wonder if anyone on this thread has any thoughts - apologies for landing rudely like this.

I am 13 weeks pregnant after IVF and on clexane (blood thinner) amongst other things.

My problem is yesterday I broke a tooth on a crisp that was barely any tougher than a marshmallow and it is really uncomfortable now. Fortunately I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning.

So, this is the question: should I take the clexane this evening? By the time I got home from work I couldn't get through to the dentist to ask. A couple of weeks ago I had very bad bleed and had to go to A&E, really thought I'd miscarried but fortunately all was fine with the baby it was down to the clexane that what would have been minor spotting was a big gush. Sorry if TMI.

Feet in a washing up bowl full of icy water....preferably above your head Sweetie

Sorry Isabeller I have no advice. What are they like to do tomorrow? Temporary crown? Filling? I have no experience on Clexane but I am bruising like a good 'un just on aspirin. My guess is they will be OK but prepared for more blood than normal? Might be worth contacting your midwife/maternity unit as a dentist may not have come across someone on clexane (Although in this day and age of IVF probably has :))

Good idea vallinna you know what tooth pain is like, added to being hot and exhausted I have no brain cells of my own available :)

mariana thank you thank you thank you ! -girl crush alert-

vall that does make sense. I think (perhaps) we forget that our natural instincts are actually quite good and we don't need books to constantly tell us what to do. It's when the insecurity kicks in that we become vulnerable and buy self-help books to use as a crutch.

buzz hello lovely. I am also a vego so I shall refrain from putting chops in my chocolate cake

sweetie I hear you with the fecking mahoosive ankles. Mine hurt a bit when I walk down the stairs. In the evening, I sit with them on a chair so that they are raised. It doesn't get rid of them entirely but I think it helps. I also sleep with them propped-up on a pillow. For the rest of the day, I watch them slowly inflate like bloody ugly dinghies. I think I am feeling the nipper wriggling. Though I have had the most incredible wind so it may have been that too.

gin you'll just have to dance for me then !

isabeller sorry, I can't help. Can you call NHS Direct ?

Hi to everyone else.

Nx

Bollocks just wrote a huge post and lost it. Will try again tomorrow evening. Noks I can't wait to try your cake! I like everything and anything, as my rapidly expanding arse (which was quite frankly, enormous to begin with) will testify.

Major wobble alert. Can I please have your best kippers slapped around my face? Feeling even more sick and anxious than usual. Convinced I have had a MMC and totally unsure of how I will make it to my scan next Saturday. I know it's stupid (I hope) and I know this feeling will pass, but right now feeling terrible.

Sorry

isabeller i also am no help but congrats on the pregnancy!

noks My feet are like inflatable dinghies as well. I have a formal work meeting in London tomorrow and I will be waddling in with my stubby fat legs and inflated feet in worn out old pumps. Hopefully everyone will be too distracted by my massive bump to notice. I'm sorry I'll be missing your cake at Shazza's meet up.

dildals to CS or not to CS is a very difficult question. It is definitely the case that an ELCS is much easier to recover from than an EMCS, esp after prolonged labour. I had the latter and couldn't walk farther than around my house for 2 weeks and didn't feel really well again for much longer (but the CS was particularly difficult as well due to DS being wodged in so tightly so that is probably on the extreme side). I also got a painful staph infection in my CS incision, which necessitated heavy duty antibiotics resulting in the WORST THRUSH EVER. On the other hand, I have had friends who had quick natural births and ended up with prolapsed uteruses and bladder incontinence. It really is the luck of the draw. In your circs with twins I would be tempted to the ELCS for the reasons you give, although you should be able to get proper pain relief for either option (and if your midwife refuses to give you more than ibuprofen, just go to the GP and look traumatised, you'll get lovely co-codamol).

I think though it also comes down to your mental attitude, whether deep down you want to try a natural birth or if it doesn't really matter to you. If the latter then an ELCS seems pretty tempting.

oh valinna hang in there! Every single one of us on this thread has gone through that feeling. It is just your anxiety speaking, really, not any indication of the true state of things. How many weeks are you? Is the scan next Sat for 12 weeks? MMC are awful but it really is much more likely everything is fine than not.

