Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Hello all! What a lot to catch up on

Vall how are you feeling now? I'm afew dys behind you, and am feeling the same. Swinging from feeling fine to utterly terrified. But things WILL be ok.

Shazza this hypnobirthing sounds amazing. What do the lessons involve?

What is this famous list you speak of Mariana?

Isabeller how did the dentist go?

Sorry for everyone I've not name checked hope you're all doing ok.

Shazz our hypnobirthing classes start next week too! We're not seeing the same person are we?? Mine are in East Dulwich
Val, just wanted to say - we've all been there! I can't really offer any more good advice than what the other ladies have already, just wanted to say that I feel your pain :(
x

Thanks for all your kind words and support. Not feeling fabulous today. Had acupuncture this morning and she has put two semi-permenant needles in the top of my ears which are good points for anxiety apparently. Also changed my clinic scan to further towards the end of that week so it is nearly a week after my first one.

Fab point about time Shaz - if I look back, this week has gone really quickly . I'll be intrigued by hypnobirthing. I did the self-teach CDs, I think you need to do a course to get the full effect.

Oh, I am also not allowing myself google access

Hang in there vallinna, I'm trying to think what else might help (in the absence of alcohol). I learned some mindfulness techniques - like meditation but not spiritual. You can get guided relaxation tracks on apps that take you through ten or twenty minutes. It basically teaches you to try and stay in the here and now and stop catastrophising about the future. I found it helpful to a certain degree. Not googling is good too. The trouble with googling is that it makes quite unusual situations seem really common.

Nomaybe, I'll send you the list.

shazza, I haven't ever had major body image issues but I am heavier, flabbier, hairier, saggier, more wrinkled in the face than ever before but it really doesn't upset me. I know I'll lose the extra weight and tone up when I get back to exercising but I'm generally very at ease with myself. I hope you can continue to feel positive about yourself and how well your body is doing for Shazzlet, it's a much happier mindset to be in.

Nokks, I was a bit short of bananas for my cake so daringly topped it up with strawberries and sultanas. It was very tasty.

Just been at the river for a picnic again. Much more pleasant with a cool breeze but it did bring a faint whiff of pigshit with it. We keep it real here in the sticks.

Hope everyone else is having a good day.

Picnic sounds lovely (minus the pigs hit, I'm not that odd )

I am looking at deep breathing techniques. You are right, as horrendous and scary as complications can be, they are rare but Google, and to an extent Mumsnet, make them seem more common due to the user demographic.

*shit, obvs

Hi val. Re: coping with the worry wobbles...how about 'forcing' yourself to counteract them with something positive? I know that realistically I won't be able to stop myself googling and worrying, so I just make myself add one baby name to a list every time I havea really wobble. We do have a very long list(!) but now looking at a huge list just reminds me of how many times I worried needlessly iykwim. So no solution to de stressing I'm afraid, but maybe something positive to add in to the stressing routine?

.... My stomach muscles have started separating ... :(

dildals what does that mean, it sounds nasty

Doesn't that happen to everyone Dildals? Is it not a case it happens and then (a suitable time) after pregnancy you do ab exercises to bring them back?

Crisps - love that idea

Morning ladies. Oh Crikey it's afternoon already!

Dildals how do you know your tummy muscles are separating? Does it hurt?

Crisps good idea re wobbles.

Mariana your picnic sounds lovely. Pig shit aside! It sounds like you have an excellent body image which is really positive.

I've booked my hypnobirthing.

Maybe - you can look at hypnobirthing uk for info. It looks like a positive way to think about the impending birth. There are loads of YouTube videos as well. The lessons involve learning about how the female body is built to give birth and how we can help nature rather than grit teeth and push all red faced and in pain. There are breathing techniques, meditations and visualisations to learn and most importantly, practice. Sounds idealistic and of course one must be flexible to things that could change during the process but tbh I'm someone who likes to be proactive in learning and preparing for what is comjng up. It helps me to feel empowered (in control!).

Well it's sunny despite the forcast so I'm nipping out. I'll PM re picnic later. Xx

hey ladies according to metcheck its going to be sunny and 24 on Saturday :)

Thanks so much for that Shazza! Sounds like a brilliant plan! Can't wait to hear how your first session goes!

I wish I could come to the picnic . Hopefully you lovely lot will havea other meet up one day soon

Good news about the weather buzz. Sorry not to PM re picnic. Got side tracked away from the computer at the weekend. I hope you all had a good weekend. Mine was ok. I feel very 'Monday morning' this morning. . Have a good day everyone. Xx

Rainy rain rain here. Bah. But nice to be cooler at night and to be able to put Trenchlet in a sleeping bag again.

Dildals, eek to your stomach muscles but they will join back together again afterwards. I think they split them vertically when you have a section and they're sore afterwards but seem to recover ok.

I hope everyone is getting through the day. I still get that Monday feeling on maternity leave as it's back to just me again.

It's funny isn't it Mariana, Mondays affect us even without the threat of the outlook inbox! Thankfully tomorrow is Tuesday and that's better.

Tonight we are going to make a cast of my belly so that will be fun.

I hope everyone else is ok. Keep are you back safe and sound? Expat how are you getting on? Are you on mat leave now? I hope the mentalling had settled down for all those in the early weeks. And I hope everyone else is ok.

I had a mini 'moment' today worrying what if I can't look after shazlett? No particular thing I don't think I can do but what if I'm not very good at it all? Silly I know.

Have a good evening everyone.

X

shazza I have had 'moments' banish those thoughts you will be a fabulous mum :) When are you do ??

mariana don't say that about Mondays and Maternity leave

its nice that the weather is cooler although its supposed to hot up again on Thursday

Hooray for sunny and 24 on Sat! What time are we thinking? I'm planning on attending a homebirthing seminar at Kings between 10-11.30 but thinking we might do more of an afternoon thing? Shazz, know you are PMing to arrange but wondered if we could/should try Green Park for a venue? No real reason why!

Evening All

Top tip of the day - Jojo Maman Bebe has an absolutely fantastic sale on at the moment. Cropped trousers and jeans for seven quid....yes, that's right SEVEN QUID and linen skirts for a tenner. I also got some tops for a fiver and wrap tops (which will do you no matter how big you get) for between ten and fifteen quid. So, get your cankles down there ASAP. I went to the one in Guildford today and cleared them out !

In other news, I think I have become mildly obsessed about hypnobirthing so shazza I shall be quizzing you on Saturday. Oh, and you will be a wonderful mum so you have nothing at all to worry about.

So, how many for cakes then ? I am pretty flexible on time - my only plea is for it to be after 1pm.

Nxx

Hi All!

Good luck with the bake-off Shazza

Noks awesome tip re: mat wear. Refuse to even contemplate it until after 12 weeks. Bought nothing before 20 last time will not be so fortunate this time.

I too am much appreciating the cooler weather!

I am in a crap place. Really worried about it all. 6+2 today. Had two very PG friends round at the weekend. Was a little at what they had to come, if that makes sense. You really cannot believe how much your life changes (in the best way!) when your first baby arrives. But I had had no sickness Sunday or today so of course and totally Saturday cannot come soon enough.

To top it all I have the most horrendous haemorrhoids I have ever had. TMI but proper blood leakage . Will have to change Cyclogest entry points and have enough Anusol up there to give their share price a major hike

Oh Vall that sounds awful. Definitely use the front door for bum bullets, now fanny candles, and I hope it all gets better soon. You don't need that to add to your concerns. I hope that you can find ways to cope with each day and remember that you won't have the 7th week of this pregnancy again so you might as well try to enjoy thinking about your little bean growing and developing and getting stronger. Focus your energies there and send him/her love and thoughts to help him be strong.

Noks, mrs, dildals, ceara, buzzy, maybe and gin I've pm'd you re sat. Let me know if you don't get it cause I sent it from the app on my pad which isn't always the most reliable. Have I forgotten anyone who can/wants to join?

Thanks for the jojo maman bebe tip Noks. I got some jeans and cropped trews from there at about 12 weeks and they are great even at full price. What I will need are heavier things in oct/nov when I am mahousive but as I don't know how big I'll be I'm going to have to wait and see.

We cast my torso last night. It was fun and I'm amazed to see how big it is. I wish I'd done it earlier now. We are going to do one at 9 months as well. We used 3 packs of mudrock plaster bandage and we think we need more to strengthen it. Just in case any of you are thinking of trying it. Use lots of Vaseline first then put cling film over your body before putting on the plaster bandage.

Re life changing with 1st baby. We've talked about this before but this is still a major concern of mine. Have DP and I made the most if our time together? What if we can't cope? What if we don't like parenthood? What if we've made a terrible mistake? What if we are awful parents? And so on.

Finally did anyone see panorama last night? We caught the end. It was about Internet dating scandal and how your online details can be sold to the highest bidder. The journalist bought profiles for a fake dating site. When she looked some of the puctures were of babies and children. DP got paranoid and made me promise not to post pics of shazlett. It is scary though when you think of the number of people who Facebook everything about their lives.

Hope you are all ok

Have a good day all.

Xx

Hi all.
Vall, that sounds awful. Can you get them treated? It's a long time to go and surely they'll just get worse. The early weeks of pregnancy are a roller coaster and I remember it vividly. It's hard to believe there's anything in there and the next scans seem like centuries away. Hang on in there.

Shazza I have those worries too. I feel okay about the first few years but what to do then? What makes someone confident and successful? I don't neccesarily mean financially successful but socially happy etc too. Do I have the tools to help her/him with that? Or is it luck? Is my job just to keep baby safe/alive/waterered/fed/entertained and the rest will just happen? Worrying will probably just give all the worst issues. I never did go to see the orcas or the giant turtles laying their eggs and now should I wait until my child is old enough to enjoy the trip too? I definitely don't feel as if I packed enough in my life either. But that's nuts - our life doesn't stop because we get a new member of family does it? Does it??

Haven't started maternity leave yet sadly. I have no idea what Belgium thinks it's gaining by keeping me working. I'm contributing nothing and if I was any lazier I'd be comatose. Well, I guess I could start maternity leave now but I only get 15 weeks and one of those weeks has to be before the baby is born so I really need to make the most of the time off when baby is here.

Anyway, sorry about the me me me whinge fest. It's perfect timing to have a picnic and I'm very jealous. Don't forget to take a picture!

Ouch vall! I'm on the anusol too and have found that those moist toilet roll wipes you can buy help. Is your scan this sat? I'll be thinking of you.

shazz your cast sounds amazing! What a lovely thing to do. I don't think we'd have room for one in our tiny house, not sure how we're gonna fit in the baby. And you will be a great mum. I think the fact you are even worrying about it shows what a great mum you will be.

Btw, I didn't get the pm!

I ordered a maternity nightie and a top from the JJM sale and the top was humongous! I may have another browse though Am looking forward to your cakes noks. I'm shite at baking so will bring along some mr m&s lard.

15 weeks al? That's rubbish! I'm v lucky with my mat pay, with full pay for 6 months (think it's them trying to make up for the crap pay normally). I take it you can take a year off if you want?

I'm really enjoying the cooler weather and finding life so much easier sans canckles and sausage fingers. Still having probs sleeping, but at least it's not bastard hot at night! I saw my mum yesterday and she couldn't believe the size of my bump. Am now a bit scared I'm having a giant baby!

I had a giant bump ginestas and a 7lb baby so don't panic. There seems little relation between bump size and baby size. You must be poorly paid public sector like me, I get 6 months full pay too which is brilliant. One month left then I'm onto statutory.

Don't panic about parenting. Most of it is keeping them safe, warm, fed and clean. You have a while to get the hang of that before you have to worry about the psychological side of things. By the way, I finished 'How to talk so kids listen' and I recommend it.

Jesus. I am feeding Trenchlet and DD1 is making me an imaginary breakfast with her teaset and has just told me it's bacon. Made of dead dogs. Mmm. Shall I get her to cater for your picnic?

Dead dog bacon, yummm. Well I guess if they put horse is lasagna, it's not that odd...

Phew that's a relief about bump vs baby size. How long are you going to be off work mariana? I was trying to work out my leave yesterday and am thinking about taking around 10 months. Yep I am public sector too. Another plus is the generous annual leave allowance, which I plan to tack on after the statutory pay finishes.