Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

juicy that is one high HCG level! No wonder you feel sick already. Are you taking bets on whether it's twins? I hoe you've stopped temping now!

shazza If you dont' mind me asking, why does your DP get stressed and angry about name discussions? Does it feel premature to him? Or do you have v different views on names? I've been lucky in that my DH and I have had no problem agreeing on names for DS and now DD to be.

When I gave birth to DS I was told he was out (I had a spinal block for the CS) and then when I heard a baby crying I asked the anaesthetist whether that was my baby. He said very kindly 'there aren't any other babies in here". Duh!

keep a woman in my antenatal yoga class didn't feel her baby kicking until 27 weeks and everything is fine. She must have been freaking out.

Hello everyone else. I have a problem that I'd like to see if anyone else shares. I have real difficulty emptying my bladder fully. During the day I can ignore it, but at night it drives me round the bend because I get up, go to the loo, hope it's all taken care of, go back to bed, realise I still feel uncomfortable, get up, nothing, back to bed, etc repeat for an hour at a time. Apparently it's caused by my womb pressing on my bladder but does anyone have any advice? I find if I lean forward on the toilet (sorry TMI!) it helps but that's about it.

Hi fairy
I don't mind you asking. He says that he feels enormous responsibility about the names and when he likes something he goes over and over it in his mind and 2 weeks later can't imagine calling his child that name. We mostly don't agree on names and just when I think we have he goes and changes his mind. What is doubly frustrating for me is suddenly he has decided that his favourite name is the name that our friend has just given her newborn boy and he won't shut up about it. Never mind that I would never in a hundred years call my son that name because my cousin has already called her son that name. Also everyone keeps telling him that the name will magically come as soon as he sees his child. I only believe this will happen if it magically comes from my lips and he is so deep in mariana's post birth daze that he thinks the voice has come from divine intervention! Re the weeing. I went 3 times in half an hour yesterday. I do drink a lot and have always wee'd a lot but I can always go again. I heard ages ago that you should lean backwards to empty your bladder which seems counter to the instinct to bend over and squeeze it all out.

Mariana clearly you should have had twins

I actually think it's a tough one as you presumably don't want them to be a rhyming pair but give them individual names, but ones that sound nice together. I found it hard picking a name that went with DD1s name.

Shazz, that sounds tricky. If I were you I'd decide what I wanted, what I might compromise on and then not mention it for a few weeks to take the pressure off him.

I've never understood this notion that babies suit their names instantly, all newborns look like boiled prawns to a greater or lesser degree and I think they only start to suit their name after a few weeks and their personality is properly developing.

Juicy great HCG result, we didn't have a HCG but I tested really early and got a BFP with my twin result.

Shazza it is so difficult choosing a new persons name and I understand the pressure this puts everyone under. We can not decide or agree on names either and have only had the discussion once as it got so heated. We came to the compromise that we would name one twin each after DH seriously suggested Eric & Ernie or Bert & Ernie FFS I know we have ages to go yet and may be we will broach the subject after our 20 week scan when we know what we are having. I hope you can get your situation resolved.

Mariana lovely photo of Trenchlett she looks very alert for only 10 weeks. I was imagining 10 weeks only babies to look a lot more helpless. Such a little love I am sure.

I am going to have to find a more comfortable position for sleeping as it is getting uncomfortable to sleep on my tummy. I have tried sleeping on my side but seem to drift back onto my tummy. How does a pillow between knees help? I have seen this suggested but not sure how this will help.

sweetie I think the pillow helps to align your pelvis, so it's good if you have issues there. I managed to sleep on my tummy for a long time by pulling one leg up, so your body is pulled up ever so slightly, making room for tummy. Now I quite like to sleep with my leg over the pillow with the pillow supporting the bump ever so slightly. Although I can easily sleep with the pillow as well. So haven't had to invest in to one of those special preggo pillows yet.

On names. Both me and DH are quite in to athletics so our favorite set of comedy names were Mohammed and Rudesha, after Mo Farah and David Rudesha, although we did agree that this would put some pressure on their 10k and 800m times. My colleague suggested Javier and Raminder, which had me in stitches. Another colleague came up with Cecil and Aurelien, seriously. I quite like Roman/Latin names, I love Phaedra and Minerva, but that is never ever going to happen. We both also like Trixie but we're not sure we have the guts! As I said we agreed on names that we both like and sounds nice, but will still allow the kids a normal life. Oh, and the one Dutch name I like is Beertje ... not a good name for a kid growing up in the UK ... The baby name book by the way suggested 'Sparkle' as being a Dutch name! Well ... I don't think so!

fairy I do get that occasionally too, that I think I need to go and then only a little bit comes out. Ten mins later. I need to go again. Same thing. I don't know what it is and don't have a cure for it either! I am already happy when I don't wee myself TBH.

We had work drinks today and I found myself talking about C-sections and birth with the (male, gay) head of our department. Quite surreal. He then mentioned that one of his female friends, a doctor, quite adamantly wanted a c-section. So I said 'oh was she an obstetrician?', no he said 'she's a urologist'. Ah. Point taken. Let's change the conversation!

Also - I can't tell anyone at work yet but I can tell you. So. They hired a new person to do my role (because I got a new job within the same company for when I come back from leave), and they have hired a pregnant woman! She obviously was the best one for the job etc, but still, I can't help finding it funny that they hired a pregnant woman to replace a pregnant woman! Anyway!

Chaos and Ruckus - those are their FB names by the way ... :)

But Dildals surely Beatrix is a fine (and lovely) Dutch name and then you could have Trixie. Beatrix and Gertrude - Trixie and Trudie! Aurelia is very pretty, Phaedra would be mispronounced I suspect. Minerva is lovely too, could be Minnie for short, very sweet. (I'm getting into this, I must have another baby. Ahhaha.)

It shows a refreshing lack of prejudice to replace one pregnant woman with another.

juicy, wow, what a great number. How many do you have in there again?!

shazz and keep, you are so strong willed to keep the gender a surprise. Good luck with your scan shazz. I am sure you will feel your little one soon, keep.

dildals love the names. I guess it is double the fun as well as double the responsibility, knowing that you have two to choose.

fairy, sorry, no cure from me either, just sympathy.

Mariana, she is just lovely, and looks so interested to be meeting the world, too. Thank you for sharing the picture.

I think it is right that the emotional experience of fertility problems does not leave you. I know I still feel and react to things like an infertile person who happens to be pregnant, and I imagine it will always be a part of me, whatever happens with this pregnancy. It is reassuring to know that these feelings are kind of normal.

I had my scan yesterday at the Fatal Medicine Centre and go back in 2 weeks for the blood test results and nuchal scan. Terrified already. The good news is that little one is still in there and growing nicely. My subchorionic bleed remains asymptomatic and appears to be rapidly reabsorbing; the doctor I saw at the FMC was not concerned and confirmed that the placenta seems unaffected. So, cautiously, phew. (And let that be a lesson to me to stay away from Dr Google and his scary stories and statistics...)

Hi to everyone else too. buzzy, hope you are doing OK.

Morning girls

Mariana you have found your calling. You know people hire doulas, well you could hire yourself out as a name consultant!

Ceara congrats on your scan. It is scary but they are nice aren't they? Very glam. I had a super glamourous doctor called Barbara. This 2Ww was torturous. Luckily I never had to go through the IVF 2Ww so the harmony was my first one. I caved in half way through the 2nd week and called them but they wouldn't give the results on the phone. The good thing is that if it is a 'bad' result they will call you and get you in earlier. So no news is good news. Fingers crossed for you.

Sweetie I fear our DPs were separated at birth. I'd bet a lot of money that my DP would also be championing both Eric and ernie and Bert and Ernie if I had 2 in there! Re sleeping, like dildals I am still using a normal pillow to my side tucked between my legs and my boobs. I also rest my top leg on this pillow and slightly tuck it under my bump. I'm thinking to progress to the bolster pillow that Mariana recommended a while back though as I'm starting to wake up with stiffness and a 'dead' hip.

Dildals. Love the sporty names. I laughed outloud. I bet last year someone did give those names to their babies born during the Olympics! I'm impressed with the hiring of the pg woman. And congratulations on the new job. I know that you were hoping for that last time we met up.

Hello to everyone else. All ok?

I'm aching all over and have a funny taste in my mouth. (Maybe I'm pregnant! Just remembered that a funny taste in mouth was a sign of early pregnancy ). I feel like I'm coming down with something and the timing is awful as we are very busy at work. Also lower back pain. I was standing a lot on Monday afternoon and I suspect that has caused it. I've got acupuncture tonight so hopefully she will be able to help with that.

Oh bit moany this morning. Sorry about that! Have a good day. X

Foetal, not fatal.......... :) well done on the good scan ceara

fairy I too have the wee issues. Sometimes I go for hours, but then when I Ho I feel I need to go again after ten mins. I think tea makes it worse, possibly the caffeine. Dh says its in my mind and I'm imagining it, and to some extent that's true, I can force myself to ignore it. I wonder if its irritation of some kind. I'm lucky that I'm better at night. Have you tried stopping drinking two hours before bed?

shaz you're right, I did say the placenta will make me geek movement later. But since when has rationalism stopped us mentalling?? I won't properly worry till 22 weeks. There's the scan to get through first....

sweetie I'm sleeping the same as shaz with the pillow. Getting better at not rolling over.

shaz sorry you're having problems on name discussions, but plenty of time for all that. It is a big responsibility, true, but not as much as actually bringing them up!! :)

Very true Keep. Eek!

dildals I like Beatrix and Minerva and then you could have Trixie and Minnie as mariana says! How do you pronounce "Beertje"? "beart-a"? Probably not a good idea in the UK as you say but there must be Dutch names that are not tricky for anglophones.

I'm impressed that your company has hired another pg lady but I guess that is something they are not strictly speaking allowed to take into account anyway. When is she starting? My replacement isn't starting until mid Sept (grrrr) which means I am going to be training her until I am about 38 weeks (if not longer ), which I'm not really that happy about as I would like to have the freedom to leave earlier if I feel like it. Congrats on the new job!

And yes I have 'leakage' as well as the not being able to go problem. It's just a tiny bit but still annoying. I didn't have either problem with DS so I guess everything has just loosened up inside - and I had a c-section so that doesn't mean your pelvic floor is necessarily spared!

shazza sounds like DP just can't get his head around a name yet but you've got lots of time.

ceara glad to hear that your scan went well and the bleed is reducing. Dr Google is often unhelpful but it is really impossible to resist when you are worried about something.

keep I would be rather put out if my DH said the wee problem was all in my mind! Although there is a psychological element to it in that when you start thinking that you have to go it is hard to switch off. Caffeine does make it worse. I try not to have much liquid in the evening but it's hard because I am really thirsty all the time and I get a dry mouth.

Yes I was pissed off too, but I do think that if I ignore it it goes away... If your wee is clear it means you are well hydrated, then try chewing some gum. It helps with the dry mouth and feeling thirsty!

Trixie and Minnie are lovely, but we have already discarded these and agreed on 2 other lovely names which will remain undisclosed!

The reason we weren't bold enough for Trixie was also because, combined with our last name, it sounds a bit like a stage name! We had visions of her sliding upside down a pole with glitter platforms with that name! :-)

fairy not sure when she will be starting, she still has to give notice so not unlikely she won't be here when I go. We'll see.

My DH said the other day that my bum was developing 'motherly curves'! How is that for comments that you don't want to hear! ;-) Does this man not value his life?
I did get complimented on my neat compact bump yesterday. I passed on the comment to DH, with a knowing head nod. Hmm!

I got 'I can't believe you're 4.5 months' last night. I told them not to say that else I'll worry more.

fairy if you need/want to go earlier then just do. That's their prob not yours, and you won't care once you're out of that door!

keep great proofreading :-) Effing autocorrect on phone.

The FMC (take that, autocorrect!) was indeed very plush and glamorous, down to the basket of individual hand towels in the loo :-) The (equally glamorous) doctor who saw us was also really caring and lovely. Definitely a good recommendation, shazz, though as you say the 2ww is going to be excruciating!

ceara, great that your subchorionic hematoma is reabsorbing. Mine had gone by 12 weeks.

'Motherly curves', dear god dildals. I know you don't want to say but have you chosen anything vaguely Dutch?

Keep, ha at fatal medical centre. I cannot bear told anything is all in my mind. All I ever tried for weeing was leaning forward and then back. I think a physio told me something about that once. Having a section doesn't save your pelvic floor, apparently lots of strain is caused from just carrying the baby/ies.

I would be a great name consultant, but only girls names as boys just aren't as interesting!

mariana not even vaguely Dutch! I don't like any of the Dutch names!

Not even Jip and Janneke?!

Trenchlet has been feeding for 2 and a quarter hours now. I assume she's having a growth spurt.

ceara great news on your scan and the bleed too :)

fairy its a bit risky of your employers to leave training that late, what id you go into early labour or something ??? Not trying to scare you or anything

mariana how long still can't get over how beautiful she looks :)

I am loving the names on here

dildals at least he said motherly curves, mine would most likely say 'is your arse bigger'

Well I had a scan today 10w2d this is furthered I have been, say junior waving, I had all my blood tests done today as well, its all starting to feel a bit real now but still have a long way to go, no more scans until 12w4d now eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk

:) for spotty!!! :) well done you! :)

End of work could not have come too soon today!

Dotty. Great news on scan and getting this far. You have been through so much and been so brave. Hang on in there

Fairy definitely leave when you want/need to. It is work's problem not yours. You could make a handover manual. That's what I'm going to do. I've got no intention of answering the phone when they call me asking the questions that will inevitably come up!

Dildals you have my sympathies. DP told me I'm definitely fatter now! My bro was there and even he said 'I don't think you should say that mate. It's not going to go down well!' Too bloody right it didn't . I'm curious re names for twins. You have 2 names how will you choose which twin to give which name?

Ceara glad it worked out for you. I used the loo and it's towelling hand towels and posh hand cream many times to get my money's worth. Forgot to tell you that they give you a DVD of the next scan. Now that's value for money!

Mariana I'm with you on boys names. So hard. Yet I'm sure I'm having one so I'd better get one lined up. Maybe trenchlet has hollow legs?

On my way to acupuncture. Am hoping for back pain relief. Have a good evening everyone.

Ceara, that's great news about your scan

My second beta hCG today measures 2,571 and my heartbeat scan is next Friday at 6+1 wks. I'm so ridiculously happy and grateful to be feeling pukesome all the time

Spotty, are you formerly known as buzzy? Congratulations on being well on your way there at 10+2, what a thrill! Did the bleeding stop in the end?

spotty yaay!!! Hurrah to getting this far, I am so pleased for you. It must be momentous to pass the point of your previous losses - though I imagine brings them back to mind as well. Your next scan must be 2 days after mine (mine is scheduled for 12+4 too but I think I am 2 days ahead of you, is that right? I'm 10+5 today). It's a long old wait, isn't it? At least the sun is going to shine for most of it (apparently?!) which I think always makes it easier to distract yourself and keep positive.

Are you still on the drugs, by the way? My other news, which I forgot in the scan excitement, is that I came off hormone support at the weekend. I thought it would be such a good feeling when that day came, to be medication free after 3 long months of stabbing and pill-popping, but actually it was mainly just scary to have the stabilisers taken off. A very unnerving feeling, trusting my body to just get on and do what it's supposed to on its own :-) I guess like all the other feelings we all go through, this too is completely normal!