Think about your lovely water birth! I am v jealous (and no you are nothing like Samantha Brick!). I have just planned to hire a pool and then fill it when I start getting contractions, otherwise there is no where to keep it in our house (although DS would probably enjoy an indoor swimming pool it would ruin the floorboards).

vall why the wobble now ? Has anything happened ?

vall keep swimming. Next Saturday is 7 weeks, right? Your anxiety fuels all kinds of horrible fears and imaginings but like fairy says, they bear no relation to what's going on in there.

nokkie I eat anything, but I know nuffink about babies or what they might need, so will be getting no cake either.

Thanks guys - nothing has prompted it (as in no bleed etc) just one of those horrible down moments when I worry it's all gone to pot. I know I will feel better later, I need to step way from Google.

I am 5+5 now, with a 7 week scan a week Saturday.

Right, proactively off to listen to PG relaxation CD or drown myself in Haagen das

vall Light kipper slap and hand hold, there is no reason to think that anything is wrong totally hypocritical of me I drove the ladies on here mad with my worry, its natural, I'd love to say it goes away but that would be a big fat lie we are here to menkul with you :)

mariana could you PM me your famous list to please? Thank you!

vallinna, it's much more likely to be ok than not to be. But there is nothing you can do except wait. I've always got thorough horrible waits by finding mindless distractions like crosswords, sudoku or playing games on my phone. Find what works for you. Sympathy though, we've all been there and it's horrible.

isabeller, no idea but I'd phone someone who should know, a midwife maybe or your clinic. And congratulations too.

I have to say that giving birth 'naturally' was not fun for me and I'd definitely go for a ELCS again were I to do it again. The main thing for me was the reduction of uncertainty, I found complications during DD1s birth very frightening so having a section avoided them happening again.

nokkie you're easily pleased aren't you?!

Of course dildals., on it's way..,

Morning all

Gosh I leave you all for 24 hours and you are so active!

Vall I hope your wobble is subsiding. There is no other way but to ride it out I'm afraid but as everyone has said we have all done it. It is too early to see anything even if you did bring a scan forward. It will be worth it next week when you first see that fluttering hb. It is an overwhelming relief. Both me and DP cried at the sight. Hang on in there lovely. It sounds wanky but time is just an abstract concept. It always moves at the same pace even if it doesn't feel like it. Take each task in front of you one at a time and concentrate on it and the day will pass in manageable chunks. Am impressed by your post pg recovery. I'm reflecting at the mo how I have spent the last 25 years worrying about my body. I didn't think my thighs were thin enough, my boobs were too small endless diet fads in my 20s and feeling inadequate in my 30s. Now I realise how beautiful my body has always been, it will never be the same again and I didn't appreciate it. I hope that I can give shazlett a safe environment to love herself and feel proud of who she is.

Isabeller I have no advice either I'm afraid but congrats on your pregnancy and I hope today is ok. Do come back and join us if you would like to. It's fun here!

Gin I'm also trying my hand at free cycling and not being successful. We are probably answering the same ads! I'll PM you re yoga.

Dildals I know what you mean about giving DH a look in. I am working on my 'perfectionist issues' in an attempt to resist telling DP what to do and how to do it correctly when shazlett arrives (as if I know anything anyway). Thanks for the chicken link. I'll look in the computer. I'm intrigued. I laughed at your bump needing its own postcode!

And fairy I laughed at your Freudian slip. No girl will be good enough for my little boy eh?

MrsH I'm hoping for a home water birth. My bro started filling their pool when SIL went into labour but it only lasted 2.5 hours so the MW had him boiling pans on the stove cause they couldn't fill it quick enough.

Noks I have also made no purchase. We have no space at the mo with the decorating marathon in full swing. I'm hoping to do a supermarket sweep type of affair nearer the time. Looking forward to the cake. Yum yum!

Mariana I'm not one to be left out. Please can I have your now infamous list?

Buzz you ok? Did you look at the weather for this weekend or next? Thanks to all who have PMd me. I'll reply tonight from the computer.

Sweetie and Noks I felt definite movement at about 19.5 weeks. But then realised that I'd probably been feeling things for a couple of weeks. It's like little tickly pops in your belly. Feels abit like a fart brewing! Am also suffering from humungous cankles. Feet higher than heart apparently but I never seem to sit down long enough to do that.

Expat when do you finish work?

I've found a hypnobirth teacher that will start NEXT WEEK! Eek. I can't believe I'm starting to plan for the future. But this bubba can't stay in there forever. Sooner or later it is comjng out so I may as well be prepared. Actually I'm quite looking forward to formally starting to plan. It's exciting.

Have a good day everyone!

shazz I looked for next weekend but the great british weather can